Not tonight dear, I'm too tired, gross, sick or drunk:

shadypines

Not tonight dear, I'm too tired, gross, sick or drunk: Frustrated husband creates spreadsheet detailing different reasons why his wife would not have sex with him.....

Hilarious

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2699651/Not-tonight-dear-I-m-tried-gross-sick-drunk-Frustrated-husband-creates-spreadsheet-detailing-different-reasons-wife-not-sex-him.html#article-2699651



Would you be upset?

shadypines

I wonder if we can make a pie chart out of this data?!

LuckyDad

Too drunk?

ElTrain5

that'd be awesome.  instead of having to make up an excuse I could just refer him to "#11".  time saver!

shadypines

ElTrain5 said:

that'd be awesome.  instead of having to make up an excuse I could just refer him to "#11".  time saver!

Lolol!

FrickandFrack

I'm gonna play devils advocate here. I'd be frustrated if I only had sex twice a month also. Making a chart is stupid but maybe a good wakeup call for her?

[Deleted User]

That's an asshole move. Fuck him.

SpaceGirlSpiff

My H told me about this and talked about it a bit.

Can't imagine WHY she's not anxious to jump in the sheets with this prince charming every single day.  I mean, a spreadsheet sent to her by email as she's on her way out of town? Really? Is this an adult? He's "not going to miss her because see spreadsheet attached"?  Lovely.

If my H resorted to a tactic like this instead of just coming to me and having an open and adult conversation about his concerns, the ONLY thing it would accomplish is making the exact situation he's complaining about even worse.

It's just not going to accomplish or improve anything. 

I have no clue about the details of this couple, only what I can see from this snapshot situation and it makes him look like a douche...but, maybe he has tried to have conversations and he's just tired of it and ready to bye-felicia the whole relationship....that's the only thing that might slightly make sense, because otherwise not sure how he thought this would improve things.  Even if that's the case what a pussy, immature way to do it.  

This is your WIFE... your life partner...not your sex machine that isn't performing up to spec.  At least have the decency to have an adult conversation.

By all means he can be disappointed in their lack of intimacy...that is not the issue I'm arguing.

shadypines

If he's got time to create this spreadsheet, he's got time to have a real discussion with his wife. Wtf?!?!

I would add dickhead to spreadsheet for another reason.

But like @justAphase‌ hilarious from outside looking in.

shadypines

lol at "I'm still a bit tender from yesterday".

theimpossibleastronaut

I gotta agree with the fuck this guy sentiment.

Even if he was frustrated, he should have discussed it with her rather than create a spreadsheet.

wesleycrusher

FrickandFrack said:

I'm gonna play devils advocate here. I'd be frustrated if I only had sex twice a month also. Making a chart is stupid but maybe a good wakeup call for her?

OK, if he thought making a chart to visually show her would be a wakeup call, then show it to her in person and have a discussion about it. And if he was too chickenshit to show it to her in person then that right there would tell you it's not a great idea. 

renbee

If I was badgered for sex nearly every single night, I think I would lose my mind.

ElTrain5

I don't know about you ladies, but nothing turns this girl on like the passive-aggressive use of Microsoft excel.....

I mean, if you want to keep track of her excuses because she denies them later, that's fine, but there's a right way and a wrong way to go about it.

Examples:
Wrong way:
"Honey, I'm really bothered by the fact that you'd rather watch 'Friends' reruns than have sex with me"
"What?! I do not!"
"Yes, you do. See, I made this spreadsheet...wait, are you hooked up to Bluetooth? Ok, I'm sending this to your phone now...see, it's right there on the spreadsheet, numbers 18, 25, 46 and 52(b)"
Conclusion she draws: you've obviously spent an obscene amount of time documenting her "bullshit" reasons for not wanting to fuck you, instead of talking about it with her as it comes up like a fucking adult. Also, she's regretting paying your student loans for that computer science degree.

Right way:
"Honey, I'm really bothered by the fact that you'd rather watch 'Friends' reruns than have sex with me"
"What?! I do not!"
::sneaks peek at crib-sheet under table"
"Yeah, you did it last Friday before we went to bed, and again two night ago after we came home from dinner?"
Conclusion: well....I might be holding out a bit too much...and damn my husband has a good fucking memory.

See? You can still have your psycho-spreadsheet and eat your cake too. (Also, he should consider eating that cake more often. Might solve all of his problems right there.)

FrickandFrack

Admittedly, I didn't read the whole article so I didn't know about sending it to her work email and saying he wouldn't miss her. I wonder if he has tried speaking with her privately. Still not an excuse for the behavior but we don't know all that has been provoked either. I'm sure I'm the odd man out on this one.

FrickandFrack

I went back and read it all but still didn't see anything about previous conversations. I do feel badly that she's been so overloaded with work, renovations and gym time which is all to improve their lives.

[Deleted User]

It does not matter what provoked it.

It's manipulative, punative and simply immature.

snmetz7

I don't think I would be upset by the spreadsheet in and of itself. The fact that it was sent to her by email, on her way out of town for two weeks says "he isn't going to miss her".. now THAT would piss me off. Not to mention WORK email. Dickhead move.

SpaceGirlSpiff

humptydance said:

It's obvious he asked her nearly everyday to pad his spreadsheet.

YES.  And I also wonder if he asked her at obviously inopportune times when he KNEW she'd most likely say no (based on her mood or whatever else she's doing), just to make him look like more of a victim.  It's just so stupid.

snmetz7

@humptydance My H does the same thing sometimes. I think it is because he doesn't really want sex either but doesn't want me to think he doesn't want it.