Daycare Room Transition
periwinkleblue
member
Sorry for the long post. I just needed to get it all out 
DS just turned 21 months.
He started daycare at 14 months and he had a really rough time. He was crying almost all day and it took around 5 weeks for him to be better. He stayed at that room for 6 months and by the end, he would still cry when we drop him off, but when we peak at the window by the parking lot, he’s no longer crying. He will also go to the daycare provider (even while crying) when we go. Some days, he will not cry at all (just a really sad, about to cry face), but no tears. We know he likes his teachers. It was rough at first because this is our first time at daycare with our first/only child, but the teachers in the room are super nice, comforting and I fully trust them. They’re very good with parent management, telling us how he’s doing, what they learned about him and what he did for the day.
A month ago, they started transitioning him to the next classroom. I would still drop him off at his original room and they will move him to the other room slowly (one extra hour in the other room per day). The transition was good.. but after a week of that, we now had to drop him directly to his new room in the morning. It’s almost a month now and he’s still wailing when we drop him off. Wailing, running after us, pulling our leg, and sometimes, he would gag and vomit his breakfast because of intense crying. He didn’t cry like this in the previous room. Granted, he’s bigger and older now so maybe things can get more dramatic, but it’s been really hard for me. His teacher says that he’s a happy camper all day and he just doesn’t like drop offs, and I just cling to that thought. When we pick him up, he’s happy to see us, but he seems happy there too. He’s learning a lot in this room (songs, discipline, words, etc). But i just don’t know how to feel about this. Should we just wait it out? Is this normal? (Unfortunately, this classroom doesn’t have a window to the parking lot so we can’t peak if he’s ok by the time we leave).
He has 2 teachers in his current classroom. One goes from 8am-4pm and the other from 9am-6pm. We have to drop him off with the first shift teacher, who seems stoic to us. She’s not as comforting as the teachers in the previous classroom. I don’t feel the support from her during this transition. I feel like she’s lecturing us parents sometimes when she talks to us. She told us that DS would make himself vomit in the morning when he cries…. but I am 100% sure he doesn’t vomit on purpose. He has gag reflex and because he cries so much and he is full from breakfast, he sometimes vomit. I was like that when I was a kid. He doesn’t do it on purpose. I was offended, but I didn’t say anything because I was busy attending to my wailing child who just threw up (we only saw 1 incident, but it happened once before and again yesterday, from what we heard). When we pick him up, we only see the second shift teacher who says by the time she comes at 9am, DS is fine. Basically, we don’t really have a chance to talk to the first teacher with our kid not wailing. We tried calling in the morning and she picks up, but I feel like we’re just bothering them. She just tells us he’s fine. No additional information. (so it feels like there’s no benefit to calling as well… I know they have 12 kids with 2 teachers… so things can be busy).
I don’t want to assume anything. But her demeanor, lack of parent communication and her 2 offensive statements (other than the vomit comment, she made another one separately about something else yesterday), I feel not at peace everyday leaving my son there with her. What does she do to calm him down? Why does he cry so hard, if they say he’s a "happy camper" all day? He wasn’t like this in the previous room, even if he cries. We felt at peace (even if he cries) leaving him with the teachers in the previous room. For now, we’re just holding on to the fact that the teachers say he’s good all day. Every morning, it’s just hard to get over the intense crying.
Anyone have transition experiences to share? Is this just normal?
Re: Daycare Room Transition
BUT, he's fine pretty soon after I leave from what I hear, and when I pick him up, even though he instantly runs to me, he does not want to go home. He wants to stay and play (he just wants me to play too).
Some kids just have a harder time with transitions than others. And you have to find what works for you. I know initially the teachers would tell me just to leave, but my son actually did better if I stayed with him for a couple minutes until he got acclimated. Which isn't how a lot of children work. His teachers have always helped with me leaving, but some were better than others. Right now "Miss A" makes a big deal of bringing him to the gate to wave goodbye.
I also wouldn't take the vomit statement as being offensive. I wasn't there, but just reading it makes it seem as though she was saying he isn't vomiting because he's sick, he's causing himself to vomit through the tantruming (ie making himself throw up). My kid will get like that too when he has big tantrums. He hasn't actually thrown up, but he's upset himself to the point of retching and I'll tell him he needs to calm down because he's making himself sick. It's not about doing it on purpose.