Guard to Army/Blended Family

autumn1192

Hey everyone. I'm brand-new to the board, aside from lurking shamelessly for the past couple months. 

FI is seriously considering getting out of the Guard to go active duty after we're married. We've known each other since high school and I've always known that this is something he wants to do with his life, and I am trying to be as supportive as possible; however, I'm not sure how feasible this option is. 

I am divorced with 2 very small children. I understand that FI will (most likely) be stationed pretty far away from where we live now, unless he ends up being stationed at Ft. Campbell. While my kids' dad may not have been the best husband, he is an outstanding father and it would be unfair to keep him from his children for extended periods of time (FWIW, ex-H and I have already had this discussion and he said that whatever FI & me decide to do, he will do his best to make it work and make it as smooth a transition as possible for the kids). 

I'm pretty new to the military life, so I'm not even sure what our options would be at this point. Is it even remotely possible to make a blended family a military family when both parents are involved in the kids' lives? 

HisChamaoleGirl

Hi. My husband and I are both active duty Army and have one child together and he has one from a previous relationship. First things first you will need a custody agreement outlining that you are the custodial parent and their father will have visitation. I would consider outlining how transportation is going to be paid for  when there are visits. I saw this because there are times DH and I are stationed overseas and the price of a plane ticket is significantly more than if we were to live in the states.

DH has visitation of his son in the summers and every other Christmas to not disrupt his schooling. Sometimes due to training or deployments he is not able to take this visitation. To answer your question, yes it is possible to blend a family and have a military lifestyle, but it is challenging.

Honestly, if I were in your position I wouldn't even activate if it meant my family could stay together. It is a personal decision that only your family can make. I just know for us it isn't ideal and if we could change anything we would get stationed where SS is, but that hasn't been possible in the last 9 years.