DH walked away while DD was in the tub...

foreverapartofme

Am I being unreasonable?  My DH was giving DD, who is 26 months old, a bath, while I was writing some reports for work.  While she was sitting in the tub, he just got up and walked all the way to the kitchen to throw something out.  I was furious and told him that he should never leave her alone in there, because it is dangerous. I told him that she could stand up in the tub, slip, and get hurt or who knows what else.  He told me I was over reacting and that she could fall down anywhere and that I needed to chill out.  Just curious if I am overreacting or if you would feel upset too?  Thanks! 

TiffanyBerry

I think it depends on your kid, how far away the kitchen is, and how long it took him.  Our kitchen is next to the bathroom with the tub, and DD has always been a remarkably safe, and appropriate child.  So, it wasn't super long after two years that I would step out for long enough to enter the kitchen and come back while she was already happily occupied with a game and I left the door open so I could hear her and was back in approximately 5-7 seconds (yes, I timed it).  (I don't remember HOW far past two years - it might have been closer to 2.5yrs.)  But there's a 3 year old I watch whom I wouldn't walk out of the room from.

The tub does have a higher risk of slips than just about any other place (smooth, wet surface and all) with a high risk of serious injury from it (small, enclosed space of hard surfaces, many of which protrude, and water to drown in), so it's not entirely fair to compare to falling in the living room or on the driveway or in a store.

ashiscute

It doesn't sound like a huge deal to me but again it depends how large your house is and how rowdy your LO is.  My kids usually get undressed for a bath while in the bathroom.  And while they are in the tub I usually run into their rooms and drop off their clothes into their hampers.  If he honestly just walked away and came right back I wouldn't be upset.  

brachysira

Meh, I would say something like, "you shouldn't leave her for even a minute" and then forget it.  Getting furious over anything your DH does with respect to your child is not really useful if you want him to continue to participate.  Plus, I probably would have done the same thing unless I thought my DD would do something crazy.  But even if he said, "I just put her in the tub and watched TV until she called for me.  I thought it was okay," I would still respond with, "no, dear, we supervise her still."

janinekrause

The furthest I go is their room across the hall to grab a towel. My 2 year old is in a bath seat, and she is with my 5 year old. I have heard way way way too many horror stories of parents stepping away for a minute and a child drowning.

When I started leaving my child alone at 3 1/2 or 4, I would ask her to talk to me or sing, every 20 seconds or.

I wouldn't be mad but I would tell him your fears.

rlyttle

DS is 3.5 years and we leave him in the bath tub while we are out in the adjoining loft every night. We can hear him and & ask him if he's ok every few minutes & if I stop hearing any noise. At 2, I would be ok with walking away if it was only for a minute, but its different with every child. If you feel like it's big deal just tell your husband you would feel more comfortable if he stayed in there. 

Xath

I wouldn't leave a 2 year old alone in the bathtub.  It takes so little time to drown, and it rarely makes a sound when it happens.  When I was a lifeguard I saw enough scares with littles who would put their faces in the water because they just didn't know any better, and then couldn't figure out how to extract themselves even when they could sit or stand above water level.  

sunnyday016

You know your kid. I have walked to the next room to get jammies, but it takes literally 7-10 seconds. I am never gone a full minute. Voice your concerns to your husband, but I don't think you need to be furious. Dads are prone to be more laid back about parenting in general. 

LadyRoarsome

You know your kid best. DH and I leave E in the tub by himself, 28 months. We don't up and walk away for then entire bath time. E's room is right next to the bathroom, I have no problem walking away to get his clothes, a towel, or anything else. It's only every for a few seconds and I talk to him the entire time so I know he's ok. If you don't feel comfortable doing so, don't. Have a calm talk with DH about it.

BoyOhBoys

My H does all the time and it pisses me off. When I tell him it's not okay he gets defensive...

klv

My LO talks/sings/makes noises all the time. I will go in her room (2 steps away) to pick out pjs or clothes for the next day. Maybe gather dirty laundry to start a load ( washer is in her bathroom), pull clothes out of the dryer and throw them on the couch (also 2 steps from the bathroom). I can hear her the whole time and it's not like I am gone for an extended period of time. I can always hear her. Been doing that since she was 2.5 or so

fitmom82

I watched DS slip under the water in the baby pool last year at 15 month and if I hadn't pulled him up, he would have drowned.  Now I see him slip under in the bath all the time and sit back up.  I know he doesn't need me watching him the whole time, and he and his 4 year old sister have a great time in there sometimes and can probably spend 20 minutes while I'm in the room across from the bathroom or next to the bathroom putting away laundry.  i can hear them the whole time, and I check in atleast every 3 minutes, more often if they're not making noise, but I'm not too worried because I know DS is old enough to know to sit up if he slips.  I might be a little stricter if I only had 1, but with 2 I can count on the older one to say something if there is a problem. 

foreverapartofme

Thanks ladies!  I appreciate your responses, advice on this matter.  Later that night I talked to my DH and explained my concerns and vice versa. I think I over reacted at the time, and should not have been furious like I was. He didn't leave the bathroom for more than a minute but she likes to stand up now in the tub when no one is looking and that's what my concern is.  Like everything else, I'm sure standing up in the tub is a phase and DH promised to only step into her room which is right next to the bathroom to get a towel/pajamas.