1st Trimester

Husband wants to name son after him.

I reaaaaaallllly wish he would change his mind.i mean, I get it. I see how a father would want a "junior." Although I am for giving a unique name to a unique being. BUT get this. Both his grandfathers have his first name (one has his exact same name), his father has his exact same name, his identical twin brother has his exact same name (yes you read correctly) and now his nephew has his exact same name. Our son too?!!!! When will this end? Not to mention the credit issues I see in the future.
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Re: Husband wants to name son after him.

  • I reaaaaaallllly wish he would change his mind.i mean, I get it. I see how a father would want a "junior." Although I am for giving a unique name to a unique being. BUT get this. Both his grandfathers have his first name (one has his exact same name), his father has his exact same name, his identical twin brother has his exact same name (yes you read correctly) and now his nephew has his exact same name. Our son too?!!!! When will this end? Not to mention the credit issues I see in the future.

    Anyway you see I can convince him otherwise? Am I being silly?

  • Have you tried compromising on a middle name? I don't blame you for your feelings. I am not too keen on juniors either. But to each their own. Maybe this conversation with your SO should be saved for later (unless you are 100% team green). You may end up with a girl and the whole emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.
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    bumpuser10217137[Deleted User]
  • Rosebean said:

    Have you tried compromising on a middle name? I don't blame you for your feelings. I am not too keen on juniors either. But to each their own. Maybe this conversation with your SO should be saved for later (unless you are 100% team green). You may end up with a girl and the whole emotional roller coaster could have been avoided.

    You are right. We don't know the gender yet. I doubt he'll change his mind especially since his twin brother puts major pressure on him to follow the trend. Compromising on a middle name may be the only way.
  • Deal with it when and if the time comes. For all you know, you could be having a girl. And if you do end up having a boy, talk about it. Naming your child should be a compromise. So both of you are going to have to do some compromising.
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  • Credit scores are based on social security numbers, so I kind of doubt there will be issues. 


    Do or don't. Discuss it with your husband. I knew mine's stance before we were even married. It was a deal breaker for him. Fortunately I had no issues with a son of mine being a III.

    You would think the glorious social security number would serve its purpose but my husband has actually received bills from his brother and father and it's always a headache to get it straightened out.
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  • Credit scores are based on social security numbers, so I kind of doubt there will be issues. 

    Do or don't. Discuss it with your husband. I knew mine's stance before we were even married. It was a deal breaker for him. Fortunately I had no issues with a son of mine being a III.


    You would think this but my husband - who has same first name on his uncle - has had "issues" with credit, even when he has given his SIN.  They will call to confirm his birthday, or ask for more ID, because when they run his name his uncle comes up, and they don't even share a middle name.  It usually works out in the end but it does slow down the process. 

    He goes by his middle name (his parents had no intention of calling him by his first name but were adhering to "family pressure" to use the naming convention) and honestly he HATES it - he would have preferred to have the name he goes by be his first name.

    How does the family tell the ones with the exact same name apart?  Like at a family gathering how do they specify who they are talking too?

    I agree with PP - it should be a compromise and a name you are both happy with.  Maybe you will have a girl and problem solved lol

    They have nicknames of course. It is the only way mom can yell at one of them from another room. Lol Throughout the years they have also picked up their differences. My husband is more playful in personality and is usually smiling. Unlike his twin. They are actually very different personality wise. They even have complete different tastes in music (some agreements of course.)

  • My FIL's stuff shows up on my husband's credit report. They share a first name and it has been really hard to correct.

    To the OP. I would want him to have his own identity. So strange that he has the same name as his brother!
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  • Credit scores are based on social security numbers, so I kind of doubt there will be issues. 

    Do or don't. Discuss it with your husband. I knew mine's stance before we were even married. It was a deal breaker for him. Fortunately I had no issues with a son of mine being a III.

    You would think the glorious social security number would serve its purpose but my husband has actually received bills from his brother and father and it's always a headache to get it straightened out.
    Bills =/= credit score. 

    That also means it's likely the jackass the bill belongs to gave them your address hoping you'd be dumb enough to pay it for them. They don't randomly grab addresses and send out bills. They get it from the person that signed up for the account. 

    No. Not true. My husband and FIL have the same name and have issues with bills all the time, especially if we use the same company. Also one time the bank put FILs bank accounts in my husband's name.  Unpaid bills can affect your credit score. If you use the same company for a service, you can get confused and pay a bill thinking it was yours very easily.


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  • Is it a cultural thing for your husbands family? My best friends husband, his brother, his nephew, and his father all share the same exact name. Confusing on paper? Yes. BUT they all go by a different unique nickname (and I'm not talking Joe, Joey, Joseph). When my friend had a son they did not follow the name trend, which was not a big deal for her husband but was for his family. My suggestion would be to talk it out with your SO. Even if you have a girl this time that doesn't mean this won't come up again.

    FWIW my mom and aunt had the same first and last name, different middle name, different date of birth, and the national bank chain they used STILL mixed up their statements and accounts...
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  • WhoCanItBeNow said:

    Speshul said:
    Credit scores are based on social security numbers, so I kind of doubt there will be issues. 

    Do or don't. Discuss it with your husband. I knew mine's stance before we were even married. It was a deal breaker for him. Fortunately I had no issues with a son of mine being a III.

    You would think the glorious social security number would serve its purpose but my husband has actually received bills from his brother and father and it's always a headache to get it straightened out.
    Bills =/= credit score. 

    That also means it's likely the jackass the bill belongs to gave them your address hoping you'd be dumb enough to pay it for them. They don't randomly grab addresses and send out bills. They get it from the person that signed up for the account. 

    No. Not true. My husband and FIL have the same name and have issues with bills all the time, especially if we use the same company. Also one time the bank put FILs bank accounts in my husband's name.  Unpaid bills can affect your credit score. If you use the same company for a service, you can get confused and pay a bill thinking it was yours very easily.
    Only if you aren't paying attention. Sorry you suck at details.

    There are no "bills" on my credit score. Credit cards, open loans, mortgage, yes. Medical, utilities, no. You have to let those go a very long time before those would hit. If you pay attention and clear them up right away, it's NBD.

    DH is a Jr. There are 3 other people in town with the same name. Never had a single issue.

    Yay good for you...but that does not make it impossible to happen to other people..it does happen.

    We have had 2 separate companies mix up retirement and bank accounts. Also we have been billed by the hospital for the wrong person...that one was difficult to straighten out because they wouldn't listen. If you think spending hours on the phone talking to people and sometimes having to drive your ass down to the institution(more than once, with both parties) is NBD then also yay for you. But for me...
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    OP I know someone that alternates first and middle names every generation. Like Billy Bob and then the son is Bob Billy. That might be a good compromise and you won't have to worry about possible confusion since everyone in the family has the same name.


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    dogperson11BelhurstBride[Deleted User]
  • S/O and his Dad and grandfather have the same first name. S/O gets his dads mail and vice versa. His Dad still gets mail for his deceased Dad. It's a PITA.

    Every week S/O drives two cities over to exchange mail. We just got his Direct TV bill, a medical bill, and his car registration.

    Also, I work in medical billing and I just had a HIPPA issue the other month. This guy called on his bill, he had the name and DOB right and after speaking with him, he tells me it's not his bill, it's his Dads and he keeps getting his mail because it's the same name. He gave me his Dads DOB, but the guys SSN was attached to it, not his Dads SSN.

    So, with same names, theres mail issues, billing issues, etc. It's not the end of the world, but if you don't like the name, you shouldn't get pressured into it because it's a family tradition.

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  • OP another idea is to find a different version of the name. Like if it is nicolas, you could try nikolai. I do think it should be a name both of you like. Good Luck :)


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    dogperson11[Deleted User]
  • Speshul said:



    No. Not true. My husband and FIL have the same name and have issues with bills all the time, especially if we use the same company. Also one time the bank put FILs bank accounts in my husband's name.  Unpaid bills can affect your credit score. If you use the same company for a service, you can get confused and pay a bill thinking it was yours very easily.

    The exact same thing would happen with my dad and grandfather. Dad refused to make my brother a III because of how many times he'd had banking and bill mix ups with his father. I'd compromise on a middle name, but don't feel pressured to use a name you don't want.

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  • Speshul said:
    OP another idea is to find a different version of the name. Like if it is nicolas, you could try nikolai. I do think it should be a name both of you like. Good Luck :)
    This is a really great idea! Even looking for a diminutive form of a name might work, or something like Harry > Harrison, Andrew > Addison for example. My husband's middle name is Nicholas and I really liked it, but he felt funny about using it, so I did some research and Colin is a diminutive form of the name Nicholas, and we both loved that name.

    It's kind of hard to come up with good suggestions without knowing the name, but there could be some compromise (although just using it as a middle name makes sense and is easy) that pleases both of you.
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  • Oh. I DO NOT like the name.
    charmcityspence
  • Am I missing something here? Did you discuss with before marriage?

    If not, why would you allow your husband to be the only one deciding on a name? A name that you do not like, none the less. You are equals, act like it and put your foot down.

     

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]tromboner
  • UGHHH!!! my DH is a III, and he wants a IV...I wouldn't mid if his dad and grandfather weren't jerks (which DH agrees with) AND I hate the name...This is still in debate obviously. I offered a middle name (I want a girl to have my name for a middle name) So, then he offers up ridiculous options as the only other thing he would consider other than his name , ie: Timber. No Joke. He loves it...\

    I grew up in a house with a Jr. and Sr. and it was so annoying- phone, mail etc. I could only give in if we agreed to call the baby a version of the same name in another language, or a cute kind of not really nickname sort of derived from the original name. Still not my favs though. It is hard though b/c I know if I was a "the third", I'd probably want a "the fourth" too.

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  • I think it is super cute that he wants to name the baby after himself but I think if you don't give the baby it's own name you're not giving him is own little identity! Have you tried that with your husband? 
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  • Lurking as we've started talking names recently. OP-another thing perhaps you could bring up with him is that god forbid the kid does something really bad when they're older, it's also your DH's name, and that may be tough for him on both fronts -that it's his son and that it's his name. The chances of that happening are obviously very slim, but it happened in my family and Sr was devastated not only at what Jr did and how it affected Sr's grand kids, but also that it was 'his' name in the papers and on the news.
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  • Not saying this is common, but DH has had terrible problems with having the same name as his father. Primarily since his father has tried using DH's identity for credit/purchases/etc. At the moment we have everything straightened out, but in the past it has been a large problem for him. I've also seen the reverse happen to friends of ours, where the child has used the parent's identity.

    I completely understand if it's family tradition, etc. At first I actually wanted LO to be named after DH, but from past headaches, have just decided we'd rather choose our own name.
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