Second time + moms - preterm fear

Ersulli

I'm not having any significant symptoms, but I have always struggled with anxiety and lately I can't stop worrying about preterm labor. This is my first and I don't know what to expect. I want someone to reassure me that if I start experiencing preterm labor I will be able to differentiate between that and the random rlp and stretching pain or cramping feelings I gett that come and go...

kat8805

Honestly, there's no telling what your actual labor will feel like, or if/what preterm symptoms you may experience. We could all even experience a couple without really knowing too. You'll face things as they come, and that's the best anyone can do. Your doctor is always a fantastic resource should you need peace of mind, and they will keep an eye on you as edd grows closer. There's a reason we go monthly until 28 weeks, and then every 2 week's until 36 weeks I think, and then every week. Because after 28 weeks, things can change rapidly, and they like to monitor more closely. But worrying does no good. It doesn't make the chance of something happening lessen, it doesn't improve your health, and it most certainly doesn't change whatever outcome may be on the horizon. Stop wasting valuable energy on bad headspace, you're going to need that energy soon.

Country0202

Hopefully this helps and doesn't make you more nervous but I had preterm labor with my first and did not feel a thing. I didn't think I had had a single contraction and my midwife at my 26 week appt said, "for some reason I think we should check and see if you are dilated at all." Normally that's not something they do until the very end of pregnancy, but lo and behold, I was at a 1 1/2. They hooked me up to monitors and I was contracting every three minutes and had no idea, couldn't even feel tightening. Did the whole bedrest and medicine thing, and all was fine and dandy, didn't actually deliver until 40 weeks. They took me off the medicine and bedrest at 36 weeks, and everytime I would be put on the monitor, I was having contractions every three minutes again, but when I finally went into real labor at 40 weeks, holy cow, I knew it. There was no doubt!

ThereBeDragons

I lost my first to a combination of preterm labour and incompetent cervix.

I felt off for more than a day before my water broke. And once my water broke and contractions started there was really no mistaking them. A lot of second+ time moms will say that labour is unmistakable. I'll agree that once the contractions actually start- yeah you're not going to be wondering if its RLP. Before the real thing starts- you might just feel off. Crampy. If you feel wave like cramping- no matter how painful (or not painful) that's something.

Which is why you have an after hours line to your doc and always ALWAYS have the option of walking straight into L&D at your local hospital and saying "something feels wrong". We are all far enough along to escape the situation I was in at 17 weeks last time (I walked into my docs office, told them something felt wrong and they dismissed it as random stretching pains even after I'd described classic preterm labour). No respectable L&D is going to let you walk in and walk back out without monitoring for contractions after 24 weeks if you go in and tell them something feels wrong. Three weeks ago- I went in for an off feeling. They finally diagnosed it as dehydration- but not before I'd gotten contraction monitoring and an ultrasound to check on baby. No one made me feel stupid or foolish. In fact, when I tried to apologies for wasting their time, I was repeatedly told that it is always better to go in and be wrong than it is to stay home and have something go wrong.

You are the advocate for your unborn child. If everything feels okay- then everything feels okay. If something feels wrong or off- then you have doctors and nurses who are always on call just to answer your questions. That's what they do- and the vast majority of them chose their profession because they want to help you deliver a full term healthy baby.

But....

But there's no point in worrying about it unless you have symptoms. You're not going to simply drop the baby out of your lady bits accidentally while you walk. For one thing- he/she is too big now! But if you do feel wave like cramping, or have a major change in discharge, or feel a random gush of fluids- that's the time to worry. And it's fine to worry then. Until then, however- there's nothing that worrying will gain you. Just try to relax and enjoy your baby

rainydayluck

I never felt labor, but I've heard that some know and some don't know. I have a friend who delivered at 31 weeks. She thought she was just having bad stomach pains, went to the closest hospital and while her husband parked the car, she delivered her breech son vaginally - that's how far along in labor she had gone.
Like I said, I never felt labor, so I worry that I wouldn't know either.

MamaLlama14

I have never experienced pre-term labor, but I can reiterate what PP said about facing your symptoms as they come and being aware of your body.  If you feel/notice anything that makes you uneasy, call your doctor.  That's what they are there for.  This is especially true as your pregnancy progresses, because the reality of delivery becomes more apparent.  Your doctor knows this and will call you back right away/call you in to the office/send you to LD if the situations warrants it. 

JennyCraig

I suffer from anxiety as well so I get your fears 110%. I could have written this post myself! I just keep telling myself that the baby is viable now and if it comes early, then it happens and I'll have to deal with that. In the meantime, I sit down often if I'm out at the mall or walking somewhere and feel pain. I take it day by day, and tell myself that my fears are mainly just my anxiety talking. It's good to talk about your fears though so feel free to msg me at any time. Anxiety sucks!! Hang in there

rainydayluck

Carpenter627 said:

rainydayluck said:

I never felt labor, but I've heard that some know and some don't know. I have a friend who delivered at 31 weeks. She thought she was just having bad stomach pains, went to the closest hospital and while her husband parked the car, she delivered her breech son vaginally - that's how far along in labor she had gone.
Like I said, I never felt labor, so I worry that I wouldn't know either.

Woah.


Yeah. It was a teaching hospital so she said once the doctor realized the baby was coming out and breech the room was packed with students and doctors.

whitneymarie003

JennyCraig said:

I suffer from anxiety as well so I get your fears 110%. I could have written this post myself! I just keep telling myself that the baby is viable now and if it comes early, then it happens and I'll have to deal with that. In the meantime, I sit down often if I'm out at the mall or walking somewhere and feel pain. I take it day by day, and tell myself that my fears are mainly just my anxiety talking. It's good to talk about your fears though so feel free to msg me at any time. Anxiety sucks!! Hang in there

Took the words out of my mouth!

ajsweeton

I had PTL in my first pregnancy.  I had absolutely no idea I was in any kind of labor until my water broke and even then I thought I'd just peed on myself.  I didn't have a single noticeable contraction until I was already dilated to 5 and the doctor did a cervical check.  I did have symptoms and I did tell my dr about them.  It was written off as nothing, and I can't tell you how many times I wish I could go back and force that dr into checking me.  I had a change in discharge and some mild period like cramps which are a sign of PTL.  I don't want to be a horror story or cause you more anxiety, because at this point you are much further along than 22 weeks which is where I was when I lost Elliott and Ryland.  I was also pregnant with twins which is a higher risk of PTL.  Just be your own advocate like @therebedragons said.  You know your body better than anyone else and you'll know if something is wrong.  I did, my only mistake was in believing that my dr knew better than I did.  Don't let yourself become bogged down in what ifs and anxiety about what could happen.  Just pay attention to your body and if something seems wrong or if something changes make sure you're checked.