Are you asking people if they are attending your baby shower, if they aren't RSVPing to the host?

Brigie029

Hello All!

Question- My SIL and Mom are throwing me a baby shower and the big day is this coming Sunday and I'm really grateful and excited.  They are great at organizing, so are just telling me to show up and that's what I plan on doing.  However, I do have a concern/curiosity that I feel I should leave alone, but what are your thoughts...

My SIL mailed out formal invitations 6 weeks prior and I have a pretty good idea who is coming because it's close family (in town), friends, close acquaintances and a few people that I work with that I've grown close with (I'm lucky enough to have a separate work shower, so I'm not inviting everyone I know). So, my thought is that I'm so grateful for whomever shows up, for their time and if they opt to get us something, very sweet.  Here's my question...I learned that a handful of people have yet to RSVP. I know that my SIL has been taking care of this and has emailed and is not concerned but I do know that they are making arrangements, favors and food based on the amount of people.

Having said all of that, I'm close enough to them to have invited them to the shower in the first place (as there were others I could of invited but didn't want it to seem like I just wanted a gift), should I just ask if they are coming, in a tactful and polite way?  Or, just let it go since I don't want to seem rude or tacky...

Not stressing or worrying, just curious what you would all do?

Thanks!

pineconey

Leave it up to the hosts. There will likely be attendees that show up and didn't RSVP as well as those who did RSVP and who aren't able to make it.
Everything will work out.

(My shower is Sunday too!)

britt33

Mine is Sunday too! My best friend and my sis are throwing it and have run into the same issue. My sister decided to follow up with ppl because let's face it... People tend to open mail and set it aside. She found a couple people who did just that, and were grateful she followed up. I'd let your sister do it.

rbrouillard

I have one Saturday! I also had a coed shower in January and our friend and his gf through it. She didn't really know the people well and sent a formal invite and it was over the holidays. A couple got lost and never found. she asked me if I can contact a couple people. Which I felt weird at first but mostly with the mail bring crazy i though I should check. I said it like just making sure your invite didn't get lost because others did. Also, with the up coming it's my Mom and friend but they know the family well so, if they want to they can otherwise hopefully since they r mostly close they will say something! But I learned from my wedding and other planning some people have not learned the etiquette of the RSVP! Ugh or they tad others they weren't coming after I mailed cards out stamped and all! Lol, even the above friend who did the co ed, she was all crazy about the RSVPs and has always forgotten to RSVP to our parties!

irisheyez7

My mom and sister are throwing mine and I think I will have to follow up with some of my friends that my family doesn't know if they haven't RSVP'd a little closer to the date. It is being held at a restaurant that requires a head count and I don't want them paying money for people who don't show up.
And I had the same thing with my wedding! It was such a PITA! Seriously, I stamped the return, just write a number on it and drop in it the mail!

Kayrock18

I'm having my shower as well this Sunday. The weather is bad so far and this was a question for me but I'm leaving it up to the host. If people show up I'm grateful if not I'm still ok with it.

We should all update with pictures. I would love to see pic of everyone's shower.. That sounds weird now that I typed it out hehehe.

PaddysGirl8

My shower is Sunday as well (praying for no more snow!) I was asked to follow up with a handful of folks that my shower host was not familiar with.

MamaFantastic

I will plan on taking a long, hot shower on Sunday in honor of all your showers

(OP, mine was a complete surprise to me, so I had no part in RSVPs.)

J&NL

I would just leave it to the hosts. That's their job.

pbandjmom

I helped my mom by following up with a few of my girlfriends that she doesn't know as well. I tried to just mention it in casual convo with them.

Not RSVPing is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves - especially when formal invitations are mailed!

Katiecave

Wow! Lots of us have showers on Sunday! mine is Sunday as well. I would just leave it up to the host- if they are concerned about having an accurate head count, they can contact anyone that hasn't RSVP'd or ask you to. I wouldn't do it yourself. Have a fun shower!!

cjpell0

Mine's on Saturday, I've followed up with a few friends for the hosts. 

deidremaria

MamaFantastic said:

I will plan on taking a long, hot shower on Sunday in honor of all your showers

(OP, mine was a complete surprise to me, so I had no part in RSVPs.)

Im so jealous that yours was a surprise. Mine is next month. It was supposed to be a surprise but my sisters figured the only way to get me to stop buying stuff was to tell me there's gonna be a shower

RebeccaY1

I had my shower a little while ago and I was actually very angry that some of my friends didn't RSVP.  My mom and SIL also threw my shower and they weren't sure if they should make food based upon the idea that those people might show up.  I put a generic facebook status saying please make sure you RSVP for the shower if you haven't already.  It is up to the hosts to handle it, but when they don't have those people as facebook friends it can be easier to just put up a generic post.  

Mustardseed2007

It's up to the hosts, but if the hosts ask for your help in contacting people you know and they don't, then I would step in and just shoot them an email or text them or something.

dmosquera4

my shower is on sat and i planned it all my self... i am a little neurotic and we live in another state so i wanted to do it but my friends are begin really helpful if i need something they go and get it..... i asked everybody that didn't rsvp very nicely to see if they were going to make it since my parents are the one doing all the cooking i need to know roughly how many people are going to be there also for favor and such, this a very low budget thing and I'm trying to save money where i can.

KyMackey

I agree that it's the host's job! It could be a little awkward for you to have to ask. If your sister is throwing the shower and a lot of them are good friends or family, it should be ok for her to contact them!

spano41

I think it kind of depends on the relationship between the hosts and your guests. For some of the people I would expect the host to ask, but some she has never met and it might be easier for me to casually ask if they plan on going. Just do what feels right for your situation.

JLyn821

sandbridge1030 said:

I helped my mom by following up with a few of my girlfriends that she doesn't know as well. I tried to just mention it in casual convo with them. Not RSVPing is one of my BIGGEST pet peeves - especially when formal invitations are mailed!

All of this.  All I did was text or FB message the couple of friends (that my mom had never met) that hadn't RSVPed to my mom.  I didn't ask if they were coming, I just mentioned that my mom hadn't heard from them yet and that they could always email her since the club they were having the shower needed a head count.  All of them were happy for the reminder.  In fact, one of them said she thought she texted a response to the phone number given on the invite.  I had to let her know the number on the invite was my parents' land line. 

kateleestar

My shower is Saturday and they had about 9 people not rsvp... I texted/messaged the ones that my BFF's didn't know well to see if they were coming. I had some invites get lost in the mail, and a few that were grateful because they misplaced it.

Trgree1712

My mom and cousin are throwing me a shower on Saturday and they had to contact about half the people on the invite list to see if they were coming or not. I am not sure why it is so hard for people to RSVP.

rlallen13

My showers are March 8, 29 and the one my mother in law is having is up in the air... Far far in the air lol. I was told to show up at both showers looking amazing and I think I am able to do that. My sister, and three of my closes friends are hosting the shower. I am so excited!!'

Ksample89

My SIL and mother are also throwing mine. They had asked me for a list of names and addresses so they could send out invites. They are also preparing food and favors so RSVPing is important. I added the phone numbers of everyone to the list I originally gave them so they could contact who they hadn't heard from.

zazu13

My showers are now over and I have already had two people come up and say how sorry they are that they missed it, but they didn't know about it until after. Both had overlooked it or there was a mix up with mail delivery. I wish either my hostess or I had followed up  with them

(We mailed the invites 2 weeks in advance of the shower which is standard here and to make sure they weren't mixed up with the craziness of Christmas)

emh81

I've worked in marketing for the past 5 years and this is my BIGGEST pet peeve!! I sent you a postage paid envelope (or asked for a yes or no email)... how hard is it to RSVP!!!????

That said, if the hostess isn't worried, you shouldn't be either I'd let her handle any follow-up, it could come across as pushy if you call to follow-up. 

relax and enjoy the shower!!