UGH! I've gained too much weight!!! Help! (Lengthy sorry)

jshrop

Okay, this is a mostly superficial post and I'm sorry for that upfront. It is in no way intended to offend or put anyone off (I just want to be clear because I know weight topics can be touchy).

So, about 5 years ago I weighed in close to 200 lbs (like a hairs breath away). My DH and I decided to do P90X to lose weight and get in shape. Over about a 5 month period I lost a significant amount of weight and dropped to 138. I felt great. I was able to hold onto the weight loss for about 3 years until the lbs started slowly creeping back on. My pre-pregnancy weight was about 148-150 lbs (I'm 5'8" btw). This pregnancy was completely unplanned and a HUGE surprise to us. We never intended to have kids, but now that we're pregnant we are beyond thrilled and excited for the next adventure.

Here's my conundrum. I weighed in at the OBs office yesterday at 169 lbs. I am 14w4d pregnant. For nearly the entire first trimester I didn't move much because I was constantly nauseous and exhausted. Not to mention the only foods I could seem to tolerate were carbs and candy. Now that I have more energy I'm trying to ease myself back into the gym and make healthier food choices.  I'm concerned about the amount of weight I've gained and how quickly I've put it on as well as how difficult it will be to take off later. (This is a complete side note, but DH is in the best shape of his life due to his job and he looks fantastic. I feel like a blob next to him. He doesn't care but I do!) The OB said "better to gain than not" but I don't want to end up with gestational diabetes or have any adverse effects on the little bean. I know its not advised to LOSE weight while pregnant but does anyone have any tips for me? Or is it just suck it up and deal?  Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance!!!

nunzchucks

I think it is so amazing that you really made a lifestyle change and lost all that weight. It must have been really hard!


Try not to beat yourself up too much. If your OB isn't concerned, there is no need to worry. That said, just because you didn't eat well yesterday, doesn't mean you can't eat well today. Put the past in the past and make a better choice going forward.

rmjones15

I had a similar experience…we got married in August so I was following a really strict low carb diet and running and doing weights every day. After I got pregnant I only seemed to want soup and bagels, and my weight shot up about 8 pounds. My OB seemed to think it was fairly normal given the huge change in diet and activity. I was still really concerned and he gave me a sample diet plan to follow, which has helped me stay the same weight for about 7-8 weeks now. I told him I was so concerned about repeating massive weight gain (almost 70 pounds) like I did last pregnancy and he told me that some women gain the normal amount of weight, some gain more, some don't gain enough. He stressed that as long as I am following a balanced diet and exercising that I shouldn't worry about it too much. 

You could ask your doctor for just a diet guideline. Mine doesn't have calories or anything, but just how many fruits, veggies, proteins, carbs, etc to have every day. That might make you at least feel better!

Kinipela7

I'm sorry you are feeling this way!  I think most women find it mentally hard to gain weight during pregnancy whether they admit it or not.  I was talking to my doctor at my last appointment about my weight gain and she said to cut out the empty calories (most of the time, occasional treats are fine) and exercise.  I posted about my weight gain here a few weeks ago, and someone had said to eat healthy snacks and to exercise.  It makes a world of difference how I feel.  I realized that I WAS eating too much crap and I instantly felt better went I went for fruits and veggies instead.  Even though I'm still gaining, I feel MUCH better about myself.  You took the weight off before (awesome!) and you will do it again when the baby is here! 

Before this pregnancy I had a loss and gained about 10 lbs after the surgery, then got pregnant right away again so didn't have time to lose any of it.  When I started this pregnancy, I weight 4 lbs less than DH.  DH is 6 feet tall and I'm 5'5 - talk about feeling gross next to him!  Just want to let you know that you are not alone!

Shellann1

I gained a ton during the first tri and now that I'm entering my 2nd. It seems to have stopped for a bit. Make the best choice you can at the time (all you can picture eating and holding down is a mars bar? Go for it. When you feel better eat better

Congrats on the awesome lifestyle change to you two?!!

xnbride

First trimester weight gain is helping to build up your maternal fat stores which is very beneficial for all sorts of reasons. Just listen to  your body. If it is telling you to eat, then eat. Everything in moderation.  Maybe for your body type, you were a little too thin and now your body is compensating with a more rapid weight gain in the beginning.  During my pregnancies in which I was admittedly a little too thin (with Ds1-and DS2) I gained 10lbs in the first tri and only 30 total.  With DS3 and with this pregnancy I have only gained 5lbs and it is because I started out at a more normal weight and that was not for lack of eating. Focus on high protein diet with lots of fruits and veggies and take it easy on yourself. You are growing a new life. That is a lot of work!

jshrop

rmjones15 said:

You could ask your doctor for just a diet guideline. Mine doesn't have calories or anything, but just how many fruits, veggies, proteins, carbs, etc to have every day. That might make you at least feel better!

Thanks! I love my OBs office, but sometimes I think the Doc herself is a little bit of a flake lol. I asked her for some guidelines and she said buy the book "what to eat when you're expecting." This was after I asked her some other questions and she said "you can read more about that on-line or in this __ book" rather than answering me directly. Thankfully I typically only deal with the nurse practitioner. That's why I turned to you ladies. 'm a FTM (probably ONLY time mom lol) and all of my family and girlfriends live 14+ hours away. My one friend says "eat what you want, you're allowed to get fat while you're pregnant" but that's really not my goal lol.

k2k2tog

Was this the first time you got weighed at the OB's office? If so, you'll definitely want to weigh yourself on your own scale to get a bit of a better picture of how much you've actually put on. The scale my OB uses was a very well-worn bathroom scale that told my I had put on 12 pounds already. I didn't trust it, weighed myself at home, and only got a 6 pound difference from my pre-pregnancy weight. Every scale needs to be balanced properly, and if your OB hasn't done so in a long time, it could be very inaccurate. 

That said, if you're feeling blobbish, that's a bigger problem than actually putting on too much weight. Pregnancy is already terribly lacking in glamour in my experience and feeling fat is one of the worst things. My tips? Focus on eating healthy - lots of fruits and veggies, to balance your carb intake. And, get moving, as much as you can. Don't do P90X or anything, but start smaller. Go for a walk. I work this in by walking to the places I need to get to rather than taking other forms of transportation. Do you have access to a pool or a gym? You can workout during pregnancy, just not as hard as you likely did five years ago. 

In some ways, you are going to have to 'suck it up and deal' because you are going to gain weight, but there is a healthy way to do it that will help in getting the weight off afterwards. You don't have to be helpless! Just focus on taking care of yourself and you'll come out alright.

jshrop

sempre_staccato said:

Was this the first time you got weighed at the OB's office? 

Nah, I get weighed once a month since I started there. I was 7 weeks at the 1st appt and was 155. So I'm up 14 lbs in 7 weeks. I do have a scale at home that I try to monitor myself on, but I also try not to obsess too much. I have access to a great gym and a pool on the base where my husband is stationed. I'm a little leery of the pool (some of those guys are just gah-ross lol) and DH didn't want me to get in it (if he thinks it's gross it has to be bad). DH is a really fit guy but didn't want to give me workout tips because he wasn't sure what would be safe and what wouldn't. We are both entirely clueless about this whole pregnancy thing and we are TERRIFIED of the baby that's going to follow lol. Like I said, neither one of us expected we'd have a kiddo, but apparently fate had other plans.

My go-to workouts prior to pregnancy were running and weight lifting. I went to the gym the other day to workout. I did some light weights and walked on the treadmill. My OB said not to get my HR above 120s? So that concerned me about doing any cardio. 

jshrop

lalala8 said:

Some women seem to gain a lot during first tri for whatever reason. Rapid weight gain can be a sign of GD, but it can also just be the way your body reacts to pregnancy.

My cousin gains 60-70 lbs with her pregnancies and loses it all within a few months with minimal effort.  It really is just what pregnancy does to her.

I gained 35 with DD, but it took me 6 months to lose even with diet and exercise.

Every person and every pregnancy is just so very different. I know it's hard to not compare yourself.

Ugh! So hard not to compare!! Especially when you see this celeb-bitches losing all their baby weight in like 3 days lol. Just makes me put a little unreal expectation on myself. I know that isn't feasible. I just keep hearing Jenny McCarthy's voice in my head say "I was shocked when I gave birth and it wasn't a 60lb baby! Where did all that extra weight come from?" lol

jshrop

Quite possibly the problem is I just want to WHINE a little about it too lol. Boo Hoo, my ass is getting bigger by the minute 

MississippiCatfish

I gained 45 in my last pregnancy and so far my weight gain in similar - 5 pounds in first tri. I'm pretty sure I gained another 25 in 2nd and 15 in 3rd. Everybody puts it on differently. I agree that if you're dr isn't concerned, then you should put yourself at ease a little. Maybe your body needs a little extra Cush right off the bat to sustain the baby, but the weight gain will slow down a little.

ksyknelvr73

I think what you are doing now is really good - trying to eat better and easing back into exercise. Maybe make a meal plan for 2 weeks at a time, and grocery shop based on that, and try to keep the junk food to a minimum? That is what my plan is. I gained 10 lbs in 1st tri and I've actually lost a little now in 2nd tri (just a couple) b/c I've gotten better about my food. First tri I had zero morning sickness and I was STARVING all the time so I ate everything in sight. And I didn't exercise b/c I was exhausted. Now that I have my energy back, I want to get my exercise back too - I have a good bit of pregnancy exercise DVD's, maybe you can look into that as well?

MollySm

It sounds like you have the right idea, it just might not be so easy to put into practice. No dieting, but switching to healthy, balanced meals and snacks is never a bad idea. I find eating smaller meals nore often works best for me during pregnancy. Adding in walking or other forms of exercise is also great for your pregnancy as long as you don't push too hard.

As for the body changes, it's totally normal to find them difficult, especially if you have struggled with your weight in the past. Try and remember that your body needs to gain some weight to be healthy for the baby, especially if you were underweight to start with, which it sounds like you were. With my daughter I found the body changes easier once I started looking pregnant and feeling my daughter move around.

lellymine

lalala8 said:

jshrop said:

lalala8 said:

Some women seem to gain a lot during first tri for whatever reason. Rapid weight gain can be a sign of GD, but it can also just be the way your body reacts to pregnancy.

My cousin gains 60-70 lbs with her pregnancies and loses it all within a few months with minimal effort.  It really is just what pregnancy does to her.

I gained 35 with DD, but it took me 6 months to lose even with diet and exercise.

Every person and every pregnancy is just so very different. I know it's hard to not compare yourself.

Ugh! So hard not to compare!! Especially when you see this celeb-bitches losing all their baby weight in like 3 days lol. Just makes me put a little unreal expectation on myself. I know that isn't feasible. I just keep hearing Jenny McCarthy's voice in my head say "I was shocked when I gave birth and it wasn't a 60lb baby! Where did all that extra weight come from?" lol

I swear, the celebrities are all getting lipo in the hospital after they deliver!  Obviously some women do bounce right back, but it seems like ALL of them do! Most women look pregnant when they leave the hospital and for a few weeks afterward- Hell, even Kate Middleton had a bump after baby.  

Or a mini tummy tuck. I know a girl who had that done immediately after the baby was delivered and a few days after she didn't even look like she's had a baby

jshrop

lellymine said:

jshrop said:

lalala8 said:

Some women seem to gain a lot during first tri for whatever reason. Rapid weight gain can be a sign of GD, but it can also just be the way your body reacts to pregnancy.

My cousin gains 60-70 lbs with her pregnancies and loses it all within a few months with minimal effort.  It really is just what pregnancy does to her.

I gained 35 with DD, but it took me 6 months to lose even with diet and exercise.

Every person and every pregnancy is just so very different. I know it's hard to not compare yourself.

Ugh! So hard not to compare!! Especially when you see this celeb-bitches losing all their baby weight in like 3 days lol. Just makes me put a little unreal expectation on myself. I know that isn't feasible. I just keep hearing Jenny McCarthy's voice in my head say "I was shocked when I gave birth and it wasn't a 60lb baby! Where did all that extra weight come from?" lol

I swear, the celebrities are all getting lipo in the hospital after they deliver!  Obviously some women do bounce right back, but it seems like ALL of them do! Most women look pregnant when they leave the hospital and for a few weeks afterward- Hell, even Kate Middleton had a bump after baby.  

Or a mini tummy tuck. I know a girl who had that done immediately after the baby was delivered and a few days after she didn't even look like she's had a baby

WHAT???!! That is CRAZY! (and how do I get DH to agree to this lol)

Pepper6

jshrop said:

sempre_staccato said:

Was this the first time you got weighed at the OB's office? 

Nah, I get weighed once a month since I started there. I was 7 weeks at the 1st appt and was 155. So I'm up 14 lbs in 7 weeks. I do have a scale at home that I try to monitor myself on, but I also try not to obsess too much. I have access to a great gym and a pool on the base where my husband is stationed. I'm a little leery of the pool (some of those guys are just gah-ross lol) and DH didn't want me to get in it (if he thinks it's gross it has to be bad). DH is a really fit guy but didn't want to give me workout tips because he wasn't sure what would be safe and what wouldn't. We are both entirely clueless about this whole pregnancy thing and we are TERRIFIED of the baby that's going to follow lol. Like I said, neither one of us expected we'd have a kiddo, but apparently fate had other plans.

My go-to workouts prior to pregnancy were running and weight lifting. I went to the gym the other day to workout. I did some light weights and walked on the treadmill. My OB said not to get my HR above 120s? So that concerned me about doing any cardio. 

From what I've read, the 140 HR is very outdated.  If you were doing it regularly before you got pregnant, you are probably safe to do it while you are pregnant.  Just don't push your limits as hard.  As long as you can still talk while doing cardio, your HR is probably fine.  For weights, I wouldn't increase anything, but I don't think you need to decrease anything, just listen to your body.  The only thing you really need to be careful with is ab workouts, I've heard no sit--up style workouts, but plank-style are still good (and actually beneficial to keep up your core workout as you'll be supporting a lot more weight in your middle in the next few months).  Obviously, please check with your doctor before doing any of this, this info is strictly based on what I've read and heard other pregnant women suggest...

ElTrain5

Keep in mind as well, you are at a huge advantage going into pregnancy in good shape, and having decent muscle tone.  That will really help you to bounce back after you deliver.  I'm all flub and can only hope to return to "pre-pregnancy flub" status.

lellymine

jshrop said:

Or a mini tummy tuck. I know a girl who had that done immediately after the baby was delivered and a few days after she didn't even look like she's had a baby

WHAT???!! That is CRAZY! (and how do I get DH to agree to this lol)

My dr says it's actually pretty dangerous because you're still swollen from the baby and your uterus is very stretched out. She heard of a woman that was unable to carry a baby past 5 months because they stitched her uterus too tightly and it would expand. She refuses to do them now

LegalLadyBug

Is your prepregnancy and now weight based on the same scale? I think I'm confused because you said you were nauseated and not eating and now have gained 20lbs...in only a few weeks?

As you get further along and baby squishes your insides you won't be able to eat a lot, so it may balance out in the end. Honestly though, as long as GD is ruled out you should be fine. My mom gained like 45lbs with me and only 15lbs with my little sister, carried us both full term, and my sister weighed 1.5lbs more at birth than I did.

jshrop

LegalLadyBug said:

Is your prepregnancy and now weight based on the same scale? I think I'm confused because you said you were nauseated and not eating and now have gained 20lbs...in only a few weeks? As you get further along and baby squishes your insides you won't be able to eat a lot, so it may balance out in the end. Honestly though, as long as GD is ruled out you should be fine. My mom gained like 45lbs with me and only 15lbs with my little sister, carried us both full term, and my sister weighed 1.5lbs more at birth than I did.

I was nauseous but the only things I really could eat were mac and cheese, poptarts, and sour candy. Hence the 20 lbs lol. I wouldn't have normally eaten these types of foods before I was pregnant. 

JNerd

When I freak out about gaining weight one of the big things my husband tells me is that awareness is one of the biggest factors in making healthy choices. Those healthy choices will factor in huge.

The body gain what it needs to gain for baby - and that is something that you have to be okay with.

The big thing is you have lost the weight before and you can do it again. You know it takes hard work and choices but it can happen.

as for how you feel while pregnant- one of the things I can say is it does get better when you get a bump that actually looks like a bump - then you look pregnant not fat- and that really helps.

I really second what others have said-try to make pregnancy an excuse to be your healthiest and listen to/respect your body. That is the best you can do.

TheMrs820

Wow I didn't realize how many others were going through this. I am 5'1" and weighed in at the docs yesterday at 166lbs. I feel enormous!

I have struggled with my weight got the last 5 years or so. Right before I got pregnant DH & I committed to get healthy we started crossfit & eating better. Lately I just feel like I have thrown it all out the window.

Now I am crying at my desk damn hormones. Anyway all you ladies have made me feel a little better & I hope u all do too!

ncbelle

Don't focus so much on the number.  Focus on making good food choices moving ahead (no one can blame you for eating to make yourself feel less sick!) and stay as active as you can.  The 140 heart rate rule is definitely dated information.  It's fine to do your pre-pregnancy activities as long as you listen to your body and start to slow it down.  You shouldn't get so winded that you can't carry on a conversation - but for me I would be WELL above 140 before that happened!

lellymine

I've worried a lot about gaining weight during pregnancy but my friend said your body will gain what it needs to. She gains 63 pounds exactly with every pregnancy and her sister gains 70 but they both eat well during pregnancy and work out so they lose it relatively quickly after. It's just the weight they need to gain. Maybe it's just water retention.

jesus4life2

I am SUPER skinny. Like---I struggle to put on weight...and I probably should weight more than I do. I promise--I have a point...

With my son, my pre-pregnancy weight was about 115 and I am 5' 7". I gained 23 pounds during my pregnancy---none of this is ANYTHING I am proud of because honestly---I ate everything in sight and just cannot gain weight on purpose if I try. Still making a point...

When my son was born, I breast-fed him for 4 months before I had to start supplementing with formula. I was really sad about it because I really aimed for a year. While I did make it 10 months breastfeeding (and supplementing)---it was a CHALLENGE to keep my milk going. I was taking 12 supplement pills a day, started drinking beer (which I don't like because it is supposed to boost your milk supply, etc.) At this point, I weighed as low as 109---my body just did not have enough in it to provide calories to make milk for him. 

My point is: I know there are reasons to consider weight-gain during pregnancy BUT if it is a superficial thing and safety is not a concern, just remind yourself that you are a momma bear storing up milk for the winter. Breastfeeding SERIOUSLY sucks the life out of you. You will drop pounds in a snap if you breastfeed. No matter how much you weigh---all of us girls have insecurities about our bodies. But right now our bodies are being shared with a precious thing that needs the extra calories. You are being a good momma, that's all! 

MississippiCatfish

lellymine said:

lalala8 said:

jshrop said:

lalala8 said:

Some women seem to gain a lot during first tri for whatever reason. Rapid weight gain can be a sign of GD, but it can also just be the way your body reacts to pregnancy.

My cousin gains 60-70 lbs with her pregnancies and loses it all within a few months with minimal effort.  It really is just what pregnancy does to her.

I gained 35 with DD, but it took me 6 months to lose even with diet and exercise.

Every person and every pregnancy is just so very different. I know it's hard to not compare yourself.

Ugh! So hard not to compare!! Especially when you see this celeb-bitches losing all their baby weight in like 3 days lol. Just makes me put a little unreal expectation on myself. I know that isn't feasible. I just keep hearing Jenny McCarthy's voice in my head say "I was shocked when I gave birth and it wasn't a 60lb baby! Where did all that extra weight come from?" lol

I swear, the celebrities are all getting lipo in the hospital after they deliver!  Obviously some women do bounce right back, but it seems like ALL of them do! Most women look pregnant when they leave the hospital and for a few weeks afterward- Hell, even Kate Middleton had a bump after baby.  

Or a mini tummy tuck. I know a girl who had that done immediately after the baby was delivered and a few days after she didn't even look like she's had a baby



I've heard that it's really common with c-sections. Like, really common.

skyview222

I can relate on a smaller scale.  I was getting into a good groove with exercising 30 min a day, 5 days a week.  Then when I got pregnant, fatigue and m/s abruptly stopped that.  I want a fit pregnancy not a fat one and first tri left me feeling like that was so far away.  I am starting to feel like that is turning around now. 

On a side note, completing P90X is a huge accomplishment as is your results.
I made it to P14X before I gave up. 

jshrop

skyview222 said:

On a side note, completing P90X is a huge accomplishment as is your results.
I made it to P14X before I gave up. 

This just made me lol so hard!!! I finished P90X but then tried insanity. made it like 3 days (maybe??!!) before i threw in the towel lol

Mrs_D_in_KY

With my son I was on the petite side at about 130 lbs at 5 ft tall. I gained 50 lbs by time I delivered him, and yes my doctor was very concerned with my weight gain. If the doctor isn't concerned, then you don't need to be. I dealt with a lot of weight shaming by my old doctors and nurses (totally new practice this time) and I never had gestational diabetes or anything.

And I am weird because when I BFed for a year, I didn't drop all of the weight like everyone says you will. It's like my body held on to the fat to help me produce milk. Once I dried up I lost probably another 10 lbs.