Apparently we're all doing pregnancy wrong

laurblum

https://www.mommyish.com/2014/04/22/baby-plus-prenatal-curriculum

Does there really need to be such a thing as a "prenatal curriculum"? Should I have teachers over here talking to my fetus everyday? And I was foolish enough to believe my excellent taste in music was enough.. Damn. My baby is gonna be dumb, y'all.

spacepotatoes

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

awc1986

$150 for naturally derived sounds. Do they realise that I can sit outside and get those for free?

laurblum

spacepotatoes said:

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

Right. Don't let your baby bond with you by hearing your heartbeat. Instead listen to these different simulated ones!!! 

FlemDance

Well, shit. As a teacher you'd think I would have known about this "curriculum". Guess my kid is going to be a dumbass.

laurblum

@FlemDance What kind of mother are you?!!?! You should have been sitting all day reading classic literature to your stomach so that your baby can be born with the ability to read already. You failed. 

FlemDance

Damnit. I thought that babies learned by osmosis and that LO would just absorb the plethora of knowledge that I have running through my mind. Now you're telling me that this kid is going to pop out knowing NOTHING and I'm going to have to TEACH her things!? Fuck. 

Mimaloo

spacepotatoes said:

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

You get what you pay for. Free sounds = dumb babies. $150 manufactured sounds = baby geniuses!!!  Duuuhhhhhhh!!!!  

jenb_99

You peasants can stick to your lame lullabies, but I've been playing recordings of Hawking and Einstein lectures to my little genius.

bridetobe9132013

My mil asks my shower and I all the time if we talk to the baby so the baby will know our voices. She says we should be saying things like "hi this is your mom." I said "the baby will recognize our voices, whether we say hello to her or not". Its annoying!

bridetobe9132013

Omg...dh, not shower

sisterjanet

Mimaloo said:

spacepotatoes said:

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

You get what you pay for. Free sounds = dumb babies. $150 manufactured sounds = baby geniuses!!!  Duuuhhhhhhh!!!!  

All I can think is, science babies for the win!

sisterjanet

jenb_99 said:

You peasants can stick to your lame lullabies, but I've been playing recordings of Hawking and Einstein lectures to my little genius.

I've been playing "I'm Sexy and I Know It."  At least my kid will be confident?

laurblum

I've been listening to Queen. Luckily, my baby is dumb so during Bohemian Rhapsody when he's talking about killing someone, she doesn't know wtf is going on. 

usernewname

laurblum said:

spacepotatoes said:

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

Right. Don't let your baby bond with you by hearing your heartbeat. Instead listen to these different simulated ones!!! 

Silly. Baby won't recognize their mothers HB if its exposed to different simulations. Good try educational developers.

spacepotatoes

bridetobe9132013 said:

My mil asks my shower and I all the time if we talk to the baby so the baby will know our voices. She says we should be saying things like "hi this is your mom." I said "the baby will recognize our voices, whether we say hello to her or not". Its annoying!

That's hilarious! Baby hears you talking all day but won't recognize your voice if you don't specifically address her?

Mimaloo

sisterjanet said:

Mimaloo said:

spacepotatoes said:

Wait, so they want you to spend money on a "curriculum" that consists of sounds resembling a mothers heartbeat? Because what, our own heartbeats, that our babies can already hear for free, are not stimulating enough? WTF?

You get what you pay for. Free sounds = dumb babies. $150 manufactured sounds = baby geniuses!!!  Duuuhhhhhhh!!!!  

All I can think is, science babies for the win!

I heart this!

bridetobe9132013

@spacepotatoes... it drives me crazy that she asks EVERY time we see her. She also pointed out to me that when she had her babies, she didnt need any help. I said "oh well my family would be more than happy to help me if I need it" and then she offered to come over after. Now I dont even want her help.

bridetobe9132013

@spacepotatoes... it drives me crazy that she asks EVERY time we see her. She also pointed out to me that when she had her babies, she didnt need any help. I said "oh well my family would be more than happy to help me if I need it" and then she offered to come over after. Now I dont even want her help.

bridetobe9132013

Didnt mean to post twice!

pistolpackinmomma

Dude I just slap an Albert print diaper on my kid and call him a smartass. And DS will only listen to country music or Christmas songs. Guess we're doomed to have a redneck kid. Oh well, at least he'll fit in with the rest of us!

ErikaLynn75

My kid listens to me teach Algebra three times a day. So he'll totes be born ready for Calculus, right?

spacepotatoes

pistolpackinmomma said:

Dude I just slap an Albert print diaper on my kid and call him a smartass. And DS will only listen to country music or Christmas songs. Guess we're doomed to have a redneck kid. Oh well, at least he'll fit in with the rest of us!

Do you play the Redneck 12 Days of Christmas for him? If so, definitely doomed.