I think regardless of where we stand on the transgender/sexual identity debates, we sexualize children and that doesn't help anything. Asking them if they think a boy/girl is cute, puttin them in provocative clothing/swim suits and telling them the other sex will notice how cute they are, encouraging them to get a boyfriend or girlfriend... It's unnecessary and trains their minds to think of themselves as sexual objects well before they are ready to process the idea that they are sexual beings.
That said, if DD comes home one day from preschool or elementary school and tells me she has a bf, I'm going to tell her they can be friends, but not bf/gf. She's too young for that.
Wtf? Do people really do the things you mentioned that "sexualize" children?? I don't, I don't know anyone who does, and if I saw/heard someone doing it I would think it was crazy.
Maybe not a true UO but whatevs.
I think baths are better than showers. And not like oh I like baths sometimes. I prefer not to shower at all. Every day this week I took a bath in the morning instead, it's the bestest.
If I took baths in the morning, I would fall asleep there and drown...
I am going to throw a food one in here.....I know they can be frowned upon because there can be sooooooo many food UO's.....but....
I don't care for chocolate.
I prefer peanut butter over chocolate any day. I think chocolate pudding and ice cream are nasty. I will not eat a hot fudge sundae. I will occasionally eat a piece of chocolate cake, but I have to be craving it. Candy bars are good if they have more peanuts/peanut butter/caramel than chocolate.
omg Nooooooooo!!!!!! you can't be serious?!?!?! Chocolate is WAY better lol I love chocolate. It is my friend. But my sister would be with you. Even when she was very young she hated chocolate. She would cry if someone's birthday cake was anything but vanilla. I also refuse to buy peanut better or peanut butter products. I dislike it with a passion.
@krgriffin26 I love peanut butter! lol...peanut butter sundaes, peanut butter cups, peanut butter on a spoon, peanut butter fudge......I sound like Bubba Gump with the shrimp! )
Nov. '14 January Siggy : Work Sucks!
Me 32-DH 38
Married July 14, 2007 ----- TTC # 1 October 1, 2013 BFP March 7, 2014 ----- EDD November 17, 2014 ---- Baby boy born November 16, 2014
I also do believe children are born and know. My daughter was not dressed in pink and bows but she is extremely girlie. She always has been. My daughter with special needs, medically fragile, is cognitively that of a newborn, hates dresses. She freaks out when she has a dress on. She has no cognitive ability to understand a dress, but I believe it's just what she knows. You put some shorts on her and she's happy. She doesn't like bows in her hair. My youngest, will put 24688 bows in her hair for school.
But those things don't make them transgender or not. I was a tomboy and hated all things girle, but still identify as a straight female. I know a young man that loved to wear his sister's dresses and sparkly shoes when he was younger. Based on what I know and see now, several years later, he is a straight man.
I'm not saying that a 7 year old can't have feelings of not fitting in or being in the wrong body. I just think the likelihood of that child being able to articulate those feelings and interpret what it means in regards to gender is low. I'm guessing that most transgender people look back at their childhoods and always knew they were different, but didn't identify that difference until later.
I was using my daughters as an example to say that some children can be born girlie. Or masculine. Not specifically about transgender. Some people say we create these gender roles. I was saying I don't agree
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
My UO: Everyone is worried about bloat and gaining too much weight and I'm over here drinking Ensure's every day trying to gain weight because my doc said I have too. I've wanted this baby for over a year and I'd happily gain 100 pounds if they told me too. Bring on the bloat!
I'm technically underweight (non-pregnant BMI is 17.5). I had one doctor tell me to the gain at least 40 pounds while pregnant. I switched OB offices so I could deliver at the hospital I wanted to, there they were happy as long as my weight gain was steady. (Ended up gaining about 18 pounds.)
But yeah, I'm with you, I don't care how much I gain. It came off easily last time with breastfeeding. (Too easily even, I got down to a BMI of under 16 while breastfeeding DS. He was nice & chubby though!)
I wish it were that easy for me with bfing. It was disappointing to not lose any weight, but gain while bfing.
Well, my opinion, which may be a UO, is that how can you judge someone who is gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever for coming out with a particular gender identity at any age. I am straight and cisgendered, but I would never say, "Oh, that child can't possibly know they are gay/straight/female/male" whatever because, quite simply, I'm not that child. So I don't know. And I don't think it's right to judge. Agree or not, that's my opinion and it has changed over time in response to the relationships I've formed with non-straight, non-cisgendered people.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I'm super hormonal and recently I'm scared of dying and not raising my kid, seeing my husband, going back home to my dog, etc. Terrified. I'm perfectly healthy so idk what's wrong with my brain, but I cry.......a lot... over hypothetical situations that pop up in my head like this lol
Although I consider myself a pretty liberal person when it comes to LGBT issues- having several friends that identify as homosexual and/or transgender, I use the sex/gender term interchangeably with children and during pregnancy. I never really thought of it as even possibly offensive to some until reading past posts. A lot of things for DS were very gender neutral initially, but as he has aged, he has become interested in things that are pretty stereotypically male...trucks, pirates, superheroes, cars...so that makes up a majority of his toys and outfits. What can you do?
I can't really think of a good UO today, but I don't really care for Snickers or most chocolatey candy bars. I would rather have a pound of sour patch kids or sweedish fish.
I think regardless of where we stand on the transgender/sexual identity debates, we sexualize children and that doesn't help anything. Asking them if they think a boy/girl is cute, puttin them in provocative clothing/swim suits and telling them the other sex will notice how cute they are, encouraging them to get a boyfriend or girlfriend... It's unnecessary and trains their minds to think of themselves as sexual objects well before they are ready to process the idea that they are sexual beings.
That said, if DD comes home one day from preschool or elementary school and tells me she has a bf, I'm going to tell her they can be friends, but not bf/gf. She's too young for that.
Wtf? Do people really do the things you mentioned that "sexualize" children?? I don't, I don't know anyone who does, and if I saw/heard someone doing it I would think it was crazy.
I'm glad you don't, but people totally do. I taught preschool for a while, and worked with elementary school aged children for years before that, and I've totally heard it all. Of course, they aren't saying "be sexual" but I think all of it objectifies children and conveys that message. I remember as a child being told that when I grew up all the boys would think I was so cute. And that really impacted me.
If you want to see people who do this , because you're lucky you haven't yet (and I mean that honestly, no sass) just watch reality tv with children in it. You'll hear it.
I also do believe children are born and know. My daughter was not dressed in pink and bows but she is extremely girlie. She always has been. My daughter with special needs, medically fragile, is cognitively that of a newborn, hates dresses. She freaks out when she has a dress on. She has no cognitive ability to understand a dress, but I believe it's just what she knows. You put some shorts on her and she's happy. She doesn't like bows in her hair. My youngest, will put 24688 bows in her hair for school.
But those things don't make them transgender or not. I was a tomboy and hated all things girle, but still identify as a straight female. I know a young man that loved to wear his sister's dresses and sparkly shoes when he was younger. Based on what I know and see now, several years later, he is a straight man.
I'm not saying that a 7 year old can't have feelings of not fitting in or being in the wrong body. I just think the likelihood of that child being able to articulate those feelings and interpret what it means in regards to gender is low. I'm guessing that most transgender people look back at their childhoods and always knew they were different, but didn't identify that difference until later.
I was using my daughters as an example to say that some children can be born girlie. Or masculine. Not specifically about transgender. Some people say we create these gender roles. I was saying I don't agree
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I'm pretty sure all FTMs feel this way! I've given birth 3 times and I'm still nervous about doing it again lol. And for what it's worth, I've been induced 3 times with absolutely no complications- I've just never gone into labor on my own.
I also do believe children are born and know. My daughter was not dressed in pink and bows but she is extremely girlie. She always has been. My daughter with special needs, medically fragile, is cognitively that of a newborn, hates dresses. She freaks out when she has a dress on. She has no cognitive ability to understand a dress, but I believe it's just what she knows. You put some shorts on her and she's happy. She doesn't like bows in her hair. My youngest, will put 24688 bows in her hair for school.
But those things don't make them transgender or not. I was a tomboy and hated all things girle, but still identify as a straight female. I know a young man that loved to wear his sister's dresses and sparkly shoes when he was younger. Based on what I know and see now, several years later, he is a straight man.
I'm not saying that a 7 year old can't have feelings of not fitting in or being in the wrong body. I just think the likelihood of that child being able to articulate those feelings and interpret what it means in regards to gender is low. I'm guessing that most transgender people look back at their childhoods and always knew they were different, but didn't identify that difference until later.
I was using my daughters as an example to say that some children can be born girlie. Or masculine. Not specifically about transgender. Some people say we create these gender roles. I was saying I don't agree
Gotcha! And totally agree about gender roles.
-----------------------------
I'm Probably not making much sense. No sleep. And interrupted nap. Wah.
Well, my opinion, which may be a UO, is that how can you judge someone who is gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever for coming out with a particular gender identity at any age. I am straight and cisgendered, but I would never say, "Oh, that child can't possibly know they are gay/straight/female/male" whatever because, quite simply, I'm not that child. So I don't know. And I don't think it's right to judge. Agree or not, that's my opinion and it has changed over time in response to the relationships I've formed with non-straight, non-cisgendered people.
Edit, proofreading/words
Yeah, I still don't see identifying with a particular sexual orientation when you have no concept of sex or sexual desire.
I also don't see how saying that makes me judgemental. Same I way I don't think it's judgemental to say that my 5 year old niece that wants to marry her dad is unlikely to understand what marriage entails.
Well, my opinion, which may be a UO, is that how can you judge someone who is gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever for coming out with a particular gender identity at any age. I am straight and cisgendered, but I would never say, "Oh, that child can't possibly know they are gay/straight/female/male" whatever because, quite simply, I'm not that child. So I don't know. And I don't think it's right to judge. Agree or not, that's my opinion and it has changed over time in response to the relationships I've formed with non-straight, non-cisgendered people.
Edit, proofreading/words
Yeah, I still don't see identifying with a particular sexual orientation when you have no concept of sex or sexual desire.
I also don't see how saying that makes me judgemental. Same I way I don't think it's judgemental to say that my 5 year old niece that wants to marry her dad is unlikely to understand what marriage entails.
I do see your point about young children not fully understanding sex/sexuality. I'm not super familiar with the research on the development of sexuality so you could be right to some extent. I'm just not comfortable making that call for someone else. I do have friends who state they've known they were gay since they were very young. I think the real question here is, when does a child's awareness of their own sexuality begin?
ETA- Sorry if it came off that I was calling you judgmental; that's not what I meant at all! I think this is an interesting topic and just enjoy debating in general.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I'm super hormonal and recently I'm scared of dying and not raising my kid, seeing my husband, going back home to my dog, etc. Terrified. I'm perfectly healthy so idk what's wrong with my brain, but I cry.......a lot... over hypothetical situations that pop up in my head like this lol
8-} Insane.
We can be crazy friends together in this then. Scared hormonal ladies unite! :-bd
I think regardless of where we stand on the transgender/sexual identity debates, we sexualize children and that doesn't help anything. Asking them if they think a boy/girl is cute, puttin them in provocative clothing/swim suits and telling them the other sex will notice how cute they are, encouraging them to get a boyfriend or girlfriend... It's unnecessary and trains their minds to think of themselves as sexual objects well before they are ready to process the idea that they are sexual beings.
That said, if DD comes home one day from preschool or elementary school and tells me she has a bf, I'm going to tell her they can be friends, but not bf/gf. She's too young for that.
Wtf? Do people really do the things you mentioned that "sexualize" children?? I don't, I don't know anyone who does, and if I saw/heard someone doing it I would think it was crazy.
I'm glad you don't, but people totally do. I taught preschool for a while, and worked with elementary school aged children for years before that, and I've totally heard it all. Of course, they aren't saying "be sexual" but I think all of it objectifies children and conveys that message. I remember as a child being told that when I grew up all the boys would think I was so cute. And that really impacted me.
If you want to see people who do this , because you're lucky you haven't yet (and I mean that honestly, no sass) just watch reality tv with children in it. You'll hear it.
Reality tv, huh? I always look to reality tv to see what is considered "normal". :-SS
Seriously though, your experience from teaching makes me sad. I hope it's not the norm, but that it happens at all is crazy cakes.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I'm pretty sure all FTMs feel this way! I've given birth 3 times and I'm still nervous about doing it again lol. And for what it's worth, I've been induced 3 times with absolutely no complications- I've just never gone into labor on my own.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I have a non horror story birth that I can definitely share with you. Some go right and are beautiful.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I have a non horror story birth that I can definitely share with you. Some go right and are beautiful.
That's great to hear and definitely makes me feel better. Sometimes I think people are just purposely trying to freak me out because they are getting a reaction from me. Or maybe they are just slightly sadistic.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I am so with you on this! i have to make myself not think about the delivery aspect of my pregnancy because it gives me anxiety. i'm not an overly anxious person but im a wimp with pain and am really scared.
TW*** Child and loss mentioned Married 10/12 DS 11/14 Ectopic 2/16 PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16 IUI x 3- BFN Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos FET- 6/17- BFP! Due Feb 15, 2017
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I am so with you on this! i have to make myself not think about the delivery aspect of my pregnancy because it gives me anxiety. i'm not an overly anxious person but im a wimp with pain and am really scared.
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Childbirth is totally different than other pain, IMO. I do not handle pain well, I get anxious about finger pricks to get a few drops of blood. I had a natural birth with DS. All the hormones, endorphins, etc, that your body produces during labor really do make a difference.
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, it did hurt, but I remember telling people "that hurt" right afterwards more than I remember the actual pain. In fact, I actually can't remember what it felt like, even within just a couple days after birth, my brain apparently blocked it out.
So true! I think the brain does block out the memory of the pain of child labor, I was terrified of giving birth. I did also get the epidural but I was in active labor for 2 hours with contractions less than a minute apart. I found the weeks that followed, Breastfeeding and adjusting to having a new baby much harder than the actual labor itself!!!
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I am so with you on this! i have to make myself not think about the delivery aspect of my pregnancy because it gives me anxiety. i'm not an overly anxious person but im a wimp with pain and am really scared.
=====
Childbirth is totally different than other pain, IMO. I do not handle pain well, I get anxious about finger pricks to get a few drops of blood. I had a natural birth with DS. All the hormones, endorphins, etc, that your body produces during labor really do make a difference.
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, it did hurt, but I remember telling people "that hurt" right afterwards more than I remember the actual pain. In fact, I actually can't remember what it felt like, even within just a couple days after birth, my brain apparently blocked it out.
-------
Your brain will always remember if something hurt but will never remember the actual pain, unless you experience it again. That's why so many women have more than 1 child lol
Well, my opinion, which may be a UO, is that how can you judge someone who is gay, bisexual, transgender or whatever for coming out with a particular gender identity at any age. I am straight and cisgendered, but I would never say, "Oh, that child can't possibly know they are gay/straight/female/male" whatever because, quite simply, I'm not that child. So I don't know. And I don't think it's right to judge. Agree or not, that's my opinion and it has changed over time in response to the relationships I've formed with non-straight, non-cisgendered people.
Edit, proofreading/words
Yeah, I still don't see identifying with a particular sexual orientation when you have no concept of sex or sexual desire.
I also don't see how saying that makes me judgemental. Same I way I don't think it's judgemental to say that my 5 year old niece that wants to marry her dad is unlikely to understand what marriage entails.
I do see your point about young children not fully understanding sex/sexuality. I'm not super familiar with the research on the development of sexuality so you could be right to some extent. I'm just not comfortable making that call for someone else. I do have friends who state they've known they were gay since they were very young. I think the real question here is, when does a child's awareness of their own sexuality begin?
ETA- Sorry if it came off that I was calling you judgmental; that's not what I meant at all! I think this is an interesting topic and just enjoy debating in general.
Good points. I'm not really sure what research shows, as I'll admit, I don't really read it :-) I guess trying to relate how I felt (or didn't feel) growing up as a straight child to how one might feel growing up gay is apples to oranges.
I get the whole knowing from a young age, but do wonder how much of that is also hindsight. As in knowing you're different at 6, but not putting a reason to it until later. KWIM? I once asked a gay friend about that distinction and she wasn't really sure she could pinpoint an exact time at which she knew, but she also thought that it probably wasn't in early elementary school.
Thanks for keeping this an interesting non-hateful discussion/debate :-)
People keep asking me what I think I will have. I say a boy - because my DH picked girl, and I'm a contrary sort. However, that never suits them and they are like, nope girl. Well stop asking. Also, to be honest - I'm just hoping for a human baby.
Same. DH and my dad both say its a girl because DH is a nuke in the Navy and they're apparently girl-producing 75% of the time. I say its a boy, because I hope the baby will be a boy so I can prove DH and dad wrong.
Ok I know I'm gonna get flamed....It annoys me when people get so butt hurt over saying gender/sex. I realize the difference and I think when people do slip up and say sex instead of gender they aren't making a dig or trying to make a statement against being gay/bi/trans- I think they are honestly making a mistake and I'm not quite sure why others feel entitled to bite someone's head off over something that's clearly a mistake.
Was thinking the exact same thing! It's so annoying.
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
I have a non horror story birth that I can definitely share with you. Some go right and are beautiful.
That's great to hear and definitely makes me feel better. Sometimes I think people are just purposely trying to freak me out because they are getting a reaction from me. Or maybe they are just slightly sadistic.
Yes! My roomie is a nursing major and she is constantly feeling me in on the not so lovely details of child birth. She seens me a different crowning picture every morning.. Haha!
People keep asking me what I think I will have. I say a boy - because my DH picked girl, and I'm a contrary sort. However, that never suits them and they are like, nope girl. Well stop asking. Also, to be honest - I'm just hoping for a human baby.
For some reason everyone thinks I am having a girl and I don't know why! So, I think I am having a boy;) haha. A healthy baby is what I want! Girl or boy. But I also love proving people wrong;)
I was crazy scared too I mean So much when I went to the hospital I cried and cried because I didn't want to give birth. It was ok though! I'm alive! I had no tears and no cuts. It really wasn't bad. I know some people experience bad but there is hope
This may not be a UO but I am absolutely terrified of giving birth. I'd like to opt out and have the stork bring me my baby. It seems like lately, all I've been hearing are horror stories and as a FTM I just feel really freaked out. My SIL said she had a 4th degree tear which sounds horrible but it's hard to even imagine what that really means.
I know this is what our bodies are meant to do but I just don't feel very confident that my body will cooperate and it makes me feel wimpy and scared.
So yeah.... I guess I've already gone the route of "having the stork bring me my baby". We are all very very lucky that we aren't forced to "opt out" of childbirth right now. When I thought I wasn't ever going to get pregnant, I was really disappointed that I'd get to miss out on experiencing pregnancy - even the parts that hurt! I am a little scared about the actual birth but oddly am looking forward to get to do it! There are things that hurt much worse and much deeper when they get you emotionally rather than just physically.
I know I'm being overly touchy about the whole "stork" saying, but whatevs, hormones? Also, it makes me think of this scene from dumbo.
TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's 1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched! 10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL! 3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
So yeah.... I guess I've already gone the route of "having the stork bring me my baby". We are all very very lucky that we aren't forced to "opt out" of childbirth right now. When I thought I wasn't ever going to get pregnant, I was really disappointed that I'd get to miss out on experiencing pregnancy - even the parts that hurt! I am a little scared about the actual birth but oddly am looking forward to get to do it! There are things that hurt much worse and much deeper when they get you emotionally rather than just physically.
I know I'm being overly touchy about the whole "stork" saying, but whatevs, hormones? Also, it makes me think of this scene from dumbo.
Why Dumbo?! You just pulled this pregnant woman's heart strings to the max. That movie made me cry as a kid. Let's not talk about now. ::Goes to get the whole box of tissues::
After my ass pain and comparing it to childbirth, I would rather give birth any day.
For reals.
I felt the same way with all my gallbladder bullshit last year. I had to have a csection and it was NOTHING compared to the 3 surgeries and abdominal catheter (which they are suppose to freeze to do and they did... But then they decided to go through an area that wasnt frozen). After my csection I was up hours later and could walk and function as a human. Yeah, I'd rather have 5 more csections than do that again.
After my ass pain and comparing it to childbirth, I would rather give birth any day. For reals.
I felt the same way with all my gallbladder bullshit last year. I had to have a csection and it was NOTHING compared to the 3 surgeries and abdominal catheter (which they are suppose to freeze to do and they did... But then they decided to go through an area that wasnt frozen). After my csection I was up hours later and could walk and function as a human. Yeah, I'd rather have 5 more csections than do that again.
So yeah.... I guess I've already gone the route of "having the stork bring me my baby". We are all very very lucky that we aren't forced to "opt out" of childbirth right now. When I thought I wasn't ever going to get pregnant, I was really disappointed that I'd get to miss out on experiencing pregnancy - even the parts that hurt! I am a little scared about the actual birth but oddly am looking forward to get to do it! There are things that hurt much worse and much deeper when they get you emotionally rather than just physically.
I know I'm being overly touchy about the whole "stork" saying, but whatevs, hormones? Also, it makes me think of this scene from dumbo.
Why Dumbo?! You just pulled this pregnant woman's heart strings to the max. That movie made me cry as a kid. Let's not talk about now. ::Goes to get the whole box of tissues::
It's from the part of the movie where she keeps getting passed over by all the other storks while the other Moms get their babies delivered. It's about as difficult to watch as the part in UP when they find out they can't have kids. Those Disney movies man, they have some deep stuff in them that gets you when you're not expecting it!
TTC #1 9/11-12/12, 9/12 Dx: Hypothyroid + DOR (AMH .76), IUI #1 & #2 BFN's 1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched! 10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL! 3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
Re: UO Thursday!
Me 32 and DH 40
Fur-baby named Bella
1 MC Nov. 2013
DD born Nov. 2, 2014
Little 2 EDD Oct. 1
Nov. '14 January Siggy : Work Sucks!
Me 32-DH 38
Married July 14, 2007 ----- TTC # 1 October 1, 2013
BFP March 7, 2014 ----- EDD November 17, 2014 ---- Baby boy born November 16, 2014
But those things don't make them transgender or not. I was a tomboy and hated all things girle, but still identify as a straight female. I know a young man that loved to wear his sister's dresses and sparkly shoes when he was younger. Based on what I know and see now, several years later, he is a straight man.
I was using my daughters as an example to say that some children can be born girlie. Or masculine. Not specifically about transgender. Some people say we create these gender roles. I was saying I don't agree
But yeah, I'm with you, I don't care how much I gain. It came off easily last time with breastfeeding. (Too easily even, I got down to a BMI of under 16 while breastfeeding DS. He was nice & chubby though!)
I wish it were that easy for me with bfing. It was disappointing to not lose any weight, but gain while bfing.
:-O We can never be friends...
I'm super hormonal and recently I'm scared of dying and not raising my kid, seeing my husband, going back home to my dog, etc. Terrified. I'm perfectly healthy so idk what's wrong with my brain, but I cry.......a lot... over hypothetical situations that pop up in my head like this lol
8-} Insane.Although I consider myself a pretty liberal person when it comes to LGBT issues- having several friends that identify as homosexual and/or transgender, I use the sex/gender term interchangeably with children and during pregnancy. I never really thought of it as even possibly offensive to some until reading past posts. A lot of things for DS were very gender neutral initially, but as he has aged, he has become interested in things that are pretty stereotypically male...trucks, pirates, superheroes, cars...so that makes up a majority of his toys and outfits. What can you do?
I can't really think of a good UO today, but I don't really care for Snickers or most chocolatey candy bars. I would rather have a pound of sour patch kids or sweedish fish.
If you want to see people who do this , because you're lucky you haven't yet (and I mean that honestly, no sass) just watch reality tv with children in it. You'll hear it.
Gotcha! And totally agree about gender roles.
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I'm
Probably not making much sense. No sleep. And interrupted nap. Wah.
I also don't see how saying that makes me judgemental. Same I way I don't think it's judgemental to say that my 5 year old niece that wants to marry her dad is unlikely to understand what marriage entails.
Seriously though, your experience from teaching makes me sad. I hope it's not the norm, but that it happens at all is crazy cakes.
Married 10/12
DS 11/14
Ectopic 2/16
PCOS/Ovulation Dysfunction 11/16
IUI x 3- BFN
Laparoscopy 3/17 Endo and tubal damage
IVF- 4/17- 40 eggs retrieved, 10 blasts, 7 pgs tested embryos
FET- 6/17- BFP!
Due Feb 15, 2017
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Childbirth is totally different than other pain, IMO. I do not handle pain well, I get anxious about finger pricks to get a few drops of blood. I had a natural birth with DS. All the hormones, endorphins, etc, that your body produces during labor really do make a difference.
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, it did hurt, but I remember telling people "that hurt" right afterwards more than I remember the actual pain. In fact, I actually can't remember what it felt like, even within just a couple days after birth, my brain apparently blocked it out.
N14 November Siggy Challenge - Celebration
Childbirth is totally different than other pain, IMO. I do not handle pain well, I get anxious about finger pricks to get a few drops of blood. I had a natural birth with DS. All the hormones, endorphins, etc, that your body produces during labor really do make a difference.
I'm not saying it doesn't hurt, it did hurt, but I remember telling people "that hurt" right afterwards more than I remember the actual pain. In fact, I actually can't remember what it felt like, even within just a couple days after birth, my brain apparently blocked it out.
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Your brain will always remember if something hurt but will never remember the actual pain, unless you experience it again. That's why so many women have more than 1 child lol
Good points. I'm not really sure what research shows, as I'll admit, I don't really read it :-) I guess trying to relate how I felt (or didn't feel) growing up as a straight child to how one might feel growing up gay is apples to oranges.
I get the whole knowing from a young age, but do wonder how much of that is also hindsight. As in knowing you're different at 6, but not putting a reason to it until later. KWIM? I once asked a gay friend about that distinction and she wasn't really sure she could pinpoint an exact time at which she knew, but she also thought that it probably wasn't in early elementary school.
Thanks for keeping this an interesting non-hateful discussion/debate :-)
(I would be thrilled with a girl though!)
Logan born October 31, 2011
Yes! My roomie is a nursing major and she is constantly feeling me in on the not so lovely details of child birth. She seens me a different crowning picture every morning.. Haha!
For some reason everyone thinks I am having a girl and I don't know why! So, I think I am having a boy;) haha. A healthy baby is what I want! Girl or boy. But I also love proving people wrong;)
So much when I went to the hospital I cried and cried because I didn't want to give birth. It was ok though! I'm alive! I had no tears and no cuts. It really wasn't bad. I know some people experience bad but there is hope
I know I'm being overly touchy about the whole "stork" saying, but whatevs, hormones? Also, it makes me think of this scene from dumbo.
1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!
For reals.
I felt the same way with all my gallbladder bullshit last year. I had to have a csection and it was NOTHING compared to the 3 surgeries and abdominal catheter (which they are suppose to freeze to do and they did... But then they decided to go through an area that wasnt frozen). After my csection I was up hours later and could walk and function as a human. Yeah, I'd rather have 5 more csections than do that again.
I felt the same way with all my gallbladder bullshit last year. I had to have a csection and it was NOTHING compared to the 3 surgeries and abdominal catheter (which they are suppose to freeze to do and they did... But then they decided to go through an area that wasnt frozen). After my csection I was up hours later and could walk and function as a human. Yeah, I'd rather have 5 more csections than do that again.
1/13 Decided to pursue DIA, 4/13 Home study Approved 9/13 Matched!
10/13 DS home with us! 2/14 TPR completed 5/14 ADOPTION IS FINAL!
3/14 Surprise BFP 11/14 DD is here!