Step Kid Bedroom

afeezer

Hello everyone. I am wondering what to do. My bf has a son who is coming to visit for the first time. We have his daughter almost full time, so she clearly has her own room. However, we are moving soon into a 3 bedroom home and with a new baby on the way I automatically planned for that to be his/her room. However, now with his son coming to visit... I'm curious as to what to do for him. He's 3 years older than his sister and while this year I am able to give him his own little space before decorating for a baby room.. where does he sleep once baby is here? I know it sounds crazy, but I also don't think I need a room for him full time when we only have him 2 months out of the year.

Thoughts? Ideas? I want him to feel like he's got his own space and home with us.. so I don't know how to make that happen.

cole2144

We have a four bedroom house with 3 kids so all the kids have their own room. If we have another baby, boys will share with boys and girls with girls. There is no reason why you can`t split the room where the baby will be so that BD`s son will have his own space and not feel like a guest. How old is he?

ambrvan

How old is he? How old is the DD? Are they full or half siblings, well known to each other or not? If they are young and week known ti each other, they could share for two months out of the year as long as you're state doesn't have a law against it. Think loft bunk beds or something.

Otherwise, he can share with LO later as long as he and his things have a permanent place in that room. I mean having a permanent bed (lots if kids like futons and that would work week for this situation) and dresser and closet space. I can see putting some if his things up after he leaves, but mange sure they are all back in place before he arrives.

Since everyone will still have their own space this summer, it would probably be a good idea to include the older kids on this decision. You and BF come up with the possible arrangements you are both willing to provide, and let the kids give you their input with the understanding that the adults will ultimately decide but want their opinions.

I don't know what the situation is regarding you saying this is the first time the son is coming to visit, but if he has never stayed with his dad before, then the arrangements for these two months might just be pretty important.

SueBear

Is the baby going to be a boy or a girl?  IMO, that makes a difference.

If the baby is going to be a boy, SS and the baby will share.   The baby will get the larger of the rooms, since it will be a shared space in the summer.  Ask SS about colors and coordinate.  For example, if SS likes blue, you can do blue and chocolate - even if the blue is pastel, the chocolate makes it more masculine.

If the baby is going to be a girl, SD gets the larger room and the baby can move into her room in the summer when SS visits.  Buy a trundle bed, bunk beds, or twin beds for SS's room if you get new furniture.  Try to make the baby's room neutral, and have SS move into the room in the summer.

You should make it clear to whoever is sharing what the arrangements are - - you are a family, and family members share.  

ambrvan

Oh, Yes, I agree with Sue Bear. I think I just automatically assumed LO was going to be a boy. I could have sworn you said that in the OP, but I guess not.

hopanka

I don't think it's fair for older sibs to have to share with newborns and get woken up multiple times at night. Baby either sleeps in master bedroom when SS visits (at least until old enough to sleep through the night) or the tow older ones share a bedroom (which would be the bigger of the two rooms). I'm not a prude about boys and girls sharing rooms, I did with my bro and it was fine. It's gotta be cultural because majority of EU families have kids of opposite sex share rooms, they are sibs afterall.

ambrvan

There are some states in the US that have laws against different sex siblings sharing room over a certain age our at all. TN is one such state abd also states that ask children's bedrooms facing a road must have window covering (blinds, curtains, etc).

But SD and DS shared until they were 5 and 2 respectively, and I had no objections them continuing to share if we had been unable to find an affordable 3br to rent. DS also never woke SD up. She sleeps like a log.

I would think any situation would work. I would incorporate both children in the decision and then the decorating, though. Not every kids gets what they want in every family. Not everyone can have their own room all the time.

SueBear

How old are SS and SD?  Very young kids of different genders can share a room, but it gets wierd as the kids become tweens and older.