I'm on the same boat as @singsoftkitty. I don't see anything wrong with making a nickname or shortened name a legal name. Example: XH and I loved Leo, but not Leonard or Leonardo. Similarly, I think there is a lot of unnecessary focus on nicknames these days. Kids don't have to have a nickname. But I grew up with a dad who's motto was, "if I wanted people to call you something other than your name, I would have named you something different."
^^^ September Signature: TV series I plan on binge watching with my newborn I do what I want. ^^^
Gage Douglas 09.04.2014...my sunshine after the rain.
UO: I think that poster from Parenting had a point on the thread about that poster who got reamed in the big May thread. Sometimes there is flameage just because we can (spread across the Bump) and I think sometimes the severity is uncalled for. I'm trying to adjust the way I respond to people. Stupid questions are still stupid questions, but sometimes I'd get caught up on the bandwagon and respond in ways that I knew at the time were harsher than I wanted. So I'm trying.
Before I jump in, I take a second and figure out what my reaction would be if I didn't know the reaction anyone else had. It's my "should I flame" litmus test.
I have kind of a dumb one (maybe) but I do not think kids dressed in outfits with Disney character or some stupid saying like poop loading are at all cute. I love Disney movies and Disney world so I'm definitely not anti at all but I think it's over done. My In laws always but DD these glittery outfits with Minnie Mouse or "I'm a diva" and I have never put her in them. It's not my style, if she wants to dress in that when she's older fine but not while I have a say.
My UO: I'm kindof over the weight gain threads. I understand it's a new issue for some people and a mindfuck for others who have had problems with it in the past(I'm in that boat). Even those of us who are FTM's here and new to ALL pregnancy experiences have to know that some weight gain is an obvious thing. We all have oodles of hormones, aversions and/or cravings, and even genetics playing a part in it. I think the bottom line is you've got to talk to your doctor if you are concerned, bring it up if they don't and you still feel questionable! I'm just so tired of and upset by people beating themselves up b/c they've gained Xlbs. Stop the insanity!
They dry it out and grind it up then add some more vitamins to it and you take it as a daily suppliment. It's supposed to help with PPD and milk production.
just did some basic research. and hot damn, ya'll might be on to something here! THIS, maybe I can do. time to add another topic to my pregnancy research list. just as long as I don't actually have to thaw and cook it. interesting stuff. thanks gals!
You don't see it. You tell the medical team (or MW team) to keep it aside. You call the person doing it (usually a doula) and she does it at home. It takes 2-3 days to get it done. Depending on the person/distance travelled/other factors it can cost 150-300 dollars.
All of this is correct except you do have to bring your own cooler along with to the hospital for it to be iced and stored. If you go in unprepared they may not be able to save it for you since it needs to be handled like a meat product. Also the person you hire to encapsulate will do it at your own home.
My UO: I'm kindof over the weight gain threads. I understand it's a new issue for some people and a mindfuck for others who have had problems with it in the past(I'm in that boat). Even those of us who are FTM's here and new to ALL pregnancy experiences have to know that some weight gain is an obvious thing. We all have oodles of hormones, aversions and/or cravings, and even genetics playing a part in it. I think the bottom line is you've got to talk to your doctor if you are concerned, bring it up if they don't and you still feel questionable! I'm just so tired of and upset by people beating themselves up b/c they've gained Xlbs. Stop the insanity!
The weight gain threads actually bring me confort. I've gained more than I wanted at this point, and it's nice to know I'm not the only one whose body seems to want to hold on to every calorie I consume. I wish I could say I don't care about my weight gain, as long as it doesn't become a medical concern, but that would be bullshit. I worked hard to get to a healthy weight, and it's hard to see the pounds accumulate so early in the pregnancy.
I was surprised last week how many of you were against bikinis on little girls. For me, it's not an issue. Of course there are some exceptions. Not looking for a debate, just my UO.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
Do it! That's pretty much what we did. We had visitors at the hospital after the birth, but we asked people to give us a few days to settle down as a family and to get to know each other in our new roles. There's enough stress and things to deal with those first few days, without having to worry about entertaining visitors if you don't feel like it.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
This. In fact it's my biggest regret from giving birth to DS, it was like a zoo in there! Poor guy got passed around. Now I know better!
I don't like those decals you can get to put on your windows to tell firefighters how many pets you have in the house. I guess I don't really know how much influence they have on whether or not a firefighter will do a second sweep of your house to look for pets, but something about it bothers me.
It just seems wrong to basically ask rescue workers to risk their life to look for your cat or dog. It's one thing if they come across your pet and are able to rescue them, but I wouldn't want someone else in danger looking for my pet. I know a lot of people think of their pets as family, but firefighters are human beings with lives and families.
My friend has one of these decals and it isn't even updated. It says they have more pets than they have. That really pisses me off. How would you ever forgive yourself if something happened to someone while they were searching for your non-existent dog?
I was always under the impression that you were a "bad friend" if you didn't go visit in the hospital. My friends always have said, "you are coming to the hospital...right?!" So I always felt like it was a must-do if you were friends with the mother.
So these comments are eye-opening. Me on the other hand-- I really don't care if people didn't come. Lol
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
I remember my MIL telling me that when my nephew was born they let her in the room while they were stitching up my BIL's wife! No thank you. Everyone can wait until we're settled in our room and resting. I do want everyone to come meet him in the hospital though, then to leave us alone for a little bit when we go home.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
My Mom told me it was a matter of honor and respect that she be allowed in the delivery room, because it was what she wanted. Pretty sure it's now water under the bridge, but no, she was not allowed in.
ETA: We had a full waiting room all three times. I thought I'd be worried about "wasting" their time, but I couldn't have cared less how long they waited and literally didn't think twice about it. It was over 1 1/2 hours before family was allowed in and I was settled and baby had nursed.
They dry it out and grind it up then add some more vitamins to it and you take it as a daily suppliment. It's supposed to help with PPD and milk production.
just did some basic research. and hot damn, ya'll might be on to something here! THIS, maybe I can do. time to add another topic to my pregnancy research list. just as long as I don't actually have to thaw and cook it. interesting stuff. thanks gals!
You don't see it. You tell the medical team (or MW team) to keep it aside. You call the person doing it (usually a doula) and she does it at home. It takes 2-3 days to get it done. Depending on the person/distance travelled/other factors it can cost 150-300 dollars.
All of this is correct except you do have to bring your own cooler along with to the hospital for it to be iced and stored. If you go in unprepared they may not be able to save it for you since it needs to be handled like a meat product. Also the person you hire to encapsulate will do it at your own home.
Mine said they store it for you. Also they do not do it at my home. They pick it up, dry it, encapsulate it and then I get it a few days later...I have no idea how it would even get done in my own home...
Interesting. The person I am using said legally they have to do it in my home. I guess different laws/procedures in different states.
My UO: I'm kindof over the weight gain threads. I understand it's a new issue for some people and a mindfuck for others who have had problems with it in the past(I'm in that boat). Even those of us who are FTM's here and new to ALL pregnancy experiences have to know that some weight gain is an obvious thing. We all have oodles of hormones, aversions and/or cravings, and even genetics playing a part in it. I think the bottom line is you've got to talk to your doctor if you are concerned, bring it up if they don't and you still feel questionable! I'm just so tired of and upset by people beating themselves up b/c they've gained Xlbs. Stop the insanity!
If there is one thing I have learned in my journey to get to this point, it is that you have to advocate for yourself. If you are upset about your weight (or any other health issue for that matter), you need to bring it up to your doctor. If they say it is no big deal, but you are still upset, you are responsible for you, and you need to make it clear that it is a big deal. And there is noting wrong with asking to be referred to a nutritionist.
I had a long discussion with my OB on Tuesday about a condition that I will likely not be affected by, but it was weighing on my mind. I asked a shit load of questions, and he explained it far better to me than Dr. Google or an online forum could have. He recognized it was causing me some anxiety and we had a very open conversation until I was at ease.
Your concerns about your weight are no less important than any other other health issue encountered during pregnancy, and your doctors cannot read your mind. If they will not listen to you and entertain the questions you have, is that really the best doctor for your care?
I was surprised last week how many of you were against bikinis on little girls. For me, it's not an issue. Of course there are some exceptions. Not looking for a debate, just my UO.
Hmm, I missed this. My mom was against bikinis when I was little because we just took them off. Naked babies are happy babies! Wish we didn't have the worries of the creeps like we didnt when we were young.
My UO: I'm kindof over the weight gain threads. I understand it's a new issue for some people and a mindfuck for others who have had problems with it in the past(I'm in that boat). Even those of us who are FTM's here and new to ALL pregnancy experiences have to know that some weight gain is an obvious thing. We all have oodles of hormones, aversions and/or cravings, and even genetics playing a part in it. I think the bottom line is you've got to talk to your doctor if you are concerned, bring it up if they don't and you still feel questionable! I'm just so tired of and upset by people beating themselves up b/c they've gained Xlbs. Stop the insanity!
If there is one thing I have learned in my journey to get to this point, it is that you have to advocate for yourself. If you are upset about your weight (or any other health issue for that matter), you need to bring it up to your doctor. If they say it is no big deal, but you are still upset, you are responsible for you, and you need to make it clear that it is a big deal. And there is noting wrong with asking to be referred to a nutritionist.
I had a long discussion with my OB on Tuesday about a condition that I will likely not be affected by, but it was weighing on my mind. I asked a shit load of questions, and he explained it far better to me than Dr. Google or an online forum could have. He recognized it was causing me some anxiety and we had a very open conversation until I was at ease.
Your concerns about your weight are no less important than any other other health issue encountered during pregnancy, and your doctors cannot read your mind. If they will not listen to you and entertain the questions you have, is that really the best doctor for your care?
I love you.
I already wrote this on the last weight gain post, but too often I've seen women make light of people's concerns. The stand-by "If your doctor isn't concerned, then you shouldn't be." isn't as true with weight gain.
The time to focus on weight gain and it's potential issue is absolutely now, opposed to later in 3rd tri when the baby is growing overnight.
I was surprised last week how many of you were against bikinis on little girls. For me, it's not an issue. Of course there are some exceptions. Not looking for a debate, just my UO.
Hmm, I missed this. My mom was against bikinis when I was little because we just took them off. Naked babies are happy babies! Wish we didn't have the worries of the creeps like we didnt when we were young. -----quote fail-----
Yea funny how kids love to be naked huh? But I definitely think there were still creeps around when we were young.
Edited bc I don't know the difference between they're and there
They dry it out and grind it up then add some more vitamins to it and you take it as a daily suppliment. It's supposed to help with PPD and milk production.
just did some basic research. and hot damn, ya'll might be on to something here! THIS, maybe I can do. time to add another topic to my pregnancy research list. just as long as I don't actually have to thaw and cook it. interesting stuff. thanks gals!
You don't see it. You tell the medical team (or MW team) to keep it aside. You call the person doing it (usually a doula) and she does it at home. It takes 2-3 days to get it done. Depending on the person/distance travelled/other factors it can cost 150-300 dollars.
All of this is correct except you do have to bring your own cooler along with to the hospital for it to be iced and stored. If you go in unprepared they may not be able to save it for you since it needs to be handled like a meat product. Also the person you hire to encapsulate will do it at your own home.
Mine said they store it for you. Also they do not do it at my home. They pick it up, dry it, encapsulate it and then I get it a few days later...I have no idea how it would even get done in my own home...
Interesting. The person I am using said legally they have to do it in my home. I guess different laws/procedures in different states.
I know that if they do it in their home it has to be "licensed kitchen," so like a baker. I wonder if by doing it in the client's home that is their loop-hole?
UO: I think that poster from Parenting had a point on the thread about that poster who got reamed in the big May thread. Sometimes there is flameage just because we can (spread across the Bump) and I think sometimes the severity is uncalled for. I'm trying to adjust the way I respond to people. Stupid questions are still stupid questions, but sometimes I'd get caught up on the bandwagon and respond in ways that I knew at the time were harsher than I wanted. So I'm trying.
Wholeheartedly agree -- plus, once ONE person has responded snarkily, does everybody really need to pop in and say THE SAME THING over and over again? THat's what bugs me - like, ooooh you think you're being so clever...but 27 people before you just made the same joke about ute goggles and us not being u/s techs, etc... then it becomes bashing for the sake of bashing, which I don't understand at all.
This may have been one already, but I hate The Walking Dead and anything else that has to do with the zombie craze. I just don't get it and it grosses me out.
Not my opinion but - My pretty open minded OB
said the following about placenta encapsulation: “I’ve done my research, I’ve
talked to other doctors and me and the midwives feel that it’s a crock. Once
the placenta is delivered it has served its purpose. I inspect them post
delivery and even at just a couple hours old there is no way I would suggest
anyone ingest that.”
I’ve been having anxiety about people trying to come visit
us once we get home. The only family we are close to is my parents, my brother,
DH’s brother and one Aunt. These will be the only people allowed to visit at
the hospital and at home. I’ve come up with the mantra “If I only see you once
a year (most of both of our families) you can wait till Christmas to meet LO”. That may sound unreasonable, but I don’t want
to have to accommodate someone that never bothers with us just because they
feel like they need to meet the baby.
My UO - which predates my time having children - I think it is insanely rude for new mothers / parents to get their noses bent out of joint when people don't immediately make it a #1 priority to go see the new baby. Look, the baby isn't going anywhere, and I've got shit to do. Just because you decided to have kids, doesn't mean my world stops spinning. It also doesn't mean that i am not THRILLED for you, or that I won't come over when schedules allow. But chill out!
And once I had kids, I REALLY didn't get it, because mostly I just wanted to be alone!
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
We didn't allow anyone at the hospital. There was A LOT of drama with the IL's but in the end they respected our wishes. H wasn't 100% sold on the idea, however after the fact he was VERY HAPPY with the time we got to spend alone with DS and how intimate everything was. We hope to be able to do so again with DD and have time alone as a family with DS as well.
** Edited to add we did have family visit at the hospital, however not until several hours later **
I would like to add as well that MIL tried to get H to secretly allow them to come AGAINST my wishes because it was so important to her... I was told that I needed to understand that as her first born she HAD to be there when his first born was born... I can't even begin to tell you how furious this made me, because A) it's not about her and don't you DARE ask MY HUSBAND to go against my wishes for yours... (clearly I have lingering anger) Create your boundaries early ladies... It was eye opening to me.
I 100% agree with this. Create those boundaries early and STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! You will NOT be sorry that you had special, private, one on one time with you, your baby, and SO, even if it meant everyone else had to wait an hour, a day, or a week.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
I really learned my lesson with DS. Even my mom in the room was a pain. While going through contractions I wanted to rest and not deal with anyone. When things got scary and I was rushed to the OR for my crash c-section, I didn't need people around me freaking out. I also should have limited visitors. Just as I was finally falling asleep, DS had nights DVD days mixed up, someone would come visit. My room might as well have had a revolving door. It was just too much!
This time around, we aren't telling anyone when we schedule our RCS. We will tell the family that day right after LO is born and take visitors during a set time the next day. We will also set visiting times for any subsequent days that I am I the hospital. I am sure my ILs will lose their shit, but it isn't about them.
I didn't want anybody at the hospital waiting -- and honestly, nobody really wanted to be there anyway, so it was a non-issue (I mean, they would have been if we'd asked them to be, but everybody was fine with "we'll call you when there's something to tell you!"). And thank God for htat because I also had an emergency c/s after 12 hours of labor and 3 hours of pushing!
And then as for visitors - the only people that came were our parents, my brother and SIL, and our realtor (haha), because my house sold while I was in labor and we had to sign some papers. :-) I was pretty beat up and not really up for a lot of interaction so that was fine. If some people had wanted to come that would have been fine too,but we just went with the flow, didn't have hard and fast rules about it beforehand.
My UO: I'm kindof over the weight gain threads. I understand it's a new issue for some people and a mindfuck for others who have had problems with it in the past(I'm in that boat). Even those of us who are FTM's here and new to ALL pregnancy experiences have to know that some weight gain is an obvious thing. We all have oodles of hormones, aversions and/or cravings, and even genetics playing a part in it. I think the bottom line is you've got to talk to your doctor if you are concerned, bring it up if they don't and you still feel questionable! I'm just so tired of and upset by people beating themselves up b/c they've gained Xlbs. Stop the insanity!
If there is one thing I have learned in my journey to get to this point, it is that you have to advocate for yourself. If you are upset about your weight (or any other health issue for that matter), you need to bring it up to your doctor. If they say it is no big deal, but you are still upset, you are responsible for you, and you need to make it clear that it is a big deal. And there is noting wrong with asking to be referred to a nutritionist.
I had a long discussion with my OB on Tuesday about a condition that I will likely not be affected by, but it was weighing on my mind. I asked a shit load of questions, and he explained it far better to me than Dr. Google or an online forum could have. He recognized it was causing me some anxiety and we had a very open conversation until I was at ease.
Your concerns about your weight are no less important than any other other health issue encountered during pregnancy, and your doctors cannot read your mind. If they will not listen to you and entertain the questions you have, is that really the best doctor for your care?
Our families all live on the other side of the country so we didn't have to worry about people wanting to be in the waiting or delivery room for the birth. If they were nearby, I would have told them no. We wouldn't have wanted any distractions, negativity, or unsolicited advice. For us, it was an experience that my husband and I wanted to do alone.
Three of my friends stopped by the following day at different times for a few minutes which I appreciated since I was going stir crazy in the hospital. They brought balloons and food. It was nice.
Do what you want. Don't let any one pressure you or guilt you into something you don't want.
I have a friend who live across the country that was pissed that I didn't skype with her to "meet" the baby the first week. Talking on the phone was clearly not enough.
My UO: I think we should stop teaching kids how NOT to be a bully and begin teaching them how NOT to be a victim.
I see this so much in my job, and I feel like kids have been mean or teasing since the beginning of time. I don't think they're learning how to be any meaner over the years. I think our children are becoming weaker when it comes to standing up for themselves and managing expectations. Parents need to stop the coddling and start the self-esteem lessons. That does NOT mean "oh everyone likes you Jimmy! you're the best boy in the world!" even when he's not....but actually teaching them about strengths, weaknesses, and how other people just won't like you and that's their problem.
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
My UO: I think we should stop teaching kids how NOT to be a bully and begin teaching them how NOT to be a victim.
I see this so much in my job, and I feel like kids have been mean or teasing since the beginning of time. I don't think they're learning how to be any meaner over the years. I think our children are becoming weaker when it comes to standing up for themselves and managing expectations. Parents need to stop the coddling and start the self-esteem lessons. That does NOT mean "oh everyone likes you Jimmy! you're the best boy in the world!" even when he's not....but actually teaching them about strengths, weaknesses, and how other people just won't like you and that's their problem.
Once again, Carm, you reaffirm my creepy girl crush on you.
I think we should be teaching them both things!
And parents how to not be helicopters that prevent every single negative thing on the planet from ever happening to their child! We all want what is best for our kids, but disappointment and loss is a part of life.
@carmstr4 I could not agree with more. Kids are so weak now. I know it's going to break my heart when my daughter comes home crying because someone picked on her, but it's life not everyone is going to like you or your kid and that's fine. Kids need to stand up for themselves, brush things off and move on.
My UO: I think we should stop teaching kids how NOT to be a bully and begin teaching them how NOT to be a victim.
I see this so much in my job, and I feel like kids have been mean or teasing since the beginning of time. I don't think they're learning how to be any meaner over the years. I think our children are becoming weaker when it comes to standing up for themselves and managing expectations. Parents need to stop the coddling and start the self-esteem lessons. That does NOT mean "oh everyone likes you Jimmy! you're the best boy in the world!" even when he's not....but actually teaching them about strengths, weaknesses, and how other people just won't like you and that's their problem.
I partially agree. Kids these days are weaker than they were when I was a kid, but I also think that "bullying" has been brought to an entirely new level since I was a kid. I got picked on for my lunch box, for being too skinny, for being a nerd, etc..all general picking on. Today these kids harass, and stalk, and cyber-bully (which wasn't even a thing then) and tell each other to commit suicide and all sorts of crazy shit. But yes, this coddling nonsense needs to stop.
That's what brought on my UO . I think kids have more access to being mean, but I don't think they are MORE mean. I was in a crisis eval for close to 7 hours yesterday because a student texted another student that she should kill herself. I'm having a hard time pinpointing where that particular suggestion came from and why kids use it. I've talked to multiple grades about whether they've ever said that to someone before and why. Lots of said it, but to them I think it's a cultural insult much like "that's so gay" or "you're retarded" that were big when I was in school. Most of them say it to be mean, but they are INCAPABLE of understanding the implications. That's why it's so important to work at it from the other end of the spectrum IMO
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
My UO: I think we should stop teaching kids how NOT to be a bully and begin teaching them how NOT to be a victim.
I see this so much in my job, and I feel like kids have been mean or teasing since the beginning of time. I don't think they're learning how to be any meaner over the years. I think our children are becoming weaker when it comes to standing up for themselves and managing expectations. Parents need to stop the coddling and start the self-esteem lessons. That does NOT mean "oh everyone likes you Jimmy! you're the best boy in the world!" even when he's not....but actually teaching them about strengths, weaknesses, and how other people just won't like you and that's their problem.
I partially agree with this. I was picked on as a kid for being fat, having psoriasis, being a nerd, and being "unpopular". Yeah, it was crappy, but I dealt with it and I think it made me a stronger person. However, I wanted to strangle the kids who bullied my little sister for being autistic. She def does/did not have the maturity and coping mechanisms that I had and was hurt to the core. What made me even angrier was that nothing was done and these kids weren't spoken to or dealt with. The school even refused to implement a Best Buddies program to offer support. There's no excuse for bullying kids who have a handicap and I think there needs to be a support system for the victims and a punishment for the bullies.
{Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
{DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
At first we thought only having us in the room would be good. The more I thought it the more I wanted my Mom there too. My husband was hesitant until we started reading labor books. I love him to death but he isn't going to handle the whole labor process really well and told me he definitely wants my Mom in they with us.
My IL's live out of town and won't be coming up until a week after she's born and we're home. They are super nice people, just very different from my husband and I and the thought of having them here for a week makes me cry.
As for the waiting room -- I personally can give two craps less who wants to sit their butt in an uncomfortable waiting room and wait. Everyone had been told they will have to wait at least two hours to see us and her one she is here.
@brittneyandadam I'm not implying that we shouldn't deal with the students who exhibit bullying behaviors, but that we should have a curricular shift. Right now it points a finger at the "bully" (which we need I shift from using as a noun, but that's a sidebar) which is clearly not working
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
Yes yes yes. When I'm in pain or am sick, I hate ppl doting over me. I need to deal with it alone...so I just want DH in the hospital with me. Whether or not I want visitors is going to depend on how crappy I feel after birth. I know I will want alone time as a family as well...and may ask ppl to stay away until day 2. My insurance has only approved a 24 hour stay...so I might even ask for ppl to wait u til we get home and get settled. Also, after taking Immunology this semester, I'm going to be super careful about who I let near my newborn. Hands must be washed and if you have any symptoms of a sickness, you will not be allowed in my home.
{Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
{DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
My UO: I think we should stop teaching kids how NOT to be a bully and begin teaching them how NOT to be a victim.
I see this so much in my job, and I feel like kids have been mean or teasing since the beginning of time. I don't think they're learning how to be any meaner over the years. I think our children are becoming weaker when it comes to standing up for themselves and managing expectations. Parents need to stop the coddling and start the self-esteem lessons. That does NOT mean "oh everyone likes you Jimmy! you're the best boy in the world!" even when he's not....but actually teaching them about strengths, weaknesses, and how other people just won't like you and that's their problem.
My UO: I don't want anyone in the delivery room or waiting room at the hospital. Just DH, LO and me. In fact, if I could avoid visitors for the first week, I would.
At first we thought only having us in the room would be good. The more I thought it the more I wanted my Mom there too. My husband was hesitant until we started reading labor books. I love him to death but he isn't going to handle the whole labor process really well and told me he definitely wants my Mom in they with us.
My IL's live out of town and won't be coming up until a week after she's born and we're home. They are super nice people, just very different from my husband and I and the thought of having them here for a week makes me cry.
As for the waiting room -- I personally can give two craps less who wants to sit their butt in an uncomfortable waiting room and wait. Everyone had been told they will have to wait at least two hours to see us and her one she is here.
DEFINITELY depends on your relationship with your mom and how your DH will handle stuff. My husband is awesome in those situations - he was my labor coach and he did great -- and my mom would have probably driven us both nuts (even though we are close!)... you just have to do what is right for you guys!
@carmstr4 I'm all for the shift in focus, but I think consideration needs to be taken for kids who don't have the coping mechanisms and who don't understand what's happening. In my sister's case, teaching her how not to be a victim won't be effective as she doesn't have the social skills to stand up for herself nor the ability to brush it off.
{Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
{DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
mrsdanielleM2010
member
Re: UO Thursday
^^^ September Signature: TV series I plan on binge watching with my newborn I do what I want. ^^^
So these comments are eye-opening. Me on the other hand-- I really don't care if people didn't come. Lol
ETA: We had a full waiting room all three times. I thought I'd be worried about "wasting" their time, but I couldn't have cared less how long they waited and literally didn't think twice about it. It was over 1 1/2 hours before family was allowed in and I was settled and baby had nursed.
I had a long discussion with my OB on Tuesday about a condition that I will likely not be affected by, but it was weighing on my mind. I asked a shit load of questions, and he explained it far better to me than Dr. Google or an online forum could have. He recognized it was causing me some anxiety and we had a very open conversation until I was at ease.
Your concerns about your weight are no less important than any other other health issue encountered during pregnancy, and your doctors cannot read your mind. If they will not listen to you and entertain the questions you have, is that really the best doctor for your care?
Hmm, I missed this. My mom was against bikinis when I was little because we just took them off. Naked babies are happy babies! Wish we didn't have the worries of the creeps like we didnt when we were young.
I already wrote this on the last weight gain post, but too often I've seen women make light of people's concerns. The stand-by "If your doctor isn't concerned, then you shouldn't be." isn't as true with weight gain.
The time to focus on weight gain and it's potential issue is absolutely now, opposed to later in 3rd tri when the baby is growing overnight.
-----quote fail-----
Yea funny how kids love to be naked huh? But I definitely think there were still creeps around when we were young.
Edited bc I don't know the difference between they're and there
Not my opinion but - My pretty open minded OB said the following about placenta encapsulation: “I’ve done my research, I’ve talked to other doctors and me and the midwives feel that it’s a crock. Once the placenta is delivered it has served its purpose. I inspect them post delivery and even at just a couple hours old there is no way I would suggest anyone ingest that.”
I’ve been having anxiety about people trying to come visit us once we get home. The only family we are close to is my parents, my brother, DH’s brother and one Aunt. These will be the only people allowed to visit at the hospital and at home. I’ve come up with the mantra “If I only see you once a year (most of both of our families) you can wait till Christmas to meet LO”. That may sound unreasonable, but I don’t want to have to accommodate someone that never bothers with us just because they feel like they need to meet the baby.
I 100% agree with this. Create those boundaries early and STICK TO YOUR GUNS!! You will NOT be sorry that you had special, private, one on one time with you, your baby, and SO, even if it meant everyone else had to wait an hour, a day, or a week.
Three of my friends stopped by the following day at different times for a few minutes which I appreciated since I was going stir crazy in the hospital. They brought balloons and food. It was nice.
Do what you want. Don't let any one pressure you or guilt you into something you don't want.
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
I partially agree. Kids these days are weaker than they were when I was a kid, but I also think that "bullying" has been brought to an entirely new level since I was a kid. I got picked on for my lunch box, for being too skinny, for being a nerd, etc..all general picking on. Today these kids harass, and stalk, and cyber-bully (which wasn't even a thing then) and tell each other to commit suicide and all sorts of crazy shit. But yes, this coddling nonsense needs to stop.
That's what brought on my UO . I think kids have more access to being mean, but I don't think they are MORE mean. I was in a crisis eval for close to 7 hours yesterday because a student texted another student that she should kill herself. I'm having a hard time pinpointing where that particular suggestion came from and why kids use it. I've talked to multiple grades about whether they've ever said that to someone before and why. Lots of said it, but to them I think it's a cultural insult much like "that's so gay" or "you're retarded" that were big when I was in school. Most of them say it to be mean, but they are INCAPABLE of understanding the implications. That's why it's so important to work at it from the other end of the spectrum IMO
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
At first we thought only having us in the room would be good. The more I thought it the more I wanted my Mom there too. My husband was hesitant until we started reading labor books. I love him to death but he isn't going to handle the whole labor process really well and told me he definitely wants my Mom in they with us.
My IL's live out of town and won't be coming up until a week after she's born and we're home. They are super nice people, just very different from my husband and I and the thought of having them here for a week makes me cry.
As for the waiting room -- I personally can give two craps less who wants to sit their butt in an uncomfortable waiting room and wait. Everyone had been told they will have to wait at least two hours to see us and her one she is here.
Married: August 2012
DD: 9/22/2014
S14 August Siggy Challenge.....ALL OF THE ALCOHOLS
Also, after taking Immunology this semester, I'm going to be super careful about who I let near my newborn. Hands must be washed and if you have any symptoms of a sickness, you will not be allowed in my home.
Married: August 2012
DD: 9/22/2014