Cloth Diapering

When Do You Speak Up?

So my friend on facebook is upset because her 7 week old ff baby still wakes up at least two times/night to eat.  She wants recommendations for how to get him to sleep through the night.  While there are one or two random voices of reason that say "he's 7 weeks old, this is what he's supposed to do" most people are giving her advice about how much/which cereal to start feeding him and people without kids are even recommending different lotions and switching formulas and blah blah blah.  I want to be encouraging and offer up info about what a bad idea it is to offer up solids at such a young age and how it's an old wives tale, but i'm quite certain it will fall on deaf ears.  In what circumstances do you offer up advice and in what circumstances do you just shake your head and move on?
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Re: When Do You Speak Up?

  • What about just dropping MK's link and walking away?
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  • I would offer advice since she asked. Not really about that, but she still asked.
    If she had just posted a complaint about baby not STTN, I wouldn't say anything.
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  • People are saying to feed cereal to a 7 week old??!??!  
  • Yeah, I would definitely give advice, since she's asking for it and she's getting really bad advice so far.
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  • My 2YO doesn't sleep through the night. I would just walk away from this one.

    With any luck, your friend will eventually realize that there is only so much that one can do to encourage STTN. Every kid is different. And that it was a bad idea for her to ask her FB friends for advice on the subject.

    If you really feel a need to say something, maybe it could be something to the effect of advising her to consult her pediatrician before introducing solids at such a young age.
  • I don't think it was too preachy. She might not take it well, but that's on her, not what you wrote.
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  • Maybe just try a little empathy. I know what your going thru. As tempting as it is to try food so early, baby's really only need milk at this point. She/he is/will sleep thru the night at some point. Some baby's may start sleeping thru the night at 2 months, just don't plan on getting a full night/ uninterrupted sleep for a while. Even if she sleeps thru the night tomorrow that doesn't mean she don't be waking up twice a night at ten months. With baby's sometimes you just have to roll with the punches. Good luck and sending positive bibs your way.
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  • You can also send her links to good info via PM, if you want to avoid the circus on her news feed. Sounds like the lady who responded to your post thought that the latest recommendations were a critique of her parenting skills. Who needs that.
  • I suspect that feeding a 2 month old solid food would be considered abuse in some places.
  • FFS-a girl I know just posted on FB that she cried because her big girl ate from a spoon for the first time; she is 12 weeks :(

    I've been unfriending left and right because I seriously can't take the stress shit like this causes me! People inflict too muh drama into FB world and that's the only way I have figured out how to deal-out of sight out of mind!
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  • We were told cereal by a bunch of people for our newborn. Wtf?

     

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  • I'm having the same problem with a friend of mine who is breastfeeding, but already has her one month old out of her room trying to get him to sttn. And feeds on a schedule... I have a horrible time not commenting. So many people are saying good for you and "show him who's boss"...
  • Unfortunately asking a Ped doesn't always lead to the best advise either. I know people who's Peds told them to put cereal in their newborn's bottle
  • Sounds like she's not going to listen to any good advice, anyway. Poor baby, he should not be expected to Sttn at such a young age.  DD slept through the night at 8 weeks but I know that is not common.


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  • This kind of stuff makes me so sad. They're just tiny little babies they can't help it. My daughter was a terrible sleeper and didn't sttn with any frequency until two (and still often doesn't) and I got some very dubious unsolicited advice over the years.
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  • This kind of stuff makes me so sad. They're just tiny little babies they can't help it.
    I dunno. Pretty sure I used to hear DD in her crib, muttering to herself while rubbing her tiny little hands together manically. I'm sure she was plotting ways to make my life hell by not sttn. Gotta show those hungry infants who's boss!
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  • You know, I would give this mom a break and just assume she was looking for sympathy because she has been through some tough nights. And unfortunately her phrasing may have encouraged her FB friends to post all kinds of advice, regardless of whether it is good or bad or helpful or not. I'm sure she wants to do the best she can for her baby, in any case.
  • You know, I would give this mom a break and just assume she was looking for sympathy because she has been through some tough nights. And unfortunately her phrasing may have encouraged her FB friends to post all kinds of advice, regardless of whether it is good or bad or helpful or not. I'm sure she wants to do the best she can for her baby, in any case.

    Though I agree that she was looking for sympathy-I can't agree that she wants to do the best for her baby. Expecting a child to STTN is not understanding a newborn, sleep cycles, or what a child needs. I would have a hard time keeping my mouth shut...though it would fall on deaf ears
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  • Mandmeesh said:

    You know, I would give this mom a break and just assume she was looking for sympathy because she has been through some tough nights. And unfortunately her phrasing may have encouraged her FB friends to post all kinds of advice, regardless of whether it is good or bad or helpful or not. I'm sure she wants to do the best she can for her baby, in any case.

    Though I agree that she was looking for sympathy-I can't agree that she wants to do the best for her baby. Expecting a child to STTN is not understanding a newborn, sleep cycles, or what a child needs. I would have a hard time keeping my mouth shut...though it would fall on deaf ears
    Sure, but I think that's a point where she needs to be educated. NB sleep cycles aren't necessarily common knowledge (if they were, maybe American society wouldn't expect women to be back at work with 3 months or less of family leave). If she is a new mom this could very well be part of her learning curve.
  • GUYS! 

    So I have another friend who has a two week old and posted that she was never going to sleep again.  It was purely a vent post and most people received it as such and offered sympathy. One chick asked if her kid was gassy though and then offered this advice:

    Let him suck the end of a candy cane. The peppermint will soothe his belly and the sugar will help calm him down. If you need some I bought like 8 boxes when A____ was born. Anything w/ peppermint will work though.

    A candy cane?  For her barely 2 week old kid?  I need new facebook
    friends.
    Yes. You do.

    Nothing like some sugar to settle a 2 week old. It's probably not even sugar and peppermint. It's probably corn syrup and who knows what
    Sak, you need to suggest whiskey on the baby's gums. That will definitely be better than the candyc cane.

    If you're friends with the mom who vented, I would absolutely yell "no!" About the candy cane suggestion. That is insane and makes me worry about all babies
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