asking about death

fitmom82

DD has been talking about dieing alot lately, including how she doesn't want to get old or die.  I try to answer her questions straight forward, but of course I don't know all the answers.  She found an old beach towel the other day and was very excited about it and said how she wants to take them with her when she dies.  I told her people could put them in her coffin for her, we had discussed coffins a week or so before.  A few days later she talked about how she can't take all of her things to heaven so she's just taking her beach towel, Loopsys, and bathing suits.  I said "oh so you're going swimming in heaven?"  She was very excited and said "yes, do they have a beach?"  I don't want her to fear death or aging, so I've probably talked up heaven a little bit, telling her she'll get to see all the people that died before her and they'll get to talk and see each other again.  I don't want her to fear death, but I also don't want her to think it's a vacation.  How do you handel questions like these?

LSU628

DD also is very preoccupied with death lately. She wants to know where all the cemeteries are located, she talks about how I would be sad if she had to go to heaven, but how God would know I was sad and send her back to me. She definitely doesn't get the finality of death, but she also thinks of heaven as a good place. Instead of answering my DD's questions about death or God, I like to ask her what she thinks. It's quite amazing to see how she has painted this really cool idea of who or what God is, even though we aren't super religious or go to church. For example- the other day she was asking me what God looks like. I turned it around and asked her what she thought. She replied that she thinks he looks like a doctor since he can make people better just like doctors do. It's pretty neat to hear her views, especially since we aren't overly religious or attend church on a regular basis.

heatherwhite1984

there are some children's books about death that you could read: nana upstairs, nana downstairs; thank you, grandpa; annie and the old one; always and forever; the invisible string; check your local library or search online, there are lots of great children's books. the most important part is to have discussions with the children. answering questions that they may have.

you could also do your own experiment/hands on discussion. follow an ant, talk about how it can eat, play, be with its family/friends. kill it (children often kill them anyways), then talk about the observation - can that ant play anymore, see its family, eat, etc. take the ant to bury it so that it can go to heaven. maybe visit an actual cemetery before you do this. when visiting cemeteries - either loved ones, or unknown people bring a flower and lay on the grave.