Reconnect.....

APutter05

How do DH and I reconnect after baby? We've been on totally opposite pages since our DD has been born. We've tried going out just the two of us but it ends up we hang out with his friends or I go home while he goes out.
How do you ladies get reconnected with your DHs?

shaunessa

When my husband and I went on our first date post baby...I didn't enjoy myself.  I was worried about the baby the whole time!  I kept checking my phone just in case my mother in law had texted or called.  Now this may sound silly, but we have some alone time at the grocery store.  I leave my little one at my mom's while we grocery shop.  There we talk about dinner, how our work day went, etc.  This is once a week.  Lately, I've been giving in to watching silly movies that I wouldn't normally watch (Tenacious D-pick of destiny).  But after that first date, I realized I needed to relax!  Even though I may not be interested in the movie, its the time with my hubby that matters.  Its definitely hard finding some alone time with a baby, but hang in there.  You'll get your groove back.

APutter05

Thanks!! We work opposite shifts so its hard to see each other through the week. I'm sure we will get our groove back it's just going to take time.

jessib10

Husband and I go out WITH baby.  She sleeps happily in her cat seat while we eat dinner out.  We didn't try until today to give her a bottle and it was a struggle... so until we can get her to take one a bit more smoothly we probably won't be going out alone.  

When it comes to reconnecting though, it takes communication.  Tell him what you need.  If you go out together and end up at a friends and you go home, tell him that isn't working.  Plan exactly what you'll be doing, and if it's too late for you, and you end up at home, trying scheduling it a bit earlier.  Or because of you schedules not jiving, it might be easiest to have a date night "in".  Drop baby off with a sitter, and have some time at home alone for a while.

gpl_jgh

It's a big transition having a baby, we try to make time for each other every time we see each other. Whether it's just a kiss or hug, talk to him, perhaps he's having a tough time with fatherhood. We go out for dinner with our LO too.

APutter05

DH and I talked the other night and he says he feels horrible about what happened. I told him that I need "adult time" and would really like it with him. I don't think he realized until I said something. I also told him I didn't appreciate him coming home drunk. He was so drunk he doesn't remember anything about coming home. He didn't remember who brought him home, making a sandwich, letting the dogs out or saying the things he says to me.

shaunessa

APutter05 said:

DH and I talked the other night and he says he feels horrible about what happened. I told him that I need "adult time" and would really like it with him. I don't think he realized until I said something. I also told him I didn't appreciate him coming home drunk. He was so drunk he doesn't remember anything about coming home. He didn't remember who brought him home, making a sandwich, letting the dogs out or saying the things he says to me.

Men can be dumb sometimes, lol.  Sometimes they just need a clear explanation of things.  Most everything for us women is black and white, but for men....boy is their shade of grey HUGE!

APutter05

You are totally right shaunessa!! DH doesn't even want to talk about that night. He said he knows he was in the wrong and it wasn't fair to me. He said he also didn't think about how it would look to our daughter.