If you ever BFed...

linzeek44

As y'all might already know, I've been working on my breastfeeding counselor training every night and am almost finished. Woot. 

I have to start thinking about what kinds of supports I'm going to work on, so I want to know what was helpful for you or what was NOT helpful for you when you were breastfeeding or thinking of breastfeeding. 

Did you take a breastfeeding class while pregnant? Was it helpful? What did you want to learn/know about?

Did you go to a support group? Was it helpful? What did you like/not like about it?

If you needed breastfeeding support, how would you prefer to get it? Emails? Phone? Skype? In person?

(The difference between what I'll be doing and what LLL does is that BreastfeedingUSA doesn't take a stance on parenting topics- just breastfeeding. So I can do themed meetings if I choose, but it won't be about parenting topics that aren't breastfeeding related.)

I'd really appreciate any and all thoughts y'all can share. I'm hoping I can get good ideas from y'all and narrow down some options and then survey people locally.

MrsKipper

I did zero research on breastfeeding when I was pregnant. We did a parenting class but the week they covered BFing was the night I had to go into the hospital. Without the help of the LC at the hospital, my sister who had just weaned her son a few months prior and kellymom I would have been lost.

I went to a nursing moms group and mommy and me which had LCs available to talk to. It was helpful if I had little questions that weren't an immediate concern. Once I got the hang of things I really didn't have too many issues but I much prefer to consult someone in person or over the phone.

Hope that helps!

hmp1

I went to a class at the hospital, it was a package deal of 3 classes of my choosing. The breastfeeding class was a former nurse at the hospital that was a full time LC now. She offered continual free support following the class or you could pay a one time fee for her "support" if you didn't take the class.

She was really great. She offered a hospital consultation following birth, and/or visit you in your home. She came to my house a couple of times and left a weight scale for me to borrow so I could do before and after feedings weight and email her my results.

I really appreciated that even though she fully supported BFing, I never once felt pressure from her to not supplement and she never made me feel guilty over my decision to stop BFing.

LyndseylovesHugh

I took a class that was very helpful and I saw two different LC. I will say the thing that stands out to me was a negative, so more of a what not to do. I had to supplement in the beginning because dd was not wetting diapers so clearly was not getting enough from me in the early days. The first LC I saw made me feel like absolute crap for giving her formula and pretty much told me both myself and the doctor were wrong and stupid for thinking that it was necessary and that I probably ruined my supply forever because if it. I left her office in tears and a year and a half later her behavior still upsets me.

I went to a different LC after that and she was great, never made me feel bad for doing what I had to do to ensure my baby was thriving and did a great job on focusing on what we could do and how she could help me reach my personal goal.

Not sure if that's the type of thing you are looking for, but it's what stands out most in my mind. As for the class I took, they did a really great job helping partners understand how they can be supportive and help the new mom, I really liked that aspect.

MarisaKathleen

I didn't take a class.

I met with 3 LC's in the hospital.  Nancy wouldn't latch.  It was terrible.  

Looking back now, I should have taken the class at the hospital.  That's what I plan on doing this time around.

hmp1

Oh and when my LC came to my house, she had a slew of things with her that one might need. She gave me a nipple shield from her goody bag and it made a world of difference in BFing James.

linzeek44

(I'm loving your posts for your advice, not for your negative experiences.)

Just wanted to clarify so I don't seem like a jerk. 

Mean LCs and missing nip chunks are not things I love. 

Holly_1007

I have two different breastfeeding experiences:
firstly, with keagan, i didnt take the breastfeeding class. The LC in the hospital pushed a pump on me even though I really didnt need it, and she never even encouraged me to try nursing without a nipple shield, so i found her unhelpful. the most helpful thing for me was an outside LC that I sought out after discharge, the breastfeeding group on TB. My LC was able to talk to me over email and FB (and offered over skype, but i didnt need that much help) she also met me in office.

with Colby, I again sought out the same LC who communicated with me in person and over e-mail. My in-hospital LC was helpful, but by the 2nd time around i was more knowledgeable as well and able to better advocate for what i wanted (to not use a pump or nipple sheild) I went to a breastfeeding support group twice with Colby (in case you dont remember, we REALLY struggled to BF) I felt that the support group was helpful, but most of the moms that were there, needed one on one attention and the LC had a hard time helping all of us. The support group was led by the LC's at the hospital from my first birth.

I know there is nothing you can do about this, but my insurance only covered 1/4th of my LC visits, so I ended up paying a lot out of pocket in order to get help. Thankfully my LC was able to follow up via e-mail and FB for free, but I know that the out of pocket costs detered me from getting help earlier.

thebanich

I honestly thought nothing about feeding the child before she got here. When they asked what my plans were I just said "breastfeeding" (like duh, its easy right?!?!?!) I was such an idiot and should definitely have taken a class.


The LC with DD was fine but she made me feel weird about the whole process. She was a little too in my face about how DD latched and how I should hold her. I could never get the hang of the football hold and to this day don't know why that woman cared about it so much. 

The LCs with DS were awesome. He wouldn't/couldn't latch and they got me a pump ASAP and talked through feedings with a syringe until he got the hang of it. 

MRoxy0628

Yes, we took a breastfeeding class at the hospital and I found it very helpful.  One of the messages I took away from it was that while BFing is natural, that doesn't mean it's easy.  I think hearing what to expect and knowing it might be hard was helpful to me. I wanted to know everything about BFing from that class as it was really my first experience learning about it. 

After I had Lily, there was a LC who came to see me in the hospital a few times before I left and that really helped.  I also had weight checks every few days at her pediatricians office and the NPs I saw there were also LCs.  My experiences were all positive.  I did not go to a support group, but I had a lot of friends who were also new moms and my best friend is a nurse and mother, so she gave me a lot of advice/support as well. 

My most difficult times were with cluster feeding.  Despite having learned about it and knowing it would happen, it was still really hard, so I think support during that time is important.  I think in the beginning stages, I really needed to see someone in person to reinforce the proper latch, but once I got the hang of things, I would be okay with phone as well. 

melody921

I took a one-night class before I had DS. Honestly though, it wasn't that helpful bc I feel like a lot of breastfeeding tips need to be given when you're actually doing it, not planning it out. After I had DS, there were LCs in the hospital, and they were great about helping with latch and positioning. I also consulted with one of them via email and phone in the couple of weeks after DS' birth when we had some issues. I was part of a BFing support group too, but I felt a little out of place there. Many of the moms were months into BFing and I didn't feel I got a lot of good advice on working through problems -- DS was a lazy latcher, he preferred the bottle to me and I couldn't ever seem to pump enough to keep up with him. The LC who ran the group was very enthusiastic, but definitely came at it from an all or nothing approach to BFing. A month into going back to work, I ended up weaning DS to formula bc he was screaming at every feeding and I was stressed. What I could have used, but no one suggested it until a few years after, was someone to tell me that I could have done a blend of BFing and formula.

My experience with DS shaped how I approached feeding DD. I was extra committed to BFing, pumped and froze milk like it was my job bc I knew the fear of running out. I went back to the support group again and maybe it was bc it was a different group of women, or maybe it was that I had grown in my own thinking and experience, but I had a MUCH better experience. I got answers to questions, suggestions that worked, and the leader actually didn't seem as militant regarding BFing being the only way. That more relaxed approach gave me the confidence that DD and I were doing fine. What I also loved about the group was the interaction with other moms and the chance to get peer support as well as professional LC support. I became friends with a few of those moms, and I may never have met them otherwise. So I definitely prefer in-person to phone or email consults.

tyrannasaurusjess

When I had DS1, I took a class at the hospital, but it was a general birthing class so only a very small portion covered breastfeeding. I was 17 and had no clue what I was doing, and was probably too embarrassed to ask much at the hospital, but I knew I wanted to breastfeed. My mom had had my youngest brother 20 months before and that was what she did, and I really didn't know that people formula-fed newborns, because I really only knew what I'd seen.  After Cole was born, my mom scheduled a LC to come to the house like once a week (maybe more, maybe less, I really don't remember now) and she was a huge help. I don't think I could've/would've BF as long as I did without her help, so I would say the one-on-one in the privacy of my home was huge. It was also a little bit out-of-the-norm situation, too, so that played a huge part I'm sure.

With Jasper I wasn't so embarrassed about my pregnancy, so I went to a breastfeeding support class once a week, though we didn't have any issues so it might've just been more to get out of the house. It was really reassuring, though, to be able to weigh him before and after to know how much he was getting, as well as to have people to commiserate with during times of cluster feeding and such. 

watercolor5

I took a breastfeeding class offered through the hospital I delivered at.  It was kind of a flop because the instructor was super late and then rushed through the material.  I think before I ever breastfed, I was just scared I wouldn't be able to position my baby correctly to latch, esp when she was a brand newborn.  I looked at all the pictures and descriptions of the positions. 

When I actually had issues, I used the lactation consultant through the same hospital.  If the issues are latch related, I'd definitely prefer to get help in person than on skype or email or phone.  This also helps if you don't know why something isn't working.

Having breastfed two babies now, I should have been more concerned with other issues that pop up, like avoiding mastitis, clearing a clogged duct, what to do when supply drops, building a good stash, etc rather than focusing on just position.  Because of this, I think probably support groups, or groups of experienced moms or currently BFing moms mixed in with expectant mothers would have been far more helpful than just a group of expectant mothers with no idea what questions to ask.

HTH.

DianeD1

I didn't take any specific breast feeding classes while pregnant. I took a child birthing class which briefly touched on the subject. Mainly, if you want to breast feed make sure everyone and their mother knows it so the don't give the baby formula. I didn't go to a support group after because I was afraid I'd feel awkward. I know that's silly but I just didn't have enough info/do enough research on a group to go to one. The lactation specialist did come to my room and talk to me, give tips and showed techniques every day I was in the hospital. I loved her and she was very supportive. That was extremely helpful having someone show me with Nate how to get him to latch correctly, eat. My main problem when breast feeding was it HURT the first month or two. Nate's latch was great and he was a great eater but he was very eager when he would first latch on and it took a long time to get used to it. He latched with a vengeance and was a quick eater, so that combo was something I had to learn about. I had great friends who introduced me to cooling gel pads that were a life saver the first few weeks. That was where I went if I had any questions (mainly about the aim). Othe then that I didn't have any real issues. The only other struggle was going back to work and pumping, but I had friends who EP so they were able to answer questions if I had any.

Flamingemu

I took a class, but like others, it wasn't as helpful prior to actually breastfeeding. It did give me great sources of information though. I had an LC come see us in the hospital and had it set in my mind that 15 mins no more from one side, then switch.

L & I had a TON of weight issues in the beginning. She was so tired all the time she would fall asleep while nursing. I legit had to feed her while she was naked for a month and a half. It was the only way she would stay awake. I never followed up with an LC outside of the hospital about it because I hate using the phone to talk to people (hard of hearing) and didn't seek out in person classes because I wasn't comfortable in the group setting.

Having someone to email and not force a phone call on me would have been great.

AKB090609

All I did before baby was born was bookmark kellymom, I think that most of my support came from here as I didn't know about anything local until after we were going really strong.

Hyaline

Didn't do a class or anything beforehand, just read up on my own, but we did take advantage of the (free) LC visit in the hospital.  Honestly, DD was a champ BFer and I didn't really need any help--and maybe there's something to be said for not overthinking and overworrying about the whole process. (I'm not saying that if you struggle, it's because you're overthinking, just that I noticed some friends wanting to understand the kind of logistics and have a certain control over BFing that you kind of have to relinquish.)  Still, two things did stand out to me:

1) The LC was non-pushy about "which hold" was the best, but did introduce me to side-lying and made me feel comfortable using that for nighttime feedings.

2) There's tons of advice that says "if it hurts, you're doing it wrong."  This was NOT TRUE for me, and it drives me nuts looking back realizing how much I fretted that I was doing something wrong when, in fact, my nips just needed to toughen up a little.

Not my experience, but after watching a friend struggle with a baby who couldn't gain weight and low supply, and I'm pretty sure it was because of the rigid feeding schedule she tried to impose from the get-go (she says this, not me), helping women understand, for lack of a better term, relinquishing control a little in the BFing relationship.  Because it is a relationship.  It's not you feeding your kid on your terms--it's a complex relationship between you, your body, and the baby.

diskogurl

This is super cool and something I would love to do. I went to a few support meetings that the LC at the hospital I delivered at offered. It was around 7 months. When LO was a week old I called a lactation support person and got phone advice. Everything before pregnancy was from books.

Holly_1007

I want to add that the reason I didn't go to the breast feeding class beforehand was because it wasn't at a convenient time. DH and I were working opposite shifts. I had to take the new baby class by myself and that was awkward enough for me to not want to take another class by myself. The hospital offered a daily breast feeding class while you were there, but conveniently that was the exact time both days that the nurses chose to do their 20 point assessment on me and the baby. So I missed it both days.

ellebee2

I haven't read any of the other responses yet, but here are my thoughts/answers.

We did a prenatal class that covered BFing (like one hour or so where we practiced different positions with dolls, and talked about the benefits and where to find support). 

After S was born, we were having latch issues, so went to the public health unit and a nurse assisted a bit. Then I watched some of the Dr Newman (???) videos. And it 'worked itself out'. 

I would've loved to have access to email or phone support as at times (especially in the early days/weeks) I found it quite overwhelming to get out of the house. Then as S got older, it seemed that every support group, etc fell during her nap time. 

Hope this helps. If I think of anything else, I'll pop back in and add. 

PenelopePond

I was never told about any classes being offered, so I never took one. In hindsight, I should have looked into it more.

With Ethan, the hospital never once mentioned breast feeding to me. 1.5 days after he was born I asked if I was suppose to try. They brought me nipple shields and told me to go for it. It failed. I was an EPer for five months.

With Sean I was at a different hospital. This one was very pro breast feeding. The nurses would randomly show up in my room and expect me to show them how I was doing it. I didn't know how and got very frustrated. Then they called a LC for me. She showed up in the middle of the photography session and had me take me top off and try all kinds of things. She touched my breasts and smashed Sean's face into them. I was soooo uncomfortable I wanted to cry. I'm not sure she even introduced herself. She went from a total stranger to touching my breasts in maybe three minutes. I hated it. After many problems, I pumped and dumped for two months then quit.

Things I would have loved: access to a class (it may have been there, but I'm not sure), a person to just talk to about things, I think email or skype is a great idea!!, house calls could be cool too. I think most importantly, just someone to present the facts and not be pushy. The women who "helped" me made it obvious that they thought it was superior to formula and that it should be easy.

I'm not sure if I answered your question at all . Ha. Congrats, I'm sure you'll be wonderful!

bosha711

I BFed DS to 14.5 months & DD to 18 months.

While PG with DS, I took a class our hospital offered. It wasn't very helpful, but one of the videos they showed showing babies latching properly was helpful.

My NJ moms board I've been on forever was helpful in that I had been reading others' BFing posts for many years before getting pg myself .

My two older sisters who had also BFed were helpful to me. My sister taught me to make my fingers in the shape of a scissor & put that around my nipple/areola to help give the baby a better target to aim for.

The baby nurses in the hospital once I delivered were LCs & they were very helpful too. At first it was like I needed extra hands to get DS positioned & latched properly. They were those extra hands!

But overall, the biggest source of info for me was this website: https://newborns.stanford.edu/Breastfeeding/
 Someone on my NJ moms board shared it a long time ago. I studied the videos hardcore while PG! Some people might side eye me for it, but I was dead set on being able to BF & that is just my personality to be overly prepared!

kelbel527

The best experience I had with a LC was one who was laid back and understood that BFing is hard and exhausting.  

I called her up, near tears, because I was sleeping for only an hour at a time.  DS1 had lost a lot of weight after birth and his pediatrician wanted him to eat every 2 hours, even at night.  It also took DS1 almost an hour to eat.

Her answer was simple, don't drive yourself crazy counting the hours (I had an alarm waking us up every 2 hours).  It sounds dumb and obvious, but I was a new mom, exhausted and worried about my baby not gaining weight.  She gave me solutions to help with my own sanity.  Let him sleep one 3-4 hour stretch and then just try to feed him more during the day...etc.

Anyway, tl;dr, I just loved that she made a good sounding board and talked me down when I was exhausted.

cmumama

I didn't read any of the responses, but I only lasted 5 months.  I would've loved to have known more about helping my supply - what to eat, supplements, etc.

I took a breastfeeding class when pregnant with DS1 and didn't find it very helpful.  For me, I need to be in the moment.  The info just didn't stick with me since he wasn't even born yet. I learned the most from meeting with an LC through my pediatrician's office. 

LLL scares me.  I've always been intimidated to ever even contact them.  They seem like too much to me. 

Oh, and with this one I'll be returning to work.  I'd love to continue nursing (given that all goes well) and not just quit b/c I'm back at work.  At the end of the day though, I know I'm going to be lazy and I'll take the easy way out.  With working and taking care of 3 kids, I know I won't have the energy to go to extremes.

Stasi

I breastfed for about 2.5 months and the pumped and supplemented for a month before going FF.

Kate struggled to latch right away because I had smallish, flat nipples. I was brought a nipple shield within 1 hour of Kate being born and told to use it. It was the worst decision ever and I still get upset and sad that it happened. Long story short, I was never able to get off the shield, Kate hated latching without it and it eventually caused my supply to dwindle. 

My LCs at the hospital were understaffed and always getting calls to help the next person (whether they had recently given birth, or were coming in for a consultation). I always had "5 minutes" to show them what I was doing and get guidance when I was in the hospital right after I had Kate…so stressful, I felt like I needed more one on one time.

Afterward, when Kate was struggling to nurse and we were still using the nipple shield, I went for two or three appointments. They would do the typical weight in, watch her nurse for 15 minutes or so on each side, and then weigh her….

The only thing that bothered me was that I never got concrete advise. They were always very vague, saying things like, "yeah, her latch is fine, I guess just keep trying to get rid of the nipple shield." I felt like I needed a solid game plan, something I could follow as a guideline when I was home alone…of course, I didn't know how to ask for that at the time because I was a hot emotional wreck for the first two months of Kate's life and couldn't even think clearly.

linzeek44

These experiences are so helpful to me. Thank you so very much for all sharing what was helpful and what wasn't!

AlinnJo

So I was a naive one and thought breastfeeding was natural so it should be easy. My sister was breastfeeding her 18 month old when LO was born and all through my pregnancy she would tell me how easy and wonderful it was. It wasn't for me, at least in the beginning. 

Our small hospital didn't have a LC and they were understaffed with nurses when Q was born. I didn't realize I should be trying to feed her every 2 hours. So dumb. I think that was the start of our problems in the beginning. 

When I got home, she would latch ok but then as the days went on she got worse. I know now when my milk came in I had a really strong let down and a lot of milk. She couldn't latch because I was so full. When she was 4 days old I couldn't get her to latch and eat for almost 6 hours. I called the hospital and the nurses told me to come in. An awesome nurse took me into a room with a hand pump and pumped a little out of one side for me (awkard) and then popped Quinn right on my breast. She recommended pumping for a little first and then Latching Quinn. She was so reassuring and helpful. I am grateful for her. 

Pumping first was so exhausting. I had to pump first and sometimes it worked and other times she still struggled. When I would give up and give her a bottle, she would suck it down and I would feel awful. I'm amazed I was so determined and didn't give up. I called the LLL consultant in my area and she while she wasn't super helpful over the phone she was ever calm and understanding.  She said the first 6 weeks were the hardest and it would get easier. She was right. 

I wish I would have know that breastfeeding would be the HARDEST "easy" thing I've done. It was so exhausting, it hurt, it took up all my time and made me so worried. I WISH I had someone checking in with me and offering encouragement and support. It did take about 6 weeks and then something clicked with both of us. Kellymom and The Leaky Boob were very helpful resources. 

I hope this is what you were looking for. Quinn is almost 19 months and she is still breastfeeding twice a day. You are a very calm and supportive person andI think you will be absolutely awesome at this!! 

redneckmomma25

I have no idea if or what could have helped me to continue to breastfeed. There were a few things that made it difficult for me.

I had inverted nipple as a child so already they were short and not really conducive. I was given a shield but didn't use it. I have no idea how G's latch was. I never got to a stage where I felt I could even ask for help. I could not make it past the pain. I just thought if I could make it to the 2 week mark it would start to get better and if there was still an issue I would see an LC. I could not make it to the 2 week mark. The pedi asked me to nurse the baby at her appointment t at 13 days and I just could not do it. My milk wouldn't let down because of the pain so G wasn't getting hardly anything. There were chunks of my nipple missing. It hurt so bad. The pedi got a bottle of formula and fed the baby while I balled in the office. She said I could pump and supplement until the pain was better. I was mentally over bf. I was done emotionally. I wouldn't leave the house for fear I'd have to feed the baby or something.

I'd like to give it another try with the next but I'm not sure where to start to be better equipped.

ETA: almost 19 months later and it still brings me to tears to tell the story.

jenmbott

hmmm I think if I had one one one attention and the nurses assured me that I was doing it right I would have felt a little better.  I did make it to five months bfing and then had to EP due to lots of teeth and biting.  But in the beginning I was a spazz because DD never ate as long as all the websites recommended and her latch never looked right.  I finally self assured myself that I must have been doing something right because she was gaining weight at an appropriate pace.  I also hated that the nurses in the hospital told me that 'it won't hurt of you are doing it right'.  

Bighair12

I breastfed for 14 months.  We took a breastfeeding class through the hospital that I work at.  MH came with me and he was super attentive and asked a ton of questions.  I knew that I wanted to breastfeed and was sort of a freak about it.

I used the lactation consultants at the hospital a few times and greatly appreciated their help with technique and help with my pump.

The one thing I hear the most from people that I work with that have babies especially that work long shifts like nurses is how to pump and get your colleagues to let you.  I know a lot of people that quit because they couldn't find time at work.  

I was adamant about pumping every 3 hours where my boss understood me but some don't.  Good luck with your breastfeedingusa.  I am so jealous!

bosha711

Another thing I wanted to mention was for me, having a supportive husband contributed to my success. He helped me get set up for each feeding at first, and would help me with my cup of water bc I was always so thirsty while nursing!

But even before that, he made me go to the breastfeeding meeting at the hospital that was offered each morning during my stay in L&D. I didn't think I needed to go bc I am pretty stubborn. He asked the nurse if he could go by himself & she was like, umm, no, it's for the moms! Lol. So I ended up going & while that lady made me feel like shit, the video she showed was a good refresher on technique.

MH also went out & bought me a nipple shield when one side was cracked & bleeding & I was again too stubborn to admit I needed help!

Flamingemu

bosha711 said:

Another thing I wanted to mention was for me, having a supportive husband contributed to my success. He helped me get set up for each feeding at first, and would help me with my cup of water bc I was always so thirsty while nursing! But even before that, he made me go to the breastfeeding meeting at the hospital that was offered each morning during my stay in L&D. I didn't think I needed to go bc I am pretty stubborn. He asked the nurse if he could go by himself & she was like, umm, no, it's for the moms!

 

__________

This times 100. If it weren't for DH being supportive I would have switched to formula when L hadn't gained more than a few ounces her first month of life. He encouraged me to keep trying and helped with syringe feeding to make sure she was getting enough.

miss50

I'd suggest literature for husband's or others involved about how to be supportive. My DH thought I was insane. He had never been exposed to it and to this day makes him feel really uncomfortable. I'm sure I could have continued a little longer with a little bit more comfort from him.

Show savings from formula cost. That was huge to me. And that was only 4 months or so.

And finally, I'll never say BFing was easy, but for me I loved not having to get up and make a bottle in the middle of the night. Having the "tap" at my disposal really made sleeping much more doable.

Without you folks, I'm not sure I ever would have breast fed.

ellebee2

I thought of something else.... and I'm not sure how it fits into the "philosophy", but what would have been hugely helpful to me was to encourage bf, while still maintaining 'do what works'. The nurses that I dealt with were very much "all or nothing" and didn't really have any good info/support on supplementing or really even pumping/bottle feeding. I was so fearful that if I gave DD a bottle before 6 weeks, she would refuse BF. And then when I tried to give her one, she wouldn't take the bottle. Ever. 

I would've loved to have some more info/support on how I could pump and/or supplement properly so that perhaps DH could take on one of the night feedings. I felt so tied to DD for the first 6 months-ish that I never really was away from her for more than an hour, and that wasn't super great for my mental health. 

I am very proud that we were able to BF for 15 months... but those early days were damn hard. And it seemed to me that it was all boob all the time, or wean and switch to FF. I am positive that there are happy mediums!

Also - what @jennmbott said about the 'it won't hurt if you are doing it right'. That made me rage-y, and also second guess everything I was doing for the first couple weeks.