So mad/sad I can't think ... RANT

LaDyBostonRN

So I work in the city but live in the suburbs. I take a commuter rail train to the T train to get to my job every day. The commuter rail is on a schedule (6:30pm, 6:50 and 7:45pm). Today there was a disabled T train and I waited 50 minutes to get on one to take my commuter rail train home. I missed all the early trains and the next train isn't until 7:45. I won't be home until 8:30 after working a 10 hour shift and I have to be up at 5am tomorrow. Im pregnant and starving. I called DH and asked him if I could just stay on the T train I was on and he could drive 20 minutes to come get me (he's home already). He refused. He said he sat in 3 hours of traffic today and doesn't want to drive again. He's been sick with a sore throat but still, I feel like he should come get me. I called my parents, they said the same thing and I know my dad wouldn't even think about it and would immediately get my mom. I don't know if I'm hormonal but I cried the whole train ride here over it. Am I being irrational?

victoria+james

It's a bit rediculous that nobody can come get you - but its only 1 day... if it was going to be like that for a week I'd expect DH to come get me.

Emerald27

I'm so sorry. I used to live in DC and was subject to all sorts of rail work and disabled trains. It's a huge pain, and I can't imagine how exhausting while pregnant! Hopefully you were able to sit while waiting for the T?

Hopefully DH will have a yummy dinner ready for you when you get home, and you can just climb into bed right away. Dishes and housework can wait. Take care of yourself tonight!

pinkshades05

I'm sorry you're dealing with that You should stop on the way home and get yourself something good to eat.

LaDyBostonRN

Thanks guys. I was able to get a milkshake to hold me over! It helped stop the tears too.

MrsL2B

I'd go pick up my husband without a second thought, so I'd definitely be irked if he wouldn't do it for me. Especially if I had worked that long and were starving. I'm sorry you're having a sucky evening.

BeckyH05

I'm sorry you are having a rough commute. That really sucks. Glad you found a milkshake though!

Wishing35

I'd be pissed! He should definitely come get you. I'd get a cab last resort, no way id wait that long.

tacosandtums

I would be pissed at DH fo sho. So glad you at least got a milkshake. Hope your night is relaxing from here on out.

Surromel

Nope, you aren't being ridiculous. My SO and I have had to pick each other up from work (20 minute drive) quite a few times for various reasons. It can be frustrating to have to go out when you are already comfortable at home, but we are a team and we do things for each other. That's part of being a family. I'm glad you got yourself a treat!!

Surromel

Side note, he better get used to having to drive for things after being stuck in traffic. that kid is going to grow up and need rides now and again!!!

LaDyBostonRN

Don't know how to tag mobile but @Surromel ... I feel bad because he really does so much other stuff for me. He literally waits on me hand and foot, makes dinner, cleans up after both of us, serves me dessert, takes the dog out while I'm in bed sleeping. Deep down he is overall a good person and good to me, so I feel bad complaining but I believe this matters more! You're right about the rides and future kid thing too.

Eta: tag worked!

MagentaMouse

Ugh! I'm so mad at them all for you! I would have absolutely lost my mind. I hope he's sleepin on the couch tonight.

lrobi13

I drive but i have had days were driving home in traffic seems unbearable. I once asked DH if he would come and get me and he said no. He was right but it was no fun!

Sorry you had such a long day and a tough commute. Glad you had a milkshake and I hope tomorrow is better!

rosalie12

Totally on your side OP. I hope you're home and resting by now.

MLE_C2B

20 m

MLE_C2B

Whoops stupid phone.... 20 min! That's it??? Most men waste more time in the can. I'd be furious! I'm even more disappointed in your parents. My dad would've carried me on his back all the way home if I was in distress... Then he'd have ripped my husband a new a - hole

LaDyBostonRN

@MLE_C2B Noooo!! Sorry,I didn't make this clear. My parents don't live near me, they would've been there to get me in a heartbeat!! I realize now everyone thought no one could come get me but it was just DH who refused. I meant to say my dad said the same thing I said, that DH should come get me. No no no my parents are wonderful people and would literally die for me. It's just DH that's not being helpful. Sorry for the confusion.

ScnoodleMommy718

Thats so crappy. I'd be so upset. I share your feelings!

MrsSinner402

Thank the heavens for milkshakes! I think the part that would piss me off the most isnt the waiting, its the being hungry AND having to wait. At least you got something yummy to help.

ss265

I agree with PP but given that it seems that your DH usually does a lot for you, I would chalk it up to a one time incident and let it go. Also, I'm curious to know how much time it would ultimately have saved you? You said that if you had made your way home yourself, you would have been home at 8:30pm. If he had gotten you, what time would you have gotten home instead? Was it worth him spending 40 minutes in the car?

And your relationship with your parents might be different from mine but DH and I have an unwritten rule that we never complain about each other to our parents. If I did that, my Mom's perception of DH would change and it would strain their relationship.

 

LaDyBostonRN

ss265 said:

I agree with PP but given that it seems that your DH usually does a lot for you, I would chalk it up to a one time incident and let it go. Also, I'm curious to know how much time it would ultimately have saved you? You said that if you had made your way home yourself, you would have been home at 8:30pm. If he had gotten you, what time would you have gotten home instead? Was it worth him spending 40 minutes in the car?

And your relationship with your parents might be different from mine but DH and I have an unwritten rule that we never complain about each other to our parents. If I did that, my Mom's perception of DH would change and it would strain their relationship.

 

I keep coming to your same conclusion, but I also think he should know how it made me feel even if he feels my feelings aren't validated. We haven't spoken about it since we both work long hours and haven't seen eachother.

I would have saved me a lot of time. I was on a train by 6:50 and would've been to where DH would've picked me up by 7:20. We would've been home by 7:45. That's 45 minutes back in my evening which is a lot given that I am pregnant, go to bed early and have to be awake by 5am. It may not have been worth it to him, but definitely worth it to me!

And to your final point: I'm very close to my parents. And, they would never judge him or hold this against him, which DH is aware of. They know that overall DH is a good person (I tell them many great things as well!) and that him and I are going to have various issues as is normal through any marriage.