I'm thinking family-meeting style (only just me and DH) to hash out our entire to-do list and assign tasks for each week. Has anyone successfully done this? Maybe he just needs exact direction.
@melody921 - This works really well in our house. DH has been very up front that he just doesn't see the same things as me and he gets frustrated when I have a list inside my head and then I'm pissed he didn't automatically know what I wanted done. He definitely needs direction and we both understand that.
I've found over the years that making a list for "us" is better than making it for him. Then it's not me telling him what to do, but just laying it out there - here is what needs to be done, let's divide and conquer.
It works 90% of the time. It's not perfect, but at least I don't feel like it's all falling on me. We also have "assigned" household tasks that we agreed on early in our marriage. (i.e. I don't mow the lawn, he doesn't clean bathrooms)
This is how it used to be in my house. Yet my lawn is high and I have vacuumed the past couple of times. No wonder my allergies have been acting up.
That's when I start nagging. I never vowed to be nice 100% of the time. I'm not afraid to push him if he isn't getting something done. But on the flip side, he gives me a hard time if I don't handle something I'm supposed to.
I'm thinking family-meeting style (only just me and DH) to hash out our entire to-do list and assign tasks for each week. Has anyone successfully done this? Maybe he just needs exact direction.
@melody921 - This works really well in our house. DH has been very up front that he just doesn't see the same things as me and he gets frustrated when I have a list inside my head and then I'm pissed he didn't automatically know what I wanted done. He definitely needs direction and we both understand that.
I've found over the years that making a list for "us" is better than making it for him. Then it's not me telling him what to do, but just laying it out there - here is what needs to be done, let's divide and conquer.
It works 90% of the time. It's not perfect, but at least I don't feel like it's all falling on me. We also have "assigned" household tasks that we agreed on early in our marriage. (i.e. I don't mow the lawn, he doesn't clean bathrooms)
This is how it used to be in my house. Yet my lawn is high and I have vacuumed the past couple of times. No wonder my allergies have been acting up.
When this starts to happen, we re-evaluate the list of chores. If he is tired of doing the dishes every night, fine switch me for something I'm tired of doing too.
WTF Toddler: It's already hard to leave you in the morning. Having a complete and utter meltdown at drop-off doesn't help.
Aww, hugs. This is DD's MO. It makes mornings so hard. Today though, I was actually able to leave her at the window after telling her I'd wave from the outside. When I got outside, she waved to me, while holding her little stuffed monkey, and I could see her mouthing "Bye, Mommy," as I walked away. Seriously adorable, and I hope it's a turning point.
WTF useless front lines people? I have "OUT OF OFFICE" on my calendar in big bold letters until 11am. Don't tell someone who walks in at 1015 to meet with me (walk in, not my screw up) that I'll be right out, then yell at me when I get in that they've been waiting. Pull up the fucking calendar you demanded access to and do your job!
WTF boss's boss - I was just told that I won't be able to help my boss recruit interns this fall because her boss doesn't want us both out of the office traveling on the same day.
I'm really not that valuable and I love recruiting.
(In her defense, a bunch of things blew up last year when we were gone and she didn't have anyone to help her, but my team is a million times better this year!)
I'm thinking family-meeting style (only just me and DH) to hash out our entire to-do list and assign tasks for each week. Has anyone successfully done this? Maybe he just needs exact direction.
@melody921 - This works really well in our house. DH has been very up front that he just doesn't see the same things as me and he gets frustrated when I have a list inside my head and then I'm pissed he didn't automatically know what I wanted done. He definitely needs direction and we both understand that.
I've found over the years that making a list for "us" is better than making it for him. Then it's not me telling him what to do, but just laying it out there - here is what needs to be done, let's divide and conquer.
It works 90% of the time. It's not perfect, but at least I don't feel like it's all falling on me. We also have "assigned" household tasks that we agreed on early in our marriage. (i.e. I don't mow the lawn, he doesn't clean bathrooms)
This is how it used to be in my house. Yet my lawn is high and I have vacuumed the past couple of times. No wonder my allergies have been acting up.
When this starts to happen, we re-evaluate the list of chores. If he is tired of doing the dishes every night, fine switch me for something I'm tired of doing too.
i find this especially helpful. sometimes when i get to thinking i'm doing way more than he is, we'll have to switch for whatever reason and i'll realize the divide isn't that lopsided. but of course, that's contingent on having a fairly even split in the first place. that required a sit down or two.
WTF coworker. Some jobs are not 2-week notice jobs.
Right? One of DH's coworkers gave 48 hour notice. WTH? Because it is always a good idea to force your paramedic coworkers to work crazy long hours to cover you at the drop of a hat. Safety for everyone!
That's just unprofessional. 2 days?! I've never given less than 2 weeks.
The only argument I have ever heard against giving notice is that you run the risk of your employer saying... Ok, well you can leave now, or oh well you're fired as of today. It doesn't happen often because employers want non-competes intact and may not want them to be eligible for unemployment.
We had a written agreement with this employee that we would guarantee continued employment for up to six months following a notice that he was looking for a new job. We asked for a preferred 8 week, but minimum 4 week notice for this position due to the nature of the work and project length. The idea is that if he starts looking for other work, let us know so we can get his future replacement in for him to train so that when he does get a job we're not screwed. This fucker gives 8 business days notice in the middle of an overseas project for which he is the axis, and as a cherry on top he called in today after he didn't show up because he was getting his work physical for the new job. Strolled in at 4pm, and is now packing up to leave.
The only thing that makes me happy is that this is his only job experience. There is a good chance he will get fired from his new job, and then what is he left with as a reference? People burn bridges without thinking.
Wth, Bil and his gf?! You have been here for 2 weeks eating my food and getting taken out for fun outings. You can't watch the toddler while I make you dinner or pick up after yourself? It's pretty effing obvious I'm overwhelmed and your whole family came out under the guise of helping us with the new baby.
They're super sweet but if I have a screaming baby in a moby wrap while I'm rinsing spinach and a toddler going between wanting to be held and tearing apart the game room, get off your ass (where they sit all day) and either offer to help with dinner or entertain the toddler who adores you!
I would hope that I would tell them to leave. Seriously, it is awful enough caring for a new baby and your own family. Why the fuck are they there?
Wtf dad? I appreciate you bringing stuff back from vacation for me so I didn't have to over pack the jeep but did you need to leave it all in the bed of your truck? Pack n play. Soaked. Air mattress soaked. Cooler with a blender and the air compressor full of water. Bag of sheets and towels. You really could not put it in the back seat of your truck?
WTF DH's Boss? You were actually stupid enough to say that you didn't give DH a promotion because he has to have a transplant? I want to nail your ass to a wall so bad!
WTF DH? Why did you break my new coffee pot that I just got today to replace the coffee pot you broke on Sunday? Girl needs her caffeine!
WTF workers who paved the neighbor's new driveway. You broke our fence & now you are giving us the run around about fixing it.
WTF neighbor on the other side who put up a new fence. You are a giant asshole for reasons too long to type. #fenceproblems
WTF Amazon. Why did you fck up my order for DD's flower girl shoes? She is going to be walking down the aisle barefoot at the rate I'm going. She puked when I attempted to have her try on shoes in the store last week, so I've resorted to ordering a million shoes online instead.
WTF DD? Why are you a three-year-old little punk? She is so affectionate and playful with DH but seems to only want to be nice to me if she wants me to do something for her. It actually made me cry last night, which I know is silly. We've been trying to tell her it hurts my feelings and to be nice, but it is terrible we even have to do that. I don't know why she acts that way toward me.
This sucks. I am sorry. I was hoping L wouldn't start to hate me until closer to 13. You are telling me it starts at 3?? Damn.
This exact thing and stage was my worst time with DD. It was hard and I cried many nights. DH felt bad because on some occasions I'd accidently resent him, too!
I got my first "I don't love you" from ds today. Waaaah! He's 3.5.
WTF DD? Why are you a three-year-old little punk? She is so affectionate and playful with DH but seems to only want to be nice to me if she wants me to do something for her. It actually made me cry last night, which I know is silly. We've been trying to tell her it hurts my feelings and to be nice, but it is terrible we even have to do that. I don't know why she acts that way toward me.
This sucks. I am sorry. I was hoping L wouldn't start to hate me until closer to 13. You are telling me it starts at 3?? Damn.
This exact thing and stage was my worst time with DD. It was hard and I cried many nights. DH felt bad because on some occasions I'd accidently resent him, too!
I got my first "I don't love you" from ds today. Waaaah! He's 3.5.
Kids can be cruel. And it hurts so much more because we love them to death.
DS1 has told me he doesn't love me before, it broke my heart. Then last night he told DH, "you're a mean Dad." I actually LOL'd because of the way he said it. Then he paused and said (still in a mad voice), "You're NOT a mean Dad!" That was his way of saying "you're not mean, so you should share your iPad with me."
Re: WTF Wednesday
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012
Nancy James 9.1.12
Calvin Donald 8.27.14
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012
We had a written agreement with this employee that we would guarantee continued employment for up to six months following a notice that he was looking for a new job. We asked for a preferred 8 week, but minimum 4 week notice for this position due to the nature of the work and project length. The idea is that if he starts looking for other work, let us know so we can get his future replacement in for him to train so that when he does get a job we're not screwed. This fucker gives 8 business days notice in the middle of an overseas project for which he is the axis, and as a cherry on top he called in today after he didn't show up because he was getting his work physical for the new job. Strolled in at 4pm, and is now packing up to leave.
The only thing that makes me happy is that this is his only job experience. There is a good chance he will get fired from his new job, and then what is he left with as a reference? People burn bridges without thinking.
WTF workers who paved the neighbor's new driveway. You broke our fence & now you are giving us the run around about fixing it.
WTF neighbor on the other side who put up a new fence. You are a giant asshole for reasons too long to type.
#fenceproblems
WTF Amazon. Why did you fck up my order for DD's flower girl shoes? She is going to be walking down the aisle barefoot at the rate I'm going. She puked when I attempted to have her try on shoes in the store last week, so I've resorted to ordering a million shoes online instead.
I got my first "I don't love you" from ds today. Waaaah! He's 3.5.
Big Kid Jan 2010
Littlest Man Sept 2012