Catholic people, come on in....

talkthewholetime

What are my chances of my parish letting our daughter have 2 godmothers? (one of each our sisters)

I haven't called to ask yet, mostly because I'm lazy. I'm thinking the more liberal church I grew up in might be more OK with it, so if my current church nixes it, I may call over there.

lovey1

Our church is fairly liberal and they allowed us to have more than one set of Godparents. We're Filipino and I think they understand that we tend to have multiple sets of godparents anyway. Good luck!

momthatlifts

I'm actually so glad you posted this because me and my husband are having a hard time with the god parents thing. I hope you don't mind me asking you this, but do the god parents have to be married or can we choose anyone? My husband was raised very heavily catholic and is very strong about getting DD baptized but neither one of us know the actual rule as to if the god parents have to be "together"

lovey1

You should be able to choose anyone--they don't have to be a married couple. Here's what I found:

To be a sponsor, a person must be chosen by the person to be baptized, or by the parents or guardians of a child, or, in their absence, by the pastor or minister of the sacrament. The sponsor must not only have the intention of being a sponsor but also meet proper qualifications. The sponsor must have completed his sixteenth year unless the Bishop has established another age for sponsorship, or the pastor or minister judges that a just cause warrants an exception to the rule. He must be a Catholic who has received the sacraments of holy Eucharist and confirmation, and "leads a life in harmony with the faith and the role to be undertaken." Moreover, the sponsor cannot be impeded by some canonical penalty. Ideally, this sponsor at baptism should also be the sponsor for confirmation. Note that the mother and father of the child cannot serve as sponsors. Also note that these are the same requirements for confirmation sponsors. (Cf. Code of Canon Law, No. 874.1).

talkthewholetime

We could do my sister and dh's brother, but he'd rather have his sister, and I don't have a godfather candidate on my side. We want to have one godparent from each family, so if we did 2 godmothers it would solve all our problems!

oscarwao

I think it will just depend on your parish. My parish growing up was very by the books, but DHs parish is super liberal with that stuff - he was the sponsor for his nieces baptism and confirmation and he himself is not a confirmed catholic.

Mimaloo

They have some crazy rules. My BFF asked me to be her daughter's godmother - I'm baptized and confirmed but Episcopalian not RC. The church won't recognize me officially as her godmother. 

I'd call but maybe plan on going with the more liberal of the two. 

talkthewholetime

I e-mailed the deacon on the website - they said you need 2 Christians but only one needs to be a confirmed Catholic. Nothing about being male/female. Let's see if he writes back, otherwise I'll call. (I don't know if they really check their deacon e-mail, haha)

deeandsteve

We were thinking about this too, lots of girls in our family, so we were like what about 2 godmothers? We'll be baptizing in August, so we were thinking to call in June? Just to make sure we have the date.

Glitterlicious

It totally depends on the priest. I am a godmother to one of my nieces along with another aunt-so she has 2 godmothers and no godfather. The priest is a family friend though, so I don't know if every parish will allow it, but it's definitely not against the rules! Good luck!

kdbug0913

Our church says only one needs to be a catholic in good standing, other doesn't even need to have any rigorous affiliation. They do not need to be married or even know each other. I've never asked about gender though, now I'm curious!

talkthewholetime

I'll let you know what I find out!

spacepotatoes

I'm curious too! I know that only one has to be Catholic and I think my church does specify one male and one female, but I do wonder how strictly they enforce it. The priest who married us probably wouldn't care but he moved away a few months later and I have no idea what the other priests would do.

mrspopsicle

I have several cousins with two godmothers and I grew up in a fairly by the book church. Hopefully it works out for you!

bam326

Thank you so much for posting this passage. I just sent to my dad who is coordinating with the priest. I would like two of my friends (girls) to stand as the godparents. I am Catholic and my husband is Jewish so we don't have a lot of Catholic guys to choose from and both of us are only children. My dad is insisting on a baptism so he will be reaching out to the priest. His initial gut feelings was that it wasn't going to fly. I think the canon law you cited will go a long way with my request.

andoll8

In many parishes where I've attended Mass, the god parents are not required to be married or even "together" since being a god parent in the Catholic church is more about overseeing the spiritual growth of the child and not so much about legal guardianship.

To that point, we are asking my brother (Catholic) and his wife (Jewish) to be the legal guardians according to our will, and we are asking DH's cousin (Catholic )and his wife (Catholic convert) to be god parents. 

Really what I've learned is that: each parish and each priest are different, so if you're not getting the response you're looking for try another parish - maybe even another sect. I typically seek out Franciscan parishes as opposed to Diocessean (sp?) parishes because the Franciscians (and the Jesuits for that matter) tend to be a bit more liberal and accommodating. For example, our Franciscian marriage officiant helped us get special permission from the Bishop to be married in a non-denomenational chapel. 14 months later, he co-officiated my brother's wedding (again, with permission from the Bishop for a non-denomenational chapel) with a Jewish Rabbi of my SIL's choosing. I can't say enough how influential the Franciscan's have been on my spiritual life!

There's a lot of love and support out there, so don't give up!

Peace.

rainydayluck

I'm not catholic, but I entered the thread anyway. Carry on.

Jillzy86

My parish growing up and where I belong now only allows two official god parents and one must be confermed catholic. They do not have to be married and I don't know if you need one man and one women or if it could be two of the same sex. I think a quick phone call to your church would help you clear your questions up.

Gigglefest

Our parish specifically says they must be opposite sex, at least 1 practicing RC

TecheB

In my parish and my best friends parish in the past 4 years we have both asked this question. In Louisiana and Florida. Both said one of each gender.

jfletcher3113

I would hope that a church would be supportive of that but I think, like you said, it depends on how liberal they are. I really think the choice should be up to the parents.

There are Catholic churches where I live who require both godparents to be baptized Catholic and require two (but they don't have to be married). Other churches are really loose on the rules. I have a friend who is an athiest who is the god father to a Catholic baby. So... it just depends.

cchild101010

Without reading through all of the responses, here has been my experience...

The Catholic Church will allow you some amount of latitude with a heavy enough donation. We have two Catholic Churches in our area. One said that both god parents had to have confirmation. One said we could have two females. For both, the people need to attend church on a regular basis. When DH and I took the class, our educator signed off not only that we took the class but that our sponsors all took the class (which they hadn't). At one church the class is free (which is where we took it) and the other church you have to pay for the class. The church that we ended up booking the baptism at was booked for the day we wanted (trying to coordinate my sister flying into town who will be a god mother). Not surprisingly though, for a large enough "donation" they could make the church available for us on that date.

I would call the church(es) in your area and find out what their requirements are - every church seems to be different.

Ironically, you don't need to be married in the Catholic Church to have your child baptized (DH and I were not married in a church) but one church said that if you have a husband/wife couple be the god parents they must have been married in the church - so DH and I could not be god parents to someone else's child

PS - I thought booking a church for a baptism in June back in February would be plenty of time but apparently it wasn't hence the extra "donation".

kristine526

I emailed my church after reading this. In our parish, the only requirement is that one godparent be a practicing Catholic, and the other must at least be Christian. They don't have to be married, they don't have to be together.

I asked about the same sex question, and was told that there *technically* only has to be one sponsor, and should we choose another sponsor that's the same sex, that he/she wouldn't be recognized as a godparent by the church.

When are you guys thinking about having baby baptized? I started checking with family on when they're "available" and I have a whopping 5 Sundays between my due date and October that people are all available at the same time. *eye roll*

talkthewholetime

I honestly don't know. I'm new to the parish by our house so I'm not sure when they do it. (the church I grew up in did it once a month, I'm not sure what their schedule is)

Ideally I'd think July/August?

bumpuser9353653

Seems to depend on the parish. Ours required at least one Catholic who had been confirmed. Only one male and one female were allowed to be on the paperwork. One could be a "Christian Sponsor".

I had a hard time finding someone to be the actual Catholic God parent b/c most of my friends are not Catholic. Now I'm trying to figure out what to do for #2. Do most siblings have the same set of Godparents?

ETA: we could not have 2 of the sex listed on the form. (even if one was just the Christian Sponsor)

talkthewholetime

I just called and spoke to the receptionist. She sounded eh on the subject (and they require two confirmed Catholics, which is beyond the normal rule) I left a message for Deacon Tony who sounded very holy and friendly on his voicemail. We'll see what he says, haha.