Toddlers: 12 - 24 Months

Things I wish I could say to my daycare parents

24

Re: Things I wish I could say to my daycare parents

  • elmoali said:
    I'm ALL about you expecting parents to respect you as a BUSINESS - i.e. respecting your hours, rules and policies.  You should kindly stuff your opinions on people's parenting choices.  How dare you judge parents who dare to take a few hours to themselves.  You may never get a break from your daughter but that's not other people's problem.  The fact is, you run a daycare by choice.  If you don't like it, do something else but don't you dare think you have a right to decide what people are doing during the hours they are paying you.
    Lol at a few hours. 

    Choosing to have your kids in a  daycare for 60 hours a week, when you only work 30, is ridiculous. I don't care what you say. I'm not referring to a "few hours". I'm referring to someone who is off at noon, multiple times a week, and still shows up at 6:00 PM or later. This isn't for my sake, it's for the kids. The kids want to be home with their parents, they want time with Mommy and Daddy too. Shame on me for having to drive by Mommy and Daddy's house, and the kid seeing that they are home, and knowing that they still won't be able to see them until 6:00 tonight. I wonder how that makes the kid feel? 

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  • elmoali said:
    wbrauns said:
    LimaD said:
    I'm sure being a daycare provider is a very stressful job, especially when you are being active with field trips and trying to keep things interesting and fun for the kids. So I get that you are wanting to vent frustrations

    But part of being a daycare provider means you're taking care of someone ELSE's kids. which means you aren't the parent. so, what they eat at home, what they're taught to do at home, etc really isn't any of your business (unless it is harmful). And as far as kids saying they get to eat whatever they want at home, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a child who is just saying what he thinks will get you to do what he wants. It might not be true at all

    I agree with a PP about the fact that parents are paying for a certain time slot, so if they get off work early it's not shocking that they wouldn't necessarily pick up their children early. Would it bother/annoy you if they would pay less for days that they picked up their child early? Then you'd probably be annoyed about that.

    Bottom line: the tone in this post really did bother me, as it did others. If you truly have a problem with any of the parents, talk to them about it
    That's kind of why this post is entitled, "Things I WISH I could say." meaning, I know I can't say anything to these parents, because each parent is entitled to raise a child however they want. But if you are at a playground, and a child is misbehaving, and Mom sits by and doesn't do a thing to stop it, that doesnt mean you won't be annoyed right? I have the right to be annoyed, even if there isn't anything I can do about it.
    Know what?  There are things that, if you are even WISHING you could say them, makes you shitty.  Keeping your mouth shut on those things only gives you the advantage of people not knowing how shitty you are.
    You're right, it definitely makes me shitty to wish that parents would spend more time with their kids. Or feed them proper meals, or pick them up from school if they say they are going to, or teach them to be independent. Shitty indeed.

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  • hopefulmom81hopefulmom81 member
    edited April 2014

    3.  If I were a daycare provider, I would secretly TOTALLY judge what parents are feeding their children.  She isn't saying it to the families, this is something she WISHES she could say.  It is like when I see a parent FF their carseat too early, I would never say anything but I think how it should be RF.

    So you are comparing parents who feed their kids a bit of junk food to those who put their lives at risk every day by FF too early? Why *wouldn't* you say something to a parent putting their child in danger? They may just not know the new recommendations.
    Clearly that is not what I am saying.  

    I was using the car seat example because I know most of the people who jumped on her can relate to it (for example, I know that you advocate for RF).  Maybe I would say something, but you are kind of making my point that if she is annoyed at the food situation, it is really no big deal.

    Edited to add...she didn't mean A BIT of junk food, she meant people who CONSTANTLY feed junk food.  We all secretly judge other parents, but keep our opinions to ourselves, and food is a huge one for SOME people.

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  • elmoali said:
    wbrauns said:
    elmoali said:
    wbrauns said:
    LimaD said:
    I'm sure being a daycare provider is a very stressful job, especially when you are being active with field trips and trying to keep things interesting and fun for the kids. So I get that you are wanting to vent frustrations

    But part of being a daycare provider means you're taking care of someone ELSE's kids. which means you aren't the parent. so, what they eat at home, what they're taught to do at home, etc really isn't any of your business (unless it is harmful). And as far as kids saying they get to eat whatever they want at home, I wouldn't be surprised if that's a child who is just saying what he thinks will get you to do what he wants. It might not be true at all

    I agree with a PP about the fact that parents are paying for a certain time slot, so if they get off work early it's not shocking that they wouldn't necessarily pick up their children early. Would it bother/annoy you if they would pay less for days that they picked up their child early? Then you'd probably be annoyed about that.

    Bottom line: the tone in this post really did bother me, as it did others. If you truly have a problem with any of the parents, talk to them about it
    That's kind of why this post is entitled, "Things I WISH I could say." meaning, I know I can't say anything to these parents, because each parent is entitled to raise a child however they want. But if you are at a playground, and a child is misbehaving, and Mom sits by and doesn't do a thing to stop it, that doesnt mean you won't be annoyed right? I have the right to be annoyed, even if there isn't anything I can do about it.
    Know what?  There are things that, if you are even WISHING you could say them, makes you shitty.  Keeping your mouth shut on those things only gives you the advantage of people not knowing how shitty you are.
    You're right, it definitely makes me shitty to wish that parents would spend more time with their kids. Or feed them proper meals, or pick them up from school if they say they are going to, or teach them to be independent. Shitty indeed.
    You seem to misunderstand your role.  It is shitty of you to judge situations that you are not familiar with and it is a major overstep to think you have any right to an opinion.  My older son went to daycare every day I was on maternity leave.  Guess I suck as a mother, huh?  Or maybe I knew that he was going to have a better time there than with me as I was attached to a newborn.  Maybe mom and dad don't actually get off at noon but work the afternoon from home.  Maybe they're fucking sick in a way you can't see and have no right to know.  Maybe they're fucking depressed.  You have NO idea so yes, you're shitty for thinking you have a right to anything except that you get paid for your time and are respected as a business.
    I live in a very small town, we are friendly with each our families outside of work, as we all live on the same block. I know what these families do for work, etc etc. Staying home with a newborn is one thing, but that isn't the case here. And I care for these kids, I get attached to these kids, I love these kids, I am not a robot who just performs a job and checks out at the end of the day, and personally, I would be pretty upset if my kid was staying with someone who was. If you think a kid should spend the maximum amount of time a daycare allows, that's on you. Personally, I believe kids should spend more waking time with their own parents, than the daycare provider, but I guess I'm in the minority on that one. And I have a right to my own opinion, whether you think so or not, just because you don't agree with my opinion, doesn't mean I don't have the right to one.

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  • ashiscute said:
    OP- you are not seeming to get what bothered people about your post.  If you had simply said one family was repeatedly doing these things and putting you in a tough position as their daycare provider people would have understood that.  If they are as bad as you feel they are then maybe you should stop offering them your services.  But that's not what you did.  You came onto a forum with loads of working moms and listed reasons why they annoy you.  That tends to tick people off.

    I used to be a travel agent before my babies were born.  And I dealt with pure idiocy all of the time.  And I did vent to my co-workers, DH, friends, etc.  Where I did not vent is a public forum for clients and other vacation goers.  You need to know your audience.  

    ashiscute said:
    OP- you are not seeming to get what bothered people about your post.  If you had simply said one family was repeatedly doing these things and putting you in a tough position as their daycare provider people would have understood that.  If they are as bad as you feel they are then maybe you should stop offering them your services.  But that's not what you did.  You came onto a forum with loads of working moms and listed reasons why they annoy you.  That tends to tick people off.

    I used to be a travel agent before my babies were born.  And I dealt with pure idiocy all of the time.  And I did vent to my co-workers, DH, friends, etc.  Where I did not vent is a public forum for clients and other vacation goers.  You need to know your audience.  


    Fair enough.

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  • Yes, its MY daycare parents. Not all parents. I was just venting. I will formally apologize.  I did not mean to offend anyone. It seems there's just something in the water here. 

    The other daycare provider in town, who I am really close to, recently confided in me that a 9 year old boy that she watches, recently tried to "hurt himself" and told her that he "just wished he was dead" when the provider asked him why, he said because his parents are never around, and he has a babysitter every weekend, and he is at the providers house, "even when my Mom and Dad are at home" he expressed that he can't ever do anything right, and that's why they don't want to spend time with him. This kid is 9 years old, and his parents live right behind us, and I see how often they are gone, which is ALOT, and they are generally out getting drunk at bars. 

    The provider asked me whether she should contact DHS, and I told her, if the kid really tried to hurt himself and is saying he wants to be dead, then yes, I think she should. 

    The family that I watch, is showing a lot of the same characteristics, but their kids are much younger, three and five, I just hate seeing what is happening to my neighbors kids, and then see the cycle seeming to continue with my families. I just want to smack THESE parents in the face and say, "Hey!! These are your kids! Invest in them! Love them! Spend time with them!" Maybe that's overstepping my boundaries. But I'm not saying all parents who have their kids in daycare do this, I'm saying that MINE do, and it seems, others in my area.

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  • I can only hope my provider does not feel this way about caring for my children. First off, what a parent does on their time is their business even if they are home just watching The Family Feud if you are getting paid that should be all that matters. Secondly, I am a bit annoyed that you feel a 20 month old should be zipping up their coats and doing more things on their own so it does not slow you down. You should either eliminate trips if you can't handle the pressure of caring for the children or get some helpers.

    I worked it out with my provider to drop my son off at 6:45am but she normally does not open until 7am. Wow, you are complaining about 10/15 minutes. You have a lot of complaints and it seems clear you resent having to care for other peoples children which is taking time away from your own. Perhaps its time for some soul searching and career changes. It takes a special kind of perosn to care for children and it may not be you. Poor kids and parents if only they knew your true heart. My provider has become like family I have known her for 13 years and she has gone above and beyond for her daycare kids and families. This post reminded me how blessed I am.

  • I can only hope my provider does not feel this way about caring for my children. First off, what a parent does on their time is their business even if they are home just watching The Family Feud if you are getting paid that should be all that matters. Secondly, I am a bit annoyed that you feel a 20 month old should be zipping up their coats and doing more things on their own so it does not slow you down. You should either eliminate trips if you can't handle the pressure of caring for the children or get some helpers.

    I worked it out with my provider to drop my son off at 6:45am but she normally does not open until 7am. Wow, you are complaining about 10/15 minutes. You have a lot of complaints and it seems clear you resent having to care for other peoples children which is taking time away from your own. Perhaps its time for some soul searching and career changes. It takes a special kind of perosn to care for children and it may not be you. Poor kids and parents if only they knew your true heart. My provider has become like family I have known her for 13 years and she has gone above and beyond for her daycare kids and families. This post reminded me how blessed I am.

    You obviously didn't read much of my post.

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  • ClaryPax said:
    OP- I feel like you are being passive agressive by venting to us here.  You really need to take some of this up with them.  I would start by telling them you are no longer able to walk their dog.  This way you are not put in the position of wondering whether the parent is there or not or having to bring their child to their home see them home and leave with their child.

    Its not a great idea for you time wise, but what about asking the parents if you would like them to pack a dinner for the kids for an additional cost?  You could swap out the dog walking cost for the prepping dinner cost?  Would they actually feed them that?

    As for the hours, I don't think there is anything you can do unless you charge them more.  Your contract probably doesn't specify more hours, and they know you are open 6 am -6 pm.  So start charging them late fees and adjust your contract if you want so that kids that are there 8-9 hours are cheaper than kids that are there 11 hours. 

    As far as the jacket thing, I would start instituting parent teacher conferences.  We do these at my center and they are great ways to show the development of the child and a good forum to make suggestions on things the parents can be working on.  Like I said before I have had developmental appropriate suggestions for things to work on with my child, and I think that is great.

    I think stopping being passive agressive and start being assertive will greatly help your situation and for you to stop feeling that you are being taken advantage of.  I will also suggest that as you take these changes into consideration to also work on not judging the parents.  This will also help your relationship.  I know it is hard, but everyone is different and your way maybe is the better way, but it is not helpful to the child or their parents for you to have this attitude of superiority towards them.  If you are unable to do this, then again I suggest ending the care giving relationship.  You have a lot to work on, and I hope you are able to make it work for you.  Remember you can't change them all your change is yourself/ your response to them. 
    I dont do the dog anymore. But I do appreciate that advice, that quit when my husband got on first shift, as I no longer had someone here during nap time, when I ran down there. 

    For the rest of your advice, I appreciate it, I really do. The conferences may really be an asset here, and I think you are also right about the passive-aggresive. We live in a VERY small town, and myself and all of my daycare parents all live within one block of one another, so we run into each other all the time, on walks, while we are out playing, at the gas station, etc. It is a fine line between trying to be assertive, and also trying to remain friendly with people you see outside of work. 

    Mainly, I guess I should just quit bitching. I think that would make everyone happy ;)

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  • mb314mb314 member
    edited April 2014
    I send DS to an in-home daycare, and I don't doubt that my DCP provider works really hard and has a hard job.  She set ground rules for drop off times and pick up times (hers are 7 am - 5 pm), and because I was told that upfront, I switched my work hours to fit with her schedule.  6:30 am - 6 pm is a long day.  Maybe you should consider shortening your hours.  Most in-home providers are open fewer hours than your typical daycare center.  That is something I took into consideration when looking and daycares and deciding what worked best for our family. 

    And, if you agree to be open from 6:30 am - 6 pm, and are being paid those hours, I don't see why you should get a "break" if a parent gets off of work early and chooses to spend time without their kid.  My daycare provider encourages her parents to take a day to themselves if she's open and the parents are off of work.  I love DS, and love spending time with him, but there is a lot of work around the house and errands I simply can't do with him.  I use a lot of my vacation days to take care of household chores/errands while DS is at daycare. 

    It sounds like you have an issue with one family, and if you've spoken to them and they're not changing, you need to drop them.  And stop letting their dog out if it's a problem.  They can hire a dog walker.

    ETA:  I think first time moms like myself tend to do more for their toddlers than parents who have more than one.  I know I can be guilty of just dressing DS or doing something for him out of instinct or because it is easier/faster.  If there was something my DCP was trying to work on with the kids, I would appreciate her saying to me "we're working on putting our own jackets on, if you want to try it at home too."  I actually appreciate it when my DCP lets me know what she's working on with DS so that we can make sure we're on the same page. 
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  • I have nothing else to add other than genuine surprise that your hours are so long.  Most dayhomes in my area are 7 - 5.  I think keeping your's open for 11.5 hours a day can be draining for you.  Perhaps consider reducing hours?  I don't find anything else you said to be out of line.  My DS goes to daycare, and I could care less if my DCP is judging me for my parenting choices as long as they are doing a good job caring for my son; from the sounds of your post, you do genuinely care about the children, so I think that makes you a good DCP.
  • I have nothing else to add other than genuine surprise that your hours are so long.  Most dayhomes in my area are 7 - 5.  I think keeping your's open for 11.5 hours a day can be draining for you.  Perhaps consider reducing hours?  I don't find anything else you said to be out of line.  My DS goes to daycare, and I could care less if my DCP is judging me for my parenting choices as long as they are doing a good job caring for my son; from the sounds of your post, you do genuinely care about the children, so I think that makes you a good DCP.
    Thank you :) My hours used to be 7-5, but, I extended them to help out some of my families who couldn't come later/get off earlier. I am reducing my hours back to 7-5:30 next school year .

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  • wbrauns said:
    I have nothing else to add other than genuine surprise that your hours are so long.  Most dayhomes in my area are 7 - 5.  I think keeping your's open for 11.5 hours a day can be draining for you.  Perhaps consider reducing hours?  I don't find anything else you said to be out of line.  My DS goes to daycare, and I could care less if my DCP is judging me for my parenting choices as long as they are doing a good job caring for my son; from the sounds of your post, you do genuinely care about the children, so I think that makes you a good DCP.
    Thank you :) My hours used to be 7-5, but, I extended them to help out some of my families who couldn't come later/get off earlier. I am reducing my hours back to 7-5:30 next school year .
    That's a good idea.  Some DCPs have limits on how many hours an individual child can be in child-care.  For example, the center may be open 6a-6p, but any given child may only be there for 10 hrs.
    DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  • LimaD said:
    But part of being a daycare provider means you're taking care of someone ELSE's kids. which means you aren't the parent. so, what they eat at home, what they're taught to do at home, etc really isn't any of your business (unless it is harmful). 
    Try replacing "daycare provider" with "teacher".  And then this:
    If you're with them 60 hours a day and capable of teaching them yourself, given that you probably spend more time putting their coats on than their parents do, why not just do that? 
    FFS. I do expect my daycare provider to teach my daughter things as part of her care.  If you're not willing to teach kids how to put on a jacket and instead get pissed at the parents because their kid can't work a zipper (hell, at 32 I have trouble with zippers sometimes), you are in the wrong field.


    So I understand a lot of the points pps have made regarding the appropriateness of this post to this audience, the appropriateness of complaining about your paying clients in a very public forum etc etc. 

    But...I really don't get where parents are coming from when they expect home life and daycare/school life to be somehow unconnected.  Like what happens at home has no bearing on how they behave at school, and teachers/caregivers therefore have no right to intrude on what goes on at home.  And if you can't get your child to learn skills at home, it's somehow the teacher's responsibility solely.  

    Your children's caregivers/teachers are your partners, not a service hired.  My son is in daycare, and the caregivers do ask questions about how we do things at home.  And I'm so glad that they care enough to ask.
  • vamomtobe said:
    LimaD said:
    But part of being a daycare provider means you're taking care of someone ELSE's kids. which means you aren't the parent. so, what they eat at home, what they're taught to do at home, etc really isn't any of your business (unless it is harmful). 
    Try replacing "daycare provider" with "teacher".  And then this:
    If you're with them 60 hours a day and capable of teaching them yourself, given that you probably spend more time putting their coats on than their parents do, why not just do that? 
    FFS. I do expect my daycare provider to teach my daughter things as part of her care.  If you're not willing to teach kids how to put on a jacket and instead get pissed at the parents because their kid can't work a zipper (hell, at 32 I have trouble with zippers sometimes), you are in the wrong field.


    So I understand a lot of the points pps have made regarding the appropriateness of this post to this audience, the appropriateness of complaining about your paying clients in a very public forum etc etc. 

    But...I really don't get where parents are coming from when they expect home life and daycare/school life to be somehow unconnected.  Like what happens at home has no bearing on how they behave at school, and teachers/caregivers therefore have no right to intrude on what goes on at home.  And if you can't get your child to learn skills at home, it's somehow the teacher's responsibility solely.  

    Your children's caregivers/teachers are your partners, not a service hired.  My son is in daycare, and the caregivers do ask questions about how we do things at home.  And I'm so glad that they care enough to ask.
    Exactly, its asinine to think one isn't connected to the other. Like somehow what they are fed at home, is none of my damn business. But yet, I give a report to the parents everyday of what their child ate, and the parents WANT their kids eating a well balanced meal at my house everyday, which is hard to do, when they don't do the same at their house. 

    Daycare isn't a "punch-in, punch-out" job.

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  • This is downright ridiculous. In regard to the issues you list:

    1) Gee, I wish I never had to stay late at work once and a while either, but guess what, that's part of having a job for god's sake.  Apparently you don't understand what it's like to work in the corporate world (where I'm sure some of these parents work) where sometimes you get stuck late due to unforeseen circumstances. I really doubt when the parents are late they are just taking their sweet time to make you mad, but they are probably genuinely stuck at their jobs. Don't you get paid extra when they are late anyhow?

    2) It is none of your business what parents do while you are being PAID to watch their children.

    4) Guess what, when you work, sometimes you have to do things you don't like!  Maybe not everyone else's kids are on the same level as others.

    I honestly would not want my child in a daycare with someone as judgmental as you.  If your daycare is in MA, please let me know so I NEVER somehow send my son there.

     

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  • This is downright ridiculous. In regard to the issues you list:

    1) Gee, I wish I never had to stay late at work once and a while either, but guess what, that's part of having a job for god's sake.  Apparently you don't understand what it's like to work in the corporate world (where I'm sure some of these parents work) where sometimes you get stuck late due to unforeseen circumstances. I really doubt when the parents are late they are just taking their sweet time to make you mad, but they are probably genuinely stuck at their jobs. Don't you get paid extra when they are late anyhow?

    2) It is none of your business what parents do while you are being PAID to watch their children.

    4) Guess what, when you work, sometimes you have to do things you don't like!  Maybe not everyone else's kids are on the same level as others.

    I honestly would not want my child in a daycare with someone as judgmental as you.  If your daycare is in MA, please let me know so I NEVER somehow send my son there.

     

    Lololol at your number one. I do work late, every single day, last time I checked a "normal" work day is 8 hours, not the 11.5 I already work. And expecting my parents to respect my hours is not asking too much, it's parents like you, who just expect their daycare providers to not give a damn if they are late, that make this job so hard. Schools do not "work a little bit late" if you are atuck at work and can't make it to school on time to pick up your kid, you arrange for someone else to do it, you don't just expect the school to work late as well, same thing at a daycare. Not to mention, I have a family too, my daughter is involved in activities, many of which start at 6:30, when my parents are even 10 minutes late, my daughter is late to class.

    And don't worry, your child is safe! I don't live in MA, now just make sure you don't get any of these other monsters,

    "Cops dispatched to in home daycare after second domestic dispute call in one week"

    "Toddler dead after daycare provider roughly throws her onto the ground"

    "Daycare provider charged with negligence after parents find their children unattended and provider at neighbors house"

    "Toddler hospitalized after daycare provider pushes her down staircase"

    Just think. You really dodged a bullet by avoiding me!! Because these have been on the headlines around my state recently, maybe you would have better luck with one of them?


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  • ASmallWonderASmallWonder member
    edited April 2014
    wbrauns I understand about the hours, I really do.  I don't think people should take advantage and it sounds like one of your families does.  I'm just trying to give you perspective.  I had a provider who closed at 5.  I got a new job and the traffic was awful.  My husband worked far enough away that by the time I knew I'd be late, calling him wouldn't matter - he would have been later than I was.  I was a bundle of emotions every time I was running late because I understood that I was cutting into my care giver's personal time.  I always called and gave updates as I had a better idea of how late I'd be.  Changing my hours wasn't an option.  We lived near ZERO friends or family. She would always say it was ok because I recognized I was late - I cared.  If your people are taking advantage, speak UP.  But please don't act like all parents are like that.
    Formerly known as elmoali :)

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  • elmoali said:
    wbrauns I understand about the hours, I really do.  I don't think people should take advantage and it sounds like one of your families does.  I'm just trying to give you perspective.  I had a provider who closed at 5.  I got a new job and the traffic was awful.  My husband worked far enough away that by the time I knew I'd be late, calling him wouldn't matter - he would have been later than I was.  I was a bundle of emotions every time I was running late because I understood that I was cutting into my care giver's personal time.  I always called and gave updates as I had a better idea of how late I'd be.  Changing my hours wasn't an option.  We lived near ZERO friends or family. She would always say it was ok because I recognized I was late - I cared.  If your people are taking advantage, speak UP.  But please don't act like all parents are like that.
    I sincerely apologize if I am coming across as assuming that all daycare parents take advantage of their provider. Because that is not my intention. 

    And I'm sure your provider REALLY loved that you communicated with your provider that you felt bad for being late, or let her know when you are going to be late. 

    I have had a parent tell me they will be at my house at 2:00, and then not show up until 5:30. And that's frustrating.

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  • And I'm about to duck out of this conversation. Thanks for the entertainment ladies. It's been fun. 

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  • wbrauns said:
    And I'm about to duck out of this conversation. Thanks for the entertainment ladies. It's been fun. 
    So trolly troll troll troll?
    Oh you betcha.

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  • @wbrauns I work full time and my DD goes to daycare from about 8:30am to 5:30pm everyday (that's with my husband picking her up and me dropping her off in the morning...if I pick her up its around 6 or 5 minutes after 6). My daycare facility is open from 6:30-6:30. They are a pretty high end daycare center and I say that due to how much her tuition is a month but we can't afford for me to stay home with her right now. I used to work in a program at the YMCA called child watch and worked there for a couple years and although it is not really close to how a daycare center operates it felt pretty close to it. I however worked in different age group of kids all week and also had a co-worker in the room with me to help out depending on the ratio of kids we had for a certain amount of time (usually 1-1.5 hours due to the parents dropping off kids to go work out in the gym). It is hard work but I really enjoyed it because I enjoy being around kids and having fun with them and helping them learn new things. I wonder if you have too many kids for just yourself and are getting burnt out with all the responsibilities you have plus handling the kind of schedule you do with parents not picking up their kids on time? Just a thought. My daycare center has two or more people to a room depending on the kid ratio and I try to keep a fairly good relationship with all of my DD teachers. I'm sure they all get burnt out at the end of the day with dealing with temper tantrums, crying fits, not wanting to eat, kids have accidents and getting hurt here or there, etc. but they really seem to enjoy their job and seeing the kids every day. I also know that the teachers in her classroom are switching out once the ones in the morning have been there for over 8 hours which I don't blame them. We also get charged 5 dollars a minute if we are past the cut off time to be picking up our DD but luckily that hasn't ever happened. We also don't like our DD being the last one to be picked up from daycare in her class. We try to have either my husband or I get there around the same time everyday to get her. We also know what a handful our DD can be and always make sure that she's obeying and doing what she should be doing with all her other classmates when we go to drop her off or pick her up. They let us know on her daily sheet if she had a problem and what they have been working on her with so we know what she's been up to. There was a note sent home with our DD last year that was letting all parents know that they are opened for 12 hours straight and that they understand parents have other stipulations while their child is at daycare but to please try and limit the time their child is there to 9 hours if possible. My DH and I were offended when we got this because of the good money we pay them to watch our DD and we stick to usually a 9 hour time frame that she spends there. I called the director there and asked when usually the last kid in her room is picked up so we knew not to allow her to be the last one or to hold up any of the teachers from closing the room for the night and she said they are opened till 630 and to not worry about it as long as they aren't picked up after that. That made me feel good and happy. My DH and I realized that they wanted to treat all of us parents the same and not single out any of the ones that go beyond that time frame. I'm sure you are having it rough with all the older kids you have and dealing with attitudes and whatever else from them all by yourself and you need to vent here and there which you're allowed to but I think maybe you have too much on your plate and need to limit the number of kids especially with the ages they are to a certain number or have someone else offer to come help you and work with you? You know the saying "it takes a village to raise a child"? I really believe in that. You need to try and have patience and just work with the kids and not give into their little games but yet be encouraging and positive about things so they know you're not budging when it's just you against all of them. I was a bit surprised when I first read your post but after reading many comments I was trying to see it from a different angle and I think you're just burnt out and tired of getting used and walked all over by parents and you don't have the courage or gut to say anything to them because you love their kids yet they are messing with your schedule and don't seem to be the best of parents to their kids anyways. Just try to breath and figure out a solution! Hope that helps!
  • wbrauns said:
    I live in a very small town, we are friendly with each our families outside of work, as we all live on the same block. I know what these families do for work, etc etc. Staying home with a newborn is one thing, but that isn't the case here. And I care for these kids, I get attached to these kids, I love these kids, I am not a robot who just performs a job and checks out at the end of the day, and personally, I would be pretty upset if my kid was staying with someone who was. If you think a kid should spend the maximum amount of time a daycare allows, that's on you. Personally, I believe kids should spend more waking time with their own parents, than the daycare provider, but I guess I'm in the minority on that one. And I have a right to my own opinion, whether you think so or not, just because you don't agree with my opinion, doesn't mean I don't have the right to one.
    Which is, you know, impossible if you work FT. And possibly even PT.

    When my kid started a Montessori at 2, they wanted him to start putting his shoes/coat/etc. on himself too. And we absolutely worked with him at home on this but you know what? A lot of times we did it for him when we were leaving school and do you know why? SO WE COULD GET HOME QUICKER AND HAVE MORE TIME.

    If you have a problem with one family then drop them or TELL them instead of just bitching here. I mean, don't tell them they are feeding their kids junk (because, none of your business) and don't tell them how they should be spending their time (because, again, none of your business). But there is nothing wrong with implementing a late charge or asking them to work on having their kid be more independent.
  • MrsBigTimeMrsBigTime member
    edited April 2014
    I have not read through all the comments, so if this is repetitive at all, I apologize. I was also going to write something without anger, but really, the more I think about it, your attitude pisses me off!

    It's one thing to vent and complain about parents who are shitty. I'm assuming the parent who took the afternoon off, may have neglectful tendencies that are bigger than watching TV for an hour or so while his/her children are safely being cared for (and on an adventure from what it sounds like, if I knew that my kid was going somewhere fun and I got off early, I'd probably let my kid go do the fun thing, but that's not were I'm going here). But, how dare you complain about children needing their freaking coats zipped up! 

    @wbrauns You are caring for children! Toddlers! If you can't handle zipping 6 coats, then choose to watch less kids - you choose how many to take! That's the luxury of an in-home daycare, you are the boss! 

    I just spent three weeks agonizing over what to do for childcare for my daughter. I thought I was afraid before, afraid of normal things like my daughter's safety, will the nanny/babysitter be sweet enough, will they get along? Will my daughter miss me? Will she be safe? Will my babysitter respond quickly and appropriately if she chokes? OMG, would my nanny ever hurt my baby? 

    But, now, thanks to you, I now get to worry about new things like: will the babysitter hold it against me if I ask her to come for a night off? What if I use her while I have lunch with a friend instead of going to work - is that bad? Will she begrudge my toddler who can't dress herself yet? I wonder if I can teach my 15 month old how to change her own diapers in a week, I'd hate to put my babysitter out at all!

    It sounds like you need a break from what you are doing - I'd highly suggest it because the children in your care deserve better than someone who things negative thoughts about them when they want a little attention.


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  • You need to create a log in system so you can charge your parents based on the hours they want to leave their kids there. 1-39 hours gets a part time rate, 40-50 hours gets a full time rate, and 51-60 gets a higher rate. Then make your parents schedule the actual time they want their kids there. If they don't follow it, charge $15 per hour over with a 15 minute grace period. That's what our daycare does.
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  • Dude, guys, I thought she said she was a troll....? Isn't this all MUD then?
  • LimaDLimaD member

    NVandGZ said:
    Dude, guys, I thought she said she was a troll....? Isn't this all MUD then?
    No, she was being sarcastic. She doesn't see any problem with what or how she said what she said in her original post, so all of these responses are "amusing" to her I guess and a waste of her time.
     Look at some of her past posts, she refers to her in-home daycare frequently.
  • I'm not saying you're not right about some of these things, but know your audience. Complaining about daycare parents to a bunch of moms is probably the not the best choice.




  • LimaD said:

    NVandGZ said:
    Dude, guys, I thought she said she was a troll....? Isn't this all MUD then?
    No, she was being sarcastic. She doesn't see any problem with what or how she said what she said in her original post, so all of these responses are "amusing" to her I guess and a waste of her time.
     Look at some of her past posts, she refers to her in-home daycare frequently.

    Oh. I guess I'm slow at picking that up.
  • You sound like an amazing child care provider and those parents are probably very happy that their children are in your care.

    As a working mom myself, I too don't understand some working parents.  I race home everyday to pick up my daughter.  If I'm off or home early, I take advantage of the extra time I can spend with her.  I really don't like to judge but 6 seems really late to pick up your kid if you get off work early. 

    I also never understood the junk food.  We're all tired but we all have an obligation to our children to give them the best nutrition possible.  I used to work at a summer camp and I was appalled and the lunches the parents would pack their kids. 

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  • Nicb13 said:
    wbrauns said:

    I think she'd be willing to work 40.  
    It's no wonder daycare providers are so under appreciated. 


    I really want to know if you can see why we are all so offended by this post? Do you even see how insulting to parents in general this is? 

     I mean shit, I give in to my picky eater and let him have a PB&J, and sometimes I do too much for him and help him when he can clearly do it on his own and sometimes I want to leave work and go take a nap or watch fucking TV without DS there but that doesn't make me less of a parent. You are complaining about normal kid behavior and kind of making fun of them at the same time.


    Woah!  I just read all the comments and I think people are getting way too upset over this.  OP was just venting and I don't think she was talking about parents who get off work early and take some "me time" occasionally.  I think she was talking about parents who do this all the time.  I've worked at numerous daycares and it was always the same parents who would come late to come get their kids.  It's annoying after awhile.  6 is freakin' late to pick up your kid and now your going to pick your kid up even later than that. 

    Also, I think OP's clients need to respect the fact that this is HER HOME.  I think it's very rude to consistently arrive late picking up your kid.

    And PB&J is not junk food in my opinion. 

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  • Nicb13 said:
    wbrauns said:

    I think she'd be willing to work 40.  
    It's no wonder daycare providers are so under appreciated. 


    I really want to know if you can see why we are all so offended by this post? Do you even see how insulting to parents in general this is? 

     I mean shit, I give in to my picky eater and let him have a PB&J, and sometimes I do too much for him and help him when he can clearly do it on his own and sometimes I want to leave work and go take a nap or watch fucking TV without DS there but that doesn't make me less of a parent. You are complaining about normal kid behavior and kind of making fun of them at the same time.


    Woah!  I just read all the comments and I think people are getting way too upset over this.  OP was just venting and I don't think she was talking about parents who get off work early and take some "me time" occasionally.  I think she was talking about parents who do this all the time.  I've worked at numerous daycares and it was always the same parents who would come late to come get their kids.  It's annoying after awhile.  6 is freakin' late to pick up your kid and now your going to pick your kid up even later than that. 

    Also, I think OP's clients need to respect the fact that this is HER HOME.  I think it's very rude to consistently arrive late picking up your kid.

    And PB&J is not junk food in my opinion. 

    Yeah, I've clarified quite a few times, but definitely not talking about parents who get off work an hour or two early, and take some time for themselves. I am talking about the parents who get off at noon, multiple times a week, and still leave their kids at my house until 6:00, or later, every single day. A PP said that at their daycare, children aren't allowed to be there for over 9 hours/day, even though the daycare is open for 12 hours. Which I think is a really good idea. I love my daycare kids. I really do, which is maybe why it upsets me so much that these parents choose to spend 30+ hours a week without them. 

    And as for "not knowing what their parents are doing" I've had their Mom show up at my house at 6:15 and say, "I'm sorry for being late, DH got off work at noon and I called him at 5:00 and asked him to come get the kids, but I guess the TV is more important."

    So, yeah, maybe I didn't give enough backstory, but I was venting, and it is frustrating to see these parents, or this Dad, at home, multiple times a week, and drive by and have the kids ask, "Why won't Daddy come get us?". Sorry, but it seems like quite a few posters on here is jumping to the defense of the parents who are "needing some alone time" and no one seems to be focusing on the kids.

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