TTC After a Loss

Finally had the 'what next' talk with hubby... (sorry, very long and rambly)

So we're nearing the end of our 4th clomid cycle, and heavy spotting since 8DPO and a plummeting temp this morning resulted in a bit of a breakdown on my part and prompted the talk that hubby and I have been studiously avoiding until now. Quick recap: I live in a small northern BC town where even OBs are only available in the city an hour away, and it's an 11 hour drive to the nearest fertility clinic; the OB I'm seeing is head of obstetrics at the one hospital in the city and considered the best in the area, he will do clomid cycles but basically only unmonitored except for CD21 progesterone checks each cycle.  Anyways, when we met with the OB in the fall we were told to check back if we were unsuccessful after 4-5 cycles, and next steps would be to refer us to the fertility clinic for IVF.  At the time we just really hoped the clomid would do its job, and so didn't really talk about 'what ifs'.  Pure avoidance I know, but there it is.  But we finally did buckle down and talk it out.

Basically, we know we can't afford treatment, it would all be OOP and we'd have to be dealing with the extremities of traveling back and forth such a distance on top of it all - cue either two days of driving or $1000+ for plane tickets each time we'd have to go down, not to mention all the hotel stays and untold days off work just to get back and forth.  Hubby has gone back to school and won't be done until the end of the year, so we're on limited income as it is, and all savings and borrowing power are tied up in tuition.  I admit that in the back of my mind I've held this fantasy that when we finally had our talk hubby would have some magical plan in mind for making treatment a possibility, but really I know our avoidance of the issue was due to us both knowing it just isn't doable but not wanting to voice it out loud to the other.  

We can still try on our own, of course, but given my age (40), my effed up excessively spotting body, and the fact that it's been over a year since our loss with absolutely no indications of success in any way, hope that anything will happen just seems pretty nonexistent, laughable really.  What's that saying, the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results?  Honestly, even though I'd trained myself to expect BFNs each cycle as a way to protect my heart, I still had a vague hope that things would work out somehow, that one of these clomid cycles would just surprise me with success.  I guess you have to harbour some hope at some point, or why would you carry on trying?  But putting voice to where we're at with things just makes it seem so real.  We're nearing the end of our journey, there's no way to get around that fact.  No further medical help, no boost of new hope that would come with new treatment, no real plan going forward.  Just more of the same, temping and charting and trying on our own despite everything telling me it hasn't worked for over a year now, so why on earth would I expect it will down the road.  Definition of stupidity, right?!  

I just don't know.  I don't feel like I can carry on indefinitely, but I also don't feel like I'm quite ready to let it all go yet.  At what point will I be able to accept things as they are and allow myself to move on?  I guess in the end I'll just know when I know.  Sort of the opposite of "when the desire for a baby outweighs the fear", maybe when the pain of hoping and continuing to try cycle after cycle without success outweighs the desire to have a baby.  I know I'm not there yet, but I feel so much closer than I've ever been before and that's scary in and of itself. Time will tell I guess, I just hope I can find some peace with things somewhere along the way.

If you got this far, thank you so much for bearing with me while I attempt to sort myself out.  I'm not looking for advice per se, I don't really even know if there's any sort of question in all of this, but I've always been better able to deal with things once I've written them down, so I truly appreciate you all just giving me the space to do so.  I really don't know where I'd be without you all, the support of this board has meant more than I can ever possibly say.  ((hugs)) to all, and just thank you for being here.


     

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Married August 2012. Me: 41  DH: 42 
Daughter from previous marriage: 20

BFP 12/19/12: Ectopic discovered at 8 weeks, right tube removed 01/18/13
June 2013 Testing Results: Progesterone: 31.7, LH: 5, FSH: 5, Estradiol: 161
Clomid cycles Nov. 2013 and Jan, Feb, and March 2014

TTC journey over as of the end of October 2014

TTCAL BLOG

All ALers welcome!

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Re: Finally had the 'what next' talk with hubby... (sorry, very long and rambly)

  • Oh, I am so sorry you are going through this. I can totally see why you were hedging around talking about the next step, given that the next step seems to be both geographically and financially out of reach. I don't have any magic solutions, but I can offer a big (((hug))).

    image
    image
    DX: I'm a Recurrent Loser
    Me (35) + DH (37) - Married Sept. 2007
    BFP #1 - DS born 7/11/11
    BFP#2 11/13/13 - EDD 7/29/14 - M/C at 5w3d
    BFP #3 12/28/13 - EDD 9/7/14 - M/C at 4w6d
    BFP#4 3/27/14 -  EDD 12/5/14 - Girl lost to 45X at 8w6d - D&C 
    BFP#5 10/15/14 - EDD 6/30/15 - M/C at 7w2d
    BFP #6 1/5/15 - EDD 9.16.14 [CLICKY for progress]
    In search of a image


  • I'm so sorry you're going through this. (((Hugs)))

    TTC since May 2013
    BFP #1 11/22/13 EDD 7/31/14
    MMC 13 weeks - discovered 2/13/14 at 16 weeks - Trisomy 13 - D&C 2/14/14
    BFP #2 10/9/14 EDD 6/22/15
    ~Everyone is welcome~
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  • Oh I am so so sorry and I want to offer you big ((((hugs)))).
    image

    Me: 27 DH: 33
    Married 6 years
    Conceived DS after 4 years of MFI

    TTC # 2 (not trying,not preventing ever)
    May 2013 - August 2013 Timed Intercourse = BFN
    September 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs=BFN
    October 2013 Timed Intercourse, Weekly Acupuncture, Herbs, and "warming foods" = BFP
    Beta #1 19, Beta #2 18 Progesterone 4.6 Miscarried 11/9/13
    November 2013 - Benched, waiting for first post-loss AF.
    No longer benched per New RE/OB!
    Jan. 15 2014 - BFP. HCG 3900 - Ectopic :( 
    Jan. 16 2014 Left tube removed and D&C
    March 2, 2014 First AF


  • I love you. ((((Hugs))))

    I wish I had words to make this better or easier. This journey sucks and I hate to see you having to come to this point. More (((hugs))) and I'm glad you and YH finally talked.

    The day the Bump died - Jasper is wise
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  • so many ((hugs))

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)

    -5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)

    11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13

    8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF

    IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties

    12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!!  One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15

    Everyone Welcome.

  • I'm so sorry that you're going through this. (((Hugs)))

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    TTC #1 since January 2013

    BFP #1: April 5, 2013; EDD December 11, 2013; Missed M/C May 15, 2013

    BFP #2: February 17, 2014; EDD October 30, 2014; M/C March 15, 2014

    BFP #3: August 1, 2014; EDD April 14, 2015 - Praying for our RAINBOW!

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • I'm very sorry. (((hugs)))

    1 miracle Earth baby and 5 Angel babies

    ~All welcome~

  • Oh G I'm so sorry you're going through this. I just want to give you so many hugs.

    BFP: 9/21/13 | EDD:5/31/14 | MC confirmed:11/6/13 | D&C:11/12/13
    BFP: 1/14/14 | EDD: 9/21/14 | MC confirmed: 2/3/14 | D&C: 2/4/14
    DX 3/18/14 (Complete) Septate Uterus | Resection 4/22/14
    BFP: 8/5/14 | EDD: 4/19/15
    Pregnancy Ticker
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  • Oh my friend.... I am so glad you and your husband finally were able to talk about all of this... but I'm so sorry - just so, so sorry that treatment would be end up being so difficult for you because of all the logistics of everything.

    Please know that I love you dearly and am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers always. So many hugs to you, honey.

    dream 1 CAME TRUE 2.13.2010


     <dream 2> 12.2011


     2.10.12 : 4 weeks


    6.17.12 : 10 weeks


    10.10.12 : 4 weeks, 6 days


    12.13.12 : 9 weeks, 1 day


    4.6.13 : 4 weeks, 4 days


    10.27.13 : 5 weeks, 6 days


    4.2.14 (IVF #1) : 4 weeks, 1 day


    6.19.14 : IVF #2 Negative


     </dream 2>


     resolve.org


    AMA, Diminished Ovarian Reserve, heterozygous MTHFR


    "all it was was a fairytale and devotion to a dream"

    lyrics

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    ***All always welcome!!***

  • There are no words G. I'm sorry you find yourself at this point in your journey. Much love and many ((((hugs))))
  • HeyMrsPotterHeyMrsPotter member
    edited March 2014
    I'm so sorry you're faced with this, GS. I'm glad you've been able to talk/think/write through this and process it here with our support. (ETA: That was worded awkwardly. What I mean to say is, we're definitely here for you, lady!)

    As I've mentioned before, I appreciate your candor on this painful subject. 

    ((HUGS)).

    edited missing word and to clarify
  • A big, long (((hug))) for you.  I am so sorry.

    BFP#1 - M/C on 12/23/13
    ~*~*~December 2014 PGaL ~*~*~
    Rainbow baby born on 12/19/2014

  • ky29ky29 member
    I'm so sorry you're at that point.  Big ((hugs)) to you.

    image
    TTC since March 2012
    DX: MFI (4% motility)

    Cycle 13: Natural cycle w/ HSG test = BFP
    Identical twins! 
    Lost my angel boys at 10.5 weeks

    Cycle 14-16: Natural Cycles = BFN
    Cycle 17: Follistim + Trigger + IUI = BFN
    Cycle 18: Natural Cycle = BFN
    Cycle 19: Follistim + Trigger +IUI#2
    Polyp found: SIS 11/11 - hysteroscopy 11/14
    Cycle 20: Follistim + IUI#2 = BFFN
    Cycle 21: Follistim (adj. dosage) + IUI#3 TI  = BFN
    IUI cancelled due to weather
    Cycle 22: Follistim + IUI#3.1 = BFN

    Cycle 23: treatment break, IVF consult
    Cycle 24 - 26: natural cycle w/ acupuncture + Chinese herbs = BFN
    Cycle 27: Follistim + IUI#4 = BFFN
    Natural Cycles until IVF
    Cycle 30: IVF#1 - Starting with Menopur + Follistim + Ganirelix
    17 retrieved, 12 fertilized, 5dt w/ 2 blasts, 5 frosties

    Betas:  #1-156(9dp5dt), #2-1200(13dp5) #3-6112(17dp5)
    Ultrasound #1 10/6: 1 bean!
    TEAM BLUE!

    My Chart
    ~~ALL WELCOME~~

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Oh G I'm so, so sorry you find yourself at this point.
    I am glad that you were able to talk with YH, I can imagine that was very difficult.
    I just want to send lots of ((hugs)) and love your way. Know you are in my thoughts as you continue to process this and we are here for you.

    EDD 5/2/14, NMC 9/11/13
    EDD 10/15/14, CP 2/8/14

    IF Diagnosis: PCOS, MFI 

    Current Cycle: 5 mg Femara/1000mg Metformin + TI = BFP, EDD 4/23/15 Please be our RAINBOW

    image

    **ALL AL/IF Welcome**
    My Chart

  • Sending more ((hugs)).  I can personally relate to everything you wrote and I get that this is all just so damned hard.  Hang in there.  xo
    ----
    *I am no longer regularly posting on TB because of the fucked up debacle of Jan 2015 when administrators banned long-term members and mods with no notice and completely dismantled a community full of women who cared about each other.  If you see me posting it's only to give support to a poster who needs it or to post something important enough that I need to say.  I am no longer responding to  anything other than issues that affect people who I care about*
    37 years old, MH is 42
    TTC since 2010; Dx Unexplained Infertility; possible male factor 
    August 2012 through June 2013:  6 IUIs with clomid and trigger shot, all BFNs
    7/2013, Pregnant! Unmedicated--we were on a treatment break
    8/20/13 no heart beat; 8/23/13 d&c
    3/15/14 IVF #1:  Lupron/Follistim/Menopur; ER 3/10 resulting in four transfer grade blastocysts, transferred one pretty blast and froze the remaining three. BFN. 
    Natural FET in May cancelled because the universe hates me my hormones were not cooperating.
    6/24/14 FET #1: transferred two pretty embryos; BFN   
    8/28/14 FET #2: BFP, ended in Chemical pregnancy

    Done with medical intervention and getting used to the idea of CFNBC.  




    All welcome
  • I am so sorry you are at this point in your journey, but glad that you and your H were finally able to talk about what it means for both of you. Much love and (((hugs))) to you as you go through this.






     


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    Anniversary

    TTC Since 04/01/13 

    BFP #1 04/28/13 Its twins! EDD 01/08/2014 MMC confirmed 06/27/13 D&C 07/17/13

    BFP#2 05/19/14 EDD 01/30/2015 Please be our rainbow!

    My Ovulation Chart

    *~*~* All AL Welcome*~*~*


  • I'm so sorry.  I have no advice, but I can tell you that we would never be able to afford those treatments either. :(  I know this doesn't help you to feel better, but it's just to say that you're not alone.  Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers, sweetheart.  Any many, many hugs.

    Lilypie - (dLe1)

     

          ***BFP 1-22-13, baby boy dx with Trisomy 13 at 15 weeks.

           We let him go to Heaven on 4-27-13 at 17 weeks 1 day***

     Lilypie - (AW2u)
     

     Lilypie - (L84X)Lilypie - (D4Hj)

     

     

     

     

  • So many hugs.  It just plain sucks all around.  Hoping that you will be able to find a way ahead that works for both you and your husband and your budget.

    Me 35 / DH 36
    TTC since 09/2009
    Hashimoto's diagnosis 11/2011 / Endometriosis removal surgery 04/2013
    Other diagnosis: 1 mutation - PAI-1 gene
    BFP#1 9/27/2013  /  EDD 6/4/14  /  MC 10/17/2013
    BFP#2 3/4/14  /  EDD 11/13/14  /  CP
    BFP#3 6/7/14  / EDD 2/16/15  /  CP
    BFP #4 11/7/2014 / EDD 7/17/15  /  CP
    Current  Plan: Waiting to change RE... Appt on 1/16
    RXs: Metformin, Levothyroxin, Baby Aspirin, CoQ10, Vitamin D, Folic Acid, Pre-natal. Progesterone post O.

    imageimage
    ***Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

    All Welcome


  • I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope that you are able to find peace.

    I also wanted to let you know about the way things are done here with fertility treatments. I'm in a remote area in eastern Canada and there is literally not a fertility clinic in this province. But if we need art, then there are "satellite" offices here. Basically the only thing we leave the province for is egg retrieval and transfer or for the actual iui. I don't know if that's something you could look into or if that would help in your situation. But I hope it might be a possibility. I wish you and yh all the best with whatever decision you come to. (((Hugs)))
  • I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. I wish I had magical advice but I don't. (((((Hugs)))))
    TTC: Since July 2013
    BFP #1: EDD 05/27/2014 (D&C 10/17/2014)
  • I'm very sorry you're going through this :( I wish there was something I could do to help! Hoping you and YH are able to come to a decision that works for both of you. Many many (((hugs)))

    imageLilypie - (zxAe)

  • I hate this for you. You've been on my mind. (((hugs))) and love. I'm always here for you.
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    ~*~Everyone is welcome~*~
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  • ((((((Huge Hugs)))))))
    TTC since 4/28/07
    Diagnosed w/ endometriosis 12/2010 Laproscopic surgery & 6 months of Lupron
    BFP 12/17/2011,EDD 8/23/12,ectopic discovered 12/29/11 at 6 weeks recieved methotrexate
    Dec '12 HSG & ultrasound showed abnormalities & more endo. Laproscopic surgery in January '13 showed significant damage & scar tissue from Endo. IVF is our best shot to concieve our rainbow.

    June '13 Decided to go the adoption route!

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers


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    ***PGAL/PAL WELCOME***

     

     






        

  • Oh Gen, I'm so sorry that all of these thoughts and feelings are overwhelming you right now.  I had hoped and prayed that the Clomid would help and I still do.  I'm so sorry that there's no way to handle the cost of IVF, but what about injectables?  It might be worth it to schedule an appointment with a clinic and just see if there's anyway to have monitoring in your area with the results going to the clinic to formulate/change the plan.  I don't know if they do that there, or if you'd even want to go that route, but it might be an option. 

    I guess I'm grasping at straws and trying to come up with something to say to help you.  You have become very dear to me and I hate that you are looking at the end of your journey.  Many ((((HUGS)))) to you my friend and I hope that you find peace in whatever decision you make. 
    TTC #3 since 8/2012 image
    DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS
    6/2010
     BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
    BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014

    My chart here  All ALers welcome!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    June 3Missing Our January Snowflake
  • I am so, so sorry! Big ((hugs))
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • So sorry.  ((Hugs))

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    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickersLilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Me: 32 DH: 33  High School Sweethearts  Married 5/28/2005
    DS1 born 6/5/10 at 40 weeks via emergency c-section due to fetal distress and IUGR caused by placental insufficiency
    DS2 born still 8/28/13 at 32 weeks via emergency c-section due to a complete placental abruption - cause unknown
    Baby #3 on the way, EDD 2/29/16.  Originally twins, but we said goodbye to Baby B at 8 weeks.
  • ((Hugs)) I was really hoping that it wouldn't get to this point for you. I'm glad that you had the talk with YH, but I wish you weren't facing this.
    Multiple TTCAL 1image
    image
     TTC #1 since March 2011 
    BFP #1: EDD 4/16/13~~blighted ovum w/ 2 gestational sacs~~Loss on 9/18/12
    BFP #2: EDD 9/3/13~~Slow HB at 1st U/S~~MMC -Loss on 2/13/13
    9/13, 10/13, 1/14: letrozole + trigger + TI = All BFNs
    3/14: IUI#1 letrozole/Bravelle/Menopur + trigger = BFN
    BFP #3: EDD 1/27/15 Please be our rainbow! ...Team Green


  • Just wanna send ::hugs:: and :love:
    -Megan


    Started dating Hubby May 17 2005. Married since Aug 20 2011 
    Me:30   Hubby:31
    TTC since May 2012 
    HSG Dec 2012 Fill no spill on left side, right side normal (most physically painful experience of my life..)
    Metformin Started May 2013
    PG#1: BFP 10-21-13. EDD 6-17-14 mmc 12-9-13 m/c occurred with cytotec on 12-11-13 
    PG#2: BFP 07-25-14.  EDD 4-5-15   *Hoping this is my rainbow*
    Diagnosed with PCOS, Hypothyroid,IBD/UC, (UC in remission as of July 2014)
    *I will always love you Fetey the first.* 
    image

    ALL WELCOME!



  • ((HUGS))

    BFP 7/16/13, EDD 3/27/14 - blighted ovum  - D&C 8/26/13
    Dx PCOS and Septate Uterus
    Septum Resection - 2/6/14
    brand new cuterus
    March 2014:   first medicated cycle + iui
    = BFP!
    Baby Drgn born December 3, 2014

    image 


  • I'm so sorry that treatment is out of reach. I hope writing everything down at least helped get some of the emotion out. (((Hugs)))

    TTC since April 2012

    BFP #1, 10/03/2012 - EDD 6/15/2013 - MMC 11/15/2012 - D&C 01/04/2013

    BFP #2, 04/06/2013 - EDD 12/17/2013 - MC 04/19/2013

    6/12/2013 Diagnosed with Balanced Translocation (12 & 16)

    IVF #1 with PGS: 10/2013: Canceled 9/27/2013 for issues with genetic lab

    IVF #1.5 with PGS: 11/16/2013: Canceled. 11 eggs retrieved, 9 mature & 9 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #2: 1/22/14: Canceled. 16 eggs retrieved, 14 mature, 7 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos

    IVF #3 with PGS: 5/10/2014: Switched to FET in July. 10 eggs retrieved, 9 mature, 8 fertilized, 2 healthy embryos!

    FET #1: 7/31/2014: Transferred 2 nearly perfect (6AA, 6BA) healthy embryos- BFFN

    Laproscopy: 10/2014: Healthy uterus

    IVF #4: 12/8/2014: Canceled. 17 eggs retrieved, 15 mature, 10 fertilized, all unhealthy embryos



    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    image

    Everyone welcome on my posts






  • I am so sorry gco. ((((hugs))))

    "It's, not, where you are, it's where you're going,
    And it's, not, about the things you've done, it's what you're doing, now"

    TTC Journey Began 8/12
    BFP #1 11/9/12, MMC/D&C 12/21/12 @ 9w2d, EDD 7/24/13
    SAs: 2%-3% Morph - RE Official Diagnosis
    Unexplained
     BFN = IUI #1 (Clomid) | IUI #2 (Letrozole) 
    BFP #2 4/19/14 = IUI #3 (Letrozole)
    Expecting Our Elf 12/27/14
    ~All Welcome~

  • So many (((hugs)))
  • I really wish I could give you a big hug IRL.  I am thinking of you.

    * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

    TTC #1 since June 2012
    Current Status:  IVF with ICSI and PGS
    Genetic, RPL, SA and Fertility testing = Normal/Good
        HSG = All Clear
    BFP #1 12.30.2012  ||  Blighted Ovum 02.05.2013  ||  D&C 02.11.2013
    BFP #2 09.10.2013  ||  c/p 09.12.2013

    BFP #3 12.1.2013  ||  mm/c  01.15.14  ||  D&C 01.21.14  chromosome abnormality
    May 2014:  Residual HCG and retained tissue found
    05.13.2014:  Hysteroscopy D&C to find and remove retained tissue
    June 2014:  Tissue sample results indicate a partial molar pregnancy
    May - Aug 2014:   TTA for monitoring and testing
    08.21.2014:  Hysteroscopy to remove minor scar tissue - the result of 3 D&Cs
    Sept/Oct: IUI #1  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN
    Oct/Nov: IUI #2  Femara + Ovidrel = BFN
    Nov/Dec: IUI #3  Femara + Bravelle + Ovidrel = BFN

    My Ovulation Chart  || *~*~All AL Welcome~*~* ||  DIY Blog

    imagehttp://i59.tinypic.com/v5ztqr.jpg  image

    image image 

  • So many (((((hugs))))) 
    Married the love of my life June 18, 2011 -- Me (28) DH (29)
    TTC #1 since June 2012
    BFP #1 6.29.12 EDD 3.12.13 MMC discovered 8.11.12 9w5d D&C 8.15.12
    BFP #2 11.2.12 EDD 7.14.13 MMC 6w5d discovered 8w6d 2 failed rounds miso D&C 12.27.12
    BFP #3 8.5.13 EDD 4.18.14 MMC 7w4d discovered 9.25.13 at 10w6d -Trisomy 13- 1 round miso & emergency D&C 10.2.13
    RPL Testing. DX Asherman's November 2013. Low AMH (0.44) January 2014. 
    Operative Hysteroscopy January 2014 to remove scar tissue.
    BFP#4 6.18.14 EDD 3.3.15 Team Pink
    --AL always welcome--
        image  
  • So sorry this has been so hard for you.  ((((hugs))))


    BFP #1 11/02/13, EDD 07/04/14, BO diagnosed 12/12/13 at 9w5d
    BFP #2 6/12/14, DD born 2/21/15

  • I'm so, so sorry. I hate that finances are part of the decisions in all this. Makes me mad and it feels so unfair. I'm really sorry you're going through this.

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge: "He's my favorite.  His birthday is the same as mine almost"

    image image

    Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken... 

    d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing... 

    MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013.  I still miss you, little ones. 

    Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months... 
    Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me? 

    PgAL and PAL always welcome...
  • Huge ((hugs)) G, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I wish your OB had some other options for you.
    I'm 31 and DH is 36

    Started dating in 2008 and married November 10, 2012

    TTC#1 Since Oct 2012

    MC#1 5/30/2013 ~ EDD 1/4/2014 natural @ 9 weeks

    MC#2 8/12/2013 ~ EDD 4/13/2014 natural @ 5 weeks 5 days

    BFP #3 EDD 12/9/2014

    *~*~*Everybody is Welcome*~*~*

    My Ovulation Chart

    BabyFruit Ticker}
  • ...Siggy Warning...

    I am so, so sorry G. My heart just breaks for you and your husband. When I was preparing to travel to KRFC for treatment, the stress and logistics of the 8 hr drive was enough to trigger intense anxiety. Even if money were no issue, the travel alone is enough to cause a huge upset. I don't know if you ever contacted KRFC, but they have a free Skype consult with a referral. I believe you mentioned your daughter lived in the area, so you could at least have another positive reason for the travel? I don't know what a medicated cycle would cost, but perhaps you could at least do a Skype consult to see what they say? They sent DH and I for all sorts of tests, and were really easy to talk to via email.

    Dr K is the best we have in town, and you know I have a lot of faith in him, but he is incredibly busy, and hard to get in to see. Maybe it would be worth at least doing a Skype consult to get a second opinion?

    Again, I'm so sorry. You know I'm always here for you. ((Hugs)).

    Me: Endometriosis, PCOS, Insulin Resistance, Estrogen Dominance, Irregular Cycles
    DH:  100% Abnormal Sperm Morphology
     BFP #1 (Surprise!)  "Monkey"- 09/16/2006. DS born 06/01/2007.   
    BFP #2  "Quinn" EDD 06/21/13- MMC @ 8 weeks - Disc. 12/12/12 @ 13w0d 
    BFP #3  "Luna" EDD 03/31/14- MC 07/29/13 @ 5 w0d 
    BFP #4  "Star" EDD 07/06/14- MC 11/28/13 @ 8 weeks
    BFP #5 "Baby J"- 02/07/14. DS born 10/29/2014 My Rainbow!
    ~Everyone Welcome~

  • I'm so very sorry that you are going through this. (((Hugs)))
    DH diagnosed with testicular cancer 6/04/10
    Married DH 8/1/11
    7/21/13 SA poor morphology/ low count
    BFP #1 11/18/13, EDD 7/22/14 
    MC Blighted Ovum 12/4/13 @ 7wks
    BFP #2 8/21/14, EDD 5/1/15 
    image
    image

    All Welcome
    Pregnancy Ticker
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