1st Trimester

bridesmaid when 9 months pregnant?!

Help! My brother is getting married September 20. He has just put all of us siblings and our significant others in the wedding. Of course we want to stand up there for him on his big day. However, my husband and I just got the amazing news that we are pregnant after 6 months of trying! We are beyond excited! Our estimated due date is September 18. Soooo.... what should I do?! My brother expected me to be pregnant in his wedding, but not full term and due at the same time. The bride has already said every girl can get the dress of her own choice as long as all of the materials are the same (knowing I might be pregnant and growing). Do I just order a dress much larger and hope I can still be there or back out? If I back out, it throws everything off they have planned. I haven't told them yet. I am telling my parents this weekend to get their take on it too. My poor mother will have to decide (maybe) to be at her son's wedding or the birth of her grandchild. Oh the stress!

Re: bridesmaid when 9 months pregnant?!

  • Talk to them and decide together.  If you have a normal, healthy pregnancy and it's a local wedding, you should be ok to participate.

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  • The wedding would be about a 40 minute drive from home and we would be staying in a hotel. They are planning things a little different. My husband and I will both be standing on the groom's side. Its a little nontraditional. The bride has so many girls that they split the wedding party up into being on the side of who you are the friend or relative of. So technically I am a grooms-lady, but will match the bridesmaids. Weird, I know. I guess I will call them this weekend and see what they say! The wedding is also the same day as my nephew and niece's birthdays. Both sides of our family have birthdays at this time. 

  • Personally if you were my sister, I would totally understand why you would decline nor would I try to pressure you to be in my wedding party.  If you can be there, awesome, if you can't, would suck but would understand that you are having a baby which is awesome!  I would assume they would be happy for you, and you can make a decision that is best for you and them together.   Best of luck.


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  • If it were me, I'd plan on going and attending. It sounds like an insanely ridiculous bridal party, but if it means the world to you, go for it. I felt fantastic at 39 weeks and could have easily been in a wedding. 

    If you do end up having the baby and being unable to attend, it's not like they can be all that mad at you. And if they are mad at you, they're even bigger assholes. Balanced bridal parties are not a big deal. If both you and your husband end up bailing...guess what. Still an equal number of people, just switch up the positions. 

    Brides are insane. 
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  • I would be honest with them, tell them there's just no way of knowing what things will be like, and ask them what they would like to do. If the couple insists on including you, great-just make sure they know that things may change for you at the very last minute. You can go early, you can go late, you can have an easy pregnancy or a difficult one-the best thing for everyone is to relax and try not to get too caught up in the ways things *have* to be.
    ghostof5letters[Deleted User]
  • So you're either going to be hugely pregnant, have a tiny little new baby, or in active labor during the wedding.  Honestly, I would opt out of that and attend as just a guest if you can.  If you haven't gone into labor yet, do you think you'll be up for standing around for pictures and waking up early to get your hair and makeup done?  The last wedding I was in, my feet were hurting by the end of the pictures and I wasn't pregnant.  
    My SIL is getting married 1 month after my due date, in Hawaii.  You better believe I want to go to that wedding, but realistically, as a FTM, I don't think it's going to happen.  
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    dogperson11Jentech84[Deleted User]
  • I would decline.


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  • I'm with @Primrosemama, I would decline. 

    I was *supposed* to be a bridesmaid when I was a little over 8 months pregnant. I declined just in case I went into labor early. I ended up being induced 1 week after the wedding. I was able to attend and helped her with her day, but I know for a fact I would have been miserable trying to be involved with everything to help her. 
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    PrimRoseMama[Deleted User]aditigirl[Deleted User]
  • Thanks for the advice! I am planning on telling them this weekend and see what they say. I will let them decide. I am not going to feel bad about this at all. I know they will be supportive. I just hope I can somehow make it, but that is all up to Baby!

    ghostof5letters[Deleted User]
  • I'll take "Things That Are Almost Certain to Go Wrong" for $100, Alex. :)

    Seriously, probably not a good idea.  Too many uncertain variables.  What if you deliver early?  Then they're "short" a bridesmaid.  Better they plan now to have someone else.
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  • Your due date is too close to the wedding for it to be feasible for you to participate. I am not sure what it will throw off - the sides don't have to have the same number of people. If by some chance you are able to attend, you can be a regular guest and be happy you aren't standing during the ceremony at 9 month pregnant.
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  • I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
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  • allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.
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  • That is very close to your due date!

    I am in a wedding in March and will be 7 months pregnant.  I normally wear a size 8 in dresses and ordered my dress in a size 16.  I am getting it altered when we get closer. I would suggest getting something with an empire waist and flowy material if you decide to be in the wedding.

    I am sure they will understand either way!
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  • If you let them know now, they can try and find a way to include you without having to rely on you to be part of the wedding party.  That way if you deliver earlier than expected (or are extremely pregnant) you could be there, but not need to worry about all the duties a bridesmaid has.
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  • One of my bridesmaid, maide of honor, was 9 months and it was all good! She was beautiful and belly ! She got a 10 and usually wears a 2. She brought it to get altered two weeks before the wedding. All worked great. They also carry maternity bridesmaids dresses or can order extra panels or fabric. Go for it and if baby comes then deal with that when it happens two girl could walk one girl.
    [Deleted User]
  • Two guys can walk one girl down isle is what I meant to say about.
  • I joked with them a couple of months ago that this is how it would work out so I think they might find it humorous. The bride is really cool about letting everyone pick their own dress so I would be able to pick something to go with a BIG belly. I think they will be very understanding if we cannot make it. I think they would only be upset if my water broke during the ceremony! ha ... I don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby. I have no clue how I am going to feel, but maybe it would be nice to get pampered? I will report back how they take the news after I tell them this weekend.

  • Also, I was the one throwing her a bridal shower for our side of the family. I am going to pass the torch to someone else for that. I am also throwing a baby shower for my SIL who is having her first baby in June. 

  • cwinning said:
    I joked with them a couple of months ago that this is how it would work out so I think they might find it humorous. The bride is really cool about letting everyone pick their own dress so I would be able to pick something to go with a BIG belly. I think they will be very understanding if we cannot make it. I think they would only be upset if my water broke during the ceremony! ha ... I don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby. I have no clue how I am going to feel, but maybe it would be nice to get pampered? I will report back how they take the news after I tell them this weekend.
    I am all for you being in the wedding...but try to remember that the bride has been thinking about this day her whole life and it is in fact HER day.  When I was in a wedding at 9 months pregnant, DH was always at my side other than walking down the aisle and getting my hair and makeup done. I was HIS problem, not the bride's.  He had water and a little folding chair at the rehearsal and during pictures on the day of the wedding.  We went out of our way not to burden or take attention away from the bride. 
    I like this idea.

    I think it's great you're going to talk with them and see what they think. From what you're saying, the bride seems like she's pretty easy going. Hopefully you can figure something out that works well for you both.

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    I would not do it. Attend the wedding if you can, but being in it sounds like way more of a headache than it would worth at 40 weeks.
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  • I would not have been able to handle being in a wedding that far along. I could not have stood long enough for the ceremony or pictures.  I'm not sure I could have even handled being a guest.  

    [Deleted User]
  • Err, am I reading that right?  That you're due two days before the wedding?!  There is no way in hell I'd feel like being a bridesmaid after my due date had come and gone.  ;)

    I am supposed to be in a wedding a month before my due date and I'm really dreading it to be honest.

    I'm sure your family will understand if you need to decline.
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  • I think you took that wrong. I am NOT trying to outshine them. Of course the day is about them. I was just saying I am not going to hide my excitement for our news. For example, when my husband and I got engaged, it was a few days before a friend's baby shower. Everyone wanted to ask us about our engagement, but we simply said today was not about us. At the wedding, it will be very clear that the baby could arrive at anytime. I am saying I will not feel bad about sharing my excitement for myself. In no way and I trying to trump them. This is how things worked out and it is not going to be something we can avoid.

  • And honestly, I hope Baby comes early enough we can still attend the ceremony or come late. I am mostly worried about my mom. I could not imagine her having to decide to attend her son's wedding or grandchild's birth. I hope it does not happen like that.

  • If this was a friend's wedding, I'd suggest declining.  But this is family.  You'd be there anyhow and likely in pictures.  They always do family pictures at weddings, even for family not in the bridal party.  So, if you'd be attending and already in pictures, it might not hurt to plan to be there as a bridesmaid.  There wouldn't be as much of a difference and you might regret not being a bridesmaid if you are there anyhow. As long as they are okay with the possibility they might be one person short, I'd say go for it.  I'm sure they would be open to accommodations, like for you to sit in the front pew instead of standing or and for your DH or someone not taking care of the bride to have a chair there.

    IDK, it's one day.  Yes, it's past your EDD, but that can change too.  You are going to be dressing up to go anyway, so you may as well have your outfit picked out way ahead of time and be able to sit on your duff while someone else makes you pretty. ;)  
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    [Deleted User]
  • The wedding is two days after your due date.  You could go early or late.  Personally by 36 weeks I was horribly uncomfortable and kind of went into hibernation at that point.  There is no way I would stand up in a wedding at 40 weeks.  Also you could have a few days old baby.  You will not want to be standing in public then either.  The bleeding and leaking boobs are crazy and not something I would want the world to be seeing.  I would decline and say you will make it if you can but there is a good chance you will not be there.


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  • allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
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    Jolaine83[Deleted User][Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Liz4444 said:
    allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
    That's my thought too.  I mean, either she'll be able to participate or she won't, but she'll be more involved than the casual guest no matter what because she is the sister of the groom. So, she could always plan to be in the wedding and see what happens, if the bride/groom are cool with that.  
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  • Jolaine83 said:
    If this was a friend's wedding, I'd suggest declining.  But this is family.  You'd be there anyhow and likely in pictures.  They always do family pictures at weddings, even for family not in the bridal party.  So, if you'd be attending and already in pictures, it might not hurt to plan to be there as a bridesmaid.  There wouldn't be as much of a difference and you might regret not being a bridesmaid if you are there anyhow. As long as they are okay with the possibility they might be one person short, I'd say go for it.  I'm sure they would be open to accommodations, like for you to sit in the front pew instead of standing or and for your DH or someone not taking care of the bride to have a chair there.

    IDK, it's one day.  Yes, it's past your EDD, but that can change too.  You are going to be dressing up to go anyway, so you may as well have your outfit picked out way ahead of time and be able to sit on your duff while someone else makes you pretty. ;)  
    EDDs rarely change drastically. It will still be in that general time frame. 

    Oh yeah, I agree.  And we all know that EDDs mean squat, especially the first time around.  But FWIW, my EDDs changed 5 days later with both kids, which would put her past the date of the wedding if that happened.  I don't know if that would make her feel better but 2 days isn't much different than a week before or 4 days later.  It's all relative when it comes down to the kid actually coming.
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    [Deleted User]
  • One of my bridesmaids was 9 months pregnant. I ordered he dress huge and she had it taken in with a little extra room. Hopefully you'll be fine, a week early or a week late would really be a blessing. Good luck!
  • Liz4444 said:
    allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
    But siblings are usually in 2 or 3 pictures while bridesmaids are in like 20 or 30.  It's much easier to stand for 3 pictures than it is for 30.  Plus the bridesmaids have been standing through the ceremony while siblings are sitting down.  

    As for getting up early to go get food for everyone else and then lounge around.  It's not that easy.  At that point you are moving pretty slow, you are uncomfortable, you may be contracting (which freaks people out) and many woman suffer from insomnia so you want all the sleep you can get.  

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  • mysticl said:
    Liz4444 said:
    allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
    But siblings are usually in 2 or 3 pictures while bridesmaids are in like 20 or 30.  It's much easier to stand for 3 pictures than it is for 30.  Plus the bridesmaids have been standing through the ceremony while siblings are sitting down.  

    As for getting up early to go get food for everyone else and then lounge around.  It's not that easy.  At that point you are moving pretty slow, you are uncomfortable, you may be contracting (which freaks people out) and many woman suffer from insomnia so you want all the sleep you can get.  
    My family was in way more pics than the bridal party... family is more important.  
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  • Liz4444 said:
    mysticl said:
    Liz4444 said:
    allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
    But siblings are usually in 2 or 3 pictures while bridesmaids are in like 20 or 30.  It's much easier to stand for 3 pictures than it is for 30.  Plus the bridesmaids have been standing through the ceremony while siblings are sitting down.  

    As for getting up early to go get food for everyone else and then lounge around.  It's not that easy.  At that point you are moving pretty slow, you are uncomfortable, you may be contracting (which freaks people out) and many woman suffer from insomnia so you want all the sleep you can get.  
    My family was in way more pics than the bridal party... family is more important.  
    That's you.  Every wedding I've been to they did a ton more shots with the bridal party than the family.  

  • mysticl said:
    Liz4444 said:
    mysticl said:
    Liz4444 said:
    allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.

    You realize, as sister of the groom, bridesmaid or not, if she makes it to the wedding she is going to have to be there for pictures, right?
    But siblings are usually in 2 or 3 pictures while bridesmaids are in like 20 or 30.  It's much easier to stand for 3 pictures than it is for 30.  Plus the bridesmaids have been standing through the ceremony while siblings are sitting down.  

    As for getting up early to go get food for everyone else and then lounge around.  It's not that easy.  At that point you are moving pretty slow, you are uncomfortable, you may be contracting (which freaks people out) and many woman suffer from insomnia so you want all the sleep you can get.  
    My family was in way more pics than the bridal party... family is more important.  
    That's you.  Every wedding I've been to they did a ton more shots with the bridal party than the family.  
    Seriously?  Not in my world.  My album has 3 bridal party pics, BMs helping me dress, BMs with me and entire wedding party.  We have way more family photos.  
    Yes, seriously.  They take bride with her family, bride and groom with her family, groom with his family, bride and groom with his family.  Maybe break it down to separate shots with just parents and just siblings but for the posed pictures that's it.  Whereas they come up with a ton of different combinations and poses for the wedding party.  And if the ceremony and reception are in different places they try to get the family out of there so they can head over to the reception.   An album is a reflection of the pictures you choose to purchase so it can have more pictures of the family in it even if more pictures of the bridal party were taken.  

  • I'm in a similar situation. My due date is 4 weeks before I'm to be MOH in my closest friend's wedding. It took us a year of trying, so I couldn't believe the timing! My plan is to talk with her as soon as I'm out of the first trimester. I'll do whatever I can to still be part of her day if that's what she wants. It's hard though. I am so excited to finally be pregnant and at the same time so scared to disappoint my friend.
  • I guess I would still plan to be in it, with them fully understanding that you may not be there.

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  • melnyg said:

    I guess I would still plan to be in it, with them fully understanding that you may not be there.

    This.
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  • I've been a bridesmaid twice.  Each time was a lot more work than I signed up for.  These were smaller wedding parties though.  Once it was just me and the MOH, and the other wedding there were only four of us. 
    If the wedding party is huge, it might not be such a hard thing to do that late in pregnancy.  Heck, I was still working 2 days after my due date with my DD.  I could have easily handled a wedding.  See how you're feeling later in the pregnancy.  The exact details don't have to be ironed out until much later.  See how you feel in the heat in June or July.  The bride will still have time to decide on two possible bridal party arrangements.  If she's not up for making two arrangements, it sounds like you would both be comfortable if she said thanks, but no thanks.  

    Plus....there's always CAKE!!!!!!
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  • I was in the same situation as yourself with our first.  My sister-in-laws wedding date was booked and we found out a few months later that we were pregnant and due less than a week beforehand.  We were honest up front about it and made the decision together about being in the wedding.  My SIL and BIL are flexible and understood and we played it by ear right up until the wedding.  All the bridesmaids got to choose their own dress in the same color, so I chose one that I could wear if I were 9 months pregnant or a new mom.  I waited until close to last minute to order it, then got two sizes bigger than the size I fit on that date.  We ended up having baby 2 weeks early and we all made it to the wedding (barley as our son was having trouble gaining weight and ended up back at the hospital so we missed the rehearsal).  The seamstress that I know is great, and took me in last minute for alterations.  It all worked out in the end.  Oh ya, and did I mention the wedding was 4 hours away from home... baby's first road trip!!

     

    So ya, my advice would be, be honest and make the decision together depending on how flexible and opened your siblings are.  Go through lots of back-up plan ideas and different scenarios.  Have someone lined up to watch baby at the wedding if they arrive beforehand.  Don't stress to much about it and take things as they come.  You can't plan baby's arrival and the chances are it won't be the exact same date as the wedding.

  • My sister found out she was finally pregnant (after a year of trying) within days of us setting our wedding date. She decided on her own not to stand up in the wedding because her EDD was so close. While I was bummed she wouldn't be standing up, I totally understood. I asked if she would still be willing to do a reading (and if she was in the hospital, someone else could easily take her place). My numbers were uneven for sides, but that didn't ruin anything. Nobody stood up "together."


  • Hmm. This is a little tricky because it's family. I was asked to be in a wedding a few months ago and agreed when I was not pregnant. The wedding is a few days after my due date and is in another state. I haven't told the bride yet, but I am planning to back out.

    My one suggestion for you: do NOT make your mother choose between the birth of her grandchild and your brother's wedding. I don't know your relationship with your mother, but if this was me and my brother I would insist our mom be at the wedding. She could come to see you the very next day if that's what she wants, but I would be thinking about how this will play out for years down the road.
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  • Hmm. This is a little tricky because it's family. I was asked to be in a wedding a few months ago and agreed when I was not pregnant. The wedding is a few days after my due date and is in another state. I haven't told the bride yet, but I am planning to back out.

    My one suggestion for you: do NOT make your mother choose between the birth of her grandchild and your brother's wedding. I don't know your relationship with your mother, but if this was me and my brother I would insist our mom be at the wedding. She could come to see you the very next day if that's what she wants, but I would be thinking about how this will play out for years down the road.

    Definitely agree with the last point. For me, the choice would be a no-brainer. The baby will still be there days later; the wedding will not.
    I'm being featured in a new pregnancy/motherhood blog during the month of October, so if you ever wanted to know more about my pregnancy, birth, and motherhood experiences than anyone ever should, check out my posts in the link below! :)

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  • This thread is making me SALTS. She said what she was going to do on page 1.
  • kbsatrekbsatre member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments Second Anniversary Photogenic
    edited February 2014
    I'm hopeful your family will understand if you decline. My SIL was in my wedding and 8.5 months pregnant. I gave her the choice and she was a trooper and stayed in the wedding! Had her baby 19 days later! I'm in a wedding mid-June and will be 6 months and am telling the bride thus weekend!. And my husband is in his cousin's wedding sept 27 however I am due oct 2 and we think that is cutting it close so won't be going. (Wedding is two hours OOT.)

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  • barelybarely member
    1000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    cwinning said:
    I joked with them a couple of months ago that this is how it would work out so I think they might find it humorous. The bride is really cool about letting everyone pick their own dress so I would be able to pick something to go with a BIG belly. I think they will be very understanding if we cannot make it. I think they would only be upset if my water broke during the ceremony! ha ... I don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby. I have no clue how I am going to feel, but maybe it would be nice to get pampered? I will report back how they take the news after I tell them this weekend.
    I am all for you being in the wedding...but try to remember that the bride has been thinking about this day her whole life and it is in fact HER day.  When I was in a wedding at 9 months pregnant, DH was always at my side other than walking down the aisle and getting my hair and makeup done. I was HIS problem, not the bride's.  He had water and a little folding chair at the rehearsal and during pictures on the day of the wedding.  We went out of our way not to burden or take attention away from the bride. 

    This. Exactly.
     I know this is an old thread, but I have really strong feelings about this topic. @cwinning Honestly, I find it appalling that you would even say that you "don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby". Seriously? What if someone had felt that way About YOUR day. If you feel that way, you should decline being in the wedding regardless. And trying for six months isn't really "trying like hell" unless you've had fertility issues, as I've learned from the ladies on the TTGP board. My MOH was only 7 months pregnant at my wedding, but she made everything about her and her pregnancy throughout the planning and leading up to the wedding and I would've rather had her decline being in the wedding because it was awful. You possibly not being able to make it is one thing, but if you plan to attend and make it about you......please don't. 
    TTC since 5/13
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  • Dani0329Dani0329 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Photogenic
    edited February 2014
    I am in a wedding October 1st, and due October 22nd! I am going to be as big as a house :) the bride was in my wedding 2 years ago and was pregnant, so I don't think she will mind! I will talk with her once I release the news.

     
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  • This is probably way too late but my best friend was in my wedding at nine months pregnant. She was due a week after the wedding. She still wanted to be in the wedding so she got her dress two sizes bigger than normal and then went to the seamstress multiple times right before the wedding. She was very pregnant, but had a lot of fun and we had people on standby who weren't drinking that could drive her to the hospital if needed b/c her husband was in a wedding the same day 2 hours away. I let her make all the choices in regards to shoes and whether she wanted to stand during the wedding, hey its her body. She gave birth three days after my wedding. I never regretted for one moment having her there to celebrate with us. :) 
  • I found out we were expecting yesterday, our due date based on date of my last period is 10/20...I am supposed to be a bridesmaid in a wedding on 10/26. Keeping my fingers crossed the first trimester goes well, I will tell her and most likely step down from her wedding. I am less concerned about the actual ceremony, but more concerned with the fact that it is going to be a very long day and would be difficult to do after giving birth.

    If I can, I will attend at least the ceremony as a guest.

    I would hope any friend or family would be understanding of the situation.
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