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TTC After a Loss
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i dont want to be here...

Mills0401Mills0401 member
in TTC After a Loss
I'm at the hospital waiting to have the d&c done. I know I will be leaving here without my child. I want to just run out of here but I know I'll have to cone back. Guess this is reality and I don't want to face it.
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Re: i dont want to be here...

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    mrsjg2013mrsjg2013 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss and that you're struggling today.  I remember feeling that exact way- I wanted nothing more than to bolt from that hospital and just hide in my bed.  The time prior to the procedure was the hardest for me, the anticipation.  I hope that your procedure goes well and that you can find some comfort and support here as you heal afterwards.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    ((Hugs)) T&Ps to you today. I will never forget that feeling. It does get easier, even though it seems like it never can. ((Hugs))
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    yellowcat10yellowcat10 member
    (((Hugs))) I am so sorry
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    jjbmstincojjbmstinco member
    ((Hugs)) we are all here if you need us. I am sorry that you have too go through this.

    December 4                     image

    Married-1/2012
    TTC-8/2013   BFP-4/18/14  EDD: 12/29/12 MC-5/17/14 @ 7w4d
    BFP #2-11/13/14  EDD: 7/26/14  Beta #1: 11/14/13 (135 progesterone: 19.5)   Beta #2" 11/17/14 (733 ) 
    Hoping for good news!

    Everyone Welcome

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    Km380Km380 member
    I'm so sorry. I hope the d&c goes well. Be kind to yourself and take time to grieve (((hugs)))

    PgAL welcome


    Married 6/11/2011

    Me & Hubby: 34

    TTC journey started 12/2012

    BFP #1 6/5/2013, MC confirmed 6/26/2013 @ 7 wks

    BFP#2 8/25/2013 MC confirmed 10/16/2013 @ 12 wks (D&C 10/18)

    Diagnosis: unexplained RPL, unexplained IF.

    Also have hypothyroidism

    Started TTC again 12/2013

     

    IUI#1:Clomid CD 3-7, Trigger'ed CD 12. IUI CD 14. BFN

    IUI #2:Letrozole CD 3 - 7, Follistim CD 9, Trigger CD 10, IUI CD12. BFN

    Current plan: IVF with PGD. Antagonist - Vivelle Protocal. Stim start 12/1. ER 12/14.

    http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/502498

    image imageimage

    image


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    FeeganFeegan member
    I'm very sorry for your loss, sending you so many hugs. Take care of yourself, be kind to yourself, let yourself feel what you need to feel.
    TTC #1: 3/2013
    02/2014: Clomid = BFN
    03/2014: Femara + Menopur + Ovidrel + IUI = BFP! - 3/17/14
    EDD: 11/29/14 - MMC @ 9 wks: 4/25/14 
    Misoprostol 4/28 & 4/29 - D&C after misoprostol failure 5/2/14
    07/2014: Spontaneous IUI, no meds = BFN
    08/2014: Spontaneous IUI, no meds = BFN
    08/2014 v2.0: Final spontaneous IUI, no meds = BFN
    09/2014: BCP cycle in prep for injectable cycle in Oct.
    10/2014: Gonal-F + Cetrotide + Ovidrel + IUI  = BFP!
    TWINS! 
    "Top Bunk" & "Bottom Bunk" due June/July 2015
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    KS0510KS0510 member
    I am so sorry, sweetie. Please take time to relax and pamper yourself over the next few days (weeks!). You need it. *hugs*
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    LundleBeanLundleBean member
    I'm sorry for your loss.
    Siggy Warning BFP/Loss Mentioned
    Me: 30, DH 30 Started TTC 7/2009
    9/2010 SA=Normal 9/10 HSG Dx Both tubes dilated; Rx bilateral salpingectomy & IVF; 9/2010-12/2012 Financial break
    1/2013 Bilateral Salpingectomy 5/2013 Recent SA shows borderline morphology
    5/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #1 6/25/13 ER=11R 9M 9F  6/28/13 3dt of 2 embies (8B & 6A-); no frosties: BFN
    10/2013 IVF w/ ICSI #2 11/12/13 ER= 9R 6M 6F  11/15/13 3dt of 2 embies (8A & 8A) 3 frosties (2 day-5, 1 day-6)
    11/22/13 (7dp3dt) +hpt  11/26/13 (11dp3dt) BFP Beta=141 11/28/13 Beta 2= 372 EDD 8/5/2014
    3/20/14 Fetal Demise 20 wks F/L 17 wks D&E attempted 3/21/14 & 3/22/14 Born Still 3/23/14  I love you B.T.
    "Sometimes you try your hardest, but things don't work out the way you want them to." –Nani (Lilo & Stitch)
    “All I can say is, it's a sort of kinship, as though there is a family tree of grief. On this branch, the lost children, on this the suicided parents, here the beloved mentally ill siblings. When something terrible happens, you discover all of the sudden that you have a new set of relatives, people with whom you can speak in the shorthand of cousins.” ― Elizabeth McCracken
    imageimageimage
    8/2014 FET 8/7/14 Transferred 1 5-day blast (4AA): BFN
    image
    TTCAL September Siggy Challenge:  Animals in Clothing

    Will add soon

    **All AL/AIF Welcome**
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    Mills0401Mills0401 member
    I'm still alive! The d&c went pretty textbook with no surprises. It hit me pretty hard when I woke up. The poor nurse didn't know what to do. All she seemed to be able to do was offer more pain meds which let's face it they won't help a broken heart. Thank you everyone for your T&PS. I hope God blesses you all for you all have been angels to me.
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    sfazarsfazar member

    I'm so sorry for your loss.  Take care of yourself as you heal and move through your grief. You might want to check out the Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss board. I found it so very helpful in the weeks immediately after my loss.  The ladies there talk a lot about healing physically and emotionally.  We discuss those things on this board, too, of course :)

     

    Sending lots of good vibes!

    Me (34); DH (35)

    BFP 11/25/13; Heard strong heartbeats for 3 weeks; Natural MC (1/15/14)

    BFP 11/11/14 EDD 07/21/15 hoping for our rainbow!

    Pregnancy Ticker
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    MSU_Girl1202MSU_Girl1202 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad the procedure went well. Take care of yourself. ((Hugs))
    Married 07/2006, TTC since 2010
    08/2011: Clomid 50mg, IUI --> BFN  ,
    10/2011: Clomid 100mg, IUI --> BFN
    04/13: Clomid, IUI BFP --> MC at 6w1d
    05/13: Femara 2.5mg, IUI --> BFN  , 08/13: Femara 2.5mg --> BFN
    03/14: Femara 5mg, IUI --> 1 follicle @ 27d --> BFP! EDD 12/02/14--> blighted ovum, missed MC 6w6d --> D&C
    4/23: D&C...starting over again, with a little part of my heart broken off
    5/31: Femara 7.5mg --> cancelled cycle, no follies
    7/14: Femara 5mg + brevelle + menopur + IUI --> converted to IVF, ER 7/28 --> ET cancelled due to severe OHSS.
    9/20/14:  Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP--> EDD 6/6/15 --> MC at 5w3d      
    10/16/14: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFN
    2/6/15: Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP --> MC at 5w4d
    3/20/16: PGS-tested Frozen Embryo Transfer --> BFP, Living Child born 12/1/15
    6/6/17: Fresh IVF Cycle --> Severe OHSS, 5 PGS-tested embryos frozen
    2/23/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
    3/30/18: Cancelled cycle due to lining 4.2mm
    6/21/18: PGS-tested FET --> BFN
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    stinybeanstinybean member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. T&P and many ((HUGS))
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    summerbld2summerbld2 member
    So very sorry. We all have been there and it is incredible sad! Hugs to you during this difficult time!
    Met my husband in 2002
    Married my Husband and Best Friend in 2006
    Our precious son born October 2011
    Found out pregnant with #2 in April 2014
    No Heartbeat found May 2014....
    D&E done May 30th 2014
    BFP 8/20/14 - EDD May 1st 2015! :)
    image"">
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    beckynsean11beckynsean11 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I remember feeling the same way. Hugs!

       Me: IR-PCOS, elevated DHEAs, low progesterone, weak ovulation  DH: low volume, low T
    SHG 5/10/13: both tubes blocked; HSG 6/28 = Left tube cleared! Right blocked.
    BFP#1 7/20/13 EDD 3/30/14, m/c 8/19/13, D&E 8/21/13, Chromosomal results = normal, female
    Lap & hysteroscopy scheduled for 10/31, right tube cleared, no endo found! ...Happy Halloween!
    Cycle 14: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP! EDD 9/16/14~ Rowan Elizabeth born sleeping at 17w4d on 4/12/14 due to IC.
    ~There is no foot too small that it cannot leave an imprint on this world~
    New RE June 2014. RPL b/w - negative. SIS looking for uterine/cervical abnormalities & Asherman's 6/10/14 - ALL CLEAR!  
    Cycle 16: Natural IUI = CP, Cycle 17: Femara (2.5) + IUI = BFN, Cycle 18 Femara (5) + IUI = BFFN, Cycle 19: Break
    Cycle 20: Clomid (50)+ IUI = BFP EDD 6/20, transvaginal cerclage 12/19, Carson Quinn born sleeping at 16w3d on 1/6/15 due to IC
    Phone consult with Dr. Haney (Univ of Chicago) for transabdominal cercalge scheduled for 2/9/15.
    "We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams."
    image image imageimage 
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