Be honest. Is this stupid?

skr1619

Okay, before I start, I know that a birth plan is supposed to be a guideline of sorts. I don't expect labor & delivery to go exactly how I want. 

So I was looking through The Bump's "Birth Plan" sheet that you can print out and use for your own birth plan. I like how it's separated into different categories but all the choices were overwhelming. PLUS, I don't want to be the crazy ass control freak patient that hands over this birth plan that's like 6 pages long and have the nurses judge the shit out of me.

So I was browsing Pinterest and came across this pin. Instead of a written out birth plan, they suggest using "birth icons". I like the idea. It has all the icons that I would use and it just seems to get the point across a lot quicker than having them refer back to a birth plan. But would it be stupid of me to put the icons on a small poster board and have it hang outside my door? Do you think the nurses will still roll their eyes at this instead of a novel birth plan? I'm honestly not asking for a lot. 

I don't know. I hear horror stories about how nurses talk major shit about patients that come in with this elaborate birth plan and make sarcastic comments about how it'll be the complete opposite of what their wishes are. I plan on bringing them cookies to help soften them up a little too. What do you guys think? Would you do this in place of a birth plan?

Ecomom17

I don't think it's stupid to have some sort of idea of what you hope to get out of the labor and what you want and don't want as far as meds, etc.  What I do think is silly is worrying about what the nurses might say about you.  Who cares?  They're there to help you through your labor.  Don't let them bully or shame or pooh-pooh you into doing something you don't want (assuming it's not truly unsafe for you or the baby, that is).

One of the nurses basically bullied me into not trying different positions during labor b/c I had an epidural.  I later found out that it is very possible to do that even with an epidural.  When you're in the middle of it you don't really realize what you can ask for, so inform yourself as much as possible going in.  This is why everyone who's a FTM should take a childbirth class.

1982Babies

Who gives a F what the nurses think?  They can roll their eyes all they want.  Don't be offended because of what hospital employees think.

Fletch82

Can you condense your plan to one page? I feel a shorter list will better ensure your wishes are reviewed and understood.  My hospital provided a one pager broken out by category that we just check off.  Also check what your hospital standards are; if you agree with them you may not have to list it on your plan.

But bottom line - do what feels right for you.

hope1017

So what exactly is in a birth plan? I'm a FTM and my plan is just to have a med free labor and delivery. When you said 6 pages I was shocked and curious as to what it contains.

pfeilele

To be honest, I think something hanging on your door is a bit much. But, do what makes you feel comfortable. I didn't even have a plan printed out - just the expectation that my husband would help voice what we wanted if necessary... So what do I know?!

skr1619

Thanks guys. That makes me feel better lol My list isn't long at all but I am adamant on a few things. I have my hospital tour next Sunday so I'll be able to see if me and the hospital are on the same page. I've heard great things about the hospital I plan to give birth at, so I don't think there shouldn't be too many differences. 

@hope1017 The bump had a birth plan checklist. Click here for the link. It was quite extensive and had things on there that I never considered before. 

unaveragejane

I think it is a good idea to read a couple of birth plans, especially if you don't plan to take a childbirth class, just so that you have some idea of the choices that are out out there. I personally didn't type one up. I talked to my OB ahead of time about what was considered normal operating procedure and if I wanted anything out of the norm. We were pretty much on the same page about everything and she had sound reasoning for anything that we may have differed on, so I didn't feel like I needed a written plan. The nurses were also good about asking what I wanted.

ETA If I did have a plan (written out or icons) I would want it inside my room, not in the hallway. For one, I'm not sure they would pay attention to it in the hall, and for two, that's private information IMO.

runrinserepeat

Honestly it sounds like a bit much imo. A short, written birth plan with a flexible attitude should be sufficient.

chevronseven

I did the checklist from TB and my MW liked it, she just asked me to put it in paragraph form and condense it to one page, which shouldn't be hard to do because not everything on there is important to me. The icons thing is a good idea too though!

Pinksundrops

Love the icon idea!! Gets the point across easily and quickly. Also, I agree, who cares what the nurses think. And if you have a rude one ask to switch to a different nurse. I had a nurse come back at me because I told her I didn't want my baby bathed. She said "I wish you would just trust me." Um NO this is MY baby, lady, not yours. Still remember that moment from 15 years ago! Fortunately, that was after labor and we went home shortly after so didn't have to deal with her more. May utilize your icon idea for my MW!

AMcLaws

They might side eye you, but who cares? When I went in to be induced with DD1, the nurse proclaimed me her "favorite patient" because my birth plan was "whatever the heck doctor says is the best course of action", because what did I know? (Note: I had a very rare tumor on my placenta, so I trusted my doc would truly know better.)

That being said, we had some experiences we care to not repeat this time, so we will have a few points that we'd like followed

darkangel42

Just the basics and realistic expectations should do, discussed in advance with your medical team if possible. I had a one-page birth plan with my first and it was completely ignored but that was in the UK where you basically get what you're given. Make a point of also saying aloud anything that is non-negotiable - such as medication allergies. If there's need for sudden action, they may not check your birth plan before doing something.

This time my plan is:

Go to birth centre, use birth pool, change positions at will, get baby out, have baby checked over, rest/cuddles/feeding then home. Drink water/clear juice as required throughout.

The midwives are completely on board with it, fine with being med-free, are aware of my allergies, gently encourage use of the birth pool and won't do anything to me or the baby unless A)I say it's ok or one of us will die if they don't.

Sticking a poster to the door seems a bit much but the icon idea could work

TallMomma29

I kind of think reducing it to icons could come off as a little belittling, but I'm not a nurse so I really don't know.

I also don't really get the point behind printing out a birth plan at all. To me, it seems easy enough to educate myself and DH on the options and our preferences, and then make sure to voice those preferences when necessary.

TRS48

I think it might be a little strange but trust me they've seen way worse, so if you want to do it, do it.

abchittam

Just a thought - my hospital had a birth plan checklist document on their website. The nurses are familiar with it, so it's a little easier on them. Maybe check to see if your hospital has one to make it easy on the nurses.

Not really sure I understood the icon thing you were talking about which is why I didn't comment on that.

Wrights22

I'm not really a fan of a written birth plan to hand over. Just tell them. You are an active participant and should be actively present in all decisions. Don't let nurses or anyone else sway what you want. You also have to take things as they come. So sometimes what you ideally want is not possible.

yurmom

I've never worked in OB so I not sure what the nurses are used to, but I'm sure they see a lot of birth plans.  I was asked when I was admitted if I had a "birth plan" (I did not not).  I think the icons/poster is a bit much.  Really though as long as you're a nice non-demanding decent human being the nurses will not have a problem with you.  

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[Deleted User]

I don't think the icons are necessary. Just a 1-page bulleted list or something simple. I didn't have a birth plan but if I did, I wouldn't want anything over-the-top. In my experience, the L&D nurses were all really helpful and had seen all kinds of births so they took good care of me and advocated for me to the doctors.

pantherRN

Before you make a big birth plan, find out what your hospital's standards and policies are.

Like @dlsexton said, as long as you are a decent person and polite, most nurses will honor your wishes and go to bat for you. You should never have to feel like you need to "fight" for the birth you want, but you also can't ask your nurse to disobey a policy or procedure. That's asking them to put their license on the line, which isn't cool no matter what it is you're trying to accomplish.

Educate yourself, find out what's important to you, and be prepared for it to change. A short bullet point list should accomplish everything you want.

Ylvelill

Love the outline of the birth plan from the bump. Not that i need all those things but I enjoyed reading through it and I am using it as a jumping off point to talk to my husband about what we want, especially in reguards to handling of the baby post birth.

The icons seem difficult to deal with and posting a board outside your room seems over the top. I am hoping I can verbally explain what I need and have my husband be my advocate if I am unable to speak.

Dutch Apple Pie

As long as you are open to changes when needed then take your plan however you want with you. You say in your post you see it as a guideline so I think you have the right idea. Just print it out however you want, stuff it in your bag and hope for the best.

Cute idea about the cookies but naw. They might not even be allowed to accept them or be on a diet or something like that. Next appointment just bring it up with your doctor/midwife. Let them go over it with you.

bewilderingstar

Okay a couple things:
1. The LDR nurses bitching and giving you 'tude for having a well thought out birth plan is unprofessional and unnecessary. They are getting paid to do their jobs so they can suck it up. Obviously a birth plan doesn't always go as plan but it's good for you to know what you want and it's good for them to know what you expect.

2. I think it's a great idea though there may not be a place to hang it unless you get one of those cool hanging wall clear thingies. You can always have hubby move it, if outside the door is deemed inappropriate by the hospital.

TugboatSheila

At our Childbirth Class the person teaching the class told us to bring a plan but make it only one page with a few things you really want/don't want for each of the following things: During Labor, During Delivery and Post-Partem.

I'm going to do that but a lot of the things that I really wanted (for example, I don't want him taken from my room for any reason, other than medical necessity) are now part of what the hospital does for all patients. 

I think you'll learn a lot on your tour that will help you shape your plan. I now don't have to include several of my preferences because the hospital we are delivery at just does them. 

ghostof5letters

A poster board with icons outside the door is pretty demeaning.

CaringMother69

Just go in there and give birth. You don't really need a plan. It's not that hard.

CaringMother69

Nice to meet you as well, I'm Susan.

chevronseven

symphony4586 said:

CaringMother69 said:

Just go in there and give birth. You don't really need a plan. It's not that hard.

Riiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhht..... oh by the way, nice to meet you, and you are?

Lol there's about a million variations of childbirth. To some people they might not make a difference since the end result is the same, but other people would really like their birth to be a special and personal experience. There might also be some standard procedures that we aren't comfortable with that we want to address ahead of time, like the atmosphere you want in the room, when to cut the cord, whether to allow bonding/breastfeeding before weighing and bathing, whether to administer eye ointment.... And sometimes it is actually hard and there are complications. If they arise, we want to be prepared for them and make our preferences known in case there is a choice to be made and you aren't in a condition to voice your wishes. Sorry but that just seemed like a rather ignorant statement, like childbirth is no big deal.

BBColt78

CaringMother69 said:

Just go in there and give birth. You don't really need a plan. It's not that hard.

%-(

OP, I didn't look at the icons but I get the idea. I agree that the icons are probably a little demeaning. I guess I only have one child, but I can say that my nurses were amazing. They do everything. I think being nice and just vocalizing what you want should go far. You can have the icons and the birth plan for you and your husband so you have something to stick to.

Birth plans scare me. I had one written up the first time and everything went out the window with each new issue and complication. Just be ready to be flexible if needed!

TwizzyG

As a L&D nurse, I think the icons are over the top, but if that's what you want, go for it. I wouldn't put them outside your door though for your own privacy. If you use them, put them up on the walls in your room. That way they are private, plus serve as a visual reminder for yourself what your goals for your labor and delivery are.

Personally, I just prefer a bulleted list of my patient's birth plan. It's nice for you to bring in at least 3 copies (but there are copy machines at the hospital, so your nurse can make more if you don't have extras). This way, a copy can be with you in the room and a copy can go in your chart, plus you have an extra. I know everything on a patient's BP is important to them, but try to bold or underline a few of your wishes that are especially important to you. This way, if everything doesn't go according to plan, maybe the staff can get creative in ways to make your top wishes happen.

I would recommend against just going in and trying to remember your plan, even with a partner that knows it too. Between pain and the many different things that can pop up during labor, you may not be in the right mindset to remember what you wanted, or something may have happened that you didn't want to, before you have a chance to interject.

Hope this helped!!

CaringMother69

Exactly what BBColt said. And before her. There are a million variations on what could happen. And odds are it will not go according to your birthplan AT ALL. Why stress yourself out? Things start going differently then planned and you'll start stressing. Seems unnecessary. Women have been giving birth for how long now? It will happen when it happens, and how it happens.

ghostof5letters

The icons still have explanations below and are identical for different things. Those are some pretty shitty icons

skr1619

LOL thanks guyzzzz. I read everyone's comments and the last thing I would want to do is demean my nurses.  With that said, I'll just stick to one page with short points. No icons - got it. 

@TwizzyG I'm so glad you commented on this. I really wanted to get a L&D nurse's perspective. That was really helpful to get your input and it just solidified my plan to just stick to one page. 

Again, thanks my homies. Y'all are the bomb.com