i have a good question, don't miss it!

CousinVicki

i just remembered this being a hot topic back in the day with #1.  

what are you planning on doing when your LO starts touching themselves, both when they are still in the baby phase and when they get older and in exploration mode. What will you say/do? 

can't wait for this!

Welshgirl12

when I worked at a preschool we had a little boy (2yo) who would literally hump the floor for like 2/3 of the day. We were instructed not to stop him, so he humped all day!!

At this stage I'm not sure what I would say to A if she stays doing something similar.

CousinVicki

Welshgirl12 said:

 We were instructed not to stop him, so he humped all day!!  

i just choked on my water.

kimbo1216

Hmm. With my girls I feel like it will be my job to talk to them. I don't want them to feel ashamed but I don't want them doing it publicly either. So I will just tell them it's perfectly natural but it's something to be done in private. At least I suppose that's what I'll them. Lol

Jalee85

I'm not sure. I will do my best to talk about it at an appropriate age. Right now I'll let her do whatever. My Mom made a big deal about this and I think she ruined my idea of sexuality. To the point that it was unhealthy.

calibr8te

I have no idea what I will say to my boy when he is older because I myself am often like a 13 year old boy and think all the things are funny. I deft don't want to make it some sort of weird issue, as long as he is not humping everything in site that is.

Right now, NOTHING. He is a baby and just discovering his physical limits. 

taylormarie923

Lo is uncircumcized so he needs to do what he's got to do. When he's older I will make sure to teach him what situations aren't appropriate for that sort of behavior.

blondolphn

When she's older I will talk to her about it, but until then I won't say anything unless it becomes an issue.

MangoMama82

Snowboarderbritt said:

taylormarie923 said:

Lo is uncircumcized so he needs to do what he's got to do. When he's older I will make sure to teach him what situations aren't appropriate for that sort of behavior.

Wait, I am honestly curious about this. What does being uncircumcised have to do with it?

I was about to ask the same thing! Is it itchy or something??

pmarie33

With DD, she discovered her it in the bath around 15m or so. She asked what it was and I told her it was her vagina and it's where her pee come out. She didn't say too much back then, but she was able to say it pretty good and would tell me every bath about her vagina.

DS hasn't even noticed his yet.

taylormarie923

MangoMama82 said:

Snowboarderbritt said:

taylormarie923 said:

Lo is uncircumcized so he needs to do what he's got to do. When he's older I will make sure to teach him what situations aren't appropriate for that sort of behavior.

Wait, I am honestly curious about this. What does being uncircumcised have to do with it?

I was about to ask the same thing! Is it itchy or something??

They have to work the foreskin back on their own from what I understand.

knottied2a666e3e38a2a87

It seems like...this was never an issue and nobody ever had to talk to me.  What I learned about sexuality I learned from books and the web.

muffyvonmuff

Same thing I tell DH, "Honey please don't do that on the couch."

norbert5

I honestly don't have to deal with it all that much. I just tell my girls we don't touch our privates in public. And my daughter has asked if we can touch our privates in private and I told her yes. NBD.

nbcarlson

I don't think this is a very big deal. If my son is touching himself in public I will just tell him that is something you can do in private but not in public. It's apparently a fairly easy thing to teach as you don't see tons of people walking around grabbing at their bits.

calibr8te

Thank you STMs who actually use the term vagina.

My niece was explained all this with a 'nice' (re: childfriendly? a million eye rolls) term. 

Well it backfired one afternoon when we were doting on her calling her a cutie petutie and she kept freaking out about it. 

Turns out her vagina is a petutie.

Jenball717

My older girl has never shown too much interest in touching herself. We have talked about it, refer to it properly (although she did used to call it her "bagina" which was adorable), and talk about when it is okay for other people to touch her there or see it. But she seems indifferent to it for the most part.

pandaglitter

@calibr8te‌ that reminds me of my daughter's grandma calling it her "petunia". So many eye rolls. She used to say "petunia!" And start cracking up. So no real harm done.

My older daughter is six so it's not a huge issue because she knows when touching ourselves is and isn't appropriate and she's pretty modest except around me. Yay me. (Today she randomly took all of her clothes off in the living room and started farting. And then went to put on new clothes. Evidently she really wanted to get changed and started changing in the living room...nowhere is sacred.)

She's allowed to do whatever with her body in private as long as it's not hurtful. She tends to itch and ended up cutting herself on accident with her nail which got infected and is a vicious cycle since it now itches more. Le sigh.

slh6363

@kimbo1216‌ Good response! I think I'll say something like that as well!

blathnat

Ugh.  Going through this with my 3 year old DS right now.  He potty learned a few months ago, so now he has easy access.  He is constantly, absentmindedly, touching himself  all day long! I don't want him to feel ashamed or think its bad- but he also needs to learn to not do it in public.  What I've been telling him is that it isn't polite to do around other people so he can go into the bathroom or his bedroom, he will usually just stop and continue playing with whatever toy is in front of him.  We've been working on pleases, thank yous, you're welcomes, etc.  as well so I am hopeful putting this in the context of other manners will help the lesson sink in without making him feel ashamed about sexuality. *fingerscrossed*

As for DD she's just recently discovered that there is something there during diaper changes, I  redirect her if she is about to get poop or diaper cream all over.  Otherwise its no big deal.

kimbo1216

calibr8te said:

Thank you STMs who actually use the term vagina.

My niece was explained all this with a 'nice' (re: childfriendly? a million eye rolls) term. 

Well it backfired one afternoon when we were doting on her calling her a cutie petutie and she kept freaking out about it. 

Turns out her vagina is a petutie.

if we're getting technical, it should be vulva as I'm assuming you aren't referencing the inside parts but the outside.

Personally, we use lady bits.  It's habit for me so that's what dd knows.  Doesn't bother me.  Maybe that's a UO.

tashad18

I never had an issue with DS1 when he was a toddler.  When he was 5 he was taking a bath and called me in there so I ran like crazy thinking something was wrong, and he has his testicles squeezed up and said "look, it's a brain! It's a brain!!" So then I had a talk with him about not playing with himself in public, etc.  He never really had an issue about it after that.

I have always been pretty open with him about anatomy and the birds and the bees type stuff.  He would have learned so much wrong on the playground had I not explained things properly to him. 

Herefishy87

I'm having this issue with ds1 (2.5yr) right now, well for the past few months. He will randomly strip and run around the house naked which is nbd to me but he will pretty much touch himself the entire time. I don't tell him to stop but just encourage him to put his diaper and clothes on so he doesn't "get cold". He just recently started telling me he has a "big tall peepee" when he gets an erection and I just say ok. What the hell am I supposed to say to that?!
Thankfully he doesn't try it in public much but if he does I just tell him to get his hand out if his pants. I'm not shy about explaining anything to him I just don't know what's age appropriate.

calibr8te

@kimbo1216: I actually like the term lady bits as it is not completely off base. My mother called it my ducky and penis was little birdy. Cute and all but there was way too much discomfort around the subject of our bodies growing up in my parents house. I hope to bypass that awkwardness with our family.