January 2014 Moms

annoying nanny!

so I have a new nanny now for 3 weeks since I got back to work. We installed cameras in his room and the living room just to check in on him during the day. We didn't let the nanny know and just assume she probably saw them since we didn't really hide them. She seems really nice and plays with him etc. she follows his feeding schedule to a tea. The only thing that annoys me is that she can't help me get him on a regular napping schedule. She lies to me about when she put him down for a nap and never writes down when she did it... so its always a recall. I ask her every morning to write it down. I only have her for 4 times a week then I watch him on Fridays while doing work from home. Another thing that bothered me is that I came home one day to find a rash all over his face and flakes on his hair. I asked her what did she put on his face and what happend to his hair (he has alot of it for a baby his age) she says she dabbed just a little lotion on his nose because it looked dry. I never use lotion on his face and I don't even know which one she used cause I have 4 different ones by his changer. I only use right now two different ones for his body after the shower. thats it. then I asked about the flakes she says she was brushing and brushing his hair to get his fuzz down lol. Isn't that just annoying?? I hid all the stuff from her so she doesn't use it. But otherwise I don't know what to do... I can't fire her... she's actually ok and agrees to the pay we offered her. :-/ any suggestions??
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Re: annoying nanny!

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  • I have to agree with @peanutmuse. I think it is okay to record someone as long as you tell them. I would think she would understand that you want to check on your LO during the day. In regard to the lotion: if I was caring for someone else's child a noticed dry skin I would want to help. If there are 4 lotions to choose from I would just pick what I thighs look best. I would have a hard time tolerating lying, but maybe she is confused about the time? I would have a honest conversation with your nanny about your concerns. Communication is key, and it isn't fair to her if you are not honest about your concerns.
  • Sorry..typing on the iPad and auto-correct changed some if my words... :)
  • Yeah, I don't think any of that is a big deal. I provide a form sheet for my nanny to fill out about naps and food. Maybe you could just remind her. And for any nanny, there is going to be a learning curve about how you like things.
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  • First of all, I have a serious problem with you recording someone who you have invited into your house without telling her that you're doing it. That is a really shitty thing to do to someone.

    Second, I think that you are SERIOUSLY overreacting to pretty much everything -- except to the writing down part. If you've asked her to do that and laid it out as an expectation of her job, then she should do it. Perhaps she's not lying about when she put him down, and it's more of a situation where she can't remember exactly because she didn't write it down. But -- you wouldn't know that unless you were creepily recording her.

    The lotion thing, it's not like she was doing anything with malice. She was trying to help. You're going to run into things like this all of the time. You are going to drive yourself crazy if you try to micro-manage everything. Unless he has a known allergy to a lotion, and you've communicated that to her, I'd say to just let it go.

    ALL of this. I would be pissed if I were her and didn't know I was being taped. Also, which of the four lotions was she supposed to choose? Give her more specific instructions when it comes to things like that and then you won't need to be annoyed.
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  • I think she's probably not writing it down because she isn't getting him to nap when / how you want her to, and she doesn't know how. Maybe she could use some more training / demonstration from you on how you get your baby to nap? She probably doesn't want to ask as she feels it would imply she is not a good nanny or something.


  • I think she's probably not writing it down because she isn't getting him to nap when / how you want her to, and she doesn't know how. Maybe she could use some more training / demonstration from you on how you get your baby to nap? She probably doesn't want to ask as she feels it would imply she is not a good nanny or something.


    My eyes are rolling so far back in my head, I swear I see brains.

    RE: the bolded -- there's no way that you can possibly know this. Babies don't necessarily
    follow the nap schedules that we want. She could be the most trained
    nanny in the world, but it doesn't matter because what works on one day
    might not work the next day. Or ever again.



    Exactly!!! This is exactly what I mean, maybe I didn't word it right, but what I mean is that the nap schedule @Nviener28‌ is requesting isn't working, and the nanny doesn't know what to do. Should she disagree with the woman who employs her? Is she copping out by just saying she didn't write it down? Is she having trouble getting LO down at specific times, so she just does her own thing with naps? Either way a discussion needs to be had about all this but I think there's got to be more to it than just "she forgets to write it down". MY baby personally doesn't have a schedule during the day besides a morning nap about an hour after he wakes up. But, I assumed this girl's baby has a reasonable schedule that has been working for her, in order for her to expect a nanny to follow it.
  • I quite agree with pp-none of this sounds like a big deal to me. I'm thinking that the cameras you have set up are the type you can log into remotely and watch? I wouldn't assume she knows, and let her know of this. It sounds like maybe the baby might have some cradle cap? This might be the flakes in the hair? If you don't like this nanny, let her go and find a new one?
  • Peanut said it all.
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  • ...are you for real with this post? You have unreasonable expectations, barring the writing down part.
    Baby Boy #2
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  • Firstly, I've worked in many places that had a camera to see what we are doing and it's usually pretty normal. My cousin does it and many other people I know, and they actually hide those. I didn't hide it from her, it's standing right on one of the shelves and she can clearly see a camera. I Have every right to watch my baby if I can and make sure he is ok. Anytime you let a stranger in your house you are taking a risk. My cousin saw things on the camera that are horrendous and I wouldn't wish for any kid to go through and that woman was so sweet your thought she was made out of honey! No one would ever suspect she would do anything harmful to a baby. We can't afford to put cameras in every room, so if she felt like doing something to him in another room, we would never know(that's if we told her we have a camera only in those two rooms) @peanutmuse- It's very sweet and innocent for you to trust any nanny that walks in your home and your ok with whatever. But I'm ok with being accused of being too crazy over stuff than letting things happen to my child. I worry about his safety and how he is handled every day. Maybe it's a Jewish mom thing lol it's in our DNA to be crazy worrying moms!

    The bottom line about his schedule is very simple. I hadn't trained him when to nap yet, all I asked her to do was write down when he's most tired to nap, so I could find a pattern at the end of the week and know when to put him down for naps when I'm with him. It's very easy. I don't like finding on the camera that she feeds him for 10 minutes then right away lays him down to sleep without letting the food settle. Just an example.

    Lastly, the lotion on his face- why would anybody assume that it's their decision to make to rub lotion on his face? I never asked her to do it. She doesn't bathe him, only I do. And who knows what else she could just assume to use on him because it's there?? He's not a doll for crying out loud!! What are you doing brushing the shit out of his hair and rubbing lotion on his
    face?? That was not asked of her. All I allowed her to use was the butt cream for his butt!
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  • @ababymaybe- which part of this is so unreasonable?? I want to be home with him all the time! I always want to be with him. I just can't! And I'm supprised everybody has no problems with the nannys -that is if anybody on this board has them yet.... I knew going into this that she would never do things exactly the way I do... But there is no reason for someone to make decisions without letting me know. I was with her for two weeks before I left to work just to show her what I want her to do. It should be clear not to use lotion on the face. What if it gets in his eyes and burns? I totally forgot to mention, his eye was red as well. Anything extra- I don't care if it's to manicure his nails or polish his shoes- it is NOT her decision to make. I asked her after that not to do it again.
    Anyway I the most annoying was that she won't ever write down his nap times.. After asking her multiple times. That was the main issue that I asked for suggestions about. If everybody here is super happy with their nannys and have absolutely no issues with them then please send me the agency they're from!! I want merry poppins too! Lol
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  • Ok so if LO vomited all over himself would you get upset if she changed his clothes? Bathed him? Or would you come home pissed if she didn't do anything about it. I guess you would expect her to let him lay in his own filth since you wouldn't want her to 'assume' it's ok because his bath 'is there' . If she did as little as you wanted her to that poor baby would only have butt bream when you are away. Does it make you mad that someone else can do things for your baby while you are away? Stay at home then.

    As far as when she lays him down after a bottles tell her not to.
  • If you watched me only during my work hours for two weeks you would not see everything that I do with and for my baby. So it's possible that since it's out she figured it gets used as needed not all the time.  If you didn't want her to use lotion on your child why would you leave 4 bottles of lotion out and never give her the direct instruction not to use it? It is not enough to assume that she understands that she can't use the lotion because you didn't use it in the two weeks that she watched you.

    As for recording her without her knowledge. While yes, many employers do have cameras installed partly to watch employees. There is usually a disclaimer either in the employee handbook or a sign posted where it is highly visible. To my knowledge taping employees without prior notice is illegal. If it is not in your area it is highly immoral. 

    If there are things that you have for the baby or are typically done with a baby and you do not want her to do it you need to tell her in advance the list of things that are off limits. For example, if you have a jumper, but haven't been using it because your child is too young and you don't want her to use it until you are sure your baby is ok in it you need to tell her not to use it. If she isn't told not to use it and it's obviously for a baby of about the correct age/development how could she guess what to use and what not to use? 
    DD 1- born January 22, 2014
    Due June 25 2017


  • And the issue isn't you filming her. It's that you haven't told her you're filming her. That's effed up.
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  • edited April 2014

    Just read the post and comments....thanks for making me choke on my overly-bitter lactation cookie....

  • Okay I feel for your nanny.. I am a SAHM and I cannot for the life of me to get DD, whose 3 months old, to be on a nap schedule. I know you want your nanny to write down a nap log, but ain't no one got time for that. Your nanny is taking care of your baby and she might be too busy to write down. I tried keeping a nap log on my baby app and you know what? I uninstalled it because I didn't have the time to write it down asap. Maybe you and her can talk about when he naps when you get home and you write it down.

    I think you need to relax and let the small stuff go like putting on lotion (unless he's allergic) or brushing his hair. If these small things are bothering you maybe something underlying is wrong. I felt the same way when my MIL did small stuff on her own when DD was a week old. I chalked it up raging hormones since what my MIL does now to DD doesn't bother me.

    I highly suggest letting your nanny know you have cameras to check up on your LO and hope she doesn't leave.
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  • cnctfcnctf member

    Do you allow your husband to watch your son without you present?

    @sugarland726 I doubt it, hes still probably getting "shadowed" by her to make sure hes doing it right. Hehe. I keeeeed!! #sorrynotsorry
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  • thelittlepearthelittlepear member
    edited April 2014
    Totally off-topic... @cnctf, I love the pic of your LO! We look like that all the time at our house  :-S


    ETA: wrong smiley...

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  • I am really confused, how is applying lotion a HUGE decision? You need to cool it; as mentioned previously I bet there is a lot you can learn from your nanny as a FTM.

    Your nanny should be writing down all feedings and nap times. An occasional miss isn't a big deal, but not doing it at all would piss me off.  Talk to her about it, make her papers to fill out so she has a consistent practice. Put the paper in a spot so it is easy for her to fill out.

    As a STM I'm not going to tell you how to parent, but you do need to let your hair down. Being a parent is a crazy, messy, not perfect, fun ride.  If you are freaking out about all the things you listed you are going to kill yourself. 


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