Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Tantrums at 11 months?

Okay, I won't make this long. The title says it all. My daughter has been a little clingy (more than ever. I only noticed it because she is not one to want to be held or touched or bothered). Every time me or my husband put her down or don't pick her up she just throws herself on the floor and starts crying. I'll be honest, at first we found it a little funny because she is so tiny and we've never seen a kid this young throw a tantrum but now.. I'm a little concerned.

 

Is it too early?
What do I do? She doesn't know what right or wrong is right?
Do not want to spank her yet since if she doesn't know what right or wrong is.

 

Any help will be great

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Re: Tantrums at 11 months?

  • Definitely do not spank your 11 month old! That would not be appropriate at all! And my 10 month old has been throwing tantrums for a while. When we take something away, when we put her down and she doens't want us to, when we let the puppies out and don't take her out also, etc...

    My guess is though if this is new for your LO and only when you are putting her down its probably separtion anxiety or possibly not feeling well? DD has always been clingy and if she is even slightly hungry or tired there isn't a chance of setting her down and its hit or miss otherwise. Main thing we do is try and distract her with something (often a non-toy works best - DH's watch, a spatula, a random wooden figurine, a pool noodle, etc...) or we just suck it up and hold her unless we really can't. Then she cries for a few minutes and we comfort her as soon as we can. Like earlier today when I had to get the fish going for lunch. Couldn't mess with raw fish while holding her so she cried while I preped it and got it into the pan and washed my hands and then I held her while cooking it.

     

    If your daughter is not normally clingy though I would take it as a sign that she needs additional comfort for some reason and do what you can to provide it. I'd also be looking for signs of her being sick/in pain (ear infection, teething, etc...) Babies don't get clingy just to be annoying, they get clingy cause they need comfort. I'm sure its just a phase.

  • It sounds more clinginess to me than tantrums?

    DS started throwing tantrums when he hit 11 months - happens when he can't get his way, eg, take away his toy b/c we are leaving the house, stop him from pushing a chair around b/c he was running over other kids etc.  

    He'll throw himself on the floor and cry and cry and cry.  I've tried redirect and distraction, sometimes it works but a lot of times it doesn't.  If I pick him up, he'll kick me with his legs and wriggle so hard that I might drop him.  In the end, I just let him be and not pay him attention.  He stops after 5 minutes or so.
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  • This is all normal. I was surprised when DS started it before 1. Think about it, they can't speak or communicate what they want so they get frustrated very easily.

    Um...spanking? Really? I'm sure that comment will get some great responses.

    :(

     

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    [Deleted User]DCKate
  • It's already been said but I'm going to reiterate... don't spank and freakin eleven month old. Seriously. I don't know people even think about that. She can't speak yet to tell you what is wrong so she throws fits when things happen that she doesn't like. That's it. Don't punish an infant because they can't yet express themselves to your standards.
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  • My son has tantrums all the time! The kind where he gets so mad that he'll hold his breath and throw himself back and just scream; it is usually because we've taken our phone or something else cool away from him. At this point I try to re-direct, but if that doesn't work I've started to let him just cry it out. It seems to be pretty effective and he stops within 5 minutes now where as before he could go on until he would vomit (no joke). I will only do it if I'm positive that he's upset because he wants something he can't have...not because he's wet, tired or hungry. 

    Our LO's are way too tiny to really get discipline and they can't talk so really its just another method of communication as PP have already said.
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  • This is an age where they become extreme attached to their parents and gain a fear of strangers. It is totally normal for them to throw little fits, because they are gaining independence but cannot express what they want or don't want. There is not much discipline you can do, I wouldn't do any at all. You can start saying "no" but they aren't going to understand it. It's just preparing them for when they can actually understand the word.
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  • My son was throwing amazing tantrums at 11 months old and he still is. At 17 months he is starting to understand things a bit more but is still not to the point where I can fully discipline him. Please do not spank your 11 month old. You will only do damage and hurt your relationship with her. 

    You simply need to be patient and understand that she is not able to explain what she wants/needs and is completely at your mercy for having her needs and wants filled. Sometimes as adults we don't get just how frustrating life can be for a little one who is completely dependent on us for everything, and who doesn't understand why we don't give them what they want or need.
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  • I liked the technique I saw on America's Supernanny (yes, I'm an avid watcher!).  A mom was dealing with a super-clingy little girl (12 months, maybe?), and the mom was taught to peel the kiddo off of her, move her to the side, and tell her in an upbeat voice, "You're ok.  You're ok," then move away and continue with what she needed to do.  I'm doing this even with my 10-month-old, and it's working well.  He cries or yells for a minute because he's not getting his way, but he is learning more and more to distract himself with a toy or crawling around.
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  • TheEditor said:
    I liked the technique I saw on America's Supernanny (yes, I'm an avid watcher!).  A mom was dealing with a super-clingy little girl (12 months, maybe?), and the mom was taught to peel the kiddo off of her, move her to the side, and tell her in an upbeat voice, "You're ok.  You're ok," then move away and continue with what she needed to do.  I'm doing this even with my 10-month-old, and it's working well.  He cries or yells for a minute because he's not getting his way, but he is learning more and more to distract himself with a toy or crawling around.
    I absolutely love Supernanny. I think there is a huge amount of useful techniques and tricks on that show.

     

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  • DD had tantrums for a couple weeks [she hasn't had one in about a week, she's 10.5 now] but I would lay her on the floor, tell her she's alright then pretty much ignore her until she calmed down. As soon as she was calm I went back to her and continued our activity.
  • DD has been throwing them since she was like 8 months. Yeah, I'm terrified for the terrible 2s.
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  • Clearly some of these people misread that you DON'T want to spank your baby. But I do agree that redirecting is probably the best bet. My DD cries about half the time I put her down, so I give her whichever toy is close by to play with. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. But I always explain to her, "Mommy can't hold you right now. I have to … I will be back to play/cuddle with you in a few minutes." She may not understand what I'm saying, but she eventually calms down.
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  • lbonga1 said:
    Clearly some of these people misread that you DON'T want to spank your baby. But I do agree that redirecting is probably the best bet. My DD cries about half the time I put her down, so I give her whichever toy is close by to play with. Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. But I always explain to her, "Mommy can't hold you right now. I have to … I will be back to play/cuddle with you in a few minutes." She may not understand what I'm saying, but she eventually calms down.
    OP said she doesn't want to spank her YET because she doesn't understand why she's being hit. Spanking is a heated topic on TB.

     

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    [Deleted User]DCKate
  • My DD is 11 months and has been throwing tantrums for about 3 months. She does the same thing as your DD. 
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