Babies on the Brain

Life after baby with Hubby? Or Wifey?

pempempempem member
Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments 25 Love Its
edited March 2014 in Babies on the Brain
So my hub and I have been talking about wanting kids ever since we got married ha!  We got married very young (8 years ago), finished up college and grad/law school together, and now we've both been working for a few years.  I'm 28, he's 29.

Once we started working, we had a "5 year plan" but now we're cutting that short by one year and TTC this summer.  It was sudden, and I wondered if it was a rushed decision, but it's been a good 3 months, and we strongly believe it's the right time.  The thing is, we have like too much fun together, truly he is my best friend. We share similar interests in almost everything.  We travel so much all the time. 

I'm super excited, but also very terrified of having children. I'll miss our current freedom and fun. But I get so emo when I think of having a child with him, it makes me so happy.

I wanted to ask, what was your relationship like after having a baby?  Do you still do things together?
jessig13826Cassie Harris
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Re: Life after baby with Hubby? Or Wifey?

  • oh my no! 8 years ago ;)
    babe5218[Deleted User]
  • Edited! just in case lol
    TrekkieMom84[Deleted User]
  • I can't take anyone serious who uses wifey.
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    SweetTartewillowprincess
  • pempempempem member
    Sixth Anniversary 10 Comments 25 Love Its
    edited March 2014
    Yeah I can see that. But do you miss just being you and husband?
  • We have a different kind of fun now but we look at eachother in amazement when we see our LO and how wonderful he is, we couldn't imagine things any different.  It's a "new" normal :)
    [Deleted User]
  • Its a little different for us because my H travels for work a good bit. When he is home we try to do stuff as a family so we haven't been on a date in almost 3yrs. BUT, our relationship is stronger than ever, we have us time when the boys go to bed, and we still have a good sex life. It is definitely different than before kids but I love it. 
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    [Deleted User]
  • It changes things.  There are days where I wish we could just snuggle up and not worry about interruptions for a few hours.  But, at least for us, we love having kids even more than we loved being able to travel at the drop of a hat.  AND we are traveling internationally with our toddler this year (DH has itchy feet, as it were.  I know it's not the sanest.)
    DS born 12/2012
    Little Squeaker due 6/2015
    trekflwrs
  • Things have absolutely changed since we had DD. Our relationship is really struggling right now. We have our good days and our bad. Our issue right now is that we don't get enough time together.

    Our schedules are completely off. I work 9-5, wake up with the baby and go to bed shortly after her. He works 2-10 and sleeps in as long as possible and stays up til 4 in the morning

    It's rough, but we're working on it. Time as a couple is so important and we are really struggling to find the time right now as we don't even have the same days off. Works great for watching DD..not so great for our relationship.
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  • laurakaz13laurakaz13 member
    5000 Comments 250 Answers Sixth Anniversary 250 Love Its
    edited March 2014

    We have a blast together still.  We have weekly date nights, solo vacations each year and family vacations.  We enjoy our time together after DD goes to bed as well, have a drink together and just hang out, sit on the back porch, etc. 

    You have to make an effort.  It's hard with a newborn, but don't become one of those couples who never has alone time away from their kids.  Just don't.  Your marriage will be better if you continue to make time for each other. 

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    theholmanherdluvleyladietrekflwrsMrsGJC
  • Hi,

    The bad news is that you will not have as much freedom and money as you did before.
    The good news is that your life will be absolutely filled with so much fun and good times with your child in ways you cannot imagine now.  Also, you will find time for just you and your husband...for us we do every night have alone time after we put our LO down.... and we usually get a few hours.

    Don't be afraid to start a new chapter in life.  Your DH will be there w/ you when your kids are grown and all of that too :)  It's a good thing and you will not regret it :)

    theholmanherd[Deleted User]
  • We have a blast together still.  We have weekly date nights, solo vacations each year and family vacations.  We enjoy our time together after DD goes to bed as well, have a drink together and just hang out, sit on the back porch, etc. 

    You have to make an effort.  It's hard with a newborn, but don't become one of those couples who never has alone time away from their kids.  Just don't.  Your marriage will be better if you continue to make time for each other. 

    This exactly. No firsthand experience here, but I know this to be true since I have seen this modeled in some of the best relationships I've ever seen.
    Love 8/15/10 | Marriage 11/21/11 | TTC #1 11/2012
    Unexplained Infertility
    Our herd includes DH (29), me (26), and 2 fur babies (Corgi and Bernese Mtn Dog)
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    luvleyladie
  • I'm the queen of over reactions and I am fanfuckingtastic parent.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Well, you seem like a well-adjusted adult. You have planned everything along with your soulmate, my opinion is you and your relationship will succed. Your relationship not only will change after the baby is born but during pregnancy. You will suffer numerous changes emotionally and phisically, your hubby needs to give you a lot of support.

    Having a kids doesn't mean that your love life is going to stop there, but you'll need to plan ahead to have a couple vacations or weekend getaways once in a while and date nights... date night should happen at leat 1 per week if you have family relatives who can help you, if not, try doing it twice or once per month.

    I am new to this website but I'd like to apologize for all the others who were feeling very bitchy around here and left those hostil posts, probably that's the hormones, something you'll have deal with when you decide to become pregnant.

    I also wanna say you are young still, get pregnant when you are 100% sure you won't regret it. You have time still, i'd say until you turn 32 you could start having kids. I'm 34 and have a an 8 years old and I'm 8 months pregnant.

    Good Luck! I know you'll be fine.

    Jessica.

     

    "Don't worry about the haters... They are just angry because the truth you speak contradicts the lie they live."

    -Dr. Steve Maraboli

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  • I worried about that also. When my son was born, it was the exact opposite. If anything, I would say it bonded us even closer. I am not saying a baby would bond two people closer in a dysfunctional relationship. I am saying that if you have an amazing partner that is also your best friend, having a baby is wonderful! I mean, I look at my husband when our son does something cute and I see he is just a amused as I am. No one would get that excited other than the two of us.
  • You're rude lmao.
  • Tiffo123 said:

    You're rude lmao.

    WTF are you talking about?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
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