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mallory4284

I wish I would have seen this board before I tried posting in TTC.

Anyway, a little background before I start rambling my incoherent, stress-filled post:

My girlfriend and I have been together for five years. We decided two and a half years ago to start trying for a baby. We went to my ob/gyn with questions and she suggested going to a fertility doctor. We did and in the first year we had upwards of six failed IUI attempts. My doctor then suggested a laparoscopy to ensure my uterus et all were in good working order. The results from that surgery were essentially inconclusive because my doctor came back saying that everything looked "perfect" so there was no good explanation as to why I wasn't getting pregnant with the IUIs.

We had one more failed IUI post-surgery and my doctor's next course of action was IVF. We agreed but he was too expensive so we took a few months off and started seeing a fertility doctor suggested by a friend who had a more doable priced IVF.

We attempted IVF twice with this doctor before deciding (being forced) to take a break essentially because we were tapped out of money. Then, a new coworker of mine told us about the sperm bank she and her wife used to get donor sperm for a home insemination.

We looked into it and got all the paperwork in order, picked out a new donor, and decided to try a home insemination for the first time this month.

With that being said, I'm starting to stress and this was supposed to be less stressful. I've been tracking my cycles and found that I seem to have a 26 day cycle. Thus, all the different online ovulation calculators/calendars were saying I should have "high fertility" anywhere between Tuesday the 15th and Sunday the 20th, with quite a few saying I should have ovulated ON Friday.

I'm very regular so I didn't think this was going to be an issue. I called the sperm bank on Tuesday and she recommended I order the sperm as it's good for a week after shipment and they apparently frown upon calling and ordering last minute. So I had it shipped on Wednesday for a Thursday delivery because I didn't want to risk not receiving the sperm in time.

Now I risk the opposite, receiving the sperm too early. I started an OPK (advanced clearblue easy) on Monday and got my first flashing smiley on Thursday. I expected, was hoping, to get my solid smiley this morning (Saturday the 19th) but instead I got my third flashing smiley. And I've recently read reviews online of women saying they had like ten days of flashing smileys before their solid/peak smileys.

If that happens in my case, I'm pretty screwed, figuratively. I'm beginning to worry that I just wasted a perfectly good vial of sperm. I know it's still slightly early in my cycle, and it's not over yet, but does anyone have any words of encouragement??

I'm assuming I should wait until my peak smiley, right?? I wouldn't be getting the flashing smiley if I already ovulated?? I don't want to miss my ovulation, but I obviously don't want to inseminate prematurely either.

I know I shouldn't stress, but it's hard not to. How did everyone else conceive? And what were your bumps on the road? Advice is definitely needed!!

Thank you for sticking with my rant!!

mallory4284

Glad to hear you were ultimately successful! I'm assuming I must fall under the "unexplained infertility" which is frustrating.... Thanks for the luck! I'm sure I can use it!

mallory4284

Very frustrating lol so much for me thinking it was going to be less stressful.... I'd almost rather the meds and ultrasounds and doctors visits.... But I'm definitely hoping for success with this! Thanks!

StacyLH24

Welcome.  I can't offer any advice on the at home insemination.  I used OPKs for my first two IUI cycles and it caused me so much anxiety, so I asked for Ovidrel from that point forward.  We have a TTC Check In on Mondays if you want to join in.  There are some folks here who have been successful with at home insemination, so hopefully they will chime in.  Our board tends to be quiet during the weekend, so it may take a few days.  

Danni_Girl

Welcome!!!
I unfortunately have no advice either.
Did you go ahead with the ICI?

Jazibel

Welcome :-) 

I've done at home ICI's and IVI's (and IUI's with a midwife).  I'm happy to post a longer comment if you ever have additional questions.  Regarding the OPK, I always used at least 2 brands so I could get a more specific window. If there is still time this cycle you could try another over the counter, or Wondfo (I bought these cheap on Amazon).  That way I could see the line getting darker and match it to the smiley face and pick the best peak fertile window.

Additionally I would try to match 2-3 other fertile signs such as cervical position and opening, cervical mucus, BBT, etc.  Again in an attempt to narrow the window.  After a few months of tracking it was a little easier - still super stressful but clearer nonetheless.  :-)

Good luck!

mallory4284

Thanks!! We haven't done it yet. I keep going back and forth between wanting to just do it tonight and getting it over with and getting another type of test and trying that out.... And then if I still haven't gotten a good positive by Tuesday, then just doing it so the sperm doesn't go bad. I don't know. I'm a woman and can't make up my mind to save my life lol

redrockmama

Hi there and welcome! We were successful with at home ICI's (our third try). I'd agree with what @Jazibel said and would also strongly recommend reading the essential guide to lesbian conception if you stick with trying at home. The book explains all the fertility signs and how to chart them. It will also teach you how to know when is best for you as an indiviual to inseminate. We are all so different so what worked for me, wouldn't work for everyone. At the least I would recommend temping and using OPK's for a couple of months to get a better idea how soon after a positive OPK you actually ovulate. 

I'm happy to answer any questions that you have as well. Good luck!

Twochickshavinachick

Hi and welcome :-h

The gals here are a lovely supportive bunch and you're in good company.

When we were trying, A and I weren't actually sure if I was genuinely ovulating each month due to the PCO (but we had the benefit of a very accommodating known donor so tried most months anyway)  We didn't use bbt, as that really just indicates if you've ovulated and not when (not helpful if you're having to order in) The most reliable predictor we used was cervical mucus.  Remember that 1) Wet mucus (whilst not as fertile as egg-white) is still fertile and since it often precedes ewcm, is a good heads up for the main event. 2) Once safely on board, fresh sperm can live for up to five days in ideal conditions waiting for the egg to drop and frozen - I think gets 2-3 days if it's unwashed (you'll have to double check me on that) - all the time in the world!

Good luck!

mallory4284

@redrockmama‌ Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll have to check it out!

@Twochickshavinachick‌ thanks for the info! It was helpful!

I tend to agree with the BBT being somewhat useless when you have to order sperm. Considering it's going to give me pretty much no notice. And I have a friend that has gone through this and she didn't temp and just went based on her CM. And had I known about that earlier in my cycle I def would have done the ICI earlier, because I think by the time we did it, my CM was pretty nonexistent. Refresh my memory though, is it the 1st day of EWCM that means ovulation is imminent? When's the best timing based on that? The same day you notice it or after? I read that unwashed sperm lasts up to 72 hours. So next time I plan on having at least two vials delivered around CD14 and then doing it two days in a row. Just for insurance lol

Twochickshavinachick

Not sure if we're talking about the same book as @redrockmama but we used Rachel Pepper's 'Ultimate guide to pregnancy for lesbians,' which has a wealth of information on pre-conception, a friendly, inviting tone with lots of anecdotes and serves as a guide right up to newborn. We also used Stonewall's 'Pregnant Pause' which can be downloaded from their homepage.

Cycles differ from woman to woman - that's why the first thing we recommend to friends ttc is to become an expert in your own cycle.  Ovulation is most likely to be happening from the day you get ewcm (think of it as your body rolling out the red carpet)  As for timing, we must have read thousands of articles on the subject and found no definitive answer.  We've read of people who prefer to insem the day all the stars align (cervix position, ewcm, temp, spit ferning....) but I personally think waiting for everything to be perfect could be wasting precious hours.

We insem'd within a few hours of first ewcm each time basing our decision on the fact that it was a sperm friendly environment and the swimmers could afford to wait for the egg even if it was still a couple days away.  If our donor was available, then we'd do a follow up the next day.

Hope this is helpful.