Not leaving baby with others will make her shy ?!

NenaMarie84

Lately my parents have been telling me I need to leave LO with family members or friends so that she gets used to being with other people and not to be totally attached to me.  She's 11 weeks old right now and has only stayed with my parents once while DH and I went out for supper.  I haven't felt the need to leave her with anyone else (she's been alone with DH a few times while I ran errands) and I'm just trying to enjoy all the time with her I can.  I take her to play groups, to "play dates" with friends and their LO's, to other family members houses, out running errands, etc...so I'm socializing her lots and I feel by doing that she won't be shy to go to others as she gets older.

Has anyone else had people tell them this? Or any STM's experience LO's being shy because of not staying with others? I know every baby is different but just wondering what other's experiences have been. Thanks!

SandFHasse

DD used to stay with my IL's every day from the time she was 6 weeks old until she was 6 months old because of my work schedule. Now she's with me every day. I don't think it has made her shy. She waves at people and says hi to people. She is shy with some people, but I don't think it's a bad thing.

I lost my train of thought because she's making me look at the vacuum. When I remember I'll edit my post.

CopperT0p

DS1 didn't go to daycare until 1 year old, and he didn't spend any overnights away from me until about 2 years old.  He is the most outgoing kid I know now at the age of 3.  He is constantly talking to strangers and asking people questions.  I worry sometimes that he is a little too outgoing and has no sense of stranger danger yet.  There have been a couple times where he has gone up to a stranger and hugged them or tried to hold their hand.  

thegosiers

I have heard this theory, but not as young as 11 weeks.  I think if you are bringing her to friends' houses, etc. so she sees and hears different people, and gets held by a few different people, that's all that is needed for this age.  As she gets older and more aware of others you can focus on play dates, day care/preschool or extended time with sitters/grandparents/etc.

Right now is her time to bond with you, so bond away!

km_md

I think that the important thing is getting in the socialization, which you are doing. And it is harder for kids who stay home with a parent for a few years and then go to a daycare or school but they usually adapt in time.

I've left DD with my mom a couple hours a week since she was 2 weeks old because I'm in school and she still hates when I leave her. Some of it just depends on the temperament of the child too.

If it were me, I wouldn't worry about what they are saying to you.

mkat10414

I agree that it all depends on the child. When I was little, I had 3 different babysitters all of whom watched multiple kids...I'm still shy to this day. DD will be 14 wks on Saturday and hasn't had any problems staying with the sitter or my parents. Who knows how she'll be in a couple years though? I wouldn't worry too much about it

cpm1223

I don't really think it would make him or her shy... But I have babysat for kids before who rarely have a sitter and when their parents leave they flip their shit because theyre not used to being watched by anyone besides their parents. Ive left LO with my mom, mother-in-law, sister-in-law etc. to run out and do errands every now and then so that LO will get used to be hanging out with someone other than me and H.

growingmybun

I'm a STM and I think that multiple caregivers force your child to be flexible, which is a nice feature in a toddler.

Miisskrisssy

I was a daycare kid from the time I was an infant... I had plenty of social interaction and I did softball, gymnastics and dance as I got older. To this day I am shy and have social anxiety. It went away after high school for a little bit (thanks, alcohol) but came back full force when I moved cross country. I think it depends on the kids temperament.

My son has been left with my MIL & my mom. He's fine with my mom or dad, but freaks out at the in laws. No idea why, it's just the way it happens.

RedSoxGirl10

I also think shy would be the wrong word, however your LO might just get to the point where you are the only one who can calm her. As the PP said, she will not be as flexible
That being said, your parents prob just want alone time with their granddaughter and don't have actual basis for their opinions ha ha