question on 2 yr old and DH relationship

njbride0603

my 2 yr old sometimes does not want anything to do with my DH. Won't say hello or good-bye and can just be fresh. I don't know what it is...she can be fresh she's two but she always will hug me and kiss me and she's really not affectionate with him at all. Sometimes she completely ignores him. Her behavior toward  him is really starting to get to him and he ends up getting mad and yelling at her which I dont think is helping. Anyone have this going on? I keep telling myself she's two but I know it really bothers him so I'm trying to figure out if its something else....thanks!

mlee116

DS was like this until recently because I spent more alone time with DS than DH did.  I did drop off & pickups from daycare everyday,bath time, bedtime, etc.  He definitely preferred me over DH and it was hard on DH.  However, I started a new job in January and they started spending more time together.  They have about 1.5 hours before I get home and it has helped their relationship tremendously.  DS still has times when he prefers me over DH, but there are also times where he wants DH!  I would try to let your DD and DH have more time alone together.  She might be upset at first, but over time she will develop a good relationship with him too.  Its so important to me for DS to have a great relationship with DH so I try to step back and let them bond.

About the yelling, thats not going to help things.  If she thinks that he's going to react like that when she does something wrong, well, who can blame her for not wanting to spend time with him?  A little patience will go a long way.

Eskimokisses13

It is completely normal and is a phase.  DD (4) has gone through many preferential phases - choosing me over DH and also choosing DH over me.  DS (2) is currently going through this, but to a lesser extent.  For him, it is more about who can help him with things.  Some days only mom can get him his cup of milk, other days only daddy can put him in his car seat. 

The yelling will not help things.  Your DH just needs to give her time and the phase will pass.     

salbabe79

one on one time certainly has  helped eva and hubby here too

junebugrbig

Sounds like a phase.  Both my kids have gone through phases where they favor one parent over the other.  It was hard at first...now we know not to take it personal.  It will pass.

rimjob

We went through it around the same time.  E wouldn't let H do anything for her at all.  She would have sooner died of thirst than let him get her a freaking drink most days.  It got better the older she got and the more that they did things one on one.  When I went to the hospital to have my son my H kept her home with him for the most part and now she spends as much time with him as possible and begs him to take her for walks and to play with her.  It sucks for your H but it will pass as long as he keeps trying and trys to remember that it isn't personal and that she doesn't hate him.  Good Luck

janinekrause

My 2 year daughter has gone through phases and for a while, would scream if I put her to bed vs. my DH. (I was always putting my 5 year old to sleep and he with my little one).

 

How did we change that? As hard as it was, we started switching on and off every night. She had a hard time the first week, then got used to both of us doing it-each in our own way. Now, sometimes she prefers me putting her to bed.

We also stopped giving into the - no, mommy has to change my diaper, mommy has to get me a drink. We no longer let her dictate who did those things. After a few days, she got the hint.

I think 1) let them spend more one and one time together 2) don't give into her making choices on who does what

We, myself included, unwilling perpetuate those things. and it can get better if help out with it.

 

 

njbride0603

thanks I think its just a phase too and have been telling him he needs to maybe spend some more one-on-one time with her. I will be happy to tell him he is not the only one as he usually thinks our kids are the only ones in the word that do certain things