February 2014 Moms

Open letter Tuesday

2

Re: Open letter Tuesday

  • @avswolf I was going to ask about your "pg" friend!!! how overdue does she think she is? I can't wait to see how all of this plays out. ::insert smiley with big eyes eating popcorn that doesn't exist::
    image
  • Dear Discharge,


    Enough. 

    Sincerely, 
    Undies, snoogle, toilet paper, and vulva. 
    =))

    imageimage
  • kt_arr said:
     Dear Dad and Stepmom, Thanks for never returning any of my phone calls. I get you don't care about being involved with me or LO. But for the LOVE OF GOD do NOT complain about me "excluding" you on Facebook. You haven't returned any of my phone calls since the a/s. You were invited to the baby shower but never responded. There's only so much I can do until it's left in your hands. Sincerely, Fed the fuck up
    ((Hugs)) 
    It pisses me off that some people can be such inconsiderate pricks.

    “Some people live more in 20 years than others do in 80. It’s not the time that matters, it’s the person.”
    — The Doctor, Season 3, Episode 6

    Dating Since: 2/13/05 * Married Since: 9/8/12 

    image

    kt_arr
  • Dear Cankles,

    I could totally deal with you, because lots of pregnant ladies get swelly ankles, and that's the way shit goes. But did you have to tell the wrists that it's okay to poof up too? What the hell is this?? What do I call the arm/hand equivalent of cankles? Arands? Hams? Oh god no.

    Sincerely,
    Puffy McCanked
    golfergirl08kt_arrcbear47
  • Dear Cleaning Service who cleaned my house today,
    Thank you.  Coming home to a sparkling clean house was better than a day at the spa or sex at this point in my pregnancy.

    Sincerely, I can't scrub floors on my hands and knees right now.


    Dear Husband,

    Thank you for this wonderful present!  I am looking forward to coming home from the hospital to a clean house for the second time!

    Sincerely, Feeling appreciated and loved!



    (disclaimer: This is my 'push' present- I had it done with DS1 as well, two visits from a housekeeper- once right before baby and once while I'm in the hospital.  It's heaven.)
    BabyFruit Ticker image
    golfergirl08Avswolfjdubh
  • Dear Jackass McMFer on the freeway on my way home from work,

    Seriously? I am obviously occupying that lane, going the speed limit. Did you really feel the need to merge into my lane going 15 below the speed limit, almost directly into me? Just FYI, that little clicky thing that causes a little arrow to pop up is called a "turn indicator." Historically, it's been used to signal that a driver wants to move into a different lane, to warn other drivers of said merge. Oh, I didn't get the memo that you are the special snowflake that doesn't need to use one! Or maybe you thought my uterus needed some practice, therefore causing the cascade of Braxton Hicks on purpose? 

    Sincerely,

    Get off the fucking road before you kill someone
    imageimage

    Feb 14 September siggy challenge: goats
    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    ChiaWombatziggy903KatyBriggsKatM84
  • cy1980cy1980
    Third Anniversary 10 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    member
    Dear man in line at chipotle,
    thanks for trying to pay for a burrito with a $100 note. I enjoyed waiting in line for 9 extra minutes so you could yell at the staff about their policy on bank notes. I wasn't hungry at all !!!
    golfergirl08KatyBriggs
  • Hg45Hg45
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    Dear sleep,

    I realize you and are going to be mortal enemies for the next few months but do you really have to start being a bitch about it right now?? Not cool!

    A Very cranky pregnant woman


    Dear bladder,

    I know you are being tormented by the baby and other things around you. I realize it's not fair to place all the blame on you but can you just for once, just for one night be strong for me and hold on to the fluids? I really need your support here to prove to sleep that it's not all your fault.

    A very 'over peed' and tired person

     

    golfergirl08KatyBriggsjdubh
  • Dear body,
    Since I'm only allowed to sleep on my sides, thanks for letting me choose between excruciating hip pain, and throbbing sore arm (from tdap shot.) I'm guessing no rest will be had tonight.

    Thanks anyways,
    Exhausted Mev.
    F14 August Siggy Challenge: Rainbows and Unicorns:

    image

    image



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    golfergirl08
  • Dear Estranged Grandmother,

     

    After not hearing from you in YEARS, do not call me and act offended that I am not overly thrilled to speak with you. Also, do not ask me what I am going to name this baby and then say "Oh... that is an unusual name.... well ok...." and then try to chat with me like you didn't just insult me twice.

     

    Sincerely,

    Someone who could have done without your phone call today (or ever)

    #rainbows and #unicorns make any situation #cute. keithcorcoran
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    golfergirl08
  • Dear To-Do List,

    Where are you? I have so many things to do, and apparently the first thing is find where the heck I put you.

    Signed, Too lazy to look, so will continue bumping instead
    golfergirl08Bookshelves
  • Dear Fiance,

    I love you to death, but I'm getting kind of annoyed that every night you get home from work you leave right away to go hangout with people. Yes, I get that you won't have that kind of freedom once LO is here, but I need some love and attention too. You're not usually like this and it's starting to get on my nerves. Please plan things with me once and awhile.

    Love,

    Your future wife.


    Dear men working on house,

    I am still unsure as to why you want to rip a down a wall in my room. It barely leaked and even if it's bad you won't be able to fix it until spring. That's a good few months away and I'm 9 months pregnant. I don't want you tearing apart my room. Please reconsider doing this until you can actually fix it right away.

    Thanks,

    Annoyed Pregnant Lady.
  • Dear stepmom,

    If I complain that I'm having a bad day because my toddler is being a nightmare and I'm exhausted, "Just wait until the next one is born" is not the correct response.

    Sincerely,
    The person who didn't want to talk to you in the first place.

    HisLovfjdubh
  • Dear stepmom, If I complain that I'm having a bad day because my toddler is being a nightmare and I'm exhausted, "Just wait until the next one is born" is not the correct response. Sincerely, The person who didn't want to talk to you in the first place.

    GGrrr...I hate when people say this! Here's what I have to say, from my own experience.  #1 and #2 are 13 months apart, and quite honestly it wasn't anymore difficult with two or more than it was with one.  In fact,my then 1 yo was very helpful in caring for his baby brother. More children =/= more work.  And as they grow up, the more you have, the more housework you can delegate.  :)  It's awesome.

     <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1897b5.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

  • Dear coworkers,

    We have all worked here 9 months, please learn my fucking name. 'Hey pregnant lady' is not going to work much longer. I took the time to learn *most* of yours, please have the same courtesy.  You ask what I'm going to name my kid, why not ask what my name is? And no, I don't want to chip in on a birthday gift for someone who doesn't care to learn my name, please get some courtesy.

    Love,

    'Hey pregnant lady'

    F14 October Siggy Challenge - Animals in Costume!

    image 

     image
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    golfergirl08
  • dunvilles said:


    Junebugz1 said:

    Dear Fuck Face in the white truck,
    I was waiting on that parking spot near the door longgg before you decided to pull all the way through and steal it from me for no reason. Now preggo has to park in the back forty and walk. You are VERY lucky that I exercised major restraint and did not key the shit out of your vehicle. You know, "because hormones".
    Sincerely,
    I will cut you.



    People like this seriously tick me off!!!!

    A lady parked so close to my SUV a few weeks ago that I had to get into the passenger side and CLIMB OVER the console into the drivers seat at 8 months pregnant. She even looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and kept walking....

    DH and I joke about keeping a paintball gun in our car so we can mark idiots like this on the road and it will be a universal sign of THIS PERSON IS A MORON BEHIND THE WHEEL!!!


     

    Oh.no.she.diiiin't. Man, I was on the verge last night... never done anything like that before, but serious contemplation. The only things that stopped me were 1. I couldn't quite locate where the parking lot cameras were (lol), 2. That with LO coming, we need only good Karma. #1 was the major decider though.

    dunvilles
  • dunvilles said:


    Junebugz1 said:

    Dear Fuck Face in the white truck,
    I was waiting on that parking spot near the door longgg before you decided to pull all the way through and steal it from me for no reason. Now preggo has to park in the back forty and walk. You are VERY lucky that I exercised major restraint and did not key the shit out of your vehicle. You know, "because hormones".
    Sincerely,
    I will cut you.



    People like this seriously tick me off!!!!

    A lady parked so close to my SUV a few weeks ago that I had to get into the passenger side and CLIMB OVER the console into the drivers seat at 8 months pregnant. She even looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and kept walking....

    DH and I joke about keeping a paintball gun in our car so we can mark idiots like this on the road and it will be a universal sign of THIS PERSON IS A MORON BEHIND THE WHEEL!!!


     

    Oh. Wow. O_o. I think I would have written a very nasty little note and left if on her car ... That is just beyond ride on so many levels!!

  • Note to self- keep notepad and pen in car instead of using key on paint. :)
    dunvillesgolfergirl08Sakura0019jdubh
  • Dear Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumbass in my office,

    Thank you for booking a meeting last week for today and telling NO ONE about it. I had no contract, no credit card form and basically no inkling that this group was coming into the hotel today. If the client hadn't called to confirm her catering arrangements (that you told no one about) I never would've known about it.  Thank you for making me scramble around to clean and set up a meeting room by myself at 8 months pregnant.  Also, I cannot formulate a contract with "ICE 16 8-5" written down on a post it note. What does that even mean? Learn to take a message! How do you function on a daily basis and how did you get your jobs anyway? I have been working hard to cram 6 months of event planning into these last few weeks, but what the hell are you going to do without me for 2 months?!

    Signed,

    Extremely stressed and frustrated with your incompetence. 



    Dear high school girls at the mall,

    Thank you sooo much for taking up the pregnant parking spot at the mall. I had to trudge through 12 inches of snow and ice through the gigantic parking lot at 34 weeks pregnant. I know you don't really need a lot of exercise with your teeny little yoga pants/leggings and my lard ass could use the extra steps, but it's really dangerous for me to waddle through the icy parking lot you skinny selfish biotches! Yes, I saw you pull out of the coveted parking spot in your white Lexus SUV that Daddy has bought you as I was walking in. Be more considerate because there are actually women who need to use that spot.

    Signed,

    Waddles the Pregnant Penguin 
    BabyFetus Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    golfergirl08
  • utponyutpony
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Dear Makers of Baby Shit (Graco and Fisher Price in particular), 

    Why you have to make this shit so hard to put together?!?!? I have fought with the stroller, swing, rock n play and changing table this week, and now I'm tired (and it's only Wednesday). We're pregnant, this should be way easier to put together. Now I just feel weak and dumb. 

    Signed, 
    Soon to be mom who will keep buying this shit even though it takes a rocket scientist and a strong man to put it together.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
       F14 October Siggy Challenge - Animals in Costumes
    image     
    image

    golfergirl08
  • Dear baby,

    Please leave my rib alone. Please. I will resort to bribery if needed.

    Your loving (but hurting) mom


    image image
    golfergirl08littlepig2goobermom
  • Dear Employee,
    When DH told me that you went home sick today with whatever is going around, I felt bad for you.  I already had the head cold and didn't even want to think about the flu like symptoms that are also going around.  However, do not tell me that you are coming in tomorrow morning no matter how you feel.  I am sorry you need the money and that you aren't working next week (which I don't even remember us talking about, but I will chalk that up to pregnancy brain).  But if you come in sick, I will send your ass home.  I am not going to catch whatever you have just because you want to make more money.  

    Love,
    Your boss and the pregnant lady that is tired of being sick.
    BabyFruit Ticker
    golfergirl08Sakura0019
  • Dear everyone in general and no one in particular,

    Please quit irritating me and pissing me off. Ok, maybe it's not your fault. Maybe it's the lack of sleep or inability to get comfortable. Maybe my kids really don't deserve my bitchy attitude because they ate the frosting I was going to use to make THEM a cake. Maybe the way you drive really isn't as bad as I make it out to be. Maybe your comment wasn't meant as an insult. Irregardless, can you all just knock it the F off???? I'm not normally this irritated and angry.

    Sincerely,
    An everyday quiet mannered, nice, happy person who seems to have lost her mind.

     <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Baby Names"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt1897b5.aspx" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    golfergirl08Mazingmommyof6
  • OTMFLOTMFL
    250 Answers 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Anniversary
    member
    dunvilles said:
    Junebugz1 said:
    Dear Fuck Face in the white truck, I was waiting on that parking spot near the door longgg before you decided to pull all the way through and steal it from me for no reason. Now preggo has to park in the back forty and walk. You are VERY lucky that I exercised major restraint and did not key the shit out of your vehicle. You know, "because hormones". Sincerely, I will cut you.

    People like this seriously tick me off!!!!

    A lady parked so close to my SUV a few weeks ago that I had to get into the passenger side and CLIMB OVER the console into the drivers seat at 8 months pregnant. She even looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and kept walking....

    DH and I joke about keeping a paintball gun in our car so we can mark idiots like this on the road and it will be a universal sign of THIS PERSON IS A MORON BEHIND THE WHEEL!!!


     


    People like this make me nuts. Once I went to the grocery store with my husband. When we came out, a guy parked so close, I couldn't even fit between the cars (prepregnancy). I had to crawl over from the other seat. I can't imagine doing that 8 mos pregnant! So, the idiot was a jeep with the top off. Yeah, my husband hocked a big loogie (spelling?) right onto his seat and dashboard.

    Me: 40, DH: 33.  TFAS since 11/12. BFP 5/31/13. 

    Our little guy is 3 and is a big brother!

    golfergirl08Sakura0019
  • OTMFL said:
    dunvilles said:
    Junebugz1 said:
    Dear Fuck Face in the white truck, I was waiting on that parking spot near the door longgg before you decided to pull all the way through and steal it from me for no reason. Now preggo has to park in the back forty and walk. You are VERY lucky that I exercised major restraint and did not key the shit out of your vehicle. You know, "because hormones". Sincerely, I will cut you.

    People like this seriously tick me off!!!!

    A lady parked so close to my SUV a few weeks ago that I had to get into the passenger side and CLIMB OVER the console into the drivers seat at 8 months pregnant. She even looked at me, shrugged her shoulders, and kept walking....

    DH and I joke about keeping a paintball gun in our car so we can mark idiots like this on the road and it will be a universal sign of THIS PERSON IS A MORON BEHIND THE WHEEL!!!


     


    People like this make me nuts. Once I went to the grocery store with my husband. When we came out, a guy parked so close, I couldn't even fit between the cars (prepregnancy). I had to crawl over from the other seat. I can't imagine doing that 8 mos pregnant! So, the idiot was a jeep with the top off. Yeah, my husband hocked a big loogie (spelling?) right onto his seat and dashboard.
    Bahaha I love this story. That jerk totally deserved it!
    imageimage

    Feb 14 September siggy challenge: goats
    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    OTMFL
  • BB0214BB0214
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper First Answer
    member
    Dear General Population,
    Please do not tell me or any other pregnant woman how big I am getting. I'm already self-conscious about how I look. I don't need the reminder. Please use the following statements only : "you look great," "how are you feeling?" These are the only 2 things that need to be said. Otherwise, saying nothing works very well.
    And for fucks sake, don't touch my belly!
    Sincerely,
    Beyond Irritated and Sensitive Pregnant Lady
    golfergirl08jdubhgoobermom
  • utpony said:
    Dear Makers of Baby Shit (Graco and Fisher Price in particular), 

    Why you have to make this shit so hard to put together?!?!? I have fought with the stroller, swing, rock n play and changing table this week, and now I'm tired (and it's only Wednesday). We're pregnant, this should be way easier to put together. Now I just feel weak and dumb. 

    Signed, 
    Soon to be mom who will keep buying this shit even though it takes a rocket scientist and a strong man to put it together.
    Dear @utpony,

    DH was putting together the Graco glider today. He was watching the Youtube video, where the woman neatly snaps each part into place. At one point he was yanking on a tube shouting "it doesn't go like that!" at the video.  :)) We still need to do the stroller too. :(

    Formerly known as clb2196
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image  image
    utponygolfergirl08JackieP1023
2
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards