Let's talk about sex (baby)

Guennie

First off, if you didn't get the Salt N Peppa reference shame on you.

Ok, so since this topic was recently brushed upon I thought I'd share...

It's been almost 4 months since my Caesarian. Up until a couple weeks ago DH showed no interest, which I was secretly grateful for since I didn't even remotely feel up to it. Then suddenly one morning he woke up in the mood so I went with it, hoping once we started I may get into it. Nope. It hurt, which I wasn't expecting since I didn't have a vaginal delivery. I was so happy that he reached out to me and showed interest because we went through a really rough time during my pregnancy, so I faked it. I just wanted it to be over but I didn't want him to know that. I felt awful about it, but I also felt like the return of this intimacy was important for both of us so I didn't want to discourage him.

This morning he woke up in the mood again and it only hurt for a few seconds this time...but I'm still not getting into it. I know a lot of women have mentioned that their drive didn't return until they stopped bfing and their hormones shifted...was anyone lucky enough to get it back while they were still pumping? I hoped maybe since I'm getting my period (I know, ugh...) that maybe my hormones would shift enough for me to enjoy it but so far I just feel like a dead fish.

shelley1002

I didn't BF or EP so I can't speak from that.  After DS1 I had no desire for sex.  It took me over a year to get any desire back.  And even then I had to talk myself into it.  A lot of the time I faked my way through for DH.  Then when we decided to TTC I still didn't even really feel the desire for sex but I wanted another one so I talked myself into it.

I have more desire now (DS2 is 5 months old) but we have less time.

As for the pain.  I had vaginal deliveries with 2nd degree tears with both boys.  Sex hurt like hell after DS1.  Even with lots of lube.  It did get better the more often we did it (when TTC).  Doesn't hurt since having DS2 thankfully.

Don't give up.  Sex drive will come back.  It just takes time (a lot of time for some).

Geeps2

1st.....I was singing the song in my head before I even opened the post LOL <:-P

2nd Having had 2 kids and bf both of them and having weaned one I can tell you it really didn't get better for me until I was just about done with breastfeeding/pumping.  It really was just hormonal so I, like you and Shelley, dropped my pants for the sake of my husband and hoping that doing it would make me want it more. 

With both deliveries I tore so I have the added fun of that having to get reaccustomed to action, which is downright painful in the beginning....think razor blades.  After a while I still wasn't ever the one to initiate because I was never really in the mood but I was able to get into it once things got going.  There were and are still times where I lie there and think ...can we just get this over with but I know it will get better.  We only had babies 4 months ago so we still have a lot of hormone shifting to go through.  Speaking of which have you had the pleasure of starting to loose all of your hair?  That kicked in for me about a month ago.  It is coming out in clumps.  I feel so very sexy........Not so much!!!! 

You are not alone in the wish you had your old sexy self back...but she will return I promise!

Guennie

OMG the hair- yes!!! My hair is all over the floor. When I pump I constantly look down and see pieces falling out and they get static and stick to the bottles or the flanges. It's a real PIA.

Geeps2

The best is in the shower while shampooing my hair.  It is the never ending handful of hair.  I have to toss the hair right in the garbage for fear it will clog the drain there is so much of it coming out.  With my daughter I actually had bald spots on the sides of my head like an aging man gets (the dreaded driveways). Growing back in I looked like I had crazy @##$ bangs.  It was not a good look.

mwhipple77

We're 4 months PP and I still have no sex drive.  It doesn't hurt on the rare occasion that it happens, but it isn't something I'm initiating at this time.  I am BFing, so I guess that could still be part of it.  But I think my biggest reason for no desire is that I'm tired all the time.  When I go to bed, it's to sleep.  

dglvrk2

Like @Geeps2‌ and @shelley1002‌ I've done it for DH may be 10 times since DD2 was born in January. I'm back to work FT, looking for another job and doing my part to raise two kids. I'm also training for a half marathon. May be its hormonal as I'm BFing and pumping, but I'm also flat out exhausted. I wish I had SOME sex drive. DH is doing an awesome job on the parenting front and helping me find another job. He's also loosing weight and looks REALLY good right now. I so wish I was feeling more sexy for his sake.