Baby Blues

SomersIsles

I don't know if this is PPD or what but LO will be 4 weeks on Thursday and I'm still having bouts of crying and anxiousness... Granted there are a lot of extenuating circumstances: 1) I'm very type A and not being in control is stressful for me, 2) I am still in a lot of pain and still fairly immobile so caring for LO is a bit more challenging 3) I generally don't do well with change 4) Every Tues & Thurs DH is stuck at work from 9am until 7pm... So I'm all by myself.

Is feeling this way nearly 4 weeks later normal?

I just get overwhelmed and lonely and weepy. I have moments where I reminisce about what life was like before I was a mom when I didn't have these responsibilities... Which obviously makes me feel awful for even thinking that way. I don't want company... I don't want to go do things. The only person I want to be around is DH

I just need to vent

wearebirds

I probably could have written this post! Yesterday I told DH that I felt like I was having the blues. I've had a rough recovery after the csection and I just want to be normal again. I feel like I haven't been able to really enjoy my baby girl.

I cried when DH had to go to work yesterday. Whenever I'm around other people I'm a bit anxious. Even over Easter at my aunts house I was overwhelmed. Ive really only been comfortable with DH around...even having my mom over makes me uncomfortable.

I've pushed through and today so far I've felt much better but I'm thinking it's going to vary day by day.

I don't quite feel like I have ppd...but I definitely think I need to watch out for it. I hope you get some good days in there soon!

Sanibel21

Sending you hugs! 

I don't know if it's PPD either, but I am happy to share my experience. My LO is 3 weeks 4 days. The first two weeks I would cry at everything. I was anxious, would think sad things, etc. As I started feeling physically better, I did little things like taking a walk, going for a drive (even when I don't think I want to). The days I do something like this, I am so much better. It's the days I don't get a good start and don't get out of the house that I get lonely, less optimistic, weepy. So unless you're having thoughts of harming your self, baby, etc., I would probably try to look towards the time when you're physically able to get up, and around, and out, as the light at the end of the tunnel. I wouldn't say I'm super excited to have company either, just my closest people, and only for short periods. I prefer to only be with LO and DH also, it's my new little family. Yet I still also reminisce about pre-baby life from time to time. It's a huge lifestyle change and I think it will take time to fully make the transition. So from what you've written, I think it's normal and also a bit situational (from your recovery standpoint). Accept where you're at, what you're feeling, and try to push yourself just a bit each day. 

wildhoney4508

Awe! I'm sorry!! I can relate with my first baby...have you shared your feelings with your DH? Is that helpful? Sometimes i share with my DH- just getting it out loud to him helps a lot! I think it's normal to feel high levels of anxiety because this is a new adjustment in your life. I found that talking to my counselor really helped me with coping techniques, tools I didn't really have a good grip on prior to motherhood. Is this feasible for you? It may or may not be something more

Edit: sorry...Hugs to you...I sometimes have it with this new baby as well (different kinds of anxiety because now there are TWO) also wanted to add that talking it out with a counselor (if you are open to that) can help you and you don't need to have a "diagnosis" for this.

Sorry this was all jumbled...I'm mobile and TB kept crapping out on me

CruiseGirl28

I know what you mean. I get randomly sad sometimes. I am a type a personality. I don't do anything on the fly, I plan/organize everything. But since I've been too busy and tired to plan a lot, I've been doing things on the fly. And I think I'm failing.

Also my mom and MIL have been amazing, and I've been getting daughter guilt some times. I know my mom would tell me that's ridiculous, but I keep thinking of everything she's done, and I feel bad.

Mrae87

I'm with ya sister.

My husband is in school FT and works, too, so I feel like a single parent most days! I am also super type A and want things to be just so. And, well, they aren't.

My Dr. wasn't worried. He said my hormones are out of whack so days here and there of crying and being emotional in general are normal!

akflutterby

Sorry you're still going through all this. Hubs and I don't live together during the week so it's all me all day and the slightest thing can send me into a crying jag (some of these happy family commercials will ruin my whole day). I think hormones are still raging and lack of control (schedules, routine, pre-baby life) just adds to the ongoing imbalance. I agree with PP about trying to get out. Maybe some vitamin d and some activity will shake off the funk. Good luck!

ETA: I know you can't do much activity since you're not healed yet, but maybe just getting out in the yard and soaking up some sun and tooling around won't overdo it for you.

kaking78

I hope it's normal because I'm still feeling a little off too. Last Saturday I was such a stressed out weepy mess that DH called into work. I'm still on restrictions too thanks to a slow recovery from my c-section. Cabin fever is definitely contributing to my moodiness.

sopranoali

I could have written this! I had a C-section and I've had a rough time. My husband is at school from 9 AM to 6 PM on Tuesdays and Thursdays. It's really hard to take care of her by myself for that long of a time without any help. I had a few weepy moments myself. I would definitely talk to your doctor but I'm at week six now and I'm feeling much better. Good luck with everything.

JenW1029

So sorry you're feeling this way. I had the exact same feelings for about the first 3-4weeks. I had a c-section, I'm very type A, and missed our "prior life". I feel like others don't understand unless they have the same feelings. I love my baby, but the emotions are certainly hard to deal with and make having a connection with the baby difficult. I can tell you that it does get better. Sleep can make a huge difference - if your husband works a lot but is available on the weekends to help I would have him spend time with the baby for 5-6hours so you can get some rest. The first day I was able to get 5-6hours (my mom came over to watch the baby) I woke up and felt 1000% times better. Also - taking a 10min walk outside is extremely helpful. Feel better and know that you're not alone! 

clo1982

I'm definitely not a medical professional but what you are going through sounds totally normal for first time parents! Caring for a child, getting used to less sleep, dealing with a fussy baby and healing from delivery are incredible stressful on their own...bundle them altogether and that is one big kick in the ass! Once you are in less pain get out of the house. Walk around the mall, go to the grocery store, go to a park. It passes the time, gets you and lo some fresh air and will help you feel human again! For now since you are healing just go sit outside with lo when it's nice. Even if it's chilly I bundle ds up and go outside so dd can play and it makes the day go so much quicker. We also go somewhere every day to break it up. When dd was born I would seriously call dh like 5 times and just ask when he would be home because I was bored and lonely. And honestly no matter how overwhelming it is caring for a NB, it's boring! It's a whole lot of sitting and if you are an active person, it is boring!! So going out helps to break up the sitting. Also the more you get out with the baby, the more comfortable you will get with it. It becomes less and less scary!

SomersIsles

Thanks everyone I guess one day... One hour... At a time

boymom312

I don't have any advice but you're not alone! I could have written your post except I didn't have the c-section. I'm 1 month in and still feel this way. At the few gatherings I've been to, I've handed off LO to others all day. Then at the end of the day I realize that I haven't held him at all. Then I think of what everyone else must be thinking about a mom that doesn't care and actually prefers to be baby free for the day. This shit is hard! All I can say!