Parenting After a Loss

lexusolsen

Is that board for rainbow babies only? I'm trying to figure out if my dd needs some therapy to deal with everything we have gone through (the car accident and resulting loss of ds). We have a parent orientation next week to see if what our insurance offers will meet her needs. Just looking for a few other parents who can share what kind of reactions their older children had so we have a better idea of what is normal.

We have the book "We were supposed to have a baby but we got an angel instead". Any other books or resources anyone can recommend?

TIA

shandorfml2

I think that board is for parenting after a loss in general, not necessarily just for rainbows. Not sure though. I'm sure they'd be fine with you asking about it.

Noethola

I would go ahead and ask. There are people that frequent that board and this board. You can express your questions in either place.

I think counseling/therapy to be helpful for anyone who has gone through this. I hope your insurance offers you options and you can choose a great fit!

dadalou

It's really hard to find resources about losing a baby for the older sibling. There is really not much out there. We have the book you mentioned and a few about heaven in general. I also wrote a book for my daughter (she is 3 1/2). I can PM the manuscript to you. We lost our son at birth so the situation might be a little different.

stefuge

You are welcome to intro on the PAL board, there are ladies there with rainbow babies and sunshine children, although not all have had late term losses, and so their situations may be different. I will warn you though - there are lots of baby photos and conversations over there, which can be difficult. I will pop on over there from time to time but somedays can't handle all the baby talk. Hope it helps!

mingaling2

I'd also recommend the following:

Something Happened

Remembering Our Baby

lexusolsen

Thanks for the encouragement.  I think I will intro over there later today.  stefugemingaling2 We also ordered Soemthing Happened but I wasn't as pleased with it as the first book.  It just didn't seem like a good fit for us for some reason.  I will check out the other book you mentioned.  Thanks.  

MrsLaurenandDan

Interesting. I preferred something happened. DS1 had just turned 2 when Noah was stillborn. He patted my stomach and said baby for a long time. I find talking about it helpful. If he sees me crying and says "mommy sad?" I tell him why. He'll now randomly say sometimes "mommy sad missing baby Noah." I think it helps him process.

Dixon813

I don't have any info on the PAL board, but just wanted to say that my stepson was 6 when the triplets died.  He seemed to handle it very well, but then over the course of time, things started getting worse for him (he also was going through other life changing events - his mom got married, they moved, new school, etc.) but he said he was sad a lot, but didn't want to talk about it.

He started seeing a therapist about a month ago (I've been seeing one since July...) so I do hope you find something your insurance can work with and that will work for you.

Hugs!

lexusolsen

Thank you all so much. I wish so badly that there wasn't a need for this board but since there is, I appreciate the support and understanding.