Attachment Parenting

3y/o Mom's I'm Desperate- Please help

We have practiced AP since ds was born- bed-sharing, baby-wearing, extended nursing...We take time to listen to ds and treat him with respect, spend one on one time playing.....  So- here is the problem we are having- and maybe it is just a phase, if so, we can grin and bare it...if not, please offer strategies to help :)  

DS does little to no play by himself- he ALWAYS needs DH or myself to be interacting with him.  He will be fine hanging out with just myself or DH, but as soon as both of us are in the room together, especially if DH and I try to talk to one another, he interrupts and won't accept being asked to wait, he throws a fit if he doesn't get attention at the very moment he requests it.  Please keep in mind, we aren't ignoring him- we simply ask him to wait one moment while we finish our sentence or are at a natural breaking point.  I'm not sure how to teach him to stop interrupting...I am getting so frustrated.  He is super demanding and always wants to have things his way- is this just his age?  I thought two was supposed to be the tough age, but this pregnant mama is feeling a little defeated at the moment.  I am all for meeting my munchkin's needs, but I'm really tired of him bossing me around and interrupting when DH and I try to have even the shortest of conversations.  Please offer some advice.  DH is also feeling unsure of how to handle this.  I know our LO is strong willed and I don't want to break that because being strong willed can be so beneficial in the future if he is steered in the right direction- I just really don't want for him to turn out to be a demanding person with no respect for others because we submit to his every request...Sorry for the rambling- it was a really rough morning.  TIA Momma's :)

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Re: 3y/o Mom's I'm Desperate- Please help

  • Is he a young 3 or an older 3? My DD is almost 3 and I feel testing boundaries and not having patience is typical for the age, but something we continue to work on.

    Keep reminding him that its rude to interrupt, he needs to say excuse me and don't give in to what he wants if he's screaming and not being nice. Try starting him off on an activity like a puzzle or with a toy and see of you can leave him with it.
  • Thanks :)  He is almost 3.5 and super smart...and honestly a very sweet, loving kiddo- just extremely demanding lately.  I think this might just be a phase and we will just need to continue reminding him that he shouldn't interrupt because it is rude.  Thanks for your thoughts :)
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  • KC_13KC_13
    10000 Comments 250 Answers 500 Love Its Fifth Anniversary
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    edited September 2013
    My 3 yo definitely interrupts a lot when dh and I are talking and wants to be the center of attention. He does play independently well as he loves imaginative play and entertains himself. Just checking-he does have loads of imaginary play, he just wants you to be involved in it, right? If that's the case you just need to encourage him to play alone. Start with a visual timer and tell him mommy has to do x but you'll be back soon. Gradually increase the amount of time.
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    BabyButler2010lizardknitter
  • Love the timer idea :). And yep- he has a super imagination and dh & I both love playing with him and seeing the things he thinks up... He is just rarely willing to play alone. I will try the timer :). Not sure why I hadn't thought of it! Lol
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  • Yes, it is totally normal for the age.  Annoying, but normal.  We will use the talking stick trick sometimes where I will tell DD that only the person holding the talking stick can talk right now.  Then I will hand it to her when I'm done.  (The actual talking stick is usually whatever I can grab - I have yet to make an official one).  :)
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    lizardknitterBabyButler2010
  • OOOO!!!  Love the talking stick idea :)  I knew you ladies would have some ideas for me!  Thank you!

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  • 3 is a hard age. we just continue to explain to our kids (alomst 3 and almost 5) that sometimes mommy and daddy are talking and you have to wait your turn. Rinse and repeat.
    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
    BabyButler2010
  • I wonder if there's a Daniel Tiger episode that would be relevant...

    DS is just almost 2, so I have zero experience, but he loves and has learned a lot from that show. He shares with other toddlers, asks to go potty, tries new foods, and does other things that Daniel Tiger sings about. The lessons are simple and straightforward, and the songs are easy, cute, and catchy. Maybe the one about taking turns (talking?) would help?

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  • cpmichcpmich
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    edited September 2013
    Love Daniel Tiger. :-)

    This really is a question of age and mental development. Totally normal for age 3. 3 can be a lot harder than 2. We taught our son to say excuse me please or talk to me please instead of pitching a fit. It seems to have helped a lot. Age 3 woes are mostly about control and trying to learn how to manage big emotions like anger and fear appropriately. Sometimes they just need a little help finding the right words.

    By the way Daniel Tiger has a great episode on managing anger... Katerina gets mad. Worth the screen time if you have a lot of meltdowns.
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  • I remember reading somewhere or hearing in a mom discussion about teaching your child to come up and squeeze your hand when you talking to another grown up and they want your attention. You then squeeze back indicating you "heard" them and acknowledge their request. You keep holding their hand until you can attend to them. Obviously with the exception if someone is hurt or in danger. 

     This may not work at home, but you can practice it and maybe he will get the idea of taking turns. 
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  • So ladies, I love Daniel Tiger :). The songs are super catchy & always have a good lesson! And- the hand squeezing idea rocks too! Thank you all!
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    Emerald27
  • We are going through the same thing. Some things we are doing to help...

    1. A reward chart where he earns stars that earn him prizes if he behaves nicely without whining for different parts of his day has helped.

    2. He has to be reminded to use his words and that mommy and daddy make the rules and he is to listen to the rules.

    3. Getting him to help with as much as he can makes him feel important

    4. setting up routines for the morning and night time...i.e. picking out his clothes and show and tell for school the night before and a bedtime routine.
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