i had a blighted ovum and an ectopic prgnancy at the same time

sparks3march

i got pregnant was nervous because i always wondered about the crazy stories. little did i no i would experiencing a nightmare. Due to my job being on construction sites i told my supervisor so that in the first trimester i would be careful. i experience slight spotting at three weeks and went to the doctor immediately where he said everything was ok. thats how i knew i was three weeks. said it could be implantation. 

ok going along ok i think couple weeks after i felt a gush. went back by him only to be told you have a missed miscarriage the baby is no longer there. devastated and felt empty. at that point my body felt empty i wasn't feeling the bloated way, i dunno how to describe it but it was just empty. that was a saturday, 2 days before my anniversary - early march, he said expect heavy bleeding and the passing of the sac. i took the week off from work just so i wont have to face anyone. nothing happened, no blood no pain no cramps. i called by the thursday to find out if everything was ok and he said no. went back to him and he said he still not seeing anything. i would have to do a D&C. couldnt do it private since it was $9400. so opted for public health care. went the monday was sent tru casualty department. they took a pregnancy test and was still positive. so confused in a wheel chair with drips i was carried to the ward. was told to come back the Wednesday to be admitted. they did there ultra sound and saw the "mass" by the ovaries. even ,more confused as to why 6 days before the private doctor couldnt dectect it. and by that time i was 9 weeks. at this point i was crying non stop. had to remain in hospital 7 days under observation. my hormone level was 32000. now i got to realize after it was really high and wasn't to be used for the methotrexate. they just used me as a trial. by april 5th my tube burst was bleeding internally and had to do emergency surgery. so the injection didnt work for me. its like they were playing russian roulette with my life.

i don't smoke, don't drink abusively, i have one partner, don't do drugs. 

its been a roller coaster of emotions. There is no normalcy. i have kept busy. and as i type today april 5 saturday will make it one year. March has been emotional and depressing. sometimes i feel i don't want to burden my friends or family with it. and then there are those who think you a rabbit and say you can try again. but after all that i don't think so. my husband doesn't understand. and i HATE when someone says dont dwell on it. its not like you go around doing so. things happen. you see people with babies its all in your face. i still feel empty. SIGH....

ASRDH

I had my emergency ectopic surgery 11 days ago. I was told I had a miscarriage 6 weeks prior, it was clearly not what had happened. Its amazing how quickly our bodies respond to that little glimmer of life, bloating, hormones, and that 'full' feeling in our hearts. We are hooked as soon as we see that blue line. Guys don't feel it, they dont get it. They are focused on our physical healing after an emergency but quickly forget or just don't know how to deal with the emotional healing. Unless a friend has personally had a miscarriage, they don't understand either. The 'well wishers' saying you can try again don't realize how much we wanted that baby and how that tears us open again, all the hopes we had and the pain we experienced. To think of reliving that again, scares me as much as the desire to feel precious fullness again. Its a war of mind and heart.
When I thought I had the m/c, an elderly woman on my congregation, who had no idea that I had lost, spoke of her children and spoke of her 4th she lost in a m/c. She's in her 70s plus... She has not forgotten. It gave me a peace to know that we can continue to laugh and find a way to enjoy life. But it does not mean that we have forgotten.
Spill you heart here. Find a friend or family member who will hold you when you need it. You are not alone. Hugs.

stephy1221

*ticker warning*

I am so sorry for your loss and your experience. When you don't want to talk to family and friends we are here and know how it hurts. hugs.

sparks3march

thank you 

hbpswedding

I'm so sorry you went through all of that. And I'm afraid I'm headed down the same path. I had a natural miscarriage this past April at 5w5d and I am either miscarrying again or having an ectopic pregnancy at what I think is 6w. I have to see the Dr. Monday for more blood work and will find out which it is on Tuesday. Do you have any advice for me as to which treatment I should pursue?