LGBT Parenting

PSA: Difference between sex and gender.

Hey all! Its been a while since we've had a discussion like this on the board and I wanted to take a minute to discuss something that makes my stomach upset every time I see it mentioned. There is a difference between the sex of a person and the gender of a person. The sex of a person is something they are born with. So those born to the male sex would have a penis and the female sex would have a vagina. Gender is the characteristics that a society, a person, or a culture sees as masculine or feminine.

I know we have people of all kinds in this group. There may be people in this group that identify as queer, transexual, intersexed or anywhere on the spectrum. It makes my stomach hurt a little to hear people say they are going to find out the gender of their child when that isn't possible until that child can grow up and discover their own gender.

This has been a public service announcement.
esbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies. - See more at: http://www.worldpridetoronto.com/festival/worldpride-2014#sthash.e5EqrMMf.dpuf
esbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies. - See more at: http://www.worldpridetoronto.com/festival/worldpride-2014#sthash.e5EqrMMf.dpuf
esbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies. - See more at: http://www.worldpridetoronto.com/festival/worldpride-2014#sthash.e5EqrMMf.dpuf
esbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies. - See more at: http://www.worldpridetoronto.com/festival/worldpride-2014#sthash.e5EqrMMf.dpuf
esbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer, questioning, two-spirited, and allies. - See more at: http://www.worldpridetoronto.com/festival/worldpride-2014#sthash.e5EqrMMf.dpuf
Married to the love of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way!
I have had 5 IUIs all with BFNs.
Used Clomid for IUIs 3-5.
HSG testing concluded uterus and ovaries look fine.
Partner switched to attempt to carry.
3 IUI with BFN (2 with trigger shot/monitoring, one with clomid)
IUI #4 (9 in total) resulted in BFP, but mc at 6 weeks. Pregnancy was not viable. Waiting to try again in March.

ball.and.chainhealz413wishiwaspreggoStacyLH24ATXmommasJGYKH826herbabymamaGoaliesWife123

Re: PSA: Difference between sex and gender.

  • I agree. And I would add that, of course, talking about the sex of the child isn't perfect either because people can change their sexes and/or determine that they were assigned the wrong sex at birth. Now, I don't expect everyone to embrace my queer-theory language of "assigned sex at birth" or "predicted assigned sex at birth". Probably using "sex" instead of "gender" is enough. But I did want to just add that since we are having this convo.
    ****signature and ticker warning*****

    We're queer. I'm 33 and don't have any fallopian tubes left. My love ("Manada" on the boards, 32) was diagnosed with diminished ovarian reserve. We did Partner IVF (my eggs, her uterus).

    Our TTC and Infertility history:
    with @Manada: IUI# 1-7 (December 2012- September 2013) all BFN. Tried natural, femara, clomid, puregon/follistim, clomid and menopur combo, both the ovidrel and HCG triggers.

    with me: blocked tube dx'd via HSG in December 2012; polyps dx'd via sonohysterogram in 12/2012 and removed via hysteroscopy in 1/2013; hydrosalpinx & ovarian cyst dx'd in 5/2013 via transvaginal ultrasound. Laparoscopy performed 6/2013 to deal with hydrosalpinx--dx of Stage IV Endo & bilateral salpinectomy during surgery. Repeat hysteroscopy 10/2013 with two polyps removed.

    Our IVFs:
    IVF November/December 2013: Cancelled IVF due to poor response

    IVF January/February 2014
    BCPs and lupron overlap
    Stimmed: 1/22-2/2: Bravelle and Menopur (dosage ranged from B300 and M150 to B375 and M150 to B300 and M225)
    2/4 retrieved 10 eggs. Endo was much worse than expected. Only 3 eggs fertilized; February 7 transferred two day 3 embryos, froze one. All great condition.
    HPT BFP on 2/13 evening (6dp3dt); Beta 1 (2/18 at 11dp3dt): 110; Beta 2 (2/20 at 13dp3dt): 175; Beta 3 (2/22 at 15dp3dt):  348; Beta 4 (2/26 at 19dp3dt): 2222; Beta 5 (2/28 at 21dp3dt): 4255
    1st ultrasound (3/6  6w 1d): TWINS!!!! Twin A measuring 6w1d with a heartbeat of 118bpm. Twin B measuring 6w0d with a heartbeat of 113bpm. 9 week ultrasound (3/26): We saw both move! Twin A measuring 8w6d with a heartbeat of 182 and Twin B measuring 8w5d with a heartbeat of 180.

    image  image


    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    JGYdoodah1013
  • Whoops. (Raises hand). I do that. Maybe that's what spawned your PSA! :\">

    I will say sex from now on! I think it's hard for me to associate the word sex with my sparkling little newborn so I opt for gender because it sounds a little less...intense? adult? I dunno. Anyhoo, I stand corrected!! Thanks for the education :).

    I cannot wait to find out the SEX of our baby! See, I am practicing!
    Finally pregnant and due with lil'mamaz Aug 20th!
    It's been a long road to here...
    Me (42) and J (44) - same sex couple. And we don't feel 40+!
    June'12 - First RE Visit
    Sept. '12 - Tubes removed
    Dec. '12 - Donor Egg/Donor Sperm IVF Cycle - 4 good embies!
    Dec. '12 - Fresh transfer, BFP! EDD 8/29/13
    Mar. '13 - Missed m/c at 16w1d, baby boy stopped growing at 15w4d
    Loss due to umbilical cord clot...baby was perfect. :(
    Jul '13 - FET#1 - c/p
    Sept. '13 - FET#2 - BFN
    Dec.' 2, 2013 - FET#3 with our last chance embie - BFP!!!
    Dec' 26, 2013 - hb!!
    EDD 8/20/14 with a baby girl! Tests show Trisomy X, doing our homework and trusting all will be ok!
    We live in Seattle and used SRM for our donor egg IVF cycle.


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    JGYGoaliesWife123
  • That's what a lot of people think and sometimes hearing "gender, gender, gender" can make those with different identities feel frustrated and secluded. Thanks for being understanding!
    Married to the love of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way!
    I have had 5 IUIs all with BFNs.
    Used Clomid for IUIs 3-5.
    HSG testing concluded uterus and ovaries look fine.
    Partner switched to attempt to carry.
    3 IUI with BFN (2 with trigger shot/monitoring, one with clomid)
    IUI #4 (9 in total) resulted in BFP, but mc at 6 weeks. Pregnancy was not viable. Waiting to try again in March.

    2MamazInSeattle
  • KH826KH826
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper First Anniversary
    member

    So I have definitely made an effort to say sex, I think the only time I said gender was when noting that we would not be doing a "gender reveal" and I put it quotes! HAHA - As @ball.and.chain aptly noted about this saying "sex reveal" just does not sound right! At any rate, I note the difference, and I hope that I am not an offender of this. I try not to be.

    Me - 30, My wife - 301 , Together for 9.5 yrs - Married August 2012

    5 medicated IUIs w/ RE (March - July 2013) = BFN

    Fresh IVF Cycle in September 2013 resulted in 18 mature eggs, 16 fertilized, 12 made it to day 5. Transfer of 2 Grade A blastocysts on 9/15/13, and 10 embryos in the freezer!      BFP on 9/25/13 - betas: @10dp5dt = 232; @12dp5dt = 465; @15dp5dt = 1,581    Anatomy scan on 1/15/14 -- We are having a baby girl!!! :)                                             Baby girl is due 6/3/14!

    BabyFetus Ticker

     

    doodah1013
  • Thanks for the reminder! I knew this already, but I don't think I'm great about using the right word in practice.  It's hard to break the habit after so many years of using gender and sex interchangeably.

    Me: 28 DW: 28

    Together since 5/30/02. Married since 8/31/08

    IUI#1 - 12/13/13 = BFN

    IUI#2 - 1/22/14 = BFN

    IUI#3 - 2/21/14 = BFN

    IUI#4 - 3/23/14

    2MamazInSeattle
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