July 2014 Moms

BB/PPD/PPA Ongoing Thread

As requested, an ongoing thread for asking questions or relating to others about how you feel post baby.

Because we can't see siggies on mobile... Try to include how many days/weeks pp you are.
IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




«134

Re: BB/PPD/PPA Ongoing Thread

  • 17 days pp
    Previous history of PPD/PPA

    I have it bad right now, lots of crying and physical symptoms. Overwhelming anxiety, feelings of inadequacy as a mother, guilt.

    My OB office wants me to get into a psychiatrist, but I've called a dozen places and they either aren't taking new patients, or the next opening is in a month. So I've got that extra frustration.

    I'm very lucky to have insurance and a supportive family, and I know this will end, but it's hell being in the middle of it.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
  • 20 days pp

    Last week was rough for me, lots of crying and just overall depression...but I couldn't pinpoint what I was upset about. I started feeling better this weekend. DH stayed with the boys so I could go to Starbucks and grocery shop alone. I think just getting out of the house for a couple hours alone was the best medicine.

    Thinking at this point I have a touch of baby blues, but definitely will be mentioning to my OB. Hang in there fellow July mamas!!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Loading the player...
  • 8 days pp

    Baby blues hit me every evening - some days better than others. Very teary. Worried about the social isolation. We're new to the area. I'm the first of my friends to have kids (and most of our friends live in NYC, about 30 minutes away) and don't have any family in the area. It's overwhelming to me when I don't have any plans for the day and don't know how I am going to pass the time. Looking for moms groups but having a hard time finding any active ones in my area. Feeling like it's hard to find newborn appropriate activitites.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • 17 days PP
    I've been feeling pretty down. I have absolutely no appetite, I've been crying at least as often as my baby, and typically without any provocation. The first few days postpartum I felt pretty good and enamored with my baby, but probably a week in my mood shifted downward dramatically. My husband has been very worried and sympathetic. He let me go to dinner with some friends while he watched the baby on Saturday, and it definitely lifted my spirits. 
    I find that getting adequate amounts of sleep, and whenever I can get a helping hand with the baby, I feel a bit better. 
    Hoping it's just the baby blues.
    image
    imageimage

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    image
  • 21 days pp. I'm feeling pretty inadequate and alone. I felt myself getting frustrated with baby last night. :( I've been putting on a pretty decent face for everyone else though. Praying it ends soon.
  • BBColt78BBColt78 member
    edited July 2014
    @kisspiff I can't believe how hard it is for you to get in for an appointment. I'm so sorry you have to wait like that. Wish I had some good advice.

    @SimpleComplexity‌ Do you have anyone to help at night if you get frustrated? It's easy for patience to run out. Do not feel guilty about letting baby cry if you get overwhelmed. Are you a FTM?

    @Aimes33m‌ as soon as baby gets out of that newborn funk you'll be able to get out easily. I took little steps with my first. I went on walks, then a drive and built up to going to stores and things. You'll be out there soon!
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • 19 days pp... I've been on Zoloft since I was postpartum with ds1. I'm doing okay overall, I have moments during the day where I break down or feel super sad for really no reason. The sooner I realized it wasn't baby blues, DH was dragging me to the doctor so we could come up with a plan. My hospital was great because they gave me my medication while I was recovering. Total life saver for me.
    Married 02.06.10
    DS1 born 11.19.11
    DS2 born 07.02.14

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

  • 17 days PP

    I've been feeling pretty down. I have absolutely no appetite, I've been crying at least a@Sim&Dee‌
    ten as my baby, and typically without any provocation. The first few days postpartum I felt pretty good and enamored with my baby, but probably a week in my mood shifted downward dramatically. My husband has been very worried and sympathetic. He let me go to dinner with some friends while he watched the baby on Saturday, and it definitely lifted my spirits. 
    I find that getting adequate amounts of sleep, and whenever I can get a helping hand with the baby, I feel a bit better. 
    Hoping it's just the baby blues.
    Getting out helps me too. I also feel like getting as much sleep as possible, especially in the beginning is very important. Couldn't agree more.
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • 15 days pp.
    I have good days and bad. By husband went back to work today and I broke down last night. Especially since now night time feedings will be all me since he has to get up early for work. Sometimes I feel like he is better with out dd then me. He is very good at calming her down, and I feel like I can't do it, she will just cry and cry until my husband takes her. Then she will go right to sleep. I must say though that my 2 year old has adjusted pretty well. I am struggling with giving them equal attention though.
  • @Aimes33m‌ is there a Facebook mom group for your area or neighborhood? I didn't realize that was a thing until I found one for my area.

    @jamboree jess‌ I hope it's baby blues too, but it might be worth a call to your doctor just to talk it out. I'd hate for it to get worse and the lack of appetite could be bad news (something I'm dealing with too)

    @SimpleComplexity‌ talking about it is so much harder than putting on a good face, but I really recommend you do it; SO, mom, BFF. Just letting other people know you are suffering can be good, and then they can watch for signs that it's getting worse. I agree with @BBColt78‌ about getting some nighttime help if possible. Or even just following my DH's advice "I put him down, close the door the go eat an ice cream. A baby never died from crying"
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
  • 15 days pp.
    I have good days and bad. By husband went back to work today and I broke down last night. Especially since now night time feedings will be all me since he has to get up early for work. Sometimes I feel like he is better with out dd then me. He is very good at calming her down, and I feel like I can't do it, she will just cry and cry until my husband takes her. Then she will go right to sleep. I must say though that my 2 year old has adjusted pretty well. I am struggling with giving them equal attention though.

    @kweaver123‌ I feel the same way. MH seems to stay calm and handle everything. Though it's my second as well, I feel all awkward taking care if her sometimes! He seems to know what to do. Probably because he's thinking straight. MH is off until I'm about 15dpp, I know I will be crying for sure:)
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • I am a ftm with very limited support. I may find someone who can watch him for an hr or two, but not all night.
  • I'm 8 days pp and have baby blues. I've been crying most days every day but it has been getting a little better. My husband was very sympathetic but now he says he is over it and doesn't understand why I'm not happy that I have a beautiful healthy baby. It's frustrating. I've had major breast feeding issues and baby will only latch with a nipple shield for a few minutes and I'm supposed to try at every feeding as well as pump. None of my family understands why I can't and put so much pressure on me. I'm hoping it gets better.
  • Today was a rough day. We had a really poor night of sleep last night which I think is making me feel worse. I am completely overwhelmed at the thought of another night like last night. My wedding rings still don't fit (I bought a bigger cheap one towards the end of my pregnancy that I'm still wearing.) I cried thinking about that my husband and I won't get to commute to work together anymore. My MIL is visiting today and my mom gets here next Monday. I feel like I don't want them to see me upset so I'm constantly hiding how I'm feeling.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I hope I can jump in, I still have an inside baby, but this pregnancy has been really rough. Being pregnant 2 years in a row really took a toll on me. My 11 month old is as cute as a button, but I'm just filled with so much anxiety on how I'm going to get through this.

    I'm still working 40 hours a week, and literally havnt slept in over a year. I sweat each night and can't breath and LO still wakes up for one or two bottles a night. I literally cry everyday at everything. I'm just wondering how it will be when DS arrives.

    How am I going to divide my attention? I've never in my life cried so much, I'm over it but when and how can I feel better? Praying for this feeling to go away. Hugs to all!

    We have our "Irish Twins"

    DD born 8/7/2013

    DS born 7/28/14

    <>

  • emy730emy730 member
    I'm just 5 PP at this point, but I'm definitely struggling with something. It may just be the baby blues, but I literally sob everyday for various reasons and sometimes no reason at all. I made an appt to talk to someone for tomorrow and I'm hoping that will help.

    My husband will be off until DD is a month old, and while I realize how lucky we are, the thought of him going back to work makes me bawl my eyes out and have terrible anxiety. He's so good with her, way better than me, and I'm not sure how I'll do it without him here all day.

    Life just feels so overwhelming. I expected to feel some of this, but the detachment is the hardest part. It causes guilt and anxiety and I just keep hoping that I'll finally feel connected to her like he does.

    I'm sorry that any of you are going through this too. We will all get through this, even if it doesn't seem possible.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I'm 5 weeks PP, diagnosed with PPD, and I've been on Zoloft for five days. The depression is so hard to cope with, and the worst part now is the Zoloft makes me even more tired than before, and it hasn't quite kicked in to it's full power. I have good days and bad days, but the bad days are really bad. And of course, two days after starting Zoloft, our car breaks down- today we found out it needs a completely new motor, but thankfully we bought an extended warranty and it is a problem that was completely, 100% not our fault. But we have to come up with 200 for the consult and warranty deductible. We can't come up with ten bucks for dinner. DD has been doing better, which eases me. My tits no longer hurt from drying up milk, and I stay dry with breast pads only now. I still feel a lot of depression and disappointment for not being able to breastfeed. I still hate formula feeding. I doubt that goes away. I get lonely so quickly. I hate being at home alone, and I'm constantly reaching out to friends on my phone, facebook, whatever. I feel pretty numb now, but.. I just don't know...
    BabyFruit Ticker



    image
  • @tricksyPixie

    I just wanted to send out hugs to you. You have always made me laugh while posting on this board. I'm so sorry you are going through this. I had to FF last year, yes I was sad about it, but in the end it was better for the both us of. I could not produce because of getting pregnant, but I promise the feeling of being disappointed about it does go away. Please, if you ever need someone to talk to you can PM me at anytime. Sorry about the car as well. When it rains it pours, but it does make is stronger in the end.


    We have our "Irish Twins"

    DD born 8/7/2013

    DS born 7/28/14

    <>

  • Hugs to all of you ladies :( it breaks my heart that you are going through this.

    In the beginning, I had the baby blues hardcore. I wasn't eating and like a lot of you ladies, felt very anxious when my fiance would have to leave for work. I'd cry eveytime he would call in to check on us and would count down the hours until he was done and on his way home.

    I hate being alone too. It's getting easier as each day passes. I find myself crying less and not feeling as panicky when my fiance has to leave for work.

    I'm also leaving for Connecticut on Monday to see my parents and my sister for a few weeks with the baby. Knowing this, I think has contributed to my mood being lifted. I'll get to see my family and my fiance's family while I'm up there. I'm looking forward to the extra company and being surrounded by them.

    I hope the days get easier / more manageable for you ladies. Knowing you're not alone definitely helps. Hugs again :)

    image
    imageimage



  • emy730emy730 member

    3 weeks 4 days.  I don't know how to characterize this.  DH went back to work yesterday (last night) and I was alone with the two of them.  I started sobbing before he left and cried everytime I got up with Caroline  I just felt so abandoned.  I know I'm being irrational and I had less time with him home with Lauren but I guess now I'm outnumbered and it scares me a little.  


    Plus, Lauren is making me feel guilty about BFing with the new baby.  She weaned herself at almost exactly 12 months.  She wanted nothing to do with BFing anymore.  Now that she sees me feeding Caro she's jealous.  It was easier to make a little time for just me and her while H was home, but that's not going to be so easy now.  

    Even now as H is getting ready for work, I feel really panicky and jittery.  I've felt pretty great up until Monday and now I'm just...floundering.
    Oh sweetie. Many, many hugs to you. You're not being irrational at all. It's overwhelming and it's hard. Add in hormones and it can be a downright mess. You're doing a great job!

    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Completely overwhelmed and on the verge of tears all day yesterday and today. I'm hoping these feelings are temporary.

    image

    User Banned You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
  • ksspiffksspiff member
    edited July 2014
    I want to to respond to each of you, but mobile sucks, so I'll try to get on my computer tomorrow.

    This weekend was my lowest point. Sunday I called my in-laws to come over and then didn't get out of bed until 4pm. There was so much crying and I wasn't even alone.

    Tuesday was actually a really good day and I felt normal. I'm so hoping it continues and that all of you will have better days.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
  • I'm two weeks pp tomorrow. I have a Dd 1 who is three.

    Because I kept a blog with dd, I was able to go back and see that my baby blues lasted about two weeks. As I near the two week mark, I'm starting to feel a little better. There is less crying and I feel Less overwhelmed.

    As with other posters here, I'm a STM and I was surprised by the sadness and overwhelming feeling this time. because I know that life gets back to normal, I was not expecting to feel overwhelmed again. Wanted to make sure to post so other STMs can see that we are struggling too.

    Hugs to all you girls... Keep us posted.
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • ksspiff said:

    I want to to respond to each of you, but mobile sucks, so I'll try to get on my computer tomorrow.

    This weekend was my lowest point. Sunday I called my in-laws to come over and then didn't get out of bed until 4pm. There was so much crying and I wasn't even alone.

    Tuesday was actually a really good day and I felt normal. I'm so hoping it continues and that all of you will have better days.

    I'm glad Tuesday was better. How was the rest if this week? Hoping it was like Tuesday.
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • 18 days PP

    I was definitely a water faucet for the first 2 weeks. I mean crazy... Laughing one minute, then crocodile tears the next and then laughing because I was crying for no reason or didn't know the reason. I had a very hard time with DH going back to work. separation anxiety I think after the whole labor and delivery bonding experience not to mention he has been a huge help! Each day I have less tears and I have found if I go outside at least once a day it makes me feel better. I also like if I can talk to someone during some of my nursing sessions because they can be long and are so frequent that I get lonely. The baby is more alert each day and seems to recognize me and want to be with me which also helps me feel needed and loved. My OB has been having me go in once a week so he can take a look at me and make sure I seem good.

    Hugs to you ladies dealing with this as well! It's a major change with healing bodies and almost no sleep. There is light at the end of the tunnel though!
  • God, I just am at a loss for effing words right now. Not only is our car broken, we have an extended warranty, but the company is trying to get out of it. So now it looks like not only are we out a car, we won't be fixing it and we will be paying a payment we barely make on something that doesn't fucking run.

    Oh oh, you haven't heard the best yet. My BIL was in a car accident. He collided with a semi head on, but thankfully he is ok. Just two broken ankles, a broken finger, lacerations to both arms, dislocated shoulder and ankle and a lot of cuts and bruises. Anyway, after an er visit, a hospital transfer and being told he would get a surgery the next day, he was discharged and told he would have surgery next week. My in laws are out of the damn country, and my DH and I are having to care for dd, who has thrush, and my BIL, who can't do much on his own, not to mention try not to freak out because we are just about 120% fucked. Meds still not helping much. Ready to run away.
    BabyFruit Ticker



    image
  • Hugs to all you mommies having such a terrible time. Be good to yourselves. Self care is important.

     

    image

    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers

  • emy730emy730 member
    One week PP here. I feel pretty good during the days, but around 7 at night I start feeling that overwhelmed/anxious/sad feeling and I normally start sobbing. It really sucks because I'm usually not sure why I'm even crying. Tonight I just feel like I'll never find normal again. I find myself terrified of how my marriage is going to change and how DH and I will fair. I'm still feeling that awful detached feeling from everyone but him. Sometimes I feel like I could just hug him and never let go, sort of like separation anxiety. I started Prozac on Wed after talking to my doctor. She was great and struggled with PPD with both of her children. I might start seeing a therapist again too. I need these hormones to level out and these meds to start working.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @TricksyPixie‌ oh girl, all the hugs in the world to you.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
  • It gets worse. DH's grandpa died last night.

    It's a never ending shitstorm. I'm not medicated enough for this.
    BabyFruit Ticker



    image
  • @TricksyPixie‌ my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • I lurked for a few days not sure what to say but now I think I'm ready. I'm 3weeks and 3days post and having a really hard time. I am a STM with an almost three year old at home. The first few weeks home were great actually. I felt confident my oldest went to day care and to my in laws and DH was home and helpful at night.

    Then at about 16days post DH began working super late and I had both boys for the majority of the days by myself. We didn't see DH for days. I knew it was coming it was just so hard. That really hard week seemed to have thrown me into a huge funk. I have a seriously short fuse with my 3yo and can't stand breastfreeding. I cry all the time and yell. I used to pick my battles and now I react to everything. I am also feeling like my support system feels like I should have it more together and I just...don't.

    Hoping things get better once DH is back to help at night- should be by the end of this week. I just miss my old self and the way I used to be.
    Pregnancy Ticker


  • @sarahdallen‌ I am the same way with my DS. He is 2 1/2 and lately I have had such a short fuse with him and I feel like I am yelling at him all the time. I feel terrible for my DS.
  • @sarahdallen‌ I'm glad you posted. Is the bf getting any better? I've noticed some of the girls switched to formula. Are you against that if you hate bf? I hated bf.

    DD was driving me nuts and we were always yelling at her. Now we give her marbles for good behavior and it's really helped. It helps us focus on the positive.
    IVF #1- BFP- DD 4/8/2011
    FET #1- 3BB and 3B-B
    Beta #1 (4w0d)- 504
    Beta #2 (4w4d)- 4,577
    Beta #3 (6w0d)- 78,399 HB 115 bpm
    U/S #2 7w0d- HB 155 bpm

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers




  • emy730emy730 member
    @TricksyPixie‌ oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. Praying that things will start to look up for you soon!
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Almost 3 days PP

    I had a panic attack this evening and have been crying off and on for the past few hours. It's a mix of things...mostly guilt. But I also really miss just being with DS. Really hoping it's just baby blues, but the panic attack has me concerned.
    One direction photo: One Direction gif onedirectiongifmacarenaey_zpsbdaf903f.gif
    DS born 3.12 
    DD born 7.14
  • 1-2 days PP...My LO was born at 5:30 am yesterday.
    I am a crying horribly sad mess. Can someone tell me this is normal? My friends & family keep repeating to 'be strong & stop crying.' I can't stop crying. My baby is a day old and I haven't held her since they grabbed her from my chest when she turned blue soon after her birth.
    I have to ask to even have them open the curtain so I can see my LO through the NICU glass window. Why can they not let me be horribly sad and guilty and mad that I am alone in this room with SO and someone else is caring for my baby because she cannot breathe or eat on her own?
    This is the most horrible feeling in the world- I am not meant to be away from her. It makes it worse when they keep saying I'm not being strong. I cannot help crying or feeling this way, & it takes some kind of strength to stare at my baby girl for hours through a window and not get to touch her!
    Oh this is killing me. I hate it.
  • @lindslalala‌ panic attacks ARE scary. Hopefully as hormones even out, it will go away

    @lynjae2004‌, that sounds 'normal' to me. That is a lot to deal with. T&p for your girl. If I was there, I'd hold you and let you cry. You can only be so strong! Hoping your family and friends understand that soon and are more supportive
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic 
  • @lynjae2004, allow yourself to feel what ever your reaction is, and even if others are not supportive of you expressing yourself, let it out. You've described a natural response to the situation you're dealing with. So sorry you're baby is not able to be in your direct care right now, but I'm hoping this is temporary for her and she will get strong. It is through suppressing our feelings that we become unhealthy and inappropriately angry or sad. You have reason to feel sad and upset and anyone telling you that to be strong can't include crying or having emotions, is probably an unhealthy person. Hope you and baby get time together soon.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"