Any advice is appreciated.

Princess_Lily

so as you know I've been struggling for a while with my emotional state, whether that is PPD or sleep deprivation, irregardless there is a problem.

For the past two days I have been trying to keep positive and happy and it seems to be improving a bit. DH and I have been struggling though to connect again.

He wants me. I want him. The logistics of making magic happen are difficult. DD has to be napping and DS has to be playing. DD rooms in with us, and I don't trust DS to be 100% alone with her since he does have a tendency to try to wake her sometimes. We have a 2/2 and 1000sqft, its hard to find time to be alone.

Now both kids are asleep by 830p. Do we make love then? I have no idea how to reconnect to each other - he is reaching out to me to reconnect and as you know I'm holding on by a thread to not be overwhelmed.

Is this common findings since our children are so young? Idk. Any advice is appreciated here.

megswen

I read this today and thought it was an interesting read! I've been having the same problem (I want to reconnect with him, but I don't know how, and most of the time I'm just not in the mood). Although I haven't tried this yet, it seems like it would work really well. Baby steps!

https://fiercemarriage.com/15-second-kiss-experiment

mskatiep

Personally I would try to make a point to be affectionate during the day. Cuddle as you are feeding baby, pause for a hug and kiss as you pass each other in the kitchen, grab his ass as he bends to pick something up ect. Remind each other that you are not just roommates and are actually lovers.

I know it can be awkward to initiate affection when it has been awhile. If night time is the only time to make love then go for it. I don't have 2 kids, but normally the only time we have to "reconnect" is before bed.

Expect to be emotional afterwards. I cried when we made love the first time after baby because I was just so happy to be both emotionally and physically connected again. Good luck!!

Edit: somehow I forgot paragraphs!

beka2525

I picked up a book a few weeks PP titled "Sexy Mamas" by Cathy Winks and Anne Semans. It discusses rediscovering our sexuality as moms and feeling desirable while keeping up with so many demands. 

inlove0509

I can also relate to this!! It's been very tough reconnecting with DH after baby arrived. Only recently (DD is almost 6 months) have I had enough energy to begin flirting a bit with DH during the day and then as soon as the kids go down around 8pm, we jump on our couch to cuddle and watch an episode of a netflix show and then we talk afterwards. This helped me connect again with him so that DTD could happen again. But, it also helps that my resentment toward DH is melting now that he is no longer afraid of handling the baby and is helping out more!

Not trying to be such a grammar stickler, but I think u meant to say "regardless" rather than "irregardless". Both the "ir" and "less" mean "without" so irregardless is a double negative and therefore not a word. Just use regardless hope it's ok I said that!

sarenu1

We also have a 2 bedroom house and two kids. Are you planning to have them room together?

I'd start having them sleep in the same room at this point. My son is just under 5 months and this last week we've started rooming them together.

We started with small steps. I nurse him in our bedroom and my husband gets our toddler to bed. Then I move him to the crib in her room. Last night I even got him to nurse and go back to sleep in the crib until 3am.

If you bed share this may cause some anxiety the first few nights, but you can take it slow and bed share some of the night. Even if it only works for a few hours at the beginning of the night it is so liberating to have my room back.