Coming up on one year

JessicaG220

*siggy warning*

Hi ladies,

It's been a while since I posted my own thread over here, and I have been sad to see all of the new loss moms.  Welcome and hugs to you all.  You have found an awesome, supportive place.  We can all relate too well to the feelings of losing our precious babies.

Next Thursday, 4/17 is one year since we lost our sweet angel, Ava Claire.  I have experienced a wide range of emotions in the last few days, and I have spent a lot of time reflecting on where I was a year ago vs where I am today.  I still miss her every, single day, but I have to admit that the raw pain and rage that I initially felt have eased over time and I can more fondly think of the precious 7 months that I carried Ava.  And I really want next Thursday to be a celebration of her life and a remembrance of how happy she made me.

I want to share a photo collage that I created yesterday on Shutterfly.  I plan to bring the collage, flowers, a cake, and balloons to her stone.  I feel like I want to honor her SO badly, and nothing I can think of seems enough.  But I sincerely hope she knows how much I want this for her and that I will love her always.

Thanks for reading 

Dixon813

~~Siggy Warning~~



Oh, Jessica, Ava is absolutely beautiful - thank you for sharing the pictures.

I think your plan to bring the picture, cake, balloons and flowers to her stone is a beautiful way to celebrate her.  Have you thought about including any family or friends?

I've got a month and a half before the trip's first birthday, and I've been going back and forth on what to do/who to include.  I think we all do whatever we can/whatever feels right and our babies know we're thinking of them.

Hugs!

JessicaG220

*siggy*

@Dixon813 Thanks    We invited our parents and siblings over for dinner in the evening.  DH and I took the day off of work, so I am happy to be able to spend the day together.  I know no matter how small or big the gesture, our babies will love and appreciate us.  I just want to give her the world, and I can't! 

@aragosta I completely understand how you feel.  I have experienced every emotion possible.  I still have bad days, but they are fewer and father between than they used to be.  I feel like every day that I am functioning is a victory.  Thanks for the compliments on Ava 

jonahsma

She's beautiful! Just know that we will be thinking of you all on that day.. ((hugs))

ikrystal

She is beautiful.  I agree with everyone else - I'm so glad to hear you are celebrating.  I know that is what we plan to do when Conner and Ben's birthday rolls around, although I cannot bear to think about it right now.  My thoughts are with you today.  ((hugs))

bunnybun4

She is beautiful...thanks for sharing the collage.  I hope your day is peaceful and full of you thinking of the love you have for your sweet girl.  (bunny's edd is the same day!!!  I'll be thinking of you)

schulme2

What a beautiful girl! I think that is so sweet to do for her on that special day! I know she will feel your love!

Noethola

***ticker***

Thank you so much for sharing the pictures. Lovely little girl. 

I agree that your plans sound lovely. However you decide to recognize her existence that day will be exactly what you need. Everyone does it differently, but the fact that we recognize the day, the life that was lost, it becomes a beautiful remembrance celebration. She knows she was loved. And inviting your family over to recognize the day is a good step, I feel. I wanted my family to recognize that day, and not try to brush it under the carpet or anything. It ended up being really nice to be together for a few hours. 

Jellybean71514

Thanks for sharing I have a long way to go before I get to the place you're at and think of things to do but your plans sound perfect and she's beautiful xo

TeamWinForever

Those sound like perfect plans for your beautiful baby. I'm glad to read that you are in a much better place now; it gives me hope that in time I will feel the same.

stefuge

She is beautiful and I hope your day spent celebrating Ava is beautiful as well! 

luckyclover0922

What a wonderful idea and such a beautiful angel. 

shandorfml2

Love the ideas, and she is so beautiful! I remember when you joined our board. A year sure does go quick (and slow at the same time). ((hugs))

princezjk

***Sig Warning***



She is absolutely precious. I think your ideas to honor her are lovely. I can definitely relate to the struggle of thinking of ways to honor our LOs. Nothing ever seems enough. I will be thinking of you and Ava next Thursday and sending you lots of (((hugs))).

JessicaG220

**siggy**

Thank you thank you thank you, ladies!!! I truly appreciate the kind words and support. This board really is the best place you never want to be. Hugs to you all!

cdale86

***Ticker***

Oh.  My.  Goodness.  Ava is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!  I love the collage you made.  The plans you made sound just perfect.  I know it will never feel like enough, but you carry her with you everyday in your heart and thoughts.  Everything you do is to honor her.

nohalo21

The collage was beautiful. Sounds like a nice way to remember your sweet angel.

lexusolsen

Just wanted you to know I will be thinking of you and Ava tomorrow.

jonahsma

Thinking of you and Ava today ((hugs))

Noethola

Thinking of you today! Praying for strength for you. Let yourself feel whatever it is you need to today: joy, grief, love, peace, turmoil, etc. Remembering Ava with you.

Jellybean71514

Sending *hugs* to you today xoxo

milb11

Happy angelversary Ava! 

VyD81

Happy angelversary Ava.