1st Trimester

when do you tell your job?

I'm wondering when you'll all be telling your job you're pregnant. I pretty much don't want to tell anyone right now, but I'm a teacher and I've been needing to go to the bathroom more and I can feel myself getting tired or dizzy throughout the day. On top of that my situation is sticky because I'm a maternity leave position this year. I'd like to either stay home next year with the baby then work full time or get hired now and take maternity leave next year (If they'd hire me back). I was planning on really trying for pregnancy in march so I wouldn't be showing by June, but now I'll definitely be showing then! I guess I'll have to tell them when my stomach starts growing!!  

So when did you or when are you going to tell your jobs that you're pregnant? Also- what's the reasoning behind your decision?
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Re: when do you tell your job?

  • I should clarify: I don't want to tell anyone at work because it might affect my job. I am dying to tell my family and friends as soon as I can.
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  • i told my job right after i had my first OB appt. i did so bc for my first pregnancy i had passed out a few times & if i passed out at work my boss and co workers need to know whats going on. also, bc i work in health care and there are certain procedures pregnant women can not do. good luck!
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  • I am also a teacher. I had to tell my principal at 7 weeks due to I had some spotting that freaked me out since I Mmc in February.

    I just told all the other teachers last week.

    I am 13w today and I am showing. Even w it being bloat people could tell.

    A few of the teachers told me they had a feeling after I told them.

    I am looking for jobs closer to home so will be trying to find a job in the new year so not sure how it is going to go since I will be showing a lot more in a few months.
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



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  • My husband hasn't told work yet but has taken the last two friday's as "work from home days" so he can accompany me to "a follow up to a medical procedure".  (We did IVF and FET so they knew I was having "medical procedures" but didn't know what.)  

    He joked that people at work think we now are having marital problems and Friday's is when we go to couples counseling.  I told him he has to at least tell his boss that we're pregnant and we're going to ultrasounds so she'll understand instead of keep letting people's minds run wild.  

    My work I told flat out because I took ten days off for my IVF cycle and another three for FET so they knew what was going on and were excited to find out as soon as I knew.  It is a double edged sword, I can be a little moody or lazier and they are forgiving...but everyone knowing so early makes me fear m/c and hate being asked non stop how I'm feeling.

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  • @dragonfly711, Do you think you're going to be able to get a job while pregnant? I guess you might have a better shot than I do because you won't need maternity leave, right? I'd need maternity leave next year as my due date is Aug 19. 

    @katib77, I know what you mean. I'm concerned about telling people too soon. DH told his boss bc he needs a day off for an us. Im hoping word doesnt spread.
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  • theteno said:

    @dragonfly711, Do you think you're going to be able to get a job while pregnant? I guess you might have a better shot than I do because you won't need maternity leave, right? I'd need maternity leave next year as my due date is Aug 19. 


    @katib77, I know what you mean. I'm concerned about telling people too soon. DH told his boss bc he needs a day off for an us. Im hoping word doesnt spread.
    @theteno

    I am not sure how they will be when I look for a new job. They might be like no way just because I have a newborn at home. Never know with jobs now a days. I am due June 19. I get out of school June 6 so I will not need extra time.

    I am so hoping they don't judge because I have a newborn.
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



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  • Good Luck! I don't know what state you're in. I know in NJ it's so hard to get jobs to begin with. My only hope is that this school district likes me enough to hire me permanently even though I'll need maternity leave. Highly unlikely, but here's hoping. If not, I'll have to find some way to work from home. I have no idea where to start. 
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  • I told my boss after my first OB appointment because back in May I had a miscarriage. I wanted to be upfront with her about what was going on because I didn't want her to think I was just making excuses to leave work. My son has a few health issues with his kidneys and I have had to run him to the doctor a bit this year. So, I just wanted her to be aware of what was going on with me.

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    PenelopeSnuz77
  • My husband and I discussed with our boss (we work together for the same company) about our plans to start a family and made sure my job would be secure before, during, and after pregnancy.  He is a big family man and has like 4 kids so he understood the importance of job security when raising a family.  
    With that being said, I don't have as much worry as to when we tell him, so we are waiting until after the first trimester like we are for everyone else.

    I'm sorry you're in a situation where your job could be jeopardized. There should seriously be a federal law against work discrimination against pregnant women.
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  • JLKinnearJLKinnear
    Sixth Anniversary 1000 Comments
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    edited December 2013
    I plan on telling my work after my first prenatal appointment, when I have a solid due date. I'm a nurse and plan on working up until my very last week, to use most of my maternity leave for after baby is born.

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  • theteno said:
    Good Luck! I don't know what state you're in. I know in NJ it's so hard to get jobs to begin with. My only hope is that this school district likes me enough to hire me permanently even though I'll need maternity leave. Highly unlikely, but here's hoping. If not, I'll have to find some way to work from home. I have no idea where to start. 
    @theteno

    Oh it is hard here, I am in NY.  So hard to find a teaching job, they want you to have experience, I am getting that but still so hard to get into the public schools, I am in a private school.  It is a good job but I am an assistant teacher but I teach and do everything the teacher does but I dont get the teacher salary!!!

    I changed careers hoping to get more $$$ well that didnt happen just more in debt due to student loans.
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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • My husband and I discussed with our boss (we work together for the same company) about our plans to start a family and made sure my job would be secure before, during, and after pregnancy.  He is a big family man and has like 4 kids so he understood the importance of job security when raising a family.  
    With that being said, I don't have as much worry as to when we tell him, so we are waiting until after the first trimester like we are for everyone else.

    I'm sorry you're in a situation where your job could be jeopardized. There should seriously be a federal law against work discrimination against pregnant women.
    There is a federal law against work discrimination against pregnant women in the United States.  It's just hard to prove, unless an employer tells you they are firing you, not hiring you, or penalizing you for being pregnant.  The employer could say it's for a number of other reasons. 
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  • I had planned to wait until 12-15 weeks...but I was SOOO sick, often at work or calling into work so I ended up telling my boss at 8 weeks and co-workers (and the general public) by 10 weeks after a "good" ultrasound. 
  • I'm fully expecting to not get a promotion I was a shoo in for as soon as the overseeing manager finds out I'm pregnant because the team that would be working under me cannot function without a strong leader.

    It sucks, but these people also have to run a business when you are gone. I'm taking 6 months maternity leave and understand how long that is!
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  • @dragonfly711, Similar here. I worked in private school a few years and went back for my masters looking for public school. Unfortunately only got maternity leave position, so now I'm not sure what I'll be able to do for next year. The people like me and are trying to help me find something even if in a nearby district, which is nice, but no one is going to want me to start a job on maternity leave as I'll have to take mat leave until Nov. Not sure how this is going to work out. Good luck to you in your search!

    Thanks to all posters! I'm learning it's all kind of up to your unique situation. I'm pretty bloated right now already and look like I'm showing. I try to hide it, but my stomach really stands out after lunch. I'm not eating very much either, just small meals throughout the day when I'm hungry. So I'm not sure when I'll have to spread the word. I'm going to wait as long as possible, though. At least in another week I have winter break until Jan. so I can at least prolong it until then. Won't have an ultrasound until Jan. 20 though because that's when I have a day off. 

    Anyway my point was, THANK YOU for your responses! 
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  • theteno said:

    @dragonfly711, Similar here. I worked in private school a few years and went back for my masters looking for public school. Unfortunately only got maternity leave position, so now I'm not sure what I'll be able to do for next year. The people like me and are trying to help me find something even if in a nearby district, which is nice, but no one is going to want me to start a job on maternity leave as I'll have to take mat leave until Nov. Not sure how this is going to work out. Good luck to you in your search!


    Thanks to all posters! I'm learning it's all kind of up to your unique situation. I'm pretty bloated right now already and look like I'm showing. I try to hide it, but my stomach really stands out after lunch. I'm not eating very much either, just small meals throughout the day when I'm hungry. So I'm not sure when I'll have to spread the word. I'm going to wait as long as possible, though. At least in another week I have winter break until Jan. so I can at least prolong it until then. Won't have an ultrasound until Jan. 20 though because that's when I have a day off. 

    Anyway my point was, THANK YOU for your responses! 
    @theteno
    Yeah it stinks doesn't it. I am going back in September but I know any new job is going to look at me and say oh no she has a newborn home and will just skip right over me. So frustrating. Good luck to you!!!

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    Me (40) DH (42).......Married 7/1/11......TTC 12/2013.......BFP #1 12/30/12........EDD 9/8/13
    Spotting,clot 2/15/13 all ok......2/21/13 no heartbeat 11 w 4 d missed miscarriage........2/22/13 DnC :(
    BFP # 2 10.10.13...........EDD 6.19.14



      Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

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  • I'm Speech therapist in an elementary school.  During my last pregnancy the policy was to let the Superintendent's Office know by 16 weeks of pregnancy. A lot of people I have worked with have told at 13 weeks typically.  I think it just depends on your situation.  Best wishes. 
  • News leaked out from people that said they would keep quiet at my work.....I was 13 weeks. Now, in case something health wise happens to me, at least people know I'm pregnant!
  • I was going to aim for 12 weeks depending on how much I'm showing. I'm really bloated right now and one coworker asked if I was pregnant. I laughed and said no I'm just getting fat. oiy.
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  • People should know better than to ask.  That is so inappropriate - especially from a co-worker.
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    theteno
  • I told my principal at 7 weeks because I was getting sick at school.

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  • While I finish up school, I work as a server at Texas Roadhouse. I wanted to wait and tell my managers and co-workers until I was at least 13 weeks. However, I've had extremely painful cramps on and off throughout this last week and it became obvious really quick that something was wrong with me. I was constantly grabbing my lower abdomen because it hurt so bad. On top of that, when I picked up a large heavy tray the cramps got worst. I decided at that point I should probably tell my managers to avoiding lifting heavy things such as ice buckets, large tea containers, and heavy trays. Then I realized, if I wasn't doing those things my co-workers would view me as a slacker and get on me about not pulling my weight. So to avoid conflict I ended up telling everyone at work. It's probably for the best though. I have a very fast paced and physically demanding job, I don't want to cause any complications because I'm trying to cover up my pregnancy. Fortunately, my managers and co-workers are all extremely supportive, helpful, and understanding, which takes a huge weight off my shoulders.
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  • I'm planning to tell my boss after the first ultrasound in January. Last pregnancy I had to take some time off due to extreme exhaustion and nausea during the first trimester, so I want her to be prepared and also to expect me being gone for doctor visits once a month. We are also in transition with a new boss expected to start right around my due date in August, so I think putting it out there is a good thing as early as I am comfortable.
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  • theteno said:
    Good Luck! I don't know what state you're in. I know in NJ it's so hard to get jobs to begin with. My only hope is that this school district likes me enough to hire me permanently even though I'll need maternity leave. Highly unlikely, but here's hoping. If not, I'll have to find some way to work from home. I have no idea where to start. 
    If you're planning to "work from home" while also caring for your child, I'd suggest you rethink that plan.  Caring for an infant is a full-time job and it's extremely difficult to work and care for your baby simultaneously, especially when the baby starts moving around or if your baby is fussy or naps irregularly.  I'm sure the ladies on the Working Mothers board could offer some additional perspective as well as suggestions.

    theteno
  • I told my doctor  about 3 weeks ago. So when i was 5 weeks pregnant, but i also work fast food, and there is some heavy lifting, so i thought they should know. 
  • I probably won't be able to hide it when I return from Xmas break mid January. I'll let everyone go through the pain of asking... Haha. And I'll look at them straight in the eye with a sad puppy look and say "no. Did I eat too much this break?" Enjoy reaction...And then tell them.
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  • @theteno

    WOW, I am in the same exact boat as you are! I am a teacher, filling in for full year maternity leave. I am planning on telling after the holiday break, and perhaps after my next appointment (provided I don't "pop" over break). I feel like it is a very sensitive situation though because I would love to continue teaching at this school next year. It is also difficult to find jobs in PA and I don't want them to overlook me because I am pregnant. The difference is that I'm due a month earlier than you and may need less maternity leave. I hope all goes well and that you are given the job despite the fact that you'll have a little one next year! Keep us updated!


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  • Even though I am only almost four weeks I told work cause people were already spectating and I didn't want  the stress of different crazy wild stories going around the building cause I had left early a couple times from puking and being dizzy

  • emotionlotionemotionlotion
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    edited December 2013
    I have a very physically demanding job, so I would have told them at around 8 weeks but due to an unrelated injury I was on desk duty up until about 12 weeks so I just told them when I was back to my full job. We wanted to wait until we had told our families.

    I am not one to think we are delicate flowers when pregnant (unless there are complications of course) so I've had to reassure them that I will ask for help when needed and that I have told my doc the demands of my job. She has no problem with the heavy lifting I do. But there are some items I have to lift that are 85 lbs and dense, so I'm asking help with those.

    I'm going to have to start training replacements as my job is specialized and my husband and I have decided that most likely I'll not work for a little while. I will be in every way the primary caregiver for the next 3 or more years due to his 100 hour average work weeks at the hospital so doing 40 hours at my retail job just to pay for daycare does not make sense. It's going to be so weird to not be working, I've been working since I was 14 and I'm 32 now. (not a dig at SAHM's since obvs I'll be one, that is work too, just different then literally going to work daily for a paycheck).

    Edited for autocorrect errors
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  • @nkewool, And good luck to you! I know what you mean about possibly not being able to hide it... although my "bump" is bloating, not baby yet. I guess we'll see!! 
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