1st Trimester

bridesmaid when 9 months pregnant?!

Help! My brother is getting married September 20. He has just put all of us siblings and our significant others in the wedding. Of course we want to stand up there for him on his big day. However, my husband and I just got the amazing news that we are pregnant after 6 months of trying! We are beyond excited! Our estimated due date is September 18. Soooo.... what should I do?! My brother expected me to be pregnant in his wedding, but not full term and due at the same time. The bride has already said every girl can get the dress of her own choice as long as all of the materials are the same (knowing I might be pregnant and growing). Do I just order a dress much larger and hope I can still be there or back out? If I back out, it throws everything off they have planned. I haven't told them yet. I am telling my parents this weekend to get their take on it too. My poor mother will have to decide (maybe) to be at her son's wedding or the birth of her grandchild. Oh the stress!

«13

Re: bridesmaid when 9 months pregnant?!

  • Talk to them and decide together.  If you have a normal, healthy pregnancy and it's a local wedding, you should be ok to participate.

    Oscar born October 2011

    Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)

    DD due September 1, 2014

    BabyFruit Ticker

    augusta17
  • The wedding would be about a 40 minute drive from home and we would be staying in a hotel. They are planning things a little different. My husband and I will both be standing on the groom's side. Its a little nontraditional. The bride has so many girls that they split the wedding party up into being on the side of who you are the friend or relative of. So technically I am a grooms-lady, but will match the bridesmaids. Weird, I know. I guess I will call them this weekend and see what they say! The wedding is also the same day as my nephew and niece's birthdays. Both sides of our family have birthdays at this time. 

  • kdr115kdr115
    10 Comments 25 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    Personally if you were my sister, I would totally understand why you would decline nor would I try to pressure you to be in my wedding party.  If you can be there, awesome, if you can't, would suck but would understand that you are having a baby which is awesome!  I would assume they would be happy for you, and you can make a decision that is best for you and them together.   Best of luck.


    funnibunni80
  • If it were me, I'd plan on going and attending. It sounds like an insanely ridiculous bridal party, but if it means the world to you, go for it. I felt fantastic at 39 weeks and could have easily been in a wedding. 

    If you do end up having the baby and being unable to attend, it's not like they can be all that mad at you. And if they are mad at you, they're even bigger assholes. Balanced bridal parties are not a big deal. If both you and your husband end up bailing...guess what. Still an equal number of people, just switch up the positions. 

    Brides are insane. 
    image

    User Banned You have been banned from posting on the forums until 01-11-2165 8:18 AM. The reason for this ban is Inappropriate Links or Signature. Please return to participate in the forums after the ban has elapsed.
  • I would be honest with them, tell them there's just no way of knowing what things will be like, and ask them what they would like to do. If the couple insists on including you, great-just make sure they know that things may change for you at the very last minute. You can go early, you can go late, you can have an easy pregnancy or a difficult one-the best thing for everyone is to relax and try not to get too caught up in the ways things *have* to be.
    November TTGP Siggy Challenge
    Animals Being Jerks
    image
    ghostof5lettersfunnibunni80
  • So you're either going to be hugely pregnant, have a tiny little new baby, or in active labor during the wedding.  Honestly, I would opt out of that and attend as just a guest if you can.  If you haven't gone into labor yet, do you think you'll be up for standing around for pictures and waking up early to get your hair and makeup done?  The last wedding I was in, my feet were hurting by the end of the pictures and I wasn't pregnant.  
    My SIL is getting married 1 month after my due date, in Hawaii.  You better believe I want to go to that wedding, but realistically, as a FTM, I don't think it's going to happen.  
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    image
    dogperson11Jentech84funnibunni80
  • I would decline.
    Lilypie - (uZTn)Lilypie - (NNJ6)
    July 2013 BMB Siggy Challenge
    image
    NTNP Since August 2014
    ***
    TTC for #3 in January 2016!

    ***
    Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

    Jentech84
  • I'm with @Primrosemama, I would decline. 

    I was *supposed* to be a bridesmaid when I was a little over 8 months pregnant. I declined just in case I went into labor early. I ended up being induced 1 week after the wedding. I was able to attend and helped her with her day, but I know for a fact I would have been miserable trying to be involved with everything to help her. 
    A'13 June Siggy Contest- TV Dads
    image
    PrimRoseMamafunnibunni80aditigirl[Deleted User]
  • Thanks for the advice! I am planning on telling them this weekend and see what they say. I will let them decide. I am not going to feel bad about this at all. I know they will be supportive. I just hope I can somehow make it, but that is all up to Baby!

    ghostof5lettersfunnibunni80
  • I would decline.
    Food Blog

    DS1: BFP: 4/4/2011 | EDD: 12/2/2011 | Born 11/21/2011
    DS2: BFP: 2/23/13 | EDD: 10/26/13 | We said goodbye: 6/2/13 (19w1d) due to pPROM

    image

    Jentech84
  • I'll take "Things That Are Almost Certain to Go Wrong" for $100, Alex. :)

    Seriously, probably not a good idea.  Too many uncertain variables.  What if you deliver early?  Then they're "short" a bridesmaid.  Better they plan now to have someone else.
    Lesbian mommies.  Legally married in New York 5/15/12.  Me (carrier): 35, Wife: 46.
    TTC since 12/12.  Repeated BFNs with known donor from 12/12 through 9/13. 
    Donor decided he couldn't keep helping us in 10/13.
    New known donor in 11/13 - BFP first cycle!  First positive came back on 11/23/13.
    Ultrasound at 10w on 1/8/14 showed no heartbeat and stopped growth at 7w5d.  Actual miscarriage on 1/19/14.

    image
    KUGirl09Jentech84Gigi8212
  • Your due date is too close to the wedding for it to be feasible for you to participate. I am not sure what it will throw off - the sides don't have to have the same number of people. If by some chance you are able to attend, you can be a regular guest and be happy you aren't standing during the ceremony at 9 month pregnant.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
  • I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • I'll take "Things That Are Almost Certain to Go Wrong" for $100, Alex. :)

    Seriously, probably not a good idea.  Too many uncertain variables.  What if you deliver early?  Then they're "short" a bridesmaid.  Better they plan now to have someone else.
    So? We had two flower girls. 2 days before the wedding we found out the dad of one was coming home on leave from a deployment. So we had 1. 

    The world did not end because we had two listed and there was only one. We wanted her to be a part of our day, but something more pressing in her family came up. Shit happens. They don't need someone else.

    image

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers


  • allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    image

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers


    LuckyNumbersGigi8212aditigirl
  • Contrary to popular belief being a bridesmaid is a job, I would decline. You are either going to be very pregnant or recently unpregnant, both situations are not ideal for standing for long periods of time. 
    BFP#1 10/18/12 M/C 10/25/12 BFP#2 12/24/12 EDD 9/2/13 DS born 8/31/13 

    image

    imageimage
  • Contrary to popular belief being a bridesmaid is a job, I would decline. You are either going to be very pregnant or recently unpregnant, both situations are not ideal for standing for long periods of time. 
    MOH is a job. Bridesmaid (which she isn't even that really) shows up for the events. Nothing more. She can help plan if asked or offers.

    image

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers


  • allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.
    BabyFruit Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • That is very close to your due date!

    I am in a wedding in March and will be 7 months pregnant.  I normally wear a size 8 in dresses and ordered my dress in a size 16.  I am getting it altered when we get closer. I would suggest getting something with an empire waist and flowy material if you decide to be in the wedding.

    I am sure they will understand either way!
    imageimage

    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

    BFP #1 7/31/2013- M/C 8/3/2013
    BFP #2 9/18/2013- EDD 5/18/2014
  • allardr said:
    allardr said:
    I say tell them now. You can be involved in the wedding so many other ways! You can plan bridal shower do sweet things like help with brunch the morning of wedding as the girls get ready. You can totally hang with the bridal party day of (all pending not in hospital). However, you may go early and still be recovering so you wouldn't want to cancel last minute. 
    That is more work, not less! What the fuck to this suggestion. 


    Dont care if you like it or not. It's just an option. A bridal shower would be way before the wedding. And as for a brunch, if your not in labor what's it hurt to pick up a fruit platter & some bagels to lounge with the girls while they get dolled up. Not more work IMO but to each their own. I just wouldn't want to be huge in a tight dress in heals for ceremony then pictures, etc.
    In what land is a bridal shower way before a wedding? A couple weeks, maybe a month, in advance is the norm.

    You know what I didn't want to do at 40 weeks pregnant? Run around picking up a bunch of shit for other people to eat, then sit in a waiting chair at a hair salon for 2-3 hours.

    Who said the dress would be tight or the bride would be a bitch and make her wear heels? Oh.

    image

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers


    AmandaJoy7686
  • I'll take "Things That Are Almost Certain to Go Wrong" for $100, Alex. :)

    Seriously, probably not a good idea.  Too many uncertain variables.  What if you deliver early?  Then they're "short" a bridesmaid.  Better they plan now to have someone else.
    So? We had two flower girls. 2 days before the wedding we found out the dad of one was coming home on leave from a deployment. So we had 1. 

    The world did not end because we had two listed and there was only one. We wanted her to be a part of our day, but something more pressing in her family came up. Shit happens. They don't need someone else.

    This.  Life goes on if a bridesmaid doesn't make it.  It isn't like OP is going to hide the fact that she is pregnant.  I have no doubt EVERYONE would understand if she didn't make it to the wedding because she was say, giving birth?

    DS1 - 11/9/12
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    DS2 - 9/2/14  
    image

    Always in our hearts , BFP 5/28/13 - MMC 7/19/13

    [Deleted User]
  • If you let them know now, they can try and find a way to include you without having to rely on you to be part of the wedding party.  That way if you deliver earlier than expected (or are extremely pregnant) you could be there, but not need to worry about all the duties a bridesmaid has.
    image
    Rainbow baby due in September!
    image
    .image
    image 
    May Siggy Challenge - Favorite Onscreen Mom
    image  image
  • One of my bridesmaid, maide of honor, was 9 months and it was all good! She was beautiful and belly ! She got a 10 and usually wears a 2. She brought it to get altered two weeks before the wedding. All worked great. They also carry maternity bridesmaids dresses or can order extra panels or fabric. Go for it and if baby comes then deal with that when it happens two girl could walk one girl.
    SmileyGirl18
  • Two guys can walk one girl down isle is what I meant to say about.
  • I joked with them a couple of months ago that this is how it would work out so I think they might find it humorous. The bride is really cool about letting everyone pick their own dress so I would be able to pick something to go with a BIG belly. I think they will be very understanding if we cannot make it. I think they would only be upset if my water broke during the ceremony! ha ... I don't feel bad about maybe taking something away from their day because my husband and I tried like hell for this baby. I have no clue how I am going to feel, but maybe it would be nice to get pampered? I will report back how they take the news after I tell them this weekend.

  • Also, I was the one throwing her a bridal shower for our side of the family. I am going to pass the torch to someone else for that. I am also throwing a baby shower for my SIL who is having her first baby in June. 

«13
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards