intro and feeling guilty.

Jbosarge85

Hi everyone. I just joined 2u2 Wednesday. DD is 18 months and DD was born on Wednesday. I feel extremely guilty lately because I haven't been spending much time with DD. DS wants to nurse a lot so it's really hard finding time to play with her. I'll snuggle with her while watch tv but I hate just watching tv all day. I took her to a park with a friend of mine but I was holding DS so my friend ended up sliding with her and playing with her. I feel like such a bad mommy. Any tips would be helpful. Thanks

krazyinsane

It gets better. I promise. Right now DS is learning to nurse and everything else. DD#2 and DD#3 are 18 months apart.

Get some little board puzzles and any 'art' supplies and you can sit with DD while she works on them and you can nurse DS. I always try to include my bigger girl(s) for EVERYTHING I can... Diapering, bathing, changing clothes, cuddling during nursing sessions that way they are less upset when I need a few minutes to care for baby by myself.

I haven't really had any sibling rivalry for attention... Don't know if it's the way I handle this, my kids or just dumb luck but it's worth a try

jesselayne8

It's totally normal. The guilt I had after #2 was born was almost crippling for me. I felt like I was failing both my kids. Those feelings go away although it may take a few months. I remember feeling like I could finally exhale when #2 was 10wks. Hang in there and take it day by day.
DD used to love to bath her little brother. It made her so happy. I would fill the infant tub and lay down towels all over the floor and let her "wash brother".

ashiscute

It's going to take time for everyone to adjust.  The adjustment is probably harder on you than your DD.  My DD was 19.5 mos when DS was born and I felt horrible for a long time but honestly DD really didn't seem that broken up about it.  

We read a lot of books and colored because those were activities I could do next to her (although when DS was only a few days old I don't know I did much of anything with her.)  The best suggestion I have is baby wear.  I wore DS in the moby for a couple hours each day and it made a huge difference in my ability to interact with DD.  Good luck!

Jbosarge85

Thanks for all the advice. My husband works nights and sleeps during the day and since DS was born to catch up on sleep he didn't spend his usual 7hrs with us and went straight to sleep. Today he stayed awake and held DS so I was able to play with her, it was great making her laugh and holding her. I just need to make time to do that every day.

kcbv123

It gets easier once you get into a routine. I second the baby wearing- makes it a lot easier to chase #1. I would spend some quality 1-1 time a DS 1 when 2 was napping. I had to fight the urge to try and clean up while DS was playing by himself but spending quality time w him was way more worth it in the long run

bookworm982

Hugs! Your baby isn't even a week old. You are doing great! I second the votes for baby wearing and trying to play with DD while DS naps. The newborn phase is so short when compared to the lifetime of friendship your kids can have.

Honestly, the best thing that helped with my two was involving DD in DS's care so that she got attention that way. She was only 13 months, but she'd do her best to wipe his mouth with a burp cloth or rub his head while he nursed. Now, almost a year in, they are inseparable and she's still his little mother hen.