A note for MoMs to be

LittleLady77

This forum and a few MoMs I know IRL helped me tremendously and I thought I should pass on some of the good advice I got and some of this mistakes I made. Obviously every baby/parent/family/situation is different so what worked for me might now work for you but I hope some of this stuff helps!

The best advice I got:

- The first 6 weeks are just surviving, it gets easier after that. Do whatever you can to get through. Accept any help you are offered. 

- Work on creating good sleepers right away.  Personally I like the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy twins".  You should be able to:

* by 6 weeks have a night time routine to help put them down for the night (mine is bath, bottle, swaddle then bed)

* by 2 months you want to be able to set them down sleepy but awake so they learn to self sooth

* apparently by 16 weeks they will develop a nap schedule, usually at 9am, 1pm and 5pm.  I'm not there yet but so far all the other sleep advice has held true. 

- Prepare early.  I had the nursery and all the baby prep stuff done by 28 weeks.  I had a complication-free pregnancy and I'm still so glad I did this! 

Mistakes I made:

- Get light car seats! I don't know what I was thinking on this one.  

- I really wish we would have taken some sort of babymoon!! I didn't want to spend money or use time off but in reality the best tool you can have is a strong partnership.  I really wish I would have prioritized time with hubby. 

- Get a twin mom support group set up early.  Meet other twin moms so you have others who know what you're going through.  Parents of singeltons just don't know some of the problems we face and it's very nice to know other twin moms. 

- Don't make grand plans for your mat leave.  I'm not talking about trips and events- those plans are doable.  I'm talking about the plans like "I'm going to deep clean, scrapbook or do some other home project".  That stuff just isn't going to happen. If you want it done, do it before they come. 

- Read books about what happens AFTER the babies come while pregnant.  I read all about pregnancy while pregnant and then when they were born I was a little clueless. 

I hope this is helpful.  Good luck MoMs to be!

KatieGummow

FTMs:
-Ask for help! Even if you don't need it. Have someone come over and take one baby. Believe it or not having one baby IS a break...
-get out of the house. Take walks around the neighborhood. Take them to the store (pack bottles and/or pacifiers). You get tons of compliments which makes you feel better...
-BEFORE babies get here talk to SO about expectations, especially night time routine. I do all night feedings and he takes over from 5:30-8:30a while I sleep in the guest room.
-you.are.a.rockstar! Don't forget it.

LittleLady77

Haha... One baby is totally a break.

LittleLady77

Zip up footed PJs are the best

zazu13

Mentally prepare yourself for premature babies. Although delivering 7lb babies at 38 weeks happens for some, many women have complications, bedrest, c-sections, NICU time, problems BF, etc. it doesnt mean you won't raise happy, healthy babies, but you may not have the start you envision (med-free, home birth, skin-to-skin, etc.) It's just a different ball game with 2+ And it's OK! Don't let "mom guilt" or anyone else convince you otherwise. Be pleasantly surprised if you go full term with no complications & no NICU time. I hope you do!

macchiatto

That is good advice! I really liked HSHHC and HSHHT too.

lisalynnmama

Thank you!  This is such helpful advice!

zamboni00

Thank you for this.

shelly2314

Thank you guys!

Jules_Shamblin

This is great advice! Thanks and keep it coming... us FTMs really appreciate it!

Karissa764

This is awesome! I was just kind of freaking out thinking about how to juggle it all. Thanks ladies

Rynleigh

To the MoMs with younger LOs: 

Toddlerwear: Invest in full body suit sleepers and onesies for your upcoming toddlers... you don't just get to worry about ONE baby taking their diapers off... you get to worry about them taking them off of their brother/sister, too. 

Baby gates: Siblings can be used as stepping stools and extra velocity against any baby gate you think you might be impenetrable. Seriously, consider a dutch-door for your play room - it might save your sanity. 

Car seats: Have a wide array of soft squish toys ready and available for buckle-up time. Carrying those bulky seats is nothing compared to getting your team of angry 25 pounders to stop trying to escape the throws of their evil strappy restraints. 

Schedules: Yep. They have a schedule. Each one of their very own, customized specially to ensure you are never without a pint sized friend to follow around - even when one is napping!

Books: You will never remember half the crap you read in them. Put them down before baby A conquers Mt KitchenTable and drinks your fresh coffee while baby B stuffs the cat in the dishwasher. 

gahanna

Really helpful! Thank you! That book is next on my to-read list!

lynnyrd80

Rynleigh said:

To the MoMs with younger LOs: 

Toddlerwear: Invest in full body suit sleepers and onesies for your upcoming toddlers... you don't just get to worry about ONE baby taking their diapers off... you get to worry about them taking them off of their brother/sister, too. 

Baby gates: Siblings can be used as stepping stools and extra velocity against any baby gate you think you might be impenetrable. Seriously, consider a dutch-door for your play room - it might save your sanity. 

Car seats: Have a wide array of soft squish toys ready and available for buckle-up time. Carrying those bulky seats is nothing compared to getting your team of angry 25 pounders to stop trying to escape the throws of their evil strappy restraints. 

Schedules: Yep. They have a schedule. Each one of their very own, customized specially to ensure you are never without a pint sized friend to follow around - even when one is napping!

Books: You will never remember half the crap you read in them. Put them down before baby A conquers Mt KitchenTable and drinks your fresh coffee while baby B stuffs the cat in the dishwasher. 

This is the part I'm scared of - two toddlers.  Newborns stay where you put them.  Two year olds are always into something...

TREDgirl

Some things that really helped me-

-YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! Don't ever for one minute think you can't!

-Don't save the quiet one. Many parents will rush in to get the crying/fussy baby immediately but the other twin or older sibling will learn to get used to it and sleep through. 

-Take a shower every day. Put the babies in their cribs and go take a shower alone! No bouncy seats in the restroom with you. They are safe in their cribs. Yeah they may cry because they are unhappy but they are safe for those 10 minutes!

-We did one up both up and tried to stick to the eat, play, sleep schedule until they were old enough to have actual times for eating. I don't think I would have survived if I fed each on demand. 

-For above this may mean waking a sleeping baby! It's ok. 

-If you currently deal with anxiety or depression set up a post delivery appointment NOW  for the 1st or 2nd week you are home. My dr fills up quick and it would ahve been hard to get in and see her. That way your partner or other helper can either babysit or drive you to the apt. It helped me to just go in and talk with my dr and know that things will even out. Plus she adjusted my dosage for a few months. 

The #1 thing for me that helped make it through those early weeks was knowing we were never going to be having any more kids. We are never doing this again. The babies are never going to be this young. So I really tried to savor even the difficult times and realize it does level out and you fall into a rhythm. 

whitehousem

Swaddle tightly, put them in the swing, turn on the white noise LOUD.

Most of what I have read says 3/4 months for a nap routine, but I don't think it's ever to early to start. Just know that sometimes it will be a bit off. My 2yr old DD naps every day from 1-4pm. The twins usually eat around 1pm, so when they are done I swaddle, swing, white noise and they will sleep for hours while my DD naps. It's amazing! At night we are already putting them down awake at bedtime and they fall asleep on their own. They are 7 weeks.

Every day is a Marathon. Wake up prepared to run it...and then again the next day.

Some days are just survival and you just have to make it through. Do whatever you need to do. But try to enjoy the moments you can bc you will never have them again.

I like this saying: the days are long but the years are short...

dragontears507

I just bookmarked this so I can go back to it when I truly need a reminder. Thanks for the tips! They're certain to come in handy for this terrified FTM.

MrsC430

Thank you ladies! Very helpful I'll be 18 weeks tomorrow, and reality/nervousness is definitely setting in!

auntjessy

These are all totally true!    

@Rynleigh - I literally LOL'd.  

legaleagles

I promise, promise, promise you will get through this. I have/had PPD pretty badly. I almost walked out on my family a few times...just thinking everyone else could do this better than me. I would come back when the boys were a bit older and sleeping better. If you've had depression/anxiety before - get on the meds early - I should have done it before delivery. 

But I do promise it will get better. At 2 weeks I wrote a post on here asking when? Doubting I could do it...and I did it. We're only 3 months today, but we're doing it. I can't remember the last time I put on makeup, but we're doing it. 

It's okay not to get dressed, but at least put on clean underwear every day.

Find other MOMS and find them before hand. Lean on them. Find experienced MOMs and new MOMs. 

Accept any and all help that is offered and don't feel bad about it. At 3 months I still don't turn down offers for people to come hold a baby so I can shower, or nap, or offers to bring dinner over. I'll accept all offers until they stop. 

Get a housecleaner - even if it's only once/week. You deserve a clean shower, but shouldn't have to do it yourself. 

Be kind to yourself. This is hard freaking work...but you can do it. Cut yourself some slack - take care of you. 

legaleagles

Also, babywear. Get a moby for the early weeks then figure out what you like best. I love ring slings and almost always have one of the boys in a RS. keeps me hands free when I need it - like to fold laundry, do dishes, etc. when one baby is super fussy, not sleeping. whatever. I'm working on my tandem wearing skills now when both babes are fussy. 

FaeryStarGazer

I know this list is older but I'll add to it-- reach out to those of us who've BTDT. There are a lot of us with older kids now (in the 5+ age range) and we're glad to help out and talk about things like, kindergarten, before and after school care, losing teeth, the best consignment stores because OMG HOW ARE THEY STILL GROWING SO FAST... all kinds of good stuff. 

AandStilltrying

lynnyrd80 said:

Rynleigh said:

To the MoMs with younger LOs: 

Toddlerwear: Invest in full body suit sleepers and onesies for your upcoming toddlers... you don't just get to worry about ONE baby taking their diapers off... you get to worry about them taking them off of their brother/sister, too. 

Baby gates: Siblings can be used as stepping stools and extra velocity against any baby gate you think you might be impenetrable. Seriously, consider a dutch-door for your play room - it might save your sanity. 

Car seats: Have a wide array of soft squish toys ready and available for buckle-up time. Carrying those bulky seats is nothing compared to getting your team of angry 25 pounders to stop trying to escape the throws of their evil strappy restraints. 

Schedules: Yep. They have a schedule. Each one of their very own, customized specially to ensure you are never without a pint sized friend to follow around - even when one is napping!

Books: You will never remember half the crap you read in them. Put them down before baby A conquers Mt KitchenTable and drinks your fresh coffee while baby B stuffs the cat in the dishwasher. 

This is the part I'm scared of - two toddlers.  Newborns stay where you put them.  Two year olds
are always into something...

Seriously lol at cat and dishwasher! This will be my house!!! And dog will be on table eating cat food cause that's how it rolls in my house! Darn dog is a toddler!!!

prayingformiracles

Please keep these coming. I'm 13w6d with quads and I will take all the advice possible!

shelly2314

Thank you guys! I am 31 weeks tomorrow and really getting close and REALLY TERRIFIED!