Traveling with a newborn.

kezias

So I am mostly a lurker and post here and there but I have a question for you ladies. My cousin is getting married 2 weeks after my due date with number 2 and I really want to go to the wedding. Problem is, it is 6 hours away and in a city where no family lives so it means staying in a hotel. I'm not worried about diapers on the trip but traveling that far with a 2.5 year old and a 2 week old. Would you go?

Mandmeesh

Nope. Me and my newborn stayed inside for just about eightt weeks. Besides doctor visits.
Edit typo

Into+the+Kitty

TMI.

My vagina felt like it was falling out at 2 weeks post partum, so no I wouldn't go.

mrshudson618

No way. I don't think I could have sat in a car for six hrs 2 weeks after delivery. Plus that's at least three stops for feeds and diaper changes, probably more, so your 6hr drive could easily end up 8+ hrs.

Robi1

I voted SS, because I don't think you can make this decision ahead of time. I might RSVP with a conditional yes, but expect to probably not go. First of all, you might go late! What if your baby is 1-2 weeks late? Then you will have a less than week old baby at that point... I would not go in that case. 

Of course, you could also deliver a few weeks early, and might be feeling pretty comfortable at 1 month postpartum. Who knows? 

You might have an easy delivery, and be recovering well in two weeks, or you might have a C-section, a bad tear, etc, and that will determine whether you want to sit in the car for that long, etc. 

Also, if you're wanting to breastfeed, it'll be much harder to do so for a trip like that - it means stopping very frequently not only on the drive, but during the wedding festivities. Would you be bringing both kids to the wedding? And the reception? I think that would be too much for me - I recently took my 9mo to a wedding and it kind of sucked because we couldn't enjoy that much of it since we were mostly attending to her needs, we had to duck out to feed her, leave early for her to go to bed, etc. And if you're staying in a hotel, that's a whole different ballgame as well with the two little ones.

So all in all I think it's something you will have to see how you are feeling at that point. I understand wanting to be there for your cousin, but ultimately, it might just be way too much work and hassle especially at a time when you want to be resting up and enjoying your time with the new little one. 

kezias

Things that make me think it's possible: 

-I was back to work at week 3 with W at 3 days a week, I own a small business so not much choice here 

- I have an aunt that lives 1/2 way there we could split the drive up in 2 days,<>

  - since I rarely get vacation time I want to take advantage of having relief and using time off. 

-I was induced 6 days early with W due to blood pressure problems and labor and deliver went very good, hoping I can get induced again, because planning relief help isn't the easiest for me.

 - other family will be there that can help with the 2.5 year old and he will have lots of cousins to play with. 

 Things that want me to stay home 

-my vag was very sore and sat on ice packs for the first week with W

 - breast feeding was difficult for me and I ended up EP for the first couple of months, I know more about breast feeding so I hope it is easier this time.

 -it's my family so DH will be hands off in taking care of the kids.

kezias

Ok sorry about pervious comment how do I make paragraphs on an iPad? 

Edited -figured it out.

YellowLily2013

I went to a wedding when ds was 9 days old. But it was only an hour away. Even so breastfeeding out in public wasn't really an option then since I really needed to see everything! Luckily a bad bfing experience turned good -- since I was able to use the brides holding room. Score!

Even so, I was exhausted and we left the reception early.

BUT it wasn't a family wedding so I didn't know or trust the people there to watch our kid. So if it were a family wedding and the people watching my kid weren't getting drunk. It'd be fun.

ETA: I think the drive + hotel are more of the issue than just the wedding.

But splitting the trip into two days sounds like a good plan if you can stand to be out of town that much extra.

mrshudson618

why would your H be hands off in taking care of the kids, just because  it is your family???

haileyq

2 things coming from my ER nurse brain:
1. You're at high risk for developing blood clots during pregnancy and 6 weeks post partum; long car rides increases that risk pretty significantly.
2. How do you feel about your newborn with pretty much no immune system being around a bunch of germy adults?

Just food for thought, a little different perspective!

Mandmeesh

haileyq said:

2 things coming from my ER nurse brain:
1. You're at high risk for developing blood clots during pregnancy and 6 weeks post partum; long car rides increases that risk pretty significantly.
2. How do you feel about your newborn with pretty much no immune system being around a bunch of germy adults?

Just food for thought, a little different perspective!

Yeah. All of this

kezias

mrshudson618 said:

why would your H be hands off in taking care of the kids, just because  it is your family???

It just seams when we go to visit my family he goes on vacation mode and let's me and my mom take care of things. Perhaps I'm a little bossy and so is my mom, so he just hangs back and let's us do our thing. 

haileyq said:

2 things coming from my ER nurse brain:
1. You're at high risk for developing blood clots during pregnancy and 6 weeks post partum; long car rides increases that risk pretty significantly.
2. How do you feel about your newborn with pretty much no immune system being around a bunch of germy adults?

Just food for thought, a little different perspective!

I am worried about the no immune system, but I do plan on wearing baby and not passing baby around to everyone. 

I definitely plan on it being conditional to how I feel, how early/late I am, and how I feel. And I lean towards not going but I will be sad to miss the event. Thanks for everyone's input. 

zaraceligon

In my opinion going to a the wedding is been irresponsible, not just for your baby for your health,and for your toddler. Like haileyq said you are on a risk of blood clots. Just for been good with the family doesn't means you are going to risk your health. But if you think you can handle it go for it, but don't cry later for something the can easily be avoid.

Mandmeesh

kezias said:

mrshudson618 said:

why would your H be hands off in taking care of the kids, just because  it is your family???

It just seams when we go to visit my family he goes on vacation mode and let's me and my mom take care of things. Perhaps I'm a little bossy and so is my mom, so he just hangs back and let's us do our thing. 

haileyq said:

2 things coming from my ER nurse brain:
1. You're at high risk for developing blood clots during pregnancy and 6 weeks post partum; long car rides increases that risk pretty significantly.
2. How do you feel about your newborn with pretty much no immune system being around a bunch of germy adults?

Just food for thought, a little different perspective!

I am worried about the no immune system, but I do plan on wearing baby and not passing baby around to everyone. 

I definitely plan on it being conditional to how I feel, how early/late I am, and how I feel. And I lean towards not going but I will be sad to miss the event. Thanks for everyone's input. 

A cough or sneeze travels more than six feet through the air. Yuck. The baby carrier won't stop those air born germs from covering baby

bumpuser5078523

I would plan on going, but I hate sitting at home. The long drive would put me off, though. Like mentioned above, you have to factor in feeding stops and still recovering from birth.

km_md

My physical recovery was great and I probably wouldn't have been in pain to go at that point. But I was so exhausted those first couple of weeks I felt like I was going to die. It was all about survival, never mind dressing up for a wedding. I was also super cautious about taking DD anywhere that young without her vaccinations yet.

MAdams728

Nope. I wouldn't even have considered it. I was physically ok, but I would have been waaaay too tired and stressed to make a trip like that so soon after birth. Plus the germs.