Babies: 0 - 3 Months
beccam1230
member
Very annoyed by the situation!
beccam1230
member
Hi all. This isn't so much of a question as a little bit of a vent. My son is just over six weeks old and my in laws were supposed to visit shortly after he was born. They never ended up coming because they assumed we would be at a wedding they would be attending when the baby was 2 weeks old. We informed everyone that we wouldn't be going because my husband and I weren't overly thrilled about passing him around all night to everyone at the wedding.
So since we weren't there, it seems the next chance they will be willing to see the baby is when he's 6 1/2 months old! And it will be when we go visit them!! I don't understand how they aren't anxious to see their first grandson. My problem is that my husband's sister is now pregnant and they seem to be making a huge effort to go visit her and plan everything for her. I understand them being excited to go through the pregnancy with their daughter but why should that mean they aren't involved with us or our baby? We have always told them they're welcome to visit anytime and we let them know what's going on, visited them when I was pregnant... etc. I think this really upsets my husband so it upsets me to see that his parents aren't as excited as he expected them to be.
On another note, at 6 months... How do babies react to people they don't know? He is my first child so I don't know this yet!
So since we weren't there, it seems the next chance they will be willing to see the baby is when he's 6 1/2 months old! And it will be when we go visit them!! I don't understand how they aren't anxious to see their first grandson. My problem is that my husband's sister is now pregnant and they seem to be making a huge effort to go visit her and plan everything for her. I understand them being excited to go through the pregnancy with their daughter but why should that mean they aren't involved with us or our baby? We have always told them they're welcome to visit anytime and we let them know what's going on, visited them when I was pregnant... etc. I think this really upsets my husband so it upsets me to see that his parents aren't as excited as he expected them to be.
On another note, at 6 months... How do babies react to people they don't know? He is my first child so I don't know this yet!
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Re: Very annoyed by the situation!
My IL's live in Arizona and we live in Colorado. It's really not a long flight, only 2 hours or so. They're only in their 50's and they do travel a fair amount. We have discussed going to see them sooner but my husband is out of town 4 days a week every week for work and typically, he works on weekends when my mil is off. The schedules usually conflict and she won't take time off work because she likes to bank her pto for the holidays.
I do know we weren't under any obligation to pass him around at the wedding but I was still so tired and adjusting to everything! I didn't feel like I had the energy to get on an airplane and explain to a million different people that we weren't happy passing him around.
I'm just trying to get opinions on this because obviously I'm pretty biased and I don't know if I should be doing more to arrange them meeting. Thank you :-)
My DH at first brushed it off... knowing how his brother is his' mother's favorite. However I could see how it really was bothering him. We sat down and had a real talk. (mind you I was kinda pissed that MIL would pick one child over the other!) I basically told DH to tell his mother how she felt.
DH called his mom and told her that he really wants his mom to meet the LO. It is our first child. His mom now knows how he feels and she now plans to come sooner. I guess she just needed a call to realized how she wasn't treating her sons equally.
The point being is, unless YH expresses his feelings to his parents they may not really know how he feels.
It still sucks, but at least this way you might feel better knowing that you have told them how you feel.