Unemployed and TTC! *lost*

stokesm21

So, I know this is a personal decision but I need to get sh!t off my chest.  I have re-written this post a thousand times trying to get everything in it without it being too long so ... long story short.  I graduated college in 2010 and the bills were piling up, I needed a job so I got one as a cashier in retail.  4 years later and I was working in HR.  For the first time I was truly happy.  Happy with life, happy with my job, just happy.  I was convinced that all those other interviews didn't work out because this was where I was supposed to end up, where I was supposed to be.  DH and I both had good jobs and were focusing on paying off my student loan & car and saving for a down payment for a house.  It felt like life was finally beginning for us.  I didn't want to have kids quite yet ... or I thought I didn't till something at work really made me think about the next X amount of years of my life and so DH and I made a plan to start TTC this September. 

Then out of no where I was terminated from my job.  Completely blindsided is putting it lightly.  It was as if a tsunami rammed right into my life and took everything with it.  A month later and I am still sitting here trying to figure out WTH happened!  Regardless, I am stuck on what to do next.  My job was not something I had ever pictured for myself.  I enjoyed it and was happy doing it but it's not what I wanted to do with my life.  Everyone keeps telling me this was a "blessing in disguise" and that now I can do what I want which I am just soooo sick and tired of hearing.  I thought life was starting for me and now here I am, back at square one with the past 4 years of my life just ... ugh.  Needless to say we have continued to discuss TTC.  DH is all for it.  He's all, "screw it, now is the perfect time let's just go for it."  But the money scares the crap out of me not to mention I don't have that house that I so badly wanted.  

Nothing has become "clear" to me yet, as in which way to go.  I am a Christian so naturally I am seeking answers and have yet to find them.  Do I pursue my passion (Event Management)?  Do I pursue what I took in school (SSW - Social Services)? Do I go ahead and start TTC?  Where is it that I am supposed to be?  What am I supposed to be doing with my life?  Normally, I would just think,  "Well if I am meant to have a baby then it will just happen!" but I have been on BC for 10 years so I would have to make a conscious decision to go off my pills. Part of me, okay, most of me really wants to have a baby.  However, I don't want to be unemployed for the next 9 months either.  Could we survive on DH's income alone?  Can we even afford to have a baby? And how long would it take me now to buy a house with the added cost of a baby in the mix?  I am so confused.  I received a substantial lump sum of money from my employment (profit sharing) that I can use to pay off my car and student loan thus eliminating all debt in our lives.  But even with the money I don't know what to do.  Do I pay those off?  Do I save it for a down payment? Do I keep it for baby's first year to help us out?  What do I do?   

Can you tell I am beyond lost?  I guess I'm just looking for some advice and support.  
(FYI: I live in Canada)             

stokesm21

26 - I have been with DH for 10 years, married for 3.    
I am still young, I know, and I have a lot of time to figure life out.  
     

painttheair14

Babies can be expensive, but they don't have to be (as long as you have decent insurance).

ETA: I don't know how insurance works in Canada.

I recommend sitting down and making a line by line list of your expenses and then compare that to your husband's income. That will at least give you a place to start.

P.S. I know how you feel about people telling you this is s blessing in disguise. That sounds really frustrating.

stokesm21

In Canada it doesn't cost you anything to have a baby (ie: hospital stay, labour & delivery is covered under OHIP)  My husband has 100% coverage from work for health, medical and dental expenses. We also have E.I in Canada which in short form pays you 55% of your earnings (granted you were working before baby was born) for up to 52 weeks after baby is born.  (Complicated to explain but easy for parents to qualify for, unless you are unemployed like me)

If I took the $ and paid off my debts we would be able to do it.  But having a baby to care for would put the house on the back-burner for a substantial period of time.  Having a house first is very important to me (personally!)  Which basically answers my own question.  However, I am still feeling very "all over the place" about the whole situation.   

stokesm21

Darbie914 said:

Joy2611 said:

stokesm21 said:

26 - I have been with DH for 10 years, married for 3.    
I am still young, I know, and I have a lot of time to figure life out.  
     

Hmm... what a nice, little, in-between age you are there :-) 

I think I lean towards figuring out your life first.  But, I don't think that means that you must be in the new job and been there a year before trying to have a child or anything.  I think you just need some goals. 

What kind of job do you want?  Where do you see yourself working in three years?  Five years?  Lay out a plan for yourself and make sure that for you - yourself - the woman that you are - knows what she wants to do and understands how to get there.  Then consider how to get there if you have a child in the near future. 

Note: If you see yourself staying home and raising your children in three years, then there's your answer!  The way forward becomes easy.  But, if you see yourself with a career, I really think you owe it to yourself to figure it out how to build that before you add a child. 

I agree with all of this.  Take some time to really figure out what you want your life to be.  If it's within your dream career, I would absolutely suggest you move forward on that - it will only be harder (not impossible) to obtain when you have a child to worry about.  

For me personally, I would not TTC unless I knew for sure that a) we would financially be ok on one income or b) there was a solid plan in place as to what I would do to get a new job/pursue a new career or take action to be a SAHM.  You have to remember that being a one-income household affects more than just being able to pay your monthly bills.  It's putting away money for retirement/savings, college funds for kids, emergency funds if car breaks down, future vacations, lifestyle changes, and insurance coverage.

Perspective is key and I agree with everything said here. My goals are ... 

1)  House - And in order to have a house I need a new job.  
2)  New job - This is where I am equally lost.  Do I pursue my passion or my field? 

3)  Baby 

I 100% agree that being able to afford life is more than paying the bills.  I am stupid to think that I would be able to live anything but that with a baby in the mix.  I am just getting ahead of myself.  I am a 26 year old wanting to be 35.             

stokesm21

Joy2611 said: You need career goals in addition to life goals.

Take some time to research different fields.  See what kind of degrees are needed.  Think far and wide about what you can do with your life. 

My advice really is - if you don't take the time to think about these things and instead just take a job that will get you a house as soon as possible, your future self might hate the half-ass and not well thought out life decisions you made then for a momentary gratification.  You owe it to yourself to figure out a career that will make you happy for life. 

Homes and babies should come second to this.

I agree with this too.  People keep asking me if I've "found anything" yet and the fact of the matter is I haven't really been looking.  I've discussed with those close to me, and my husband, that I don't just want any job anymore.  I am done with spending 4 years on places and positions I don't see myself in.  I need to figure out where I want to be and what I want to do. Event Management would make me happy for life ... and eventually combining it with my passion to help others would be the icing on the cake.  (Ex: Managing events and fundraisers for not-for-profit organizations)  

That is what I want.  Along with a house and a baby haha!  But you're right, I need to figure out the career first. *sigh*  #firstworldproblems  

(Edit: Post showing up funny ... )  
     

stokesm21

I am so lost on how quotes and replies work!  

Does my field require school?  Tough question.  There are programs out there, yes.  Will they get me a job?  Well, I'm not sure.  I went through that 4 years ago.  Spent all this time on money and school and it got me no where except in debt.  Jobs in my field were few and far between so I just had to get any job to pay the bills and here I am 4 years later.  

There is a program I have been looking at but it's hard to say.  I've done research to see if an education is absolutely needed in this field and have not found a definitive answer.  However I feel that experience would far outweigh education.  

I have been looking for internships and have found a website that lists volunteer opportunities.  I have also compiled a list of all the venues in my area and have been working on a cover letter and resume to send out to them.  Cold "calling" is better than sitting on my butt doing nothing.  I have also been networking as I have a friend that is a photographer, another that works in a spa which hosts weddings occasionally etc. etc.             

michelehoney13

<< is advice from this 26 year old valid? I'm not sure lol but here's my input...

While I agree it's important to "figure yourself out", please, please, please be cautious about pursuing more education you have borrow to fund. I work in higher ed. I'm not sure how it is in Canada but here it's no secret investing in education does not have the same pay-off it once did. I think it's very wise to network with people that have similar interests, you can learn a lot about yourself. It might even give you the confidence to start something small on your own, whether it be selling a product or service. I'm a big supporter of internships too, working for free is valuable for every party involved. 

If the job you see yourself doing requires additional college (hopefully for a specialized license) make sure you do a lot of research. Sit down with a career counselor or advisor and request "Right to Know" information so you know the percentage of students who obtained employment from the last graduating class. I just think it's important to be very tactful when looking at education (again) because we are in a time where wages (especially for women, but that's another story) do not match cost of living. I don't know anyone who would purposely bring a child into a financially stressed/unstable household. Best of luck!

stokesm21

michelehoney13 said:

<< is advice from this 26 year old valid? I'm not sure lol but here's my input...

While I agree it's important to "figure yourself out", please, please, please be cautious about pursuing more education you have borrow to fund. I work in higher ed. I'm not sure how it is in Canada but here it's no secret investing in education does not have the same pay-off it once did. I think it's very wise to network with people that have similar interests, you can learn a lot about yourself. It might even give you the confidence to start something small on your own, whether it be selling a product or service. I'm a big supporter of internships too, working for free is valuable for every party involved. 

If the job you see yourself doing requires additional college (hopefully for a specialized license) make sure you do a lot of research. Sit down with a career counselor or advisor and request "Right to Know" information so you know the percentage of students who obtained employment from the last graduating class. I just think it's important to be very tactful when looking at education (again) because we are in a time where wages (especially for women, but that's another story) do not match cost of living. I don't know anyone who would purposely bring a child into a financially stressed/unstable household. Best of luck!

You are right.  Everyone says that you need an education these days but on the other hand probably 80% of graduates I know do not work in their field.  My husband never even graduated high school (shame on him! lol) and is making more money than most people I know.  Sad, when I am paying off thousands (although not nearly as much as any American) in student debt.  And where did that education get me?  No where.  Employers in my field want people with Bachelor's. 

No, I can't afford school at this point in time and in all honesty, I wouldn't go back.  Well not quite. There is a course I can take which is substantially less than going back to college and would teach me just as much information without the hefty price tag.  Yes, there are jobs in Event Management I have seen that "require" you to have a diploma however I don't know one employer that wouldn't hire a candidate who had solid experience just because they didn't have an education.  There are just some things that school can't teach ... like creativity.  However, the jury is still out and I'm still doing my research on the expectations in this field. 

That all said, I would never bring a child into an unstable home financially or otherwise.  I have a SS who has 3 siblings that (I'm sorry to say) BM cannot afford and I would never do that to my children. They get along "just fine" but never go anywhere or do anything and I don't want to do that to my kids.  EPIPHANY!  :O

I just want it so badly and need it hammered into my head all the reasons why now is not the right time.  And with all that said ... I am sitting here with those 2 cheques that I mentioned in my OP and I know the right thing is to pay off my car and my student loan.  I am never going to get ahead with them lingering over me.  One step closer to being debt free (still have DH's car to pay off) and more money in the bank for all those things like houses, babies, trips and retirement!  :P       

sandraanddrew

Whatever your decision is you need to remember that for EI you need 600 hrs of work in the 52 weeks leading up to your mat leave. For what it's worth I'm in Canada with an SSW and BAchelor honours. Jobs are nearly impossible to find in this field. You need to consider that.
I would love to go back to school but with 2 kids, it's impossible. You still have a chance to do that.

stokesm21

sandraanddrew said:

Whatever your decision is you need to remember that for EI you need 600 hrs of work in the 52 weeks leading up to your mat leave. For what it's worth I'm in Canada with an SSW and BAchelor honours. Jobs are nearly impossible to find in this field. You need to consider that.
I would love to go back to school but with 2 kids, it's impossible. You still have a chance to do that.

Oh yeah I know all about the EI requirements which would have been another stumbling block. Who hires a pregnant chick? We can all argue that it's illegal not to, because it is, but they could always use another reason. I have an SSW as well but am not interested in pursuing my BSW.

cozybluebear

It will never be the perfect time... you'll never have a big enough house, enough money, free time, etc. If you keep waiting for things to be perfect, you'll never have kids. Things will always work out. When I had my first baby, I just could not leave him to go back to work... it was so hard. At that time, my husband and I decided I'd stay home. It cut our income in half but we made it work. Just don't let these things hold you back of you really want a family.

tbarker14

Hi, I'm in Canada as well... I would take the money and put it towards the debts/student loans.
Its best to pay those off then having the debts carry on and paying interest on them.
My DH and I are expecting our first baby in September. We waited until our debts are paid fully. While we still have some student loan payments to make we are also able to save up.
Having a kid is expensive but people manage to do it. It does help when you don't have the debts hanging over you.
Having a house would be ideal... it's not like you would never get one. it depends on where you live.. ie, vancouver or Toronto would be really expensive. Other places not as bad.
Renting is not too bad you can find a decent places to live while saving up for a house.
I'm only 29 my DH is in his 30's.... but we waited until it was a right time for us... we also had to deal with money issues such as paying off a debt here and there. Which we were able to do so.
And we started trying only when both of us was comfortable with starting.
This is something you both should sit down and discuss a "game plan" and see where you both are mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationship wise and make a decision together.
But my 2 cents would be to take the money and pay the loans/debts first rather than putting it into savings and still have to make monthly payments to those debts/loans.
Good luck with your decision.

LynPenny85

It sounds like you are already starting to make some decisions, and aren't so lost after all, and that's awesome! 

As far as the money that you have... Unless you guys are finically savvy enough to invest it and make percentages each month that exceed the interest you are being charged on the loans, you should pay off the loans. The money you've been putting towards those each month can start to be saved for a house, or college fund for your kids, etc... 

It seems like you really want to be a home owner before being a mom, and just wish both could happen now. IMO, you should work toward getting a house before TTC. It just seems, based on what you have said, that you would be much more confident in your decision to have a baby if you felt finically secure with a more permanent residence.

The career choice thing, I can speak on from experience. Follow your gut. I think, from what you've said, that you really want to do event planning. I'm two graduate degrees in now and much happier on my newest  path, however, my dreams of being an illustrator still gnaw at me. I kick myself every day for not doing what I wanted from the beginning but I don't have a time machine. Trust me, you don't want to ignore your dreams, they don't go away. You do have to be realistic about your dreams, though. Like PP have said, do your research, network, volunteer, etc... Seriously, don't waste your money on another degree. If you love event planning, it's experience, charm, and talent that will help you succeed.

You still have so much time to have a baby! I'm also super jealous of the amount of paid maternity leave you can potentially get in Canada, so please get a job and take advantage of that, lol! 

Best of luck with everything!!! 

Wine&Cupcakes

Figure it out. I changed careers and went back to school at 25 and I'm so happy to have gotten that out of the way.

We are TTC #1 now at the same time as my returning to school part-time for my masters, purchasing a home and continuing to bulk up our emergency fund/pay of credit card debt before a baby arrives. This is also coming at the same time as paying for school and dropping a shift at work because of school. Point is, having a plan A & B, thinking of all scenarios, and financial security are key no matter what. I think it's good you are thinking about this.

usernewname

It it illegal to ask you at an interview if you are pg or if your planning a family. You need that 600 hours to qualify for EI. Not 596. 600. You can get denied over 4 hours. I worked from September to April full time and that banked me 1200. So 600 is quite easy to get but set yourself up for more than just achieving the minimum in case (eg.sickness bed rest termination etc).

Should you wait also depends on where you live in Canada since.you want a house. Many major cities are expensive to buy a house in (esp. Toronto Vancouver Ottawa Calgary etc). So that would eat away at dh income quicky.

Also. Make a budget of income before having and after having a baby and match that to your expenses. You can see how much you'll save before and how much ia left over when your income drops to EI.

You have time. I know that's hard to hear. But if you need that EI to live off of then you need a job. Even something small as it's only 600 hours and that's if you get pregnant quickly. You might have to work at some place you don't like to ensure the hours if it takes time to conceive.

stokesm21

You guys have all been so supportive and helpful.  I very much agree with @cozybluebear ... my husband and I have always operated on the "things will work out in the end." (Case in point; I lost my job and DH got a raise. Does it make up for the income I lost?  Certainly not, but it helps.)  It sounds crazy but we have had so many curve balls thrown at us in life (as I'm sure everyone has. No one's life is easy these days!) and we have managed to pull through every.single.time.  We always joke to people that we never actually make *plans* to do anything because when we do, something always goes wrong in the end so we do a lot of stuff on a whim.  Obviously, I would not want to do that when it comes to having children however but it is very much the way our lives have worked. And we still manage to be very optimistic people.    

As for what @Ghostmonkey said, I apologize but you must be a glass-half-empty kind of person which I certainly am not.  More often than not, things have worked out for DH and I because we do what we have to do to get by and we make sacrifices when we need to.  (Don't confuse this with us having to sacrifice all the time because that is rarely the case.) However, I do agree that you have to plan for contingencies and wouldn't want a budget that doesn't allow for the "what-if's."  And I am certainly not naive enough to think that my healthcare is "free." Yes, we pay a lot of taxes but I also have peace of mind knowing that I don't need to worry about how I am going to pay that hospital bill when I have a newborn to care for.  In the end, I don't believe in said "fairy tale," but I also don't just sit around waiting for the other shoe to drop either.  

That all said, I spoke with DH the other night about the money and we have made the decision to pay my car off and then whatever is left will go to my student loan.  (My car payments are more $ per month and I owe more on it than I do my loan.)  With the car being paid off that leaves more money in my budget to make higher payments on my student loan. (This will take me 6 months to pay off)  Then after that it's all savings and hopefully I get a job soon.       

I do really care about having a house first before having a baby so that alone makes me want to wait.  It's almost a "won't compromise" kind of thing.  And even then, I would have to make sure that we could afford that house if I were to have a baby and our income was lessened.  As for school, I'm done.  I have actually been to college twice and all I have to show for it is a diploma that got me no where and thousands in debt that has taken me way too long to pay off.  I am very passionate about Event Planning/Management so I am going to go for it full force and see what happens.  Like I said before, I'm a Christian and regardless of anyone else's beliefs in that matter I firmly believe if that is not where God wants me to be then He will let me know.  And yes, financial security is key and I'm going to focus on working on that.  

I think I knew all this all along.  I was just (and still am) a little lost and confused and needed people to talk to who don't know me personally.  Other people's perspective always help you look at every side of a situation.  I need to get this "timeline" out of my head and just let things happen.                          

stokesm21

*sigh*  

I hate being an adult sometimes. 

The baby fever has not slowed.

However ... 

I am reading all these discussions about people who are TTC at a young age and I see other people posting about how there is no going back from baby.  It reminds me how much I truly love to be around DH and how I would *so* miss it just being us.  I don't want to share him just yet! lol
(Because hey, as if the first 10 years weren't long enough!)      

theholmanherd

tbarker14 said:

Hi, I'm in Canada as well... I would take the money and put it towards the debts/student loans. Its best to pay those off then having the debts carry on and paying interest on them. My DH and I are expecting our first baby in September. We waited until our debts are paid fully. While we still have some student loan payments to make we are also able to save up. Having a kid is expensive but people manage to do it. It does help when you don't have the debts hanging over you. Having a house would be ideal... it's not like you would never get one. it depends on where you live.. ie, vancouver or Toronto would be really expensive. Other places not as bad. Renting is not too bad you can find a decent places to live while saving up for a house. I'm only 29 my DH is in his 30's.... but we waited until it was a right time for us... we also had to deal with money issues such as paying off a debt here and there. Which we were able to do so. And we started trying only when both of us was comfortable with starting. This is something you both should sit down and discuss a "game plan" and see where you both are mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationship wise and make a decision together. But my 2 cents would be to take the money and pay the loans/debts first rather than putting it into savings and still have to make monthly payments to those debts/loans. Good luck with your decision.

THIS. I am not in Canada, but I am also 26. We paid all out debt off over a year ago and then started trying. We made sure we both had stable jobs and a living situation that would accommodate a baby (e.i. renting a 2 bedroom while we save for a house). You don't NEED a house to have a baby, but you *do* need a big enough income to cover your expenses plus the baby AND you need insurance. Being debt free and not racking up interest helps a lot on the money front. That's a big payment you don't need to worry about anymore, so your income doesn't need to be as high as before. I say that because now is the perfect time to get an entry level position in a field you love (because you don't need to make as much money without all your debt, plus you don't have a big mortgage to deal with, and currently you don't have kids - perfect time to take a chance on your career!). I'm a lurker on this board, but I saw this and figured it might help. Best of luck. I hope you get things figured out.

stokesm21

theholmanherd said:

tbarker14 said:

Hi, I'm in Canada as well... I would take the money and put it towards the debts/student loans. Its best to pay those off then having the debts carry on and paying interest on them. My DH and I are expecting our first baby in September. We waited until our debts are paid fully. While we still have some student loan payments to make we are also able to save up. Having a kid is expensive but people manage to do it. It does help when you don't have the debts hanging over you. Having a house would be ideal... it's not like you would never get one. it depends on where you live.. ie, vancouver or Toronto would be really expensive. Other places not as bad. Renting is not too bad you can find a decent places to live while saving up for a house. I'm only 29 my DH is in his 30's.... but we waited until it was a right time for us... we also had to deal with money issues such as paying off a debt here and there. Which we were able to do so. And we started trying only when both of us was comfortable with starting. This is something you both should sit down and discuss a "game plan" and see where you both are mentally, physically, emotionally, and relationship wise and make a decision together. But my 2 cents would be to take the money and pay the loans/debts first rather than putting it into savings and still have to make monthly payments to those debts/loans. Good luck with your decision.

THIS. I am not in Canada, but I am also 26. We paid all out debt off over a year ago and then started trying. We made sure we both had stable jobs and a living situation that would accommodate a baby (e.i. renting a 2 bedroom while we save for a house). You don't NEED a house to have a baby, but you *do* need a big enough income to cover your expenses plus the baby AND you need insurance. Being debt free and not racking up interest helps a lot on the money front. That's a big payment you don't need to worry about anymore, so your income doesn't need to be as high as before. I say that because now is the perfect time to get an entry level position in a field you love (because you don't need to make as much money without all your debt, plus you don't have a big mortgage to deal with, and currently you don't have kids - perfect time to take a chance on your career!). I'm a lurker on this board, but I saw this and figured it might help. Best of luck. I hope you get things figured out.

Thanks for all your kind words and advice!   

I am paying off my car loan next week (waiting for the cheques to clear!) YAY!  I chose it over my SL because the payment is more per month.  That and it will leave that much more room in the budget (even with me unemployed) to pay down my student loan.  If we can keep on track, I will have the SL paid off in 6 months.  (There will be money left over after paying off my car that will be going towards my SL.)

As for insurance, my husband has (will have) 100% medical, dental and vision plus life insurance for himself and me so we are completely covered on that end.  We are in a transition period right now where my benefits have ended and his haven't quite started yet (3 month waiting period, his will start in August) and it sucks paying full cost for things haha!  He has a very stable job and is in a demanding trade so I don't worry about that too much.  (Hey, we know shit happens.  Back in 2010 I was in college, unemployed, and DH was the sole provider.  He ended up having a stroke which resulted in subsequent surgery and was off work for 2 months.  Thank God I had my student loan or else IDK what we would have done!)   

I am going to go full tilt for a career in Event Planning & Management.  I am really passionate about it and it's one of those jobs where I really don't care about making tons of money because it would make me happy.  It's also a field I could work in when we start TTC and even here and there when we do have a baby. (In a dream world right!)  Hopefully one day I can work for myself but for now I just need to get experience.  This is a good time to do it as well because I will probably have to work a lot of weekends.

As for the house, it's pretty important to me.  I am sick of paying other people's mortgages.  I want something of my own, something I can do what I want with.  Currently we are okay though.  We live in a house owned by my IL's and pay cheap rent (because let's face it, the house is cheap itself, old, and falling apart haha!)  They want to re-build on the property next summer and we are okay with that because we want a house by then.  But, if things don't work out then they will let us stay longer of course.  We do not live in Toronto or Vancouver, thank God, so small houses do not cost is upwards of $400,000!  It was hard for me to not save all this money for a DP but that little voice in the back of my head kept telling me to get rid of the debts I already have before taking on something as big as a mortgage!     

           

ASmallWonder

I skimmed so I apologize if someone already said this. Not that you're pressed for time for a baby right now but do remember that the time frame for having one is finite. A house can be purchased at any time in your life. We had our first before a house because no matter what, I needed to know I could afford the baby I wanted and could take time to work toward the house.

myatala

One upside to renting is you have more flexibility about relocating if a great opportunity comes your family's way that would require moving. Plus home ownership comes with its own burdens -- you're responsible for all your repairs and maintenance, which can add up if anything goes awry. There's nothing wrong with waiting and accomplishing other goals while saving up for a house.

MoseyAnkles

You seriously owe it to yourself to look into Infinite Banking (you can google it). A licensed broker will be able to sit down with you and look into your finances (and having kids will actually MAKE you money...not that that's why you want them). They can show you how you can own a home and not pay interest to a mortgage lender, so you will save thousands and other cool tricks. A REAL broker will also get to know you and if you want they'll take many months planning your strategy before any action is taken.

stokesm21

I don't think anyone quite understands how important a house is to me LOL  My husband and I aren't moving anywhere any time soon.  DH's son is 10 whom we live 5 minutes from, I am a home-body and all my family is here or within a 2 hour radius.  DH has a stable, good paying job.  

I understand all the costs associated with home ownership.  It's not like I think it's "just a house." It's property taxes and insurance, general upkeep, it's having money saved in case something bad were to happen (new roof, windows, septic, furnace etc.)  But I would own it and I can do what I want with it and to me, it's an investment.  

This is something that we BOTH want and that is important to us.  I finally got around to paying my car off yesterday and it was an amazing feeling.  So now we begin putting money in the bank for savings, e-fund, house etc.  If all goes well, we are aiming for next spring/summer.  If my land sells then we will be able to move faster (although I am not counting on that.  It's hard to sell property.) 

@MoseyAnkles  Funny that you mention that.  I went looking at houses with my Mom yesterday (for my parents, not me haha!) and her agent told me she has a really good broker.  She said even if I'm a year or 2 out from buying a house it would be good to have a sit down because the broker will tell me what I need to do to get there and get me on the right track.  So I think I'm going to look into that.       

Tally879

stokesm21 said:

In Canada it doesn't cost you anything to have a baby (ie: hospital stay, labour & delivery is covered under OHIP)  My husband has 100% coverage from work for health, medical and dental expenses. We also have E.I in Canada which in short form pays you 55% of your earnings (granted you were working before baby was born) for up to 52 weeks after baby is born.  (Complicated to explain but easy for parents to qualify for, unless you are unemployed like me)

If I took the $ and paid off my debts we would be able to do it.  But having a baby to care for would put the house on the back-burner for a substantial period of time.  Having a house first is very important to me (personally!)  Which basically answers my own question.  However, I am still feeling very "all over the place" about the whole situation.   

For the maternity leave alone I would find a job first, even if it's not your dream job.  52 weeks off with pay is incredible.  We tried for LO before we were truly ready thinking that it would take some time to get pregnant, and we got pregnant right away.  We were in an apartment for awhile with LO and that really isn't that big of a deal.  Newborns are little they don't need much room and will most likely sleep in your room for awhile anyways.  

lgsdesigner

1) Pay off your student loan/car debt. VERY important to get yourself in a good financial spot first and foremost.

2) Go ahead and get off birth control to get your body ready to reproduce, but make sure you use condoms every time.

3) Get a job first. You don't want to be pregnant and job search (been there done that) because you are judged harshly. Even if you are qualified for a job, you may not get it based on them seeing your baby belly. At 26, you have time. 

GL!