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Why Even Ask? VENT!

suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member
in Blended Families

So here's what happens this morning (side note: BM gets SS Friday evening - Sunday Evening and REFUSES to ever deviate from this schedule if we ask to adjust to be able to do something with SS):

FI: "SS's mom wants to get him on Thursday so they could go to a wedding on Friday, what do you think?"

Me: "No." (and he knows I said this because if she refuses to give up time with SS for us to be able to go on vacation or do anything then I don't believe we should be giving up our time with him for her!)

FI: Silence.

Ten minutes later SS comes into the room:

FI: "Friday is water park day at daycare, but your Mom wants to pick you up on Thursday. Are you ok with missing Water Park Day to go to a wedding?"

SS: "Yeah, but Mom said we are going camping for two days NOT going to a wedding."

FI: "Ok."

Me: Staring wide eyed in disbelief at FI.

 

WHY DOES HE EVEN ASK ME THESE THINGS? I love my FI to death, but he is the biggest push over and will bend to any whim BM has when it comes to SS. So frustrating.

Thanks for letting me vent, ladies. :)

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Re: Why Even Ask? VENT!

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    freeatlast2014freeatlast2014 member
    Annoying on so many levels. Mostly your SS already knew?!?! And it was a lie?!? Ugh
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    suburbanstepmomsuburbanstepmom member

    @freeatlast2014 Yep! The baby mama drama never ends. The last gem we got (prior to this) was SS coming home from BM and saying

    "Mama says she's moving to Seattle and I can come stay with her through the summer and stay with you guys during the winter."

    AND SHE HAD NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE ELSE ABOUT THIS. Poor kid... she's jerking him around like crazy.

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    Mkherren12Mkherren12 member
    I think we have had these same conversations at our house but in reverse. I'm the custodial parent and Dh is sd. It's tough. I know my Dh would wish I would stand my ground more with xh in regards to dd but in the end it's a relationship I want my dd to have. And if her dad asks for more time and we don't have anything going on I'm probably going to give it. But then again I come from a divorced home so my perspectiveight be different. Hugs! This will pass :-)
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    KTdiditKTdidit member

    I would have a serious talk with your DH about this. BM cannot expect to get favors from you guys if she gives no favors in return. On the flip side, your DH seems to just be a pushover and you may just have to disengage totally. If he isn't going to stand up to BM she will continue to walk all over him and it's totally his decision to let her. DH and I had a similar situation to yours, except I was the one letting BD walk all over me. DH would tell me the same things - stand up to him, don't let him take advantage, he keeps demanding more and more but never gives in return - and I wouldn't listen. So he told me he was done. I had to make the decision myself to stop being a doormat. Your DH does too.

    BabyFetus Ticker


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