When I was younger I SWORE I would be married with 2 kids and a dog with the white picket fence by the age of 28. Hahah Life sure has a way of letting you know you are not in control.
After spending almost 10 years with the wrong guy, I finally in Dec 2006 met Mr. Right at the age of 29. Got engaged after a few years ( March 2012). A few months later (August 2012) I was in a horrible car accident, which took a year to recover from. We got married in May of 2013, bought our house in August of 2013. In September of 2013 I was diagnosed with MS, started meds immediately! In Jan 2014 we decided we were READY! I went to all my doctors and was given the okay to TTC. I stopped all meds in Feb and we are now fully TTC and guess what I am 35!!
TTC since March 2014, but was NTNP since 2007.
Found out in May I have 2 blocked tubes.
Waiting too see my doctor again to decide next steps.
I just turned 37 in March, we are actively TTC our second child. My husband turns 41 in July, yes we might be older but I don't think it'll be dramatic. You just have babies have babies and seeing a 20-25 yr old with a 5th grader so 35-40 seems old but as my son is in PreK 3 now, I'm about average with the bulk of his classmates parents, a few seem older than me and a few younger but by no more than 3-5 years. So I'm much more comfortable having kids now then I was a few years ago
Every choice that is made is a personal one. I am 42 with a 7 month old & we are currently TTC our 2nd. I never planned to have children in my 40s but that's how life went. We are so blessed to have our daughter as we struggled with infertility. Hopefully baby #2 will happen more easily.
Sorry for your loss. I was paralyzed by my miscarriage when I was pregnant the first time at age 31 and now reaching 40 haven't had much luck in getting pregnant again. I still want a Child and will do all the natural remedies to try again, I don't have money for IVF or other costly methods. Do what's in your heart
Sorry for your baby. I lost a baby in NICU last June. But I would stop at 35 b/c I have had too many premature births and with my luck would have more problems.
You need to feel complete or you will always have regrets. Look at all the people who have kids at 45. It is not ideal but if it feels right then it is worth it. I always said I would be done by 30 and now with pregnancy issues its going to be later. I was reading on a site I like to go on [EDITED] and I always see people who have babies late in age. You need to do what you feel right now what is the norm.
I'm very sorry for your loss. I our everything works out as planned.
I always planned to be done by thirty. I am pregnant with my second daughter now and I'm 28. I plan on getting my tubes tied after I deliver. My husband wants more kid but there is nothing appealing to me about being an older mom or having back to back kids as my oldest daughter is eight so snip snip for me.
So sorry for your lost. I will post my opinion here, but every case is unique and your doctor will tell you the best for you.
I am 25 and expecting my first child. Being a medical doctor I knew that having children after 35 is risky, also before that age one usually has more energy, time and health to give children what they need, although there is the benefit of being economically more stable after 35, but your life and your baby's life could be at risk. Now I am having my child, then I will begin fellowship next year, which will not be easy, and, if everything goes as we want, we will have a second baby in my 3rd year of fellowship, then I will be by 30 years old and probably we will have only two kids, but 35 is my cut off. My husband is 32, which also counts for the cut off.
I can totally relate! I set a deadline for 30 to be done and had four children (including twins) with my now ex husband by age 29. Life happens and when I started dating again, I was honestly looking for a divorcee with a couple kids and a vasectomy! Instead I fell in love and married someone seven years younger than me that had never been married or had children. He is a wonderful dad and we decided to have a child together. We unfortunately got pregnant on the pill last year and lost our baby boy around 18 weeks. (Uterine lining was just not thick enough to support the placenta) We are trying one last time and I'm 11 weeks along. I'll be 38 when I deliver.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have all sorts of plans, I love to make them but I always remember that they are just plans. I would like to be done by age 30. I'm not sure if it'll happen, only time will tell. I always have thought that once my kids (depending on when I have them) get older, if I'm in the position to, I'd like foster kids until I'm so old I can't do it anymore! I think everyone is different. I know 25 year olds that can't keep up with their toddlers and 60 year olds that have no trouble in a classroom of 8 toddlers. Good luck on your journey.
TTC #1: February 1, 2014 BFP #1: 2/21/14 EDD: 10/31/14 (my birthday!) MMC:discovered 3/31/14 (blighted ovum) D&C: 4/3/14 at 9w6d
I got married when I was 34 and said that 40 was my cut off since we were having problems conceiving. I had my son at 39 and just had my daughter at 42. It's just a number ....I think they came when they were supposed to and me and hubby have plenty of life experiences to share with them.
Like many others have noted, I, too, thought I'd be done by 35. However, life throws us some fascinating and incredible curve balls sometimes. I just turned 41 last Saturday - just 5 days after baby #5 was born! (Our first was born one month before my 29th birthday.) My husband turns 43 in 9 days. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have five kids, let alone be pregnant at 40. But, it happened, and I have NO regrets. We have, however, made the conscious decision to be officially done this time. And, yes, our ages were a contributing factor in our decision. I am a little sad that my childbearing days are over, but now all of my energy can be focused on simply raising and nurturing my beautiful family. We feel eternally grateful that I had a normal, healthy pregnancy, and that our children are okay. As we've all read or have been told, problems can increase exponentially once we've reached the threshold of "advanced maternal age".
We're looking forward to doing more traveling with our children as they get older, would like to retire at a reasonable time, and the thought of going through menopause with a hormonal teenager in the house scares me (#5 is a girl), lol!
Just remember, there is no right time to start or stop having children, except what feels right for YOU. All the best to you in whatever decision you make! YOUR and YOUR PARTNER'S choice will be the RIGHT one. :-)
I haven't thought about it to much as I am only 22 but my dad had me at 40. And was also raised by my aunt and uncle. They are in their mid 60s now and my dad passed away at 60 (but he had very poor health due to a few factors including past drug use).
Not sure what I am getting at. I guess I'm trying to say it doesn't bother me that my parents are older.
First--- I’m very sorry to hear about your
son. My condolences.
Even though I feel older (I'm 35), I know I’m not too old to do it. For me, my personal cut off
would be 45, but that’s only because I want the house to myself after a certain
age.
In all seriousness, as long as your body is
healthy and you can reproduce, then I say go for it. Age doesn't matter as much
anymore.
No cutoff for me, although its likely that we are done now, for practical and financial reasons - we are 35 and 36 and have two amazing little boys. However if something were to change and we wanted another baby, age wouldn't stop us. I'd absolutely go for it into early 40's and possibly later. Life is complicated and unpredictable. I just don't believe in setting arbitrary limits.
FWIW, my parents were young when they had me (24 and 28) and it really didn't impact my feelings in this issue at all.
Mine is 35ish. Maybe a few years before. But I definitely won't be having any babies after 35. My mom got pregnant at 39 with my little sister... my sister is fine, but let's just say that pregnancy was a bit... chaotic. I've been a little put off by the idea personally. I know lots of 40 somethings who are having healthy babies and healthy pregnancies. But for me... not a risk I'm willing to take.
I am so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine getting through something like that. You are amazing!
I really hope to be done by 30/31/ I had my daughter just after my 24th bday and we are TTC # 2 right now. I will be 27 in April 2015, so IF we decided to have a third (which I'm not super stoked about even though DH seems to like the idea) I would hopefully be 30 when I have the last one. But I'm totally ok with being done @ 27. I am not the healthiest 26 year old and my health issues are only getting worse with age, so I honestly don't think I would be able to be a very good mom if I had kids into my 30's. I want to be the best mom I can be and that means acknowledging my limitations.
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If you are still coming back to this, I just want to say how sorry I am for your loss and hope that you and yours are doing well.
I will admit I did not read every post so this may be a repeat (sorry). I have read many studies lately that paint a very positive picture for those of us that decide to have children later in life. One study suggested that women that have children later in life, tend to live longer (probably for other correlated reasons, but not a direct cause). Another study showed that "older" women were more likely to have twins.
Life expectancy is also greater than it was for the generation before us, so maybe it is natural that child rearing happen later in life?
DH is convinced he wants to finish having kids by the time he is 30 so that way they are out of the house by the time he is 50. He is turning 29 this December! (He jokes about it more than he is serious and I keep reminding him about how we moved back in with my parents, twice, after we were 20 haha!) Unfortunately for him, in order for that to happen not only would I have to get pregnant immediately but I would also have to have my children back to back. Um, can I get a "hell no?" lol!
I personally don't have a cut off age. I'm 26 so I've got plenty of time.
I am so sorry for your loss. Personally, I feel if your body can handle it, have babies as late as you want. I was 43 when I had my daughter (after 9 years of dealing with infertility) but she's so worth it. She actually makes me feel younger!
So sorry about your loss. As far as how old is to old? Well that depends on you and your spouse. I was divorced w/3 kids in my early 30s. I have met a wonderful man w/no kids who took to being a dad naturally. At 39 I decided to return to college and be a full time student. Now at age of 41, he at 43, we are expecting a new bundle of joy. We are raising 3 teenagers and are looking forward to the new arrival (boy). He would like to have another after this. Who knows what the future holds.
I always thought I would be done having kids by 30. I will be having my first shortly after my 27th birthday and if all goes ok I am either one and done or one more around 29/30. However, if we have trouble conceiving a second I would probably push it back to 35. My mom had me and my brother at 20/22 then my younger brother in her mid 30's and she said it was way harder starting over when we were already teenagers so I am hoping to keep them as close as possible in age if we do have more than one. IF I didn't get married as young and start trying as young I don't think I would have a problem trying at 40, my cousin is 40 and just had a baby with her new husband and she will probably have one more.
I know this is late to the game, but I am going to be 38 at the end of this year and probably TTC #2 sometime around then. For me, personally, a bigger age gap is more important than my age (within reason). I am so sorry for what you went through with your son. I can imagine that you need time to heal. I chuckle to myself when I see people's limit being 35 because that feels so young to me. One more point, a friend had her first babies when she was in her 20s and third when she was in her 40s. She had more energy the first time round and more patience the second time round. All the best.
I just had my 2nd son at 43, my first was born at 40. It has it's pros and cons. Physically I feel it is more challenging especially with active boys. I feel that being older I am more emotionally and mentally capable than I would've been in my 20s or 30s. However if I had to do it over again I would probably have tried in my mid to late 30s.
Geez I'm feeling really old then I didn't even start to feel "clucky" until @28, my partner loves kids so much, I decided he would make a great dad, I had my first the day before my 30th birthday, my second child 1 1/2 years later (I wanted to have my children close in age and be done with all the baby stuff early. Accidents do happen, I always left a ? Mark baby with 40 being my cut off for "last chance baby" or adopt or foster. But here we go again (I'm 38, 39 this nov). I don't feel old, it's all in your head. I skateboard with my kids and we are a very active family in a comfortable financial situation (I do believe this makes life less stressful and takes pressure off our situation). I think I have more patience as an "older" parent I would never have thought about kids any earlier and my partner and I had already set our futures up before we met (I was 27 he was 33). Best of luck and go with your heart and emotional physical health as your guide. If you feel you want another, don't let anyone bring your dream down with ageisms. Parents can be wonderful or not so wonderful, at any age. X
I am so sorry for your loss. I can not even imagine that feeling. I had always said I wanted all my kids before I turned 30. I turn 31 next month and I have been considering #3 lately. Just have to wait for DH to also want #3. Best of luck to you.
BFP: 12-7-11,Bleeding/Cramping 5.5 wks along, Missing our August Angel
I can see you feeling like your family is incomplete after you MC, and I am sorry for your loss and the grief that comes along with that. I do not see a problem with you having the desire to try to get pregnant at your age. That being said keep i nmind that with age comes the increased of complication in your pregnancy and birth, although being medically in "advanced maternal age" doesn't always those complications will arise. I had a baby at 17 that I placed for adoption, and so I got to experience pregnancy at a young age, and truly believe thats it's easier, but thats just me. My husband and I hope be done having kids (and possibly done nursing with our last) by the time I am thirty. But that is just us, as I prefer to have all my kids younger. But there is nothing WRONG with having a child in your coming years, my mom had my sister at 42 and had no complications!
My cut off is 30 but everyone has different thoughts in pregnancy but I have a 1.5 year old and one on the way and I am 20 but I want three more before I'm 30 but that's just me because of scientific proof of higher birth defects
I used to say I was done at 35. Then I had #3 at 37 and now I'm TTC#4 at 39. I said that #4 would be my last since I'll be 40 in a few months but I found myself thinking of a #5 yesterday. So I don't know if I'll ever be done!
Me 41 DH 33 Married 09/03/2011 DD1 EDD 08/18/01, born 08/03/2001 ~ 9lbs 10oz, 21.5 in
DS1 EDD 4/30/2004, born 05/04/2004 ~ 10lbs, 22 in mc 02/14/12 @ 5 weeks
DD2 EDD 12/25/12, born 12/30/12 ~ 10lbs 11oz, 21.25 in mc 12/05/15 @ 12 weeks Cautiously expecting 12/02/16
Sorry for your loss at 27 weeks...how devastating! Maybe you have already made your decision by the time I'm posting this but....no cut off! When it is meant to be it will be. My husband & I were married when I was 25 & he was 43 (only marriage both of us)....our 1st son was born when I was just shy of 26. I had 2 early miscarriages during the next 14 years and had come to terms with the fact that I had an "heir with no spare". The week of my 40th birthday I found out I was pregnant...gave birth to my second child at almost age 41. I had a Csection due to preeclampsia and we had a Down syndrome scare but he was perfectly healthy and beautiful. He just turned 5 recently and at almost age 46 I just gave birth to a baby girl...my hubby is now 63, my oldest son almost 20. She is also perfectly healthy. My pregnancy was healthier than with my other 2 and I gained the least weight. None of my kids were "planned" by us either...they "happened". My sister in law had her last 2 kids at age 43 & 44, my grandma had her last child at 43...they are healthy too. I definitely don't have the energy I had in my 20's but have more patience, experience & gratitude for the miracles I have received. It is physically harder with sleepless nights etc. I wonder why these children came to me at such a late age instead of during my 2 earlier pregnancies that miscarried when I was in my 20's & 30's....but there must be some preordained reason out of my comprehension why they are here now. So, it does happen in the forties (and beyond...my dr. knew a lady who conceived at 50 not trying). But, because the miscarriage and abnormalities risks go up dramatically after age 40 I would pursue it while still in your 30's if I were you, also would have closer spacing with your daughter. I would try as soon as you feel ready...if it is meant to be it will be. There is also new non invasive testing you can have early on ("Maternal 21" blood test) that tests for fetal chromosomal abnormalities from your blood....I had it done this time and knew at 13 weeks the gender and had the peace of mind of knowing we had no major chromosomal problems.
First I want to start off by saying that I am sorry for your loss....
For me I want to have 3 (maybe 4) kids, but I want to be done with pregnancy by 35. Only because I had my daughter at 20 and when she is 20 I will be 40. I want to be able to enjoy that time with her and if by chance she was to get married young and have a baby even though I will possibly have a 5 year old, I want to enjoy my grandkids. I want to be able to be there and help her when she needs me, like my mom was for me, and that will definitely be hard if I have a newborn too! My mom had me at 23, my 2nd brother at 30, and my 3rd brother at 33. I had my daughter at 20 my son at 28, and I plan to start TTC next year and I will be 31, and if all things go as planned (I know that they cannot) then that is the path that I plan to follow. But I definitely think that if I had, had my first child later in life that my cutoff age would be different. Good luck to you!
My husband and I just got married last month and are planning on ttc possibly next December. We would like to enjoy about a year and a half of marriage before trying. I am 22 and he is 21 and we want to be young parents--our hope is that we'll have our first child by the time we are 25. Both he and I have young parents and we love that since our parents are younger, chances are we'll have them around for longer. We also want to be young parents so that our children will have us and their grandparents around longer. We haven't really discussed a cut off, but I would personally like to be done by age 30. Since I will probably be 24 when we start ttc, that would give us 6 years to complete our family. We would like 2-3 children but our feelings may change after we have our first. Honestly, none of us know how our lives will play out and while we have an idea of how we'd like to plan our family, we know that things are subject to change depending on our circumstances. We are done with college, have awesome careers, and are now enjoying being married. The only thing missing is having children! We are enjoying it being just us but we are excited to start a family sometime in the semi-near future.
I'm 35 and my husband is 41. He has three sons from a previous marriage, he swore he was done. But we are expecting in May and he (we) couldn't be happier! I'm ok being an older mom. I did all the things I wanted to do as a young woman (Air Force, travel, drink, party, etc.) so now is the perfect time to settle down and focus on my family.
I'm 31 and my husband is 32, we have two little boys and are about 75% sure we would like to have one more child, and two if my husband gets his way, we'll see, but I would like to be done by the time I'm 35. Our first child was a high risk pregnancy and our second was high risk because of the first one so I don't know if I want to test the waters of age contributing to our pre existing, high risk factors
Re: Do you have an Age cut off for having babies?
[url=http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1a1ae8.aspx[/img][/url]
I always planned to be done by thirty. I am pregnant with my second daughter now and I'm 28. I plan on getting my tubes tied after I deliver. My husband wants more kid but there is nothing appealing to me about being an older mom or having back to back kids as my oldest daughter is eight so snip snip for me.
I am 25 and expecting my first child. Being a medical doctor I knew that having children after 35 is risky, also before that age one usually has more energy, time and health to give children what they need, although there is the benefit of being economically more stable after 35, but your life and your baby's life could be at risk.
Now I am having my child, then I will begin fellowship next year, which will not be easy, and, if everything goes as we want, we will have a second baby in my 3rd year of fellowship, then I will be by 30 years old and probably we will have only two kids, but 35 is my cut off. My husband is 32, which also counts for the cut off.
TTC #1: February 1, 2014
BFP #1: 2/21/14 EDD: 10/31/14 (my birthday!) MMC: discovered 3/31/14 (blighted ovum) D&C: 4/3/14 at 9w6d
TTC #1 (Round 2): May 16, 2014
Names | Blog | Chart
"Everybody wants to be happy. Nobody wants to feel pain but you can't have a rainbow without the rain."
Like many others have noted, I, too, thought I'd be done by 35. However, life throws us some fascinating and incredible curve balls sometimes. I just turned 41 last Saturday - just 5 days after baby #5 was born! (Our first was born one month before my 29th birthday.) My husband turns 43 in 9 days. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would have five kids, let alone be pregnant at 40. But, it happened, and I have NO regrets. We have, however, made the conscious decision to be officially done this time. And, yes, our ages were a contributing factor in our decision. I am a little sad that my childbearing days are over, but now all of my energy can be focused on simply raising and nurturing my beautiful family. We feel eternally grateful that I had a normal, healthy pregnancy, and that our children are okay. As we've all read or have been told, problems can increase exponentially once we've reached the threshold of "advanced maternal age".
We're looking forward to doing more traveling with our children as they get older, would like to retire at a reasonable time, and the thought of going through menopause with a hormonal teenager in the house scares me (#5 is a girl), lol!
Just remember, there is no right time to start or stop having children, except what feels right for YOU. All the best to you in whatever decision you make! YOUR and YOUR PARTNER'S choice will be the RIGHT one. :-)
Not sure what I am getting at. I guess I'm trying to say it doesn't bother me that my parents are older.
Mommy loves you Eevee!
<a href="http://s834.photobucket.com/albums/zz270/cpali/?action=view
First--- I’m very sorry to hear about your son. My condolences.
Even though I feel older (I'm 35), I know I’m not too old to do it. For me, my personal cut off would be 45, but that’s only because I want the house to myself after a certain age.
In all seriousness, as long as your body is healthy and you can reproduce, then I say go for it. Age doesn't matter as much anymore.
My BFP Chart
FWIW, my parents were young when they had me (24 and 28) and it really didn't impact my feelings in this issue at all.
Big hugs and I am very sorry for your loss.
DH-34-MFI-motility+morphology.... Me-32-Hypothyrpid+LPD
7/8/11: Clomid100mg+Ovidrel+IUI#1=BFN
8/2/11: Clomid50mg+Ovidrel+IUI#2=BFFN
8/25/11: Follistim50iu+Ovidrel+IUI#3=BFP!!!!@14dpo
Beta#1 9/8 - 251 Beta#2 9/15 - 1622 Beta#3 9/22 - 12674
1st U/S; heard one beautiful HB of 129 - 9/29/11
OB visit; HB of 166 - 10/13/11
2nd US; HB of 163 - 10/18/11
A/S - 12/9/11 - It's a perfect healthy BOY!!!!
Our miracle baby boy - born 5/24/12
Met: 08/2001 ~ Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
So sorry for your loss.
I always thought I would be done having kids by 30. I will be having my first shortly after my 27th birthday and if all goes ok I am either one and done or one more around 29/30. However, if we have trouble conceiving a second I would probably push it back to 35. My mom had me and my brother at 20/22 then my younger brother in her mid 30's and she said it was way harder starting over when we were already teenagers so I am hoping to keep them as close as possible in age if we do have more than one. IF I didn't get married as young and start trying as young I don't think I would have a problem trying at 40, my cousin is 40 and just had a baby with her new husband and she will probably have one more.
Best of luck and go with your heart and emotional physical health as your guide. If you feel you want another, don't let anyone bring your dream down with ageisms. Parents can be wonderful or not so wonderful, at any age. X
BFP: 12-7-11,Bleeding/Cramping 5.5 wks along, Missing our August Angel
I used to say I was done at 35. Then I had #3 at 37 and now I'm TTC#4 at 39. I said that #4 would be my last since I'll be 40 in a few months but I found myself thinking of a #5 yesterday. So I don't know if I'll ever be done!
DD1 EDD 08/18/01, born 08/03/2001 ~ 9lbs 10oz, 21.5 in
DS1 EDD 4/30/2004, born 05/04/2004 ~ 10lbs, 22 in
mc 02/14/12 @ 5 weeks
DD2 EDD 12/25/12, born 12/30/12 ~ 10lbs 11oz, 21.25 in
mc 12/05/15 @ 12 weeks
Cautiously expecting 12/02/16
My husband and I just got married last month and are planning on ttc possibly next December. We would like to enjoy about a year and a half of marriage before trying. I am 22 and he is 21 and we want to be young parents--our hope is that we'll have our first child by the time we are 25. Both he and I have young parents and we love that since our parents are younger, chances are we'll have them around for longer. We also want to be young parents so that our children will have us and their grandparents around longer. We haven't really discussed a cut off, but I would personally like to be done by age 30. Since I will probably be 24 when we start ttc, that would give us 6 years to complete our family. We would like 2-3 children but our feelings may change after we have our first. Honestly, none of us know how our lives will play out and while we have an idea of how we'd like to plan our family, we know that things are subject to change depending on our circumstances. We are done with college, have awesome careers, and are now enjoying being married. The only thing missing is having children! We are enjoying it being just us but we are excited to start a family sometime in the semi-near future.