Interviewing Sitters for Older Children...

CVislo

Okay, so after reading the replies to my other post and getting some outside thoughts, I'll be having a VBAC.

Now my concern becomes interviewing for a sitter. I am very much in the mind frame of "if my child can't come, I'm not coming." I do not like getting a sitter, I don't even like daycare if I can avoid it. My experience with sitters as a child was horrible and I once watched my brother almost die because the sitter was too busy stuffing her face with crap and talking on the phone to pay attention to us. For this reason, I am very anti-sitter. The thought makes me crazy nervous and if I get a sitter, I'm anxious for days! If given the choice, I choose daycare over a sitter.

Now, obviously I cannot choose when my body goes into labor, so daycare may be completely out of the picture. What are some credentials do you require your sitters to have? And what sort of questions should I be asking my potential sitters to get an understanding of their qualifications? Is it unreasonable to ask the sitter to come to MY home during the time that I would need her/him? Is it understood that the sitter will need to be available at any time day or night as I near my due date, or is that something I should mention? Can I restrict foods the sitter is allowed to feed him? For example, absolutely NO marshmallows because that is what caused my brother to almost die and NO peanut products due to an allergy. Would it be unreasonable for me to ask the sitter not to let my son ride in the car? I'm very concerned with car seat safety and unfortunately, not everyone else is, so my child's safety in someone else's car is a huge concern for me. I just have no idea of the protocol for hiring a sitter and setting rules.

My husband will be home with my son for most of my time in the hospital in an effort to avoid spending extra money on the sitter and because of my anxiety about sitters. He will be with me only for the labor/delivery and visits, which my son will be accompany him to.

CVislo

He does go to school already. He attends pre-school three days a week for four hours a day. He absolutely loves it and is really excited for Kindergarten next year. We go next week to sign him up for Kindergarten and he will not let me forget that! lol.

As for having a friend or family member on backup for when the sitter isn't available, that is not an option. I live in Japan now, so family is completely out. I know one person here so far and not well enough to consider her a 'friend.' However, she is very nice and in time, I feel like we will be good friends.

I suppose I could find two sitters who have different availabilities that are sort of opposite of each other, so that I have someone lined up at all times.

That+One+Girl

I understand being nervous about having a sitter. If there is any sort of early childhood education program near you I would start there.
I cannot answer from the parent side as I am a ftm but here is my side (worked as babysitter/nanny for 10 years):
Most parents required I had CPR or some first aid cert
I always watch the kids at parents house (for kids I watched for years they would sometimes be at my place but that was rare)
I also had my 'Mary poppins' bag that had coloring books, play dough (if parents allowed), some cool toys, and a few books. Maybe you can set up a few special toys/books for your son to be able to play with the sitter as a special surprise for him.
I had a 'cheat sheet' for each kid (name, age, allergies, meds, discipline plan, bed/nap times, meal times, important phone #, address) if you print out something like this it can be a lifesavor for sitter

I would start now to interview sitters. You need to feel good about the person you choose. I would not expect 100% available but very flexible is a must. Make sure to give the sitter a heads up as soon as you start labor so she/he can plan and get themselves ready for you. The best thing you can do is to keep open communication between yourself/husband and the sitter.
Good luck

chillypenguin

I would also start trying to find a sitter now. You may be able to find one who is willing to be "on call" at any time, but you would have to be very upfront about that because most people could probably not do that. One thing you could do is check with his preschool. I know when DD was in daycare, a lot of the teachers would also be willing to babysit. So you know they are trustworthy, and your child already knows them.

As for the other conditions, as PPs mentioned, your child, your rules. You can absolutely say what you do/do not want him to eat or do. Good luck! I know this is stressful. Other than when she was in daycare for a year, DD has never stayed with anyone other than family because I have a hard time with this too.

spinsoffresonance

I totally understand sitter anxiety. DD is 16m old and we just left her with a sitter other than daycare for the first time last weekend. I think all your requests are reasonable. The only thing is it will be hard finding someone willing to be on call 24/7, that basically means they have to be unemployed and won't be making any other commitments before May, which I think is too soon now to find someone willing to do that. So I would try to have 2-3 sitters lined up you can call when you have to go to the hospital.. Also, could you bring DS to the hospital for most of the time and have a sitter meet you there when it's time to push?
Personally, I don't feel very comfortable hiring a complete stranger to watch my kid so I would try to find someone who knows someone who knows someone... First I would ask your preschool director if they could take him on the days he doesn't go just for the week you go in labor. If they have openings they might accommodate you and you'll be covered for daytime ( also good if you end up with a csection). Then ask the preschool teachers if they know any sitters, they might volunteer. Ask the other parents at preschool if they have a sitter to recommend. Also if you live in a big building try posting an ad in the elevators,maybe there are some stay at home parents in the building who would be willing to be on call for you to make some extra cash.